The book you don't want to read but will love when you do … {Giveaway}
It was last minute when I thoughtlessly grabbed the book. We were headed out the door for our anniversary weekend, and I realized I’d forgotten to pack a book.
Honestly, I had been feeling a little lethargic in the reading-department, as none of my summer reads had gripped my attention. I had stared at the stack of books by my bed, like a woman standing in front of her full closet and lamenting, “I have nothing to wear!” I stood there feeling uninspired and inwardly lamented, “I have nothing to read!”
But, Thou shalt not leave on a weekend away, sans children, without a book!
And there it sat.
It had landed on my doorstep, literally. Touching Godliness by KP Yohannan. Sent from Gospel for Asia, for me to review. So, as we were zipping out the door, I tossed the book in my purse.
As we made the long trek over the mountain, Jeff and I talked, prayed, reminisced, dreamed a little about the future. But I couldn’t shake the vague aimless feeling settled like a heavy fog on my heart. It’s true, I was happily married. I did love my family. I did love God and want to serve Him. But something felt missing. Off a bit. We were already giving away money, we were living in community, we were spending time in the Word and prayer. I shrugged it off and stared out the window.
Upon arriving in Bend, we packed a picnic lunch and headed to the river to swim. Leaning back in low lawn chairs, we rested our feet in the icy cold water, welcome refreshment in the 90-degree heat. I opened my Bible to Psalm 42:
“As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.”
Yes. That’s it. That’s how I felt. Thirsty for God but not sure how to find more of Him. By praying more? Fasting? Giving more money away? What? So after reading several psalms, I pulled out Touching Godliness.
Shame on me, but I wasn’t expecting much.
Another book on becoming godly? Awesome.
By KP Yohannan? Let me guess: Give your money away and stop being a selfish American. Awesome. I get it.
Boy was I surprised.
I’m half-tempted not to tell you what the book is about, because if I tell you I’m afraid you won’t read it. It’s no wonder he has a vague title, no subtitle, and a bare-bones description on the back cover. KP is no fool. But It’s not fair to call this a book review unless I tell you something about it:
It’s about submission.
There. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. It’s good. Really good. Really stinkin’ good and I devoured this book like nobody’s business and by lunch on Saturday I’d read the whole thing and silent tears had streaked down my cheek, under the sunglasses. I’d gazed blurry-eyed up at the clouds and prayed short, desperate prayers: “Lord, help me. Do this in me.”
Here are a few snippets:
“In the measure by which we open our life to Christ and bend our necks to the yoke, dying daily to our self-centeredness, independence, pride, and reasoning, and instead depend on God, in the same measure we will manifest His nature in our lives” (p. 72).
“I know many who follow the Lord and work hard, sacrifice much and go to the ends of the world. But the question remains for us all: Is it out of pride and self-assertion?” (p. 81)
(Of submission to leaders) “When our pastors speak into our lives, their words should not be taken lightly. If we listen to them and heed their warnings, our lives will be blessed. Obey them and be submissive. Don’t fall prey to the attitude of the modern church, which has lost the fear of God and His shepherds” (p. 110).
“What does it look like to respect your husband? …Around the globe, to correct your husband, especially in front of others, is disrespectful to him. Listening to and taking seriously his counsel shows respect. When others are present, not giving your husband any room in the conversation and being the one to answer every question that gets asked is disrespectful.” (p.114)
“When Jesus described Himself, the words He chose were “gentle and humble.” We, as his delegated authority, can only rightly represent Him if we too are humble.” (p. 184)
As I re-read these quotes I realize I’m not doing the book justice. So, I’d sum it all by saying this:
If you feel stuck somehow in your Christian life, like you are doing all that you know to do and still feel frustrated, distant, or unsettled; If you feel there is still some barrier between you and God, or you feel strained in your close relationships, if you feel like you aren’t quite where you wish you were in your relationship with Jesus … read this book.
You might not want to read it, but you’ll love it when you do.
{And…because I’d really love you to read this book, leave me a comment and we’ll pick one fabulous winner to receive a FREE copy! When you read the book the graphic below will come to life … Thank you so much for reading.}
What to do when you just don't care
Write about lepers.
This one item on my to-do list keeps lingering.
But see, my life is stressful. People need stuff. I get tired. Children need constant training. The house is always messy. In church-planting there is no “just do it like last time” option. There is no last time. It’s all new so it all takes energy and every decision must be thought out, prayed about, considered, weighed, because it will undoubtedly become the “last time” that becomes our default in the future.
I just get tired and I every time I look at that to-do list there’s that one item that keeps staring me down.
Write about lepers.
I chide myself inwardly. Come on, Kari. Lepers, for crying out loud! They’re sick, they’re suffering. Jesus loves them. And you’re a GFA blogger and your assignment is to write about lepers. Now do it!
And I close my eyes and all I can think about is all the things I need to do and how tired I am.
And this saddens me. Because the truth is, I don’t care.
It’s a terrible and absolutely true confession:
Sometimes, I just don’t care about lepers.
(Go ahead, unsubscribe.)
Jeff and I sat long in our kitchen the other day, talking about ministry and people and why this is all so hard and What do we do next? And we both realized that the question isn’t What do I need to do next? The question is, Who do I need to love more?
Love.
That’s why I’m tired and I don’t care about lepers.
Because as I sit here, right now, with tears streaming down my cheeks, I have to admit that I’m severely lacking in love.
I just don’t love people.
Oh, I love some people. And I could name them off for you. I love them so much I’d do anything for them. But then there’s all the rest of those folk that honestly … I don’t love. Some are ladies, some are lepers, but the problem is the same:
A lack of love.
The reality is I don’t need to do much more of anything else. I just need to love more.
How?
Part of it might be acts of service. Our hearts follow our money, so it might be going here and giving what you’d usually spend on make-up or face-wash or skincare or vitamins or medicine in a month, and give that instead to help reach lepers with the love and hope of Jesus Christ. Or, forgo spendy Valentine’s festivities and instead love by giving to the least lovable — lepers. That’s definitely a start. We might watch the video at the bottom of this page and look at the real people God created who are suffering. We might just honestly admit that our hearts are numb and we just don’t care and get down on our faces and ask God,
Help me to love!
Or do all three. (I recommend this option.)
I did all three, and I have to say, all the frustration, the self-centered stress and the fatigue that comes from a faulty focus all began to melt away as God slowly started to help me love. In fact, I got way more than I bargained for — we decided to do a leprosy night with the kids, reading the stories of Naaman and of the 10 lepers, then teaching them about leprosy and showing them the video below and talking about ways we can help. Both kids eagerly gave their Christmas money to Gospel for Asia so that people could be healed! Their ready-love and enthusiasm for giving humbled me. I want an enthusiastic love like that.
Without love, we’re just a clanging gong. We’re just do-gooder religious people who go through the motions but don’t embody the supernatural love of Jesus Christ. I am confessing to you that I struggle to love. Perhaps, just perhaps, you do too.
Let’s give, let’s look, and let’s pray that God will renew in our hearts a fresh, fervent, deep love for others. For sisters and slaves, for ladies and lepers:
God, show me how to love like you have loved me.
Thanks for reading.