Sacred Mundane: The Blog

What should our prayer focus be this month?

I asked Jeff this question, my fingers poised on my laptop, waiting for his response. Often, he doesn’t have strong opinions on things, but this time he had a clear answer right away:

Guidance.

Ah, yes. Guidance. We sent out the emailing inviting folks from our church family to gather and seek God together for guidance. And we let people know that if they were facing a situation where they needed God’s guidance, His direction, to let us know and we’d pray for them.

The very next morning, I was struck by the day’s Bible reading:

“Ah, stubborn children,” declares the LORD, who carry out a plan, but not mine, and who make an alliance, but not of my Spirit, that they may add sin to sin; who set out to go down to Egypt, without asking for my direction, to take refuge in the protection of Pharaoh and to seek shelter in the shadow of Egypt! … Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help and rely on horses, who trust in chariots because they are many and in horsemen because they are very strong, but do not look to the Holy One of Israel or consult the LORD! … The Egyptians are man and not God, and their horses are flesh, and not spirit.

—Isaiah 30:1-2, 31:1

In various places in those chapters it repeats again and again, Wait on the LORD. Rather than waiting on Him, they rushed ahead and took refuge in Egypt, making their own plan, trusting in what they could see instead of their God. What a warning!

This resonated deeply with me, as I had already sensed God saying to wait on Him. As I prayed through this, I kept seeing a picture of the Israelites, beside the Red Sea. God deliberately leads them into an impossible place:

“Then the LORD said to Moses, ‘Tell the people of Israel to turn back and encamp in front of Pi-hahiroth, between Migdol and the sea, in front of Baal-zephon; you shall encamp facing it, by the sea”

—Exodus 14:1-2

And in this impossible place, they wait. And we all know the story. Deliverance!

So we all resonate on one level with feeling like we’re stuck, or facing some impossible situation, and we don’t know what to do. So of course it’s easy for us to pray together in agreement!

But then … is it?

As I contemplated us all praying together, I have to admit, I had a bit of trepidation:

How do we all agree in prayer if we don’t all agree in person?

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there are a few varying perspectives on things these days. 😉 I am grateful that in our church family we have a very diverse mix of perspectives and viewpoints. While it has created a challenging past 18 months, I’m now honestly at a place where I’m grateful. I have learned a lot from people who see things differently.

But prayer can be tricky. It’s intensely personal. I remember nearly a decade ago, a gal left our church because she said our theological disagreement related to healing made it so we couldn’t pray in agreement together. I totally respect her perspective on that, and can understand how she felt. I blessed her as she found another church home.

But right now it seems there are many issues on which faithful believers disagree. At our house church recently, I sort of held my breath as we gathered in prayer, realizing that what some would see as a praise, others might see as terrible news, and vice versa.

And yet … as I sat there and watched I saw a beautiful thing unfold.

Genuine love. Unity. Comeraderie. Spirit-filled, agreement in prayer.

One person’s prayer request, I knew, ran counter to what some others would perceive as good. And yet, the others genuinely empathized, and lifted up heartfelt prayer. And it wasn’t shallow or fake, and also wasn’t what I call “yanking prayer” where we say a prayer but we’re really trying to yank the direction or focus over into what we believe is right. (Jeff jokes that pastors are great at this, “Lord, what my brother really means is that …”)

There was no yanking prayer!

I went to women’s Bible study, same thing — no yanking prayer!

We had our prayer meeting praying for direction — no yanking prayer!

And later, there was a remarkable answer to prayer, that even though one person’s perspective was perhaps different than some others, there was no doubt that God has come through in mighty ways on their behalf, and we can all rejoice over that! God knows the needs of His people!

Maybe what frees us from yanking prayer is the knowledge that God is big enough to handle all this. (FWIW: Certainly there is a place for loving confrontation, challenging people or appealing to them if we think they are in dangerous error or going astray. But group-prayer is not the place to do this.)

Here’s what I noticed: When we pray God’s Word, it’s usually not hard to be in agreement, even if we don’t agree on every current issue. If I’m lifting up a sister, regardless of whether I agree with her or not,

:: I can pray that she will be submitted to Christ in every area of life.

:: I can pray that she will know the truth.

:: I can pray that she will hear God’s voice clearly, and that God will direct her steps.

:: I can pray she will obey the Word of God and find light for her path.

:: I can pray that she will be free from fear and anxiety.

:: I can pray that she will love her neighbor as herself.

:: I can pray for God’s grace to be sufficient in her weakness.

:: I can pray she will be patient and long-suffering.

:: I can pray she will unwavering in her faith.

:: I can pray that God will provide everything she needs for life and godliness.

:: I can pray that she will open her mouth and proclaim to the good news of the gospel.

:: I can pray that as she seeks God’s kingdom first that all the things will be added to her.

:: I can pray for courage, wisdom, clarity.

:: Just as I pray for myself, I can pray she will kept from any error or deception.

:: I can pray she will have strength to resist temptation.

:: I can pray that her mind will be set on what is excellent, virtuous, and praiseworthy.

….I mean we could go on and on, right? When are are truly for people, we really won’t have a hard time thinking of lots and lots and lots and lots of great things to pray for them!

The challenge, at least for me, is when I’m overly devoted to my own perspective, I have a hard time setting it aside long enough to just pray God’s good Word over someone.

But I’m learning. I’m so incredibly grateful for my community where I get to witness godly men and women agree in prayer, even if we don’t agree on every issue. Lord, let your Kingdom come!

Next month I get to co-facilitate the Women’s Ministry Roundtable sessions at the Harbor Network Leaders’ Summit in Louisville, Kentucky. Praying and preparing for this has had me thinking back through the 20 years I’ve been leading women in various ministry roles (Oh to go back and handle some things differently!), and also looking forward and seeking a renewed vision for the small group of precious women I help serve in our local church at Renew. Tonight, we’re gathering for one last summer hurrah around the fire-pit before the rains come and we’re all completely immersed in fall activities.

This summer has been a tremendously healing time for me, especially the last month. During late August, Jeff caught a bad cold, and so he took a Covid test and we all quarantined just to be safe. He tested negative, and he felt better within a few days, but because of the lag-time for testing and results, we ended up quarantining for six days.

It was glorious. No, that’s too weak of a word. It was life-changing. Even though we observe Sabbath every week, this girl needed a weeklong Sabbath and that’s exactly what I got. I actually extended it to 8 days just because I could. 😉

During those 8 days I still had four kids and a husband, I still had meals to cook and a house to clean. But there was time, stillness, hours and hours to sit by the creek, or lie on the couch and read Dune so I could converse with my Dune-obsessed son. Nerd that I am, I indulged in the incredibly satisfying activity of organizing all our books, cleaning closets, inventorying pantries. It was THE BEST.

But during those quiet days God was able to rewire some things in my heart and mind.

Right after that, I read The Visitation. Our son Dutch had been hounding Jeff and me for awhile, “You guys GOTTA read this book. Just read it!” He’d pick it up and put it on my lap if he saw me doing nothing. I had just finished Dune‘s 620 pages and I wasn’t quite ready to pick up the hefty Visitation comin’ in at 519 pages. Who has time for this?

One chapter in I knew exactly why he wanted us to read it. Without spoiling anything, the main character is a 45-year old pastor who quit the ministry because of all the heartache and pain he experienced. I would read and re-read paragraphs thinking, “That’s exactly how I feel.” The book explores some of the ways we inadvertently put expectations on God, how we mis-direct our hope, how we get so caught up in the “stuff” of church that we miss the goodness of God. It’s so, so good.

What does this have to do with vision for women’s ministry?

In The Visitation, part of the healing process for the pastor was when someone prompted him, “Give me some names.” He’s confused, asks for clarification, and the friend says, “Who are some of the people you’ve seen God work in and through.” He begins telling stories. Nothing spectacular. But they are evidences of grace. You can clearly see the goodness and power and mercy of God has he recounts simple stories of ordinary people.

Not events. Not spectacular experiences. Not “success.”

Through people. Like, ones with names.

Also this summer, I stumbled upon a tiny book (hooray for SHORT books) coming in at less than 100 pages. Eugene Peterson’s The Wisdom of Each Other. Wow. So, so good. And that is where the vision became clear, where all the loose ends of this year wove together to make a picture of what God invites us into as his children:

Friends.

My grand vision for women’s ministry in 2021: That we would be FRIENDS.

“No longer do I call you servants … but I have called you friends.”

-Jesus (John 15:15)

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

-Jesus (John 15:13)

Friends of God. Friends of each other.

That’s my vision. That’s my hope. In Peterson’s book, he highlights the importance of these spiritual friendships:

I was in a conversation recently with a group of friends and mentioned a chance encounter with an odd stranger in which I thought I had heard echoes of the Gospel. It had moved me deeply. One of my friends interrupted, “That sounds good, but I’d like a text for it. Where does the Bible actually say that?” I couldn’t come up with a text on the spot. Conversation stopped. A prayerful conversation was trashed because I was not conducting my part in it with the documentation proper to a Bible study leader.

This happens a lot. And so an entire world of “counsel” between friends is eliminated. Spiritual counsel, easy prayerful conversation between companions engaged in a common task, is less and less frequent. But when Jesus designated his disciples “friends” in that last extended conversation he had with them, he introduced a term that encouraged the continuing of the conversation. “Friend” sets us in a nonhierarchical, open, informal, spontaneous company of Jesus-friends, who verbally develop relationships of responsibility and intimacy by means of conversation. Characteristically, we do not make pronouncements to one another or look up texts by which to challenge one another; we simply talk out whatever feelings or thoughts are in our hearts as Jesus’ friends.

Often today we speak of wanting to see a Spiritual Director, or be Discipled in a formal setting. But as I’ve written about before, the most impactful kind of discipleship or spiritual-direction relationship I have ever experienced was with a women who insisted that we simply be “friends.”

Peterson’s book takes the form of a series of letters between friends. As he responds to his friend, he writes:

You seem disappointed that I am not more responsive to your interest in “spiritual direction.” Actually, I am more than a little ambivalent about the term, particularly in the ways it is being used so loosely without any sense or knowledge of the church’s traditions in these matters.

If by spiritual direction you mean the entering into a friendship with another person in which an awareness and responsiveness to God’s Spirit in the everydayness of your life is cultivated, fine. But then why haul in an awkward term like “spiritual direction”? Why not just “friend”?

Spiritual direction strikes me as pretentious in these circumstances, as if there were some expertise that can be acquired more or less on its own and then dispensed on demand.

The other reason for my lack of enthusiasm is my well-founded fear of professionalism in any and all matters of the Christian life….

Instead, why don’t you look over the congregation on Sundays and pick someone who appears to be mature and congenial. Ask her or him if you can meet together every month or so–you feel the need to talk about your life in the company of someone who believes that Jesus is present and active in everything you are doing. Reassure the person that he or she doesn’t have to say anything “wise.” You only want them to be there for you to listen and be prayerful in the listening. …

I’ve had a number of men and women who have served me this way over the years … when I moved to Canada a few years ago and had to leave a long-term relationship of this sort, I looked around for someone whom I could be with in this way. I picked a man whom I knew to be a person of integrity and prayer, with seasoned Christian wisdom in his bones. I anticipated he would disqualify himself so I pre-composed my rebuttal: “All I want you to do is two things: show up and shut up. Can you do that? Meet with me every six weeks or so, and just be there–an honest, prayerful presence with no responsibility to be anything other than what you have become in your obedient lifetime.” And it worked. If that is what you mean by “spiritual director,” okay. But I still prefer “friend.”

You can see now from my comments that my gut feeling is that the most mature and reliable Christian guidance and understanding comes out of the most immediate and local settings. The ordinary way. We have to break this cultural habit of sending out for an expert every time we feel we need some assistance. Wisdom is not a matter of expertise.”

I honestly believe that what this world needs most is simple and twofold: Friendship with God, and friendship with each other. First and foremost, we need to be reconciled with our Creator-Savior and enter into a living, abiding friendship with Him. And then, we need friendship with each other. That’s my prayer for this year.