Saying Goodbye

…Not sure what to write tonight, but just need to say that saying goodbye is hard. Tonight we packed up my brother–he is moving to Salt Lake City, UT with his wife and newborn baby daughter. His wife and baby left earlier this week, so my parents, Jeff, Dutch and I spent the evening over at his home, cleaning and loading the U-Haul and eating deli Chinese food off paper plates. We turned up the Christmas worship music and I strapped Dutch onto my back in his carrier (he is SO heavy now!) and we sang Christmas songs and mopped and swept while Mom vacuumed and the boys loaded the truck. It was sweet. Family is sweet. Then Mom and Dad left and Kris and I made a quick trip to Fred Meyer together to get a padlock. Then said goodbye. As I turned to go, there were a million things I could have said, and there are a million things I can write right now. I’ve said them all before. He’s my hero. I love his wisdom, his humility, his quiet confidence. I love fun memories I have of college days eating Melorine 99cent non-dairy frozen dessert from Cub Foods (known to youngsters as Winco). I love fun memories of pre-marriage days, staying over at his house, eating his home-cooked dinner of meat, meat, and more meat. No veggies, no sides, no salad, no bread. Just meat. Those days were fun, but these days are better. I’m a million times happier and he’s a trillion times happier now that he’s got a beautiful wife to take care of him. But I’m still going to miss him because he’s my big brother and I love him. I’m going to miss him so much it makes my stomach get all knotted up and ache all the way up into my chest. And now I’m going to stop writing because I’m done crying and I don’t want to wake up with a migraine and eyes swollen shut, so I’m signing off. Saying goodbye is hard and I love my brother. That’s all. Goodnight.