Wonders within wonders

It all happened so fast. After almost a year of praying, watching, waiting, wondering, within a week’s time everything fell into place and I found myself sending big news, somewhat awkwardly, via text: “Hi. So um… we sold our house and bought a house yesterday. Moving in 3 weeks. Surprise!”

That’s sort of an exaggeration, but it felt so fast, there just wasn’t time for a lot of explanation. The whole thing is amazing, like, borderline miraculous, and I’m eager to share the whole crazy story with y’all at some point. It is the next chapter of our following-Jesus adventure and it looks way different than I thought, but isn’t that how He’s always working? Rest assured, we are still planted here in Oregon City, still leading Renew, still living in community with all our same peeps.

Nothing’s changing except our address and our view of how BIG God is.

But in the midst of this amazing grace and WONDER, we also had a big crisis in a little heart. The real reason I was texting the news was that I couldn’t talk about the news. Our little Dutch has a major challenge with change, and although he LOVED the new place out in the country, he couldn’t bear the thought of letting go of our beloved bungalow in town. We tiptoed around the topic most of the week, Jeff and I speaking in code through every conversation, delaying the inevitable discussion with Dutch. His sour attitude worsened through the week as he sensed the news was coming, and I kept praying God would change his heart.

But Saturday morning as I prayed for Dutch, dreading the conversation that needed to happen that day, the Father did another wonder in my own heart. He showed me how often my prayers for my son are still selfish. That is, I pray that God will work in his life so that it’s easier on me.

I asked for him to change but the Father gently showed me: It’s me who needs to change first. 

So instead, I asked for God to work a wonder in me:

Help me be patient with him. Help me be kind. Help me not be resentful when Dutch’s struggles dampen my spirits. Help me not rush him, but help me patiently give him space to grieve. Help Dutch be comforted. Help him feel loved and safe. Help him find victory through this huge transition and learn a life-changing lesson: That You are constant even in the midst of change. Help him find JOY in this process and show him all the ways that this is Your grace pouring out on him. I mean, the new house has a giant wood carving of a BALD EAGLE on the deck! It’s like the place was made for him! Father, let him see Your love him. And let him see it … through me. In Jesus’ name.

That morning, Jeff and Heidi left for a little daddy-daughter date to get moving boxes. I had planned to work on writing, but when I saw Dutch, elbow-deep in mud out playing in the yard, I pulled on my heavy coat, slipped into my rubber boots, and headed outside. He lit up when he saw me. “Hey, wanna join me?!

I pulled up a lawn chair. He began happily talking, the way he does when he’s content out in nature. He told me about dinosaurs and George Washington and types of soil and which bugs were his favorite.

He talked the entire morning away while I listened, and smiled. 

But then, around noon, the news had to be shared, and he dissolved into a torrent of tears, screaming and running to his room, slamming the door. I snuggled up beside him, wordlessly. We stayed there a long time. For several hours, he refused to talk. I made his favorite lunch, curled up with him in my bed, and waited.

Then, around 2pm, he asked for a snack. As I got up to head to the kitchen, he remarked,

“Well, if we’re going to live there, let’s go visit every few days so we can enjoy it now!”

My head spun around and I saw his side-smirk, the little twinkle in his eyes. I walked back and sat down beside him. He smiled.

“I’m not mad anymore, Mommy,” he began, his head held high with a new brightness in his eyes. Then, like a dam broken, a torrent of excited questions poured out, Could he bring his cardboard boxes? Could we dig in the mud there? Could we play badminton in the barn? I laughed and assured him, “YES! You can bring every scrap of paper and every box and you can even dig up your favorite worms and bring them in a bucket, if you want. YES.”

I beamed. My boy! My boy had a breakthrough! Never have I seen such a clear breakthrough in his heart and life, so dramatically. I also found that this breakthrough impacted every other area of life. The last six days he’s had a more cheerful outlook on everything–chores, school, life.

He even said on Monday, “I like math!”

Wonders never cease. 

It is this, the wonders within wonders that makes me stand in awe of our great and awesome God. He is mighty enough to move mountains and yet he cares about the fragile fibers of our children’s emotions. He is strong enough to change my wayward heart, and gentle enough to do it through a holy whisper.

What wonders within wonders await you this week? Praying we watch and see, listen and obey, and get to stand in awe of our great God and King.

{Have a blessed week! Thank you for reading.}