I waved goodbye to the kids, walked straight to the room where I’d be staying, collapsed on the bed … and sobbed. Gasping-for-air sobs, tears streaming, snot running, can’t-see kind of sobs, hoping no one could hear me.
What NOW, Lord?
Sure, I had prepared for this conference. I had 37 pages of notes, it’s not like I’d been napping all summer, but something still hadn’t clicked, I didn’t have the same sense of readiness, confidence, and anticipation that I’d always had before.
I remember Beth Moore saying she often had to face the fear, “Oh no, what if THIS is the one, the one where God doesn’t show up?!!!”
I could relate. I’d recently had lunch with a lovely woman of God, also a speaker, and we’d related about the fact that we, like everyone else of course, are utterly lost without God’s power and Spirit. Not just sorta kinda. Utterly. There is NOTHING I can do in my own strength to effect life-change in others, or myself.
It is an uncomfortable feeling, this utter-dependence thing.
Especially when there are hundreds of eager faces awaiting, all ears, ready for a Word from God. I looked around the room, if only there was a way to escape! But I was dropped off at the camp, I didn’t even have a getaway car! 🙂
Of course I’m exaggerating, but not much! Those of you who have ever stepped out in faith in any way know this feeling: What if I step on the water and I SINK?!
Thankfully, I knew the truth: You set the sails and wait for wind.
Because I’m not alone in this, and neither are you. We all have to get from point A to point B, by faith. We can either believe we’re in a rowboat, miserably working all by ourselves, sweating and straining and stressing and moving very slowly. Or we can believe we’re in a jetboat, blissfully remarking, “Just let go and let God, man!” and completely ignore our very real part of the process.
But the truth is, the spiritual life is akin to sailing.
There’s work that we can do, and there’s a lot of work we can’t.
We work and we wait.
Our job is to set the sails. We create an environment where the wind of the Spirit can work. If we neglect our hearts, our habits, if we lazily pursue pleasure instead of doing the hard work of repentance, prayer, and raising the sails of God’s Word, we will miss the power and joy of His work in our lives.
But when we set the sails well, we can rest, wait, without fear, without anxiety.
Because it’s the wind that moves us, there will be fast seasons, slow seasons … still seasons. This is ok. This is normal. We must know the difference between stillness and stagnancy.
Is the stillness because of the wind, or because we’ve neglected our sails?
No checklist here or easy answers, but as we grow, we learn. We learn how to set the sails, and wait.
That first night at the conference, God’s wind blew in a powerful way. As some precious sisters in Christ stood on that stage before me and finished the work of setting our sails, and God was faithful to move us.
I learned all over again how to ditch the rowboat, the speedboat, the FEARboat! I learned all over again how to set the sails and wait. Our God is a mighty wind and He is faithful.
“…Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” Phil. 2:12-13
*This post is from last year, but I find myself feeling exactly the same way, OFTEN. Right? I prayed this week, “Oh Lord, I feel so inadequate.” Although I feel like that, I know the truth. I AM inadequate to move a sailboat in my own strength. I know I am inadequate to cross a vast body of water, in my own strength. But I have set my sails and I have placed my hope in Him and HE IS FAITHFUL. Amen?! Amen! So, would you also please be praying for us this weekend as we gather for the CBNW Regional women’s camp conference! We have set the sails and wait on the wind of God’s faithful power and presence, to do His good work in our hearts and lives. And what about you? Where do you need to go, spiritually speaking? How can you set the sails and wait for His wind? Thanks so much for praying, and for reading.
4 thoughts on “Set the sails, wait for wind”
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So, so good, Kari! I will pray for your weekend. ? I love the sailboat analogy – so helpful!
Just got back from attending this conference. You are such a good teacher! There were LOTS of things I took away from your teaching, but the one thing that resonated most with me was in goal calling your ministry may appear to be a failure. I have some grown kids that appear to not be walking with God. One seems to be losing faith in God. Another is living with her boyfriend. Every so often one or both of these kids will make a comment that makes me think maybe all isn’t lost after all. I will keep doing my little things, by living my life as a Godly witness, referring to promises of God, kindnesses, etc. I may not know if my mission was a success or not this side of Heaven. Thanks so much for what appears to me, but maybe not to yourself GODLY WISDOM and insight! Bless you for the sacrifices you make to invest in our lives!
Oh thank you so much, Marcia. SO grateful that God spoke specifically to you through His Word. Hallelujah!
The words… Create an environment for the wind of the spirit to work… just made an analogy in my mind that I can hold on to when I get to that hopeless point and just confirmed something deep inside that I know the Lord has been telling me while I have been waiting (for years). But I get tired, so very tired sometimes and I allow that slack in my ‘environment keeping’ and kind of (literally)throw myself across my bed in tears also! It’s hard to pick yourself up, wipe the tears and snot away and get back to “my” part and let the Lord take care of “His” part. But I know that I know that is what has to be done. Sometimes I think “environment keeping” is the hardest of all. Thank you for your encouraging words! ⛵️