Alright, your turn! We’re in the process of putting together a fun and creative little activity for our first Adorn event here at WCC. In it we’ll be exploring how we can better blend the generations, how women of all seasons of life can better understand one another. Because let’s face it, sometimes a 40-year gap can seem like a million-year gap. So much has changed in the last 100 years–someone born in 1940 and someone born in 1980, though only a few decades apart, can feel as though they come from different worlds. Would you agree?
So, will you help us out by providing your feedback? What do you see as the main challenges that keep older and younger women from understanding each other? What are the common misconceptions or insecurities? With the goal of love, unity, and greater understanding, please share your thoughts. Keep in mind this is NOT a time to vent about your mother or your daughter-in-law. 🙂 Just would love to hear your insights, whatever your age may be. Thanks so much for the help!
4 thoughts on “Your turn: Challenges to Understanding”
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Insecurity: Women of my mom’s generation were/are inherently better at running households. A friend of my mom’s told me today that she only has three pictures of my mom from over the course of their thirty year friendship, and in each photo my mom is folding laundry. My clean laundry gets piled on an empty bed until someone needs to go fishing for something clean. Or until my mom comes to visit! 🙂 I feel there are many distractions to being a good housekeeper/homemaker. Between Facebook, blogs, and email, I have hard time getting started on my chores and most of the time I don’t even know where to begin. Of course caring for my infant twins comes first, but beyond that I feel pretty clueless.
I think it has to do with the fact that women today (our age) wear so many hats. Most of my peers are not only mommies but also work outside of the home, because they have to. Women of the previous generation, for the most part, could stay home full time and devote themselves 100% to their homes. There are so many more distractions these days too (technology). I do acknowledge that many live beyond their means, thus creating the need for 2 incomes, but I do know many families (teachers are many of them) that just can’t make it on 1 income and they live SOOOO frugaly. I know I often feel insecure or like I’m not doing as good of job of being wife/mommy/homemaker because I do have to work some out of the home. This can get in the way of my relationships with women of the previous generation.
I think the challenge to overcome is all in our heads. The truth is we are all the same in so many ways. It’s like you pointed out in the post “we are all the same” we can look for commonalities or we can look for the differences, it comes down to what we are looking for. I personally believe and can attest to the fact the older generation has so much to teach us. I have had the honor of gathering together with several women who are all old enough to be my mother (my mother lost a hard fought battle to breast cancer 13 years ago) once a week for several years now. We have dinner and play games or do an informal book/bible study. I have to say I learn so much from those women. Within the group the opinions vary so greatly and it is so wonderful to hear everyone’s perspective from canning beans to homeschooling. I do believe that as the previous post points out that working outside of the home is a huge dividing factor between the generations. Interestingly that is one topic that has come up and several of the women pointed out differences between their experience and this generation of moms. It was noted that for the most part households only had one vehicle, they cooked and ate at home, and entertainment did not suck such a large part of income as it does nowadays. There were no cell phones, cable if any was limited but amazingly they all raised great kids. Our expectations have changed we think we have nothing to learn from older people because the gaps are too great or they simply do not understand. That is simply not the truth; the truth is they have more to teach us than we could ever know.
I might be too late for this, but I just read the comments and have to say how interesting this is! I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Like Zepher, I work part time to help support our family (not so I can buy cute clothes or afford DVR, but because we really need it), and like Emily, there are constantly clothes piled on our couches. It drives me crazy. I could learn SO MUCH from women of my grandmother’s generation, if I only had the time to talk to them.
A friend and I discussed this topic last week, pondering why the heck we feel so confident in the work place and so insufficient at home. We both grew up in Christian households and our moms taught us how to “keep house” before we ever hit middle school. But we’ve lost something since. I’m thankful for my college degree and my professional experience, but I payed something for that privilege. I want my children and my husband to have a real woman of the household taking care of them, looking out and providing for their needs. When will I be able to provide this for them? I keep saying “one day,” but what if that never comes? Women from earlier generations had just as much to deal with (I’m not saying their lives were easy), but they weren’t pulled in as many directions. It seems like we are required to be (literally) super-women to find success in every sphere of our lives.
I think some of the separation between the generations comes from misunderstanding. We think they can’t relate to our difficulties and they think we have moved beyond their wisdom. A good cup of tea and time to chat might go a long way!