Yesterday morning I sat with some dear women and seven of our small children. The noise level in my little house was a force to be reckoned with, but as all moms seem to have the unique ability of tuning out chaos and focusing in, we maintained a conversation through wiping bottoms, serving snacks and soothing owies.
We were discussing the book, Missional Mom. Helen Lee’s message on motherhood and calling have put to into words what my heart’s been feeling and wrestling with for quite some time. I’ll let her speak:
[When we have children] the circumstances of our lives change [but] our calling remains teh same. We are still primarily called to know and love God, then love our neighbors as an outflow of that relationship. Our mission remains to “bear witness” and “make disciples,” both activities require our continuing participation in the world. The calling and mission God has for us remains unchanged once we become wives and mothers… Sometimes we replace our primary calling and mission by saying, “Motherhood is my highest calling.” When a secondary call displaces a primary one, the confusion begins. … I do not mean to devalue motherhood in the least. Motherhood is a critical secondary calling for those of us who have been given the privilege of playing that role in a child’s life. But we always need to put our role as mothers in the right context and never prioritize our secondary calling as a mother over our primary calling to know and love God” (23-24)
Now, if we aren’t careful, of course we can sacrifice the welfare of our kids in the name of “ministry” — that happens all too often. While we aren’t “only” moms, it’s true that the primary people God has called us to disciple are the little lambs in our home. But elevating Motherhood as the highest calling above all others is dangerous. We all have the same primary calling, whether we are married, single, work, stay at home, live in Cambodia or America, wherever we are and whoever we are and whatever we do, we are all called to love God, know Him, enjoy Him, worship Him, and witness of Him to a lost and broken world.
The reality is there will always be an endless list of “good things” we can do. And we cannot just say that all activities in the home are “godly” and all activities outside the home are “worldly.” God doesn’t make that distinction so neither should we. The Proverbs 31 woman was busy at home and outside the home. The bottom line is we must seek God and His heavenly wisdom. We must hear from Him. We must spend so much time pursuing Him and getting to know His heart that we are able to discern His voice and know His particular plan for us to fulfill our primary–and secondary–callings in life. We cannot compare or judge ourselves against each other. Before God alone do we stand or fall for how we spend our time as moms.
I pray we can be freed from the “mommy guilt” and the endless comparisons of what a “good mom” looks like. I pray we will make our decisions based on God’s Word, His Holy Spirit’s leading in our lives, and the wisdom of our husbands as we joyfully submit to them as to the Lord. I pray you are free to live the Sacred Mundane where every detail of life is an opportunity to know God and make Him known. Thanks so much for reading.