Sacred Mundane: The Blog

“Mama, are you overwhelmed?”

It was Justice who asked, looking up at me inquiringly, his little mouth carefully pronouncing the word he’d clearly heard before.

I smiled down at him, “No sweetie, I’m happy.”

And I was. But I knew why he was asking it. I had been overwhelmed. Way overwhelmed. And through over the course of a few weeks, the Lord was showing me how subtle this temptation of overwhelm really was.

Temptation? Overwhelm is not a temptation. Temptations are things like sex and second pieces of cake. Right?

Sometimes. But sometimes our temptations are so much more subtle than that.

It started on our drive up to Spokane. Leaving my family to go away and speak for a weekend is at lot of work. It’s a lot of work to prepare to speak, and it’s a lot of work to prepare my family with everything they need for me to be gone. But this time my family came with me and I discovered the only thing that’s more work than leaving them at home to go speak is bringing them with me to go speak. 😉 I quickly became grumpy and frustrated, and my thoughts, most-certainly not taken-captive, began to run amok something like this:

I’m never doing this again. It’s impossible, this is way too much work to do all of this, I just can’t do this anymore. I’ll let people know when we get back that I’m not going to be speaking anymore.

Ha. Of course even as my thoughts went there, I thought of the wise saying from a woman who has endured more hardship than I can imagine:

Don’t decide to give up running while going up a hill.

Of course.

Last week Dutch had a hard cross-country race. I was worried that he was injured, his form was odd and he didn’t have his usual grin. Gratefully, it was just a hard race. It was hot. It was smoky. He’d had a harder-than-usual training week and he was just plain tired.

But within a minute or two he had his breath, was feeling good, and back to his usual smiling self.

Turns out it was just one hard race. Turns out he’s only 4 weeks into running this much and he could really use more training. Of course.

Can you imagine if, at about 4K into that hot and smoky race he stopped and said, “You know, I don’t think cross-country is for me. This just isn’t my sport. Turns out it’s not as fun as I thought. I’ll go ahead and just let the coach know that I’m done for the season.”

Of course not.

Ok, so what does this have to do with overwhelm?

Overwhelm is the first step toward quitting. It’s a form of mental quitting. Instead of saying, “Wow this is harder than I thought. I’m going to need _______________ (stamina, new strategies, patience, more sleep, etc.). I wonder what steps I can take to be more prepared for this,” it’s telling yourself, “This is too hard, this is ridiculous, no one should have to do this.”

Now of course one caveat: It could be that you’re not called to do the thing. Dutch did piano and baseball as well in years past. He gave it a year or two, and it truly wasn’t his thing. Great. Move on.

But most of the time I’m overwhelmed by things I really am called to do, I just need more training.

Back to temptation.

It’s a temptation to let yourself take that mental step into quitting. It’s a cop-out. It’s a way to blame circumstances which completely robs us of our opportunities to grow.

If Dutch quit he’d never become a faster runner.

If I just quit speaking or homeschooling or whatever God is calling me to do, I’ll never walk in the good works God prepared for me in advance (Eph. 2:10).

I just sent Dutch off to practice with his two water bottles and peanut butter pretzels. He’s learning his rhythm, and I am too. I’m learning that I can’t plan things that take me away from the kids during the days we’re doing school. I’m learning that dinner-prep really needs to be done in the morning. I’m learning a nightly house-reset makes mornings so much better. I’m learning a 4pm snack for the littles goes a long way in keeping us all sane during that difficult pre-dinner window.

Instead of giving in to the temptation to overwhelm, instead of the mental throwing-up-of-the-hands and saying “This is too hard,” I’m trying a deep breath and asking, “What do I need in order to manage this better?”

Shall we try it together?

A friend of mine posted this CS Lewis quote and I knew it was the answer to my prayer:

“Courage is the form of every virtue at the testing point.”

It sounded so much like another CS Lewis quote that I had to read it a second time to be sure it wasn’t the same one. The other one, the one I’d carried close to my heart for years was,

“Humility isn’t so much another virtue along with the others, it is soil out of which all the graces grow.” 

We can’t truly love unless we have humility enough to esteem another better than ourselves. We can’t be faithful unless we have the humility to put ourselves aside in order to remain faithful in a job, friendship, ministry. We can’t be kind, joyful, good, we certainly can’t have self-control, without humility. It is the soil out of which all the graces grow.

But what is this bit about courage? Something resonated deeply about this idea. Yes, it is the form every virtue takes at the testing point. 

So if I cultivate humility, I seek to esteem others higher than myself, I seek to love. At some point this love will be tested. At the risk of sounding dramatic, I’d even say tested to the point that to truly love through the test feels agonizing, too painful.

Or take another virtue. To be faithful when the cost to yourself is staggeringly high … humility cultivates the growing fruit, then courage must come along to bring that faithfulness forth into fruition. 

Courage strengthens the heart of the mother who pushes through the agony of childbirth to bring forth that beautiful child. 

Courage keeps you loving even when you’re guaranteed pain. Courage keeps you moving forward in good works, even when some level of failure is inevitable. 

Last week it felt a bit like every day brought another unforeseen challenge. Often we take these things in stride, right? But sometimes we experience that slow leak of joy. I sat with the Lord a bit and tried to put my finger on what I was feeling. Defeated. That was the word.

I just feel defeated, Lord. It feels like every attempt at anything goes awry. 

I’m so grateful for people who share the Good News in various forms on social media. CS Lewis loud and clear right there in my feed and I knew it was what I needed:

Courage. Of course. All these virtues, the ones I want, the ones I pray for, all of these virtues, at the testing point, come down to courage. Courage to apologize. Courage to have the hard conversation. Courage to say yes even when you don’t how it’ll work. Courage to say no even if means disappointing someone. Courage to be honest. Courage to deny the constant cravings of self and make Kingdom choices instead. 

Last week Dutch ran his first cross-country race. He’s never done anything like this before, and I was so proud of him, a homeschool kids, joining our local high school team. He ran so well! It was all I could do not to just gush happy tears as I watched him with his team, so happy and confident and strong and kind and brave. This is the kid who was so anxious about playing baseball that he ran away and hid in our shop on game day. This is the kid who couldn’t even go to Costco because he was so overwhelmed by people. 

There he went, Courage on two long legs, striding past me across the finish line. More than getting any certain race time, I was proud of him because I knew that this represented so many courageous choices. Regular, repeated decisions to choose humility and courage.

I’m trying to do the same. 

Have you ever had someone come completely unglued at you? It’s unsettling, yes? It’s unnerving when something seemingly small evokes a response in someone (directed at you) that is so incredibly out of proportion you’re left a little dizzied.

What just happened?

Of course we know what just happened: The thing isn’t the thing. Usually when I’m upset, it’s about so much more than just that last-straw issue. There’s a whole flood beneath the surface.

Without Christ my life would be one long freak-out.

That’s my testimony. Truly! I cannot imagine attempting to navigate the griefs, frustrations, offenses, hurts, disappointments of this life without THE ANCHOR of my soul. Not to mention that whole “headed for eternal torment” bit, even in THIS LIFE I’d be doomed without Jesus. Yes?

Recently a situation arose that was so bewildering I could feel all that hands-shaking, heart-racing, I-want-to-cry kind of thing going on. Before heading into a meeting, I knew I needed God’s Word. I need God. I needed His truth to align my heart with what is true. Heidi took the littles and I sat down at the kitchen counter with the Scripture. And it just so happened (ha!) that this was my next Psalm to read:

Woe to me, that I sojourn in Meschech, that I dwell among the tents of Kedar! Too long have I had my dwelling among those who hate peace. I am for peace, but when I speak, they are for war!

Psalm 120:5-7

Now that might seem odd to you but I was in jaw-drop awe because of the exact similarity to our situation. I can’t think of any other Scripture in all of God’s Word that was more applicable to our circumstance or to how I felt! So not only did it instantly comfort my heart that God sees and knows, it also helped me know what our course of action was to be:

PEACE.

I am for peace.

That was to be my banner. That was to be my aim, my goal, the purpose of my words, my demeanor.

PEACE.

I walked out the front door and literally put one foot in front of the other. Jeff and I walked hand in hand and in the course of events we saw God go before us in incredible ways and lay out a road of peace. He showed us His favor. He covered our failings and weakness. He was kind to us.

And at the end of the conversation, one of the people involved (a stranger to us) recognized me from a church 35 years ago, where I grew up. The conversation quickly turned to the fact that we were Christ-followers and you better believe I was SO GRATEFUL I hadn’t gone out there and acted like a jerk! 😉 Whew! Close call! 😉 Relief beyond belief!

We walked back to the house praising God for His kindness. Just moments before I had been on the brink of freaking out, but God and His word once again anchored my heart, my thoughts, my emotions.

Thank you, Jesus for constantly saving our souls.

As I type this we’re 8,331 miles into our road trip — near the end! We’re on a long driving day through Montana, and at the moment everyone is fed and contented so figured I’d share a few details about this trip. A few of you had asked for this as you plan your own family road trips, so here we go! Obviously this is unique to us and your own family will have different priorities, but maybe something of this can be helpful. Just ignore what doesn’t apply.

How it began:: The idea for this trip percolated during a 800-mile road trip to Utah to visit my brother. We used to road trip a lot when our big kids were little, but with four kids now and no comfortable vehicle that fit us all, it just all felt overwhelming. For our Utah trip we had borrowed my Dad’s minivan that he used to transport my mom. While we were driving to Utah he called and said he wanted us to keep it, that we could trade straight across for our other car. I protested because I knew the van was perfect for him taking mom places. He insisted. Little did I know that my mom would never get in a vehicle again … she passed away just a month later. I know she’d be happy knowing her car is being well-used to transport her grandkids.

Minivan:: Having a minivan was a game-changer for us. We now had a vehicle we could all fit in comfortably. The Utah road trip went so well that on our return trip we started dreaming. I’d always wanted to take the kids on a cross-country road trip, but it seemed way unattainable. But now just maybe …

Sabbatical:: Also at this time we’d been praying about the possibility of Jeff taking a Sabbatical of some sort. We’ve been at Renew for 10 years, and especially with the intensity of the last 2 years, we were really praying we could get some time away. 

So, these ideas converged at the same time that a mini-van plopped in our lap. At a gas station on our way home from Utah Jeff bought me a US Road Atlas and told me start dreaming.

Process:: I started with the biggies: What spots/people do we KNOW we want to see? Florida was a must. We’d never been there as a family, and Jeff’s brother and his family recently moved there. Washington DC was the other biggie as we’d never been there, and I really wanted the big kids to go there.

Paring down:: Our original itinerary included the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone as well, but it was just too much to try to pack into 6 weeks. We wanted to have some rest time in Florida to just BE and play as a family. We knew that both Yellowstone and the Grand Canyon are easily drivable from home, so we could do those another year. So we prioritized things farther East.

Same with people: We prioritized friends in Tennessee, Georgia, and Florida, knowing we probably won’t be over that far again. 

Priorities:: As I mentioned here, our priorities were: Educational, Relational, Economical. We wanted to pick education spots, we wanted to visit people we love, and we knew we needed to make it economical if it really was to happen.

Lodging:: We decided to do a mix of staying with friends/family, hotels for 1-night stays, and AirBnBs for longer stays. I started by booking the AirBnBs for our longer stays, and picked ones that had full refunds for cancellation, since I figured plans would change as time got closer (and they did!). The AirBnB app was super helpful. I didn’t book any of the hotels until we got within a week of being in a spot. I also used the Hotel app, which has a stamp rewards program, and they had a promotion with double stamps during certain dates, so we were able to get our 8th hotel night for free. 

Our AirBnBs were a mixed bag. Two were great, one was medium, two were not so great. But all in all they were fine, the beds were comfy and the homes were clean.

Food:: A 6-week trip is a HUGE financial expenditure. The biggest way we kept the trip on a budget was by not eating out. We got In-n-Out burger once and Braum’s burgers once but other than that we never ate out during our 40 days on the road. I’ll admit, it took a ton of effort and wasn’t convenient. I’m glad we did it, but it’s a commitment. I packed two big Costco totes full of food, some for making meals in homes, and some for easy meals on the road. 

Our favorite food items:: Orgain protein powder (made a shake every single morning), SafeCatch tuna with ring-pull lids (GREAT for in the car, just dump on a salad or eat plain or mix with mayo for tuna salad sandwiches or mix with rice/quinoa packet for a dinner and it’s 35-50 grams of protein), Rice/quinoa packets from Costco, grass-fed beef sticks from Costco, tons of granola, nut bars, crackers and dried fruit. Oh, and I brought lots of Via coffee packets I could just add to water or to weak hotel coffee to make it strong. I also brought a small container of our local honey and kept a small pint of cream with us so I could have a yummy coffee drink each morning without having to buy anything. 

Anytime we stopped at a store I’d grab cuties (oranges), bananas, greens, carrots, and bottled water. 

What I wish I’d packed more of:: Paper towels, baby wipes, and non-refrigerated peanut butter. I bought those things on the road, but there’s basically no way to have too much of these items.

Other helpful items: 

Antibac wipes: I brought a bunch of travel packs of Clorox antibacterial wipes for hands and surfaces. Super super helpful to just have a pack in my purse, one in the stroller, one in the glove box, etc. at the ready. 

Blender: I also brought a Hamilton Beach travel blender (SO helpful! It’s surprising how many AirBnBs don’t have blenders, plus I could use it in the hotel each morning). If you like smoothies or protein shakes it’s super helpful. 

Food Warmer: We also got a travel food warmer. It plugs into the 12V car plug, and warms up whatever’s in it! A large sized Snapware container fits perfectly inside it. I put leftovers, sausages, rice and tune, chicken pockets, anything we wanted to eat warm, just stick in and in a few hours it’s hot! 

Picnic blanket:: A friend bought me a Pendleton picnic blanket that was SO great to have. It folds and zips right up into itself with a little pocket and a strap so you can carry it over your shoulder. And the material is slick so sad just brushes right off, super easy to wash. It was GREAT to have with us. So many easy picnics anywhere we were. We used it everywhere from Key Largo to Washington DC to Lake Michigan. 

Blackout curtain/pack ’n play blackout:: I brought a blackout curtain and some tacks with us which was super helpful for darkening rooms where the little boys were sleeping. Then halfway through the trip I bought a pack n play blackout tent thing that REALLY helped, especially in places where we all needed to sleep in the same room. 

Also:: Because of our kids we also brought two life-jackets and bike helmets for the littles, since we were around pools so often and wanted to be able to bike with them. Oh, and we brought a TykeToter bike seat that attaches to any regular adult bike. This made it so we could just rent a bike with a baby seat (for Ben) and stick Justice on as well. 

Overall thoughts:  Really, six weeks is a minimum for doing a road trip this length. There were a lot of things we didn’t do just because it was such a quick trip through each place. For us this was great. We had three full days (4 nights) in DC and we could’ve spent longer but we were ready to move on by day 4. It would’ve been fun to explore more in certain states, but for us this was just a little taste of America. It worked well for our timeframe and the ages of our kids. 

Wish I would’ve… I could’ve done a better job of educating ahead of time on things we were going to see. I would have loved to have the kids read certain books about some of the places we saw, or listen to information about them or watch documentaries. I love the idea of all that. In truth I was just trying to keep everyone fed and alive 😉 and with two little ones that was all I could do. If I only had older kids we could’ve dived deeper into history and information on each place. Hopefully we whet the kids’ appetites and gave them some hooks in their memories so that when they hear or learn more about something later, they have some experience with it already. 

One small example, when we showed up at Mt Rushmore, Justice immediately recognized President Lincoln’s face, because we had seen it at the Lincoln Memorial. A super small thing, but it was fun to see that he at least recognized something from what we’d seen and talked about together. 

Hard:: Of course being together for 40 days straight with no break, sleeping all six of us in one room for a good portion of the time, and being in unfamiliar and uncomfortable environments a lot of the time … well, it brings things out in us. We had a lot of moments where we all felt exhausted or overwhelmed. I had plenty of moments where I said, “What??” sharply after being asked, “Mama can you …?” for the ten thousandth time in the car. The babies woke up early every morning and the time changes were particularly rough on them, so there was a lot of missed sleep and a lot of Mama being really tired. 

But good:: I am so glad we did it. We LOVED seeing our family and friends, we LOVED seeing 25 states (!) And traveling 10,000 miles to see our beautiful nation with our own eyes. We decided we’ll have to do it again in 12 years when the littles are the age of our big kids and maybe Dutch & Heidi can meet up with us and bring their spouses along. 😉 

Finally, our route:: Here it is! 

Now we’re dreaming up doing a Western National Parks trip with our travel trailer. Any ideas for a trip like that? I’d love to hear from you!