Where to go with your gripe …

I closed Dutch’s door and marched to the living room. I was breathing hard, frustrated and at a loss as to what to do. Looking back, I was doing what to do, giving him time in his room to get a happy heart and change his complaining attitude before resuming his chores. But in the midst of it, tired and battling a head-cold, I just felt overwhelmed and exhausted.

So I picked up the phone.

It was a weak moment and I knew it. I’m phone-phobic so usually I don’t call anyone, ever, even when I should, but this was different and all I wanted to do was lay my gripe square in someone’s lap.

So I dialed my parents.

Of course, God loves me too much to let me do something stupid. So my parents didn’t answer. Why I have no idea other than His sovereignty. But as I hung up the phone the gripe welled up within me and by His grace He showed me in whose lap it truly belonged.

Only God’s.

I’m trained to be thankful. My habit is to turn a circumstance around and around in my hand until I can see some aspect of it for which to be glad. This is a good thing. But what about when I’m holding that circumstance in my hand and no matter how many times i turn it around and look at it all I want to do is throw it through the window, shattering glass in a thousand pieces?

Because those times do happen, amen?

Thankfully, God has given us a divinely-prescribed space for complaint. (And for that we can be thankful.) Throughout Scripture we see men and women of God honestly bringing their complaints to God and pouring out their hearts to Him. David, the man with a heart like God’s, expresses this in Psalm 142:

I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble.

He’s writing this from a cave. He’s probably starving. He’s fleeing from mad-man Saul who seeks his life. He’s been forsaken, alone, deserted. And the first thing he does is not make a list of things he’s grateful for …

He gripes to God first. 

First he pours out His honest heart to God. Unless the filth is cleaned out first the gratitude won’t be real, it’ll be forced, contrived, in-genuine. Yes, we are to thank God by faith, but perhaps I, we, sometimes forget this first important step: To first give God my gripe. 

David continues his complaint…

When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way. In the path where I walk men have hidden a snare for me. Look to my right and see no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life.

I cry to you, O Lord; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.” Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need; rescue me from those who pursue me, for they are too strong for me.

Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name. Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me.

Perhaps a modern-day version might go something like this:

I’m frustrated and am on the verge of barking at my kids or punching out a sharp text to my husband or writing a FB status that I know I will regret. Instead I will run to my room for two minutes and pour out my heart to God …

God, you see this house, that it’s a mess. You know I’m the only one who cleans up(!). You know I’m trying to seek You, God and these kids lean hard into me all day and they never stop talking and somehow dinner still needs to appear and the bathroom clean before small group tonight. You know my anxieties, about how to school my children, and why my friend is acting strange toward me. And what did I do wrong? You know my insecurities, why I’m so afraid of losing what I have, why sometimes I just want to hide and never blog and let the world see into this beautiful mess you’ve called my life. See everything, God, and deliver me. Give me peace and show me how to be grateful. I trust you.  I trust You. Amen.

Maybe a prayer like that is somewhere in your heart today? Maybe today, before you write your list of thanks (and I do hope you write a list of thanks!), you might just need to pour out a complaint to God and let Him clean you up on the inside?  This lesson is for me, hope it can encourage you too. {Thanks for reading…}