Using Honey {A great parenting idea from reader Lacey}

I just have to say it is such a joy getting to know many of you through this space. Although I know I only get tiny snippets of your life, I enjoy the snippets you let me see. Reader Lacey, who refers to herself as “Beans and Rice Lacey” in her emails because she was the one who shared the idea for the Beans and Rice party, recently shared this great story from her days of parenting Littles.  We all could use a little honey more often!  Enjoy!

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I have a confession to make: Most days I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m no expert. And no other job has humbled me or made me realize this more than motherhood. If you knew me well, you’d know that naturally I’m a free spirited, fly by the seat of my pants kinda gal (aka, I STINK at planning and organizing anything!). In motherhood this has caused me some stress, I must admit.

However, all is not lost. Thankfully, in Romans 8:26, God tells us that “the Spirit helps us in our weakness.” I am SO thankful that when we have made Christ our boss, His Holy Spirit lives within us, and we do not have to rely on our flesh or natural abilities but can actually ask God to guide and direct us.

One particular morning, God taught me this jewel. It was a typically crazy day around our house, and my children were bickering. I was getting worn pretty thin. So I prayed “God, I don’t know what to do here, would you please give me an idea?” And this is what came to me. A simplified version of Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

I brought my two oldest children into the kitchen and I brought out the honey and the vinegar. I asked them if they’d like to taste the vinegar. It was gross. Then I let them try some honey and asked them which one they liked better. Naturally, they wanted more honey. Then I told them “You will always get further using honey than vinegar.”

Next we role played what “using vinegar” looks like: “Give that back!” (they had fun role playing vinegar scenes). Finally we role played what “using honey” looks like: “I don’t like it when you take a toy out of my hand. Would you give it back please?” They got it!

This one little saying has done wonders in our home to create harmony and good communication skills. The kids know that they cannot come and tell on their sibling unless they’ve tried using honey first. Every day we have countless opportunities to practice! They are learning that they don’t enjoy being spoken to with vinegar and when they feel frustrated they are learning how to communicate in a way that doesn’t wound and gets results.

I say this phrase at least 3 times a day: “Ask for what you want and use honey”. Assertiveness training and teaching my children to get along all in one shot! Ahem, this has even been helpful in my own communication.

God is good like that, he helps us in our weaknesses, and He even gives us great ideas when we are fresh out. Praying he blesses your home today with lots of honey!

Do you have any tips or tricks that work in your house? Please share!

And thanks for reading.