Pushing forward. {Fasting series}

{Finally continuing the series! I shared here about fasting, about this oft-neglected weapon that works wonders in the heavenly realm, like a spiritual Vitamix. So now, a bit more about our 40-day fasting journey…}

Strangely enough, I kept sensing that the very thing I most wanted to avoid (fasting) was the thing that would yield the most significant spiritual results in my own life, the lives of those around me, and even in our nation and our world. But I felt lost. I had engaged in a very simple fast (9am-5pm on Thursdays) for the past 2 years, but even that felt discouraging. I honestly felt like most Thursdays I was just trudging through the afternoons, so hungry, waiting for 5pm so I could finally eat and quit being a grump. Thursdays are the only day where we always stay home and never make plans, and I felt like the one day I had to just savor being home and tackle projects, ended up being the day I was most tired, cranky, and just plan hangry. After we moved to our new house, I suggested to the Lord (ha!) that maybe I could be done with this whole fasting-once-a-week thing…?

Wouldn’t you know it, quitting fasting was not exactly what He had in mind. Increasing fasting was more along the lines of what He wanted. 

Isn’t that just it, though? So often, when we’re trying to learn something new, or master some new skill or habit, we try a little bit of it, and then when it gets hard (and it always does), we pull back and want to quit rather than push forward and go even harder into that thing. If we attempting something godly, and it’s difficult, rarely is the answer that we’re supposed to quit.

If things are always hard on Sunday mornings, the answer isn’t to stop going to church.

If morning prayer is difficult, the answer isn’t to sleep in. 

If diligent parenting is hard, the answer isn’t to give up. 

So, instead of quitting, I kept sensing God actually intended for me (us) to press in even harder to fasting and prayer. But, I had no idea what that would look like. If fasting 8 hours felt nearly impossible to me, how on earth would I take on something longer? Besides, I had so many legitimate excuses:

• I’m just not good at fasting. Some people can not eat and be fine. Not me. I need food.
• When I’m hungry I get really grumpy. It wouldn’t be good for my kids if I was grumpy all the time.
• I need protein. When I don’t have enough protein I get a headache.
• I’m a mom! I have to make meals every day, three times a day. I have to cook and clean and do lots of physical activity during the day. I’m not a monk who can go out in the wilderness and not eat. I’ve got life to do!

In the midst of my defeatist inner monologue, God sovereignly placed a book in my path. A good friend of ours was over, doing some painting in our house. We were talking about the Lord, and I shared that I was struggling with feeling called to fasting, but also feeling like a failure in that area. He shared that he’d just finished reading The Jesus Fast and highly recommended it. I got it from his wife a few days later, and devoured the book in three days flat. It felt like Lou Engle had written it just for me, at this exact time.

Reading this powerful book convinced me that corporate fasts, especially 40-day fasts, were the weapon needed to wage war in the heavenlies and effect change in the spiritual realm. Engle uses Scripture, showing how in times of great crisis, battle, desperation, or change, God’s people have always called out to Him with corporate prayer and fasting, and God always showed up and brought deliverance and salvation in response to His people’s pleas.

I am only 36, so I haven’t seen a lot of different decades or eras, but I know enough to know that we are in desperate need as individuals, as a nation, and as a world.

If ever there was a time for God’s people to join together in corporate prayer and fasting, that time is now. 

As I bulldozed through the book, the conviction gripped me that yes, a 40-day fast was exactly what God was calling me to embark on. And yet, it seemed absolutely impossible. Hadn’t he heard all my excuses?

He may as well have been calling me to walk on water.

{Have you ever felt like that? If you feel failure and struggle in your grace-driven effort to follow Jesus, PUSH FORWARD don’t pull back. INCREASE, don’t quit. More soon. Thanks for reading.}