Battling Impatience
Literally every battle that we face in our Christian walk is a battle against unbelief. Every battle against unbelief is an attack on our faith in God, which is an attack on His character. The oldest temptation in the world is the temptation to believe this lie: “God is not good. God is keeping something from you that is good. God doesn’t want you to have the best. God is not God.” When Adam and Even sinned in the garden, they believed this lie. They believed that God was somehow keeping them from something good.
And so it is today. We know that. When we struggle with impatience we are struggling with believing God is good, that He’s God, and that He is in control of every situation and will use it for our good and His glory. This is true whether we’re stuck behind a slow car or dealing with dashed dreams. When we can finally grasp this, and daily learn to walk in it, we will find ourselves patient people.
I was feeling very content. Surprisingly content. For the first few months of living with Mom and Dad I had really been struggling (even though they are wonderful), but I’d begun to sense God bringing me contentment and joy, and I was praising Him for that. Then, three temptations came. Now, please, hear me in this: None of these things were bad. We were actually blessed that they arose, because they encouraged us in our calling and our future. But, they still posed a temptation for us. First, Jeff was asked by a pastor friend to consider becoming their new associate pastor in a nearby town. What an honor! Second, Jeff was asked by another person to consider becoming their new associate pastor in the town we just moved from, where we still own a house, still have friends, etc. Double honor! Third, my dream house, the one I’ve been secretly eyeing for four months, is being offered this weekend only for $40,000 under its market value. This was, mind you, the very day after Jeff had made the off-handed comment about that very home: “That’s a great deal; I say if it drops some ridiculous amount, say, $40,000 then we buy it!” My eyeballs about fell out of my head when I saw the advertisement the next day. All three of these things screamed at us–“Come! This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! If you don’t do this now you’ll never have these opportunities again! Act now!” Our dreams–becoming a pastor (paid!) and having the home of our dreams, seemed right within our grasp.
Jesus battled three temptations as well, as He was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, fasting for forty days (Matt 4). His three came directly from Satan, tempting Him to use His divine power to usurp God the Father and do His own thing, taking control of the situation rather than yielding humbly to the Sovereign will of God and the purpose for which He was sent. He refused to do this. Instead, He used the Word of God to rebuke Satan. He stayed the course. At any time, Jesus could have called down fire from heaven to consume his enemies, He could have changed the course of events so that He wouldn’t have to go to the cross, He could have fled from the painful fate that awaited Him at Calvary. But He stayed the course. Essentially, He was patient. And how could He be? Because His gaze was fixed on something far greater than the “momentary trials” He endured on earth, even though they were far more ghastly than anything we will ever experience. Because He had His eye on His purpose, He stayed the course.
While I was contemplating these three things our life, I read these word’s of Jesus during my quiet time, “Therefore My Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it again. No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This command I have received from My Father” (John 10:17-18; emphasis mine). Jesus, by his own free will stayed the course, obeying the will of the Father and laying down His life. I am not Jesus, I recognize that. But in the same way, we have the power, by our God-given free will, to determine whether we will lay down our life and stay the course God has for us. Yes, probably we will end up someday with a home and Jeff will (God willing!) probably end up teaching God’s Word as a pastor somewhere. But, to get to that end before God’s appointed time is to succumb to impatience and short-circuit the work that God is doing in us. So, we decided . . . to wait.
“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-4
Why Write? Why Read?
This weekend at the Writer’s Conference I attended, one of the questions we were asked was, “Why do you write?” They encouraged us to understand our mission statement, our purpose, in order to propel our work forward by a central driving vision. So, I’ve been thinking about this. And, you’d think I’d write down why I write, huh? Well, eventually I will. Right now, here are thoughts from John Piper on reading and writing (given to me by my ever-encouraging husband), to which I would give a hearty “Amen!” I pray we all will ripple throughout this world!
—
I’ve been thinking again about the importance of reading and writing. There
are several reasons I write. One of the most personally compelling is that I
read. I mean, my main spiritual sustenance comes by the Holy Spirit from
reading. Therefore reading is more important to me than eating. If I went
blind, I would pay to have someone read to me. I would try to learn Braille.
I would buy “books on tape.” I would rather go without food than go
without books. Therefore, writing feels very lifegiving to me, since I get so
much of my own life from reading.
Combine this with what Paul says in Ephesians 3:3-4, “By revelation there
was made known to me the mystery, as I wrote before in brief. And by
referring to this, when you read you can understand my insight into the
mystery of Christ.” The early church was established by apostolic writing as
well as apostolic preaching. God chose to send his living Word into the
world for 30 years, and his written Word into the world for 2000+ years.
Think of the assumption behind this divine decision. People in each
generation would be dependent on those who read. Some people, if not all,
would have to learn to read—and read well, in order to be faithful to God.
So it has been for thousands of years. Generation after generation has read
the insights of its writers. This is why fresh statements of old truth are
always needed. Without them people will read error. Daniel Webster once
said,
If religious books are not widely circulated among the masses
in this country, I do not know what is going to become of us
as a nation. If truth be not diffused, error will be; if God and
His Word are not known and received, the devil and his works
will gain the ascendancy; if the evangelical volume does not
reach every hamlet, the pages of a corrupt and licentious
literature will.1
Millions of people are going to read. If they don’t read contemporary
Christian books, they are going to read contemporary secular books. They
will read. It is amazing to watch people in the airports. At any given
moment there must be hundreds of thousands of people reading just in
airports. One of the things we Christians need to be committed to, besides
reading, is giving away solid books to those who might read them, but
would never buy them.
The ripple effect is incalculable. Consider this illustration:
A book by Richard Sibbes, one of the choicest of the Puritan
writers, was read by Richard Baxter, who was greatly blessed
by it. Baxter then wrote his Call to the Unconverted which
deeply influenced Philip Doddridge, who in turn wrote The
Rise and Progress of Religion in the Soul. This brought the
young William Wilberforce, subsequent English statesman and
foe of slavery, to serious thoughts of eternity. Wilberforce
wrote his Practical Book of Christianity which fired the soul of
Leigh Richmond. Richmond, in turn, wrote The Dairyman’s
Daughter, a book that brought thousands to the Lord, helping
Thomas Chalmers the great preacher, among others.2
It seems to me that in a literate culture like ours, where most of us know
how to read and where books are available, the Biblical mandate is: keep on
reading what will open the Holy Scriptures to you more and more. And
keep praying for Bible-saturated writers. There are many great old books to
read. But each new generation needs its own writers to make the message
fresh. Read and pray. And then obey.
Pastor John
Grace for Today
Motherhood can be discouraging. I just spent 1 1/2 hours rocking Dutch trying to get him to sleep and finally gave up and now he is just in his crib crying. Jeff is gone at class from 7:45am this morning until 9:30pm tonight. I am staring around me at the toys strewn around the living room that is not mine. Mom and Dad are gone to Montana for a week. It is a beautiful day and I want to go for a walk or a run or do something other than sit here out in the boonies listening to my son cry on the monitor.
But there is grace for today. Many of you who know me know that I want to write a book entitled The Sacredness of the Mundane, essentially about glorifying God and finding meaning and purpose in every detail of life. This is certainly not a new concept. Brother Lawrence practiced the presence of God, AW Tozer disdained the sacred-secular duality, and John Piper celebrates drinking orange juice to the glory of God. But I want to devote an entire book to it, from a woman’s perspective, with a fresh new twist for today.
So what is sacred in my situation right now, as I sit, listening to the rustling of Dutch on the monitor as he’s finally settling himself down to sleep (or he’s just standing up in his crib playing quietly — at this point I don’t care which it is)? Well, first of all, I can rejoice because I know that God is on the throne. He is in control of my circumstances, and, because everything in my life has been God-filtered, it is for my good. So, instead of feeling trapped by living out here at Mom & Dad’s house, I can thank God because He’s decided, in His infinite goodness, that somehow it is better for my sanctification (the process of being like Christ), that I be out here. Besides, I look out the window at natural beauty–sunlight, blue sky, trees, orange and brown and yellow leaves, sparkles of water droplets on the still-green grass of fall.
Jeff is gone all day, which makes me sad, but I can recognize this as an opportunity to spend extra time with the Lord and writing, since I won’t be spending time making dinner. I also praise God because Jeff is away studying God’s Word! Praise God that I have a husband who loves and enjoys and knows God more than he loves and enjoys and knows anything else in life. Praise God for that!
Because I was desperate to get out of the house, I drove Dutch in the Molalla park, where we swung and toddled around on the grass. While I was there, I ran into two girls from High School. I didn’t know them well, as they were several years younger than me, but we recognized each other and shared the commonality of little ones, and were able to talk, as we are all believers, about the things God’s done in our lives the past 10 years. I also exchanged phone numbers with one girl, so we can meet at the park more often. That is huge! If I didn’t live out here in the middle of nowhere, and if I hadn’t felt trapped and alone with Jeff gone, I never would have driven all the way into the park. But I went, and they were there, and God was in that encounter.
. . . now it is much later in the day and Dutch has finally fallen asleep. Thank You, God. I recognize this blog entry isn’t very profound–just some thoughts throughout a somewhat taxing day. But now, the house is quiet, Dutch is asleep, Jeff is still at school, and I am alone, sweetly, deliciously alone to enjoy some sacred moments . . .
Write Your Villain
Yesterday I had the joy of attending the Fall Oregon Christian Writers’ Conference all day. Jeff made it possible, by first insisting that I go, and then by taking care of Dutch all day, even driving into Portland during my lunch break so I could nurse him. What a husband! It was so worth the time and expense of attending. Randy Ingermanson was the key speaker, a physicist turned fiction writer. During the afternoon I attended his workshop on Fiction: Writing Deep Characters. One of the exercises he uses, in order to develop characters that are real, believable, and consistent throughout the story, is journaling from that character’s perspective. He pointed out that we must get into our character’s minds, know their personalities, how they respond to other people, conflict, criticism, success. We have to know them so well that we know exactlyhow that character will respond in any given situation. He insisted that we even need to do this with our “villain” — if the story has such a character (which most stories do, we just wouldn’t be so bold as to name them that). He explained that the villain does not think he is the villain! He thinks he is the hero! Of course he does–no one thinks they are the villains of anything. So, in order to understand that character, and make them more than a two-dimensional meanie, we must write a page of a journal entry, as if we were that person, writing the story line from their perspective. Even though this work isn’t something to include in the actual story, it gives us, the writer, the opportunity to see why the villain will do what he does.
So, what’s the big deal, Kari? Why include this on your blog? Because I think we all need to write our villain. Of course we may not have an arch-nemesis, but there may be a person who hurts us or annoys us or just seems to be standing in our way. Yes, this is really just a more labor-intensive way of saying “Well, I’m sure they must think . . . ” and forcing ourselves to see their perspective, but when we do that, we’re really just going through the motions, it’s rarely that we ever truly convince ourselves of someone else’s perspective. So, by actually writing out a situation, from his or her point of view, as if they were writing it themselves, we may surprise ourselves, and wind up loving people and understanding people a whole lot more than we ever thought we could.
Let’s write our villains.
Understanding is a fountain of life to those who have it . . . Prov. 16:22