When you’re feeling defensive…

Me? Guilty? 

I kept going through my day, but inside I was agitated. We did our normal stuff, but finally Dutch (who never ceases to amaze me at his occasional sensitivity and insight) remarked, “What’s wrong, mommy? You seem concerned.”

Yes, that was it. Concerned. I was concerned because it had so completely caught off guard to have someone accuse me of guilt. Me?! Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m not perfect. Good grief I know I fall short in a million different ways each day. But this was different. This person was implying real genuine GUILT.

Without saying a single word, I found myself crafting clear airtight defenses in my mind. Even though this truly wasn’t a big deal, it caught me off guard how defensive I felt.

Defensive. 

That was it. That was the feeling, lingering there, agitating me, distracting me from the day. I felt defensive.

I didn’t like the feeling. I knew it was wrong, but it was the feeling nonetheless.

I opened up my Bible, and by His hand of providence, I happened to be slated to study Romans 3. Y’all know the subject of Romans 3, right?

Guilt.

The whole point of Romans 3 is to make it crystal clear: We are all buried in guilt. Every one of us. Our case is worse than we even realize. It doesn’t matter who you are, all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (3:23)

Oh yeah. That’s right. I’m included in that “all.”

The reason we feel guilty is because we are. Sometimes we’re more keenly aware than others (I don’t care for those times, thank you very much) but the truth is, we’re still buried in guilt even on our best days. This is the bad news.

But this bad news brings the Good News, right? Romans 3:23-24 are all one sentence. Yes,

“all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God AND are justified by His GRACE as a GIFT.”

We aren’t justified because we went to trial and won, proving our innocence.

We aren’t justified because we cleaned up our act and promise we don’t do it again.

We aren’t justified because so-and-so thinks we’re wonderful.

We aren’t justified by anything other than grace. 

A gift. Completely undeserved, unmerited, free favor from God.

There is no need for defensiveness. Jesus is our defense.

When I become defensive, it proves that I don’t understand the gospel. Or that I’ve forgotten it. I’ve strayed from finding my identify only and ever in my status as a loved daughter of God, adopted into His family by His free gift of grace.

When I slip into defensiveness, I prove that I’ve forgotten grace and begun to build my own identify on entitlement, achievement, and performance. 

How gracious is our God, to gently remind us … run back to the gospel of grace.

God is the just and the justifier, the One who demands perfection and the One who satisfied that demand in His Son Jesus and freely offers acceptance and new life to all who receive this gift of grace.

Best. Deal. Ever. 

Yes, we’re guilty. Every day.

But the Judge also happens to be our Dad. And He has declared us FORGIVEN because of His Son Jesus. All pride ends here. All self-justification ends here. All efforts to prove our innocence, end here.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. 

My chains are gone, I’ve been set free, my God my Savior has ransomed me.

{May you know this grace today. Thank you for reading.}