“What on earth do you have to be sad about?”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“What’s your deal?”
Yesterday we looked at disappointments that simply last a long time. Today Hannah will show us another type of difficult disappointment. I hope and pray you’ve never experienced it, but chances are you have.
2. Those that don’t appear to be disappointments, or at least that others do not understand (1 Sam. 1:8).
Check out 1 Samuel 1:8: Interestingly, God used this verse in my lifeWhen God Broke My Heart in a completely opposite way than He showed me this time. Isn’t it crazy how that happens? This time I saw Elkanah’s words in a whole new way:
A human way.
Consider what we talked about yesterday, Hannah cannot have children, and has endured years of torment because of Elkanah’s other wife Peninah. She is not just devastated because of being barren but tormented because of this other horrible women who provokes her year after year. Only a woman can understand how horrible this must have been–no one knows how to hurt women like other women, amen? I know when I’m in the midst of disappointment, I turn to my dear husband for comfort and encouragement. So in the midst of Hannah’s disappointment, how does her husband respond?
“And Elkanah, her husband, said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?” (1 Sam. 1:8)
And right now I want to throw my shoe at him.
I have absolutely never seen this verse before in this light and now I want to strangle Elkanah with my shoestring. Am I not more to you than ten sons?? Well, Elkanah, not sure how to put this nicely … NO you’re not. Because in this society bearing children was everything, and bearing sons was everything, and here this polygymous man must have seen the torment that was going on in his home, and yet he doesn’t understand Hannah’s sorrow. He doesn’t get it. Why are you sad?
Translated to our day:
What on earth do you have to be sad about?
What’s wrong with you?
What’s your deal?
How comforting is that? How encouraging? How cherished does that make you feel? Yeah, same here. Not at all.
Sometimes the most difficult disappointments are the ones that others simply do not understand.
This was why my particularly difficult period of disappointment came while we lived with my parents. God was stripping me away of everything–in my heart. I felt like I was dying. But on the outside it didn’t make any sense. Everyone just always thought how lucky we were to have such nice parents that let us live with them (and we DO–I adore them, the whole world knows that). But the disappointment I was feeling was so internal and nobody seemed to understand. Though certainly no one meant to, I felt a constant What’s the big deal?
Have you ever been there? Ever struggled through a disappointment that didn’t translate to those around? Or, sadly, has the one closest to you, perhaps even your spouse, looked at you and said, “Come on! What’s the big deal? What do you have to be sad about?”
Thankfully, I have never, ever, ever, had my husband treat me like that. But sweet friends, I know so many of you have. And I pray that this simple message can help you know–the stuff you feel is hard … it IS hard. Sometimes the greatest gift can simply be another person listening and saying, “Wow. Yeah, that would be hard for me too.”
And the greatest gift is that that other person is Christ Himself:
“This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses…” Heb. 4:15
He understands when no one else does. I pray this translates to your heart today. Thanks for reading.
4 thoughts on “When no one understands …”
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I am single. Singular? No, God has assured me HE is my husband (Isaiah 54:5) and when I am disappointed in a situation, at least for now, God is the only one immediately available to whom I can cry out to in my pain. He is a God who is big enough to handle my emotions that somewhat translate to “throwing a shoe” at Him. He tenderly allows me to plod through my pain or (ICK) self-pity and anger. He waits and allows me to vent and finally land in His lap of comfort and care AND direction. There I am finally able to understand more clearly as I crash at Cape Disappoinment He alone is able to pick me out of the waters that threaten to crush me. Thankful. So thankful for the High Priest…HE understand my weakness.
Ahh…friend. So good. I have often thought that part of why you have such an amazingly intimate relationship with the Father is that He is so truly your husband as well. I’m sure it is often so hard having “only” Him to turn to, but He sure does envelope you and speak to you! I’m thankful to be recipient of some of the things from your “shelf” that He has given you. There is so much He has deposited in you! Thank you for sharing … I love you.
Thanks for this today, Kari. Read your posts daily and always resonate with them but this in particular struck me on a day that I most needed it. I find most often it’s me telling MYSELF, “What’s the big deal? What do YOU have to be sad about?” Thank you for your words, insight, comfort and reassurance that feeling sad sometimes (even despairingly!) is normal…I am normal…problems are normal. But through thanksgiving to Him for the opportunity to lean on Him in our weakness, we will be okay. All the best to you!
Mmm…yes, that voice in our head. And the enemy’s taunts, pushing us down down down. I’m so glad this message can speak to that today, Cynthia. Praise Jesus. Bless you today as you lift that thanksgiving to Him!