The Sacredness of Sickness

Dutch and I have been sick for more than 2 weeks now.  In fact, between his burns, then my sickness, then his sickness, then my sickness again I feel like it’s been ages since we were full strength.  And honestly…it’s getting old.  A simple cold seems insurmountable when I’m 8-months pregnant.  Then adding a sick toddler, getting the house show-ready, and then some significant stresses from our other house situations this week, today I hit the breaking point–I was so tired from not sleeping and being sick and up with Dutch at night I melted into a heap of tears.  “I can’t do this anymore,” I cried to Jeff.

And all week I’ve thought, “Oh it’d be good to write a post called The Sacredness of Sickness.”  But you know what, all week I couldn’t think of one blasted reason why sickness is anything other than frustrating.  I missed play-groups, dates with friends, and now I’m missing the highlight of my week: Saturday night and Sunday morning church.  How can there be anything sacred about that?

And to tell you the truth I’m not yet rejoicing and saying, “Oh how good it is to be miserable and sick and tired!”  But I turned today to 1 Corinthians 12:8-9 to remind myself of what Paul said, when he was bombarded by some thorn in his flesh which God refused to take away: “Three times I pleaded with hte Lord about this, that it should leave me.  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore I will boast all the most gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 

I will say that some of the most significant points in my life, where God has moved in amazing ways, have been at my lowest points, either physically or emotionally.  It was at a very low point when I was so discouraged with us not finding a job, that I made my facebook status, “Kari is discouraged.”  Through that a friend saw it, asked why, and when I explained he emailed us about a youth pastor job, which we applied for but didn’t really feel was right for us (and we didn’t get it), and in the process of that interview, our Multnomah professor overheard that we were looking, and she emailed her son-in-law who is the Lead Pastor of Willamette Christian Church … where Jeff now serves as Associate Pastor.  I can think of countless times I’ve been so weak and helpless and discouraged, and it was in those times that God stepped in, revealing His power, His perfect power. 

So right now I’m just writing that by faith.  I’m still feeling weak and discouraged, but today as I lay in bed and cried out to God, I knew that somehow He was pleased by my weakness, that there was a desperation that must please the heart of the Father.  The same way it blesses my heart when Dutch curls up in my arms and just wants to snuggle (which only happens when he’s sick).  Perhaps it creates a bond with my Father I would miss otherwise.

Wish I had a more heroic attitude, but I’m pretty wimpy.  But this is just my best attempt to ask God for His perspective and help me to quit worrying about the future and whining about the present.  And even if sickness is sacred, please remember to take your vitamins and wash your hands!