It would be really embarrassing to see a print out of all the random things I type into my little google search box. I think I mentioned that one day my two searches were: “Ok to eat ground beef left out overnight?” and “How to clean Boudreaux’s Butt Paste off walls?” You can tell what kind of day it was. This week my searches have included “black low-rise flare yoga pants” and “best steam iron” (I got birthday money and those are my two wish list items–sad but true). In the past I’ve been known to search “how to get my 10-month-old to nap” and “how many calories in small Blizzard?” Just for the record, the answer to the last one is 550 (for a small — yikes!). I even look up proper word pronunciations if I’m unsure. I know. GEEK.
All that to say that as a girl (I will call myself a girl until I’m 80) in this computer/internet world I go to google for just about everything. It’s so nice to have a place you can go for advice about everything. No matter what I’ve wondered about, it seems that someone out there has done the research for me. I love it!
You know what’s scary though? That this instant-answer sort of culture in which we live has, I believe, weakened my ability to wait on the Lord and His voice. I remember last summer, when we were waiting on the Lord about job situations and living situations, I remember actually thinking, as horrible as this sounds, “If only I could just google an answer and find out what we were supposed to do.” Yes, I thought that.
Alas, we cannot Google God. He cannot be googled because He is God, He is relational, He is our goal. And if all we want are answers and quick fixes, as I often do, we have missed the point of the gospel entirely. How sad that so often I just want my information life figured out…instead of really just wanting Him.
Tonight’s message at church was on God’s Word, and I must admit I have been struggling in this area. For whatever reason since graduating from seminary I find myself so wanting to “take a break” from the extrememly scheduled and disicplined regimen that I kept before that I find myself just, well, slacking I guess. I’m still reading, but I find my mind wandering. Because I don’t “have” to do things, I find myself doing a lot more Scrabble playing and a lot less Word searching. (I was going to write “a lot more word searches and a whole lot less searching the Word” but then realized that was the most ridiculously cheesy thing on the planet. I have a cheese-streak, sadly enough.) Anyway, here’s the sad truth: It’s mid-June which means I should be in Psalms according to my reading plan. This morning I read 2 Kinds 23. OUCH. WAY behind.
But it’s not just that I’m “behind”, it’s that I realize my hunger and thirst for God have just been lacking of late. So while my flesh would like to just Google, “be near me Lord Jesus”, it doesn’t work like that. How sad that I think like that. How sad that I want instant spirituality without investing in the Love relationship of my life, with my Savior.
So tonight I’m asking God to renew my heart of love, and primarily by renewing in me a fervent passion to study His Word, to draw nearer to Him, to get back on track with the discipline of reading His life-giving scriptures. Because life is so much more than figuring out which steam iron to buy. Help us, Father, to love you more and search Your Words to know Your heart.