I remember my freshman year of college, when I first started really following Jesus — I remember missing my old boyfriend, and keenly feeling that aching torn-between-two worlds feeling. I wanted Jesus more than anything. But there were days I looked wistfully at my old life.
Now, 23 years later, I can see how silly it was to long for what was gone because God had so much more in store for me. There’s no comparison. Life has had pain, for sure, but also blessings beyond what I could have then imagined.
A couple years ago I wrote a song. I have written exactly one song in my life, and this is it. 😉 I wrote it before any of our latest global adventures began. It’s called The Narrow Road. The verses go like this:
Lord, here’s my heart. Divided and Torn. Part wanting my way, part wanting yours. Make it undivided. Make it whole again. Lead me down the narrow road.
There is a wide way that seems right to man, but it leads straight to death, again and again. It’s your kindness, I know, that turns me around, to go down the narrow road.
My flesh hates restrictions, hates feeling bound, but I know your commands, Lord, are where freedom’s found. I submit to your plan, I relinquish my rights, I’ll go down the narrow road.
Put my hand to the plow, and I’ll look straight ahead; Remember Lot’s wife, let dead bury dead. ‘Cause your promise is sure, and nothing compares, I’ll go down the narrow road.
All this world offers, I’ll count it as loss. Deny’s self’s demands, and take up my cross. ‘Cause your way leads to life, abundant and true, I’ll go down the narrow road.
Then on that day, when I reach journey’s end, I’ll meet with my Maker, my Savior, my Friend. He’s the way, truth, the life, He’s the only Door, to joy in its fullness, pleasure evermore.
The chorus goes:
I look wistfully at the road that is wide, then I remember why my Savior died. And the life I now live, is Christ crucified, I’ll go down the narrow road.
I had forgotten all about this song, until today when I was reading John Piper’s words today:
One of the great temptations to keep us from fulfilling what Jesus calls us to to do is that we grow weary in the battle and look back on how easy life was before we started to follow him. Strive to enter through the narrow door means, fight for perseverence. … In other words, one of the factors that makes the door to the Kingdom of God narrow is that striving to enter must last to the end. Therefore, Jesus warns us against nostalgia for the former days of worldliness. He says that the stress of the last days of this age will tempt people to look back. So with stark simplicity he warns, “Remember Lot’s wife” (Luke 17:32) … Striving to enter through the narrow door means taking heed to the warning of Jesus: “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God” (Luke 9:62).
What Jesus Demands From the World, P. 177
This pandemic has left many of us wondering, “What does it mean to ‘go back’?” I don’t think we can go back. Because the world is different. We are different. And God is doing His thing, as always, and invites us in, but there is always this temptation to look wistfully at “the old days.”
When the days drew near for him to be taken up, [Jesus] set his face to go to Jerusalem.
Luke 9:51
This week we remember Jesus’ movement toward the cross. As the days drew near, he “set his face” in the right direction. No reminiscing about wine at weddings. No wistful remembrance of the “good ol’ days.” No bitterness that his once-friend Judas was about to betray him.
He set his face.
Lord, set ours.