Sacred Mundane: The Blog

I paused, considering, then answered:

“Sure, I think going fishing sounds great and I’d love to go with you. We can do that after dinner, once we get our stuff put away.”

The child let out a little sigh,

“No, that’s ok. I don’t want to go fishing later. I only want to go right now.”

I smiled. I know that attitude. It’s the same I often sport, the same one a different child had donned just moments ago when she sighed about the dinner menu. She had hoped for bean burritos, not chicken legs.

Downcast face. *sigh*

I smiled, and told them I had a secret to share with them. A secret that would serve them well all their days if they’d remember it. They leaned in a little, a bit skeptical, but willing to listen.

I held my hands up in front of me, palms closed together like a prayer posture, then separated them about 4 inches apart.

“See this sliver here, between my hands. This narrow space between my palms represents all the things that are exactly as we want them to be. This is getting to fish at precisely the moment we have the urge, this is the meal we most want, this is the game I want to play, the plans I want to keep, the way I want it to go. This represents the circumstances I must have in order to be happy.

When I have high preferences, picky tastes, particular wants, I narrow down this slice of life with which I can be happy. My joy becomes very narrow. Every time I narrow in on what I want, I exclude more and more of life that I’ll be eligible to enjoy. Pretty soon, there isn’t much left. That’s narrow joy.

They were listening. Then I slowly widened my hands, out, out, out, until my arms were stretched wide, as far as I could reach, palms no longer facing inward, but stretched out, like a giant embrace of life. I smiled into their faces.

THIS is what happens when we let go of our high preferences, our picky tastes, our particular wants. This is what happens when we say, “Well, this isn’t my favorite food, but I’m so glad I get to eat. It’ll do just fine.” When we say, “Well, I’d love to this activity now, but I’m grateful I’ll get to do it at all.” When we say, “That’s not the way I’d like it done, but I’m grateful we get to do it together, and it’s better than being alone.”

This is what happens when we decide that no matter what way it happens, we’ll be grateful. We’ll make do. This makes all of life eligible as a source of joy. This means circumstances can vary widely without depleting our joy. This is WIDE JOY.

They understood. And so did I. And we munched our meal with gladness, and fished ’til past bedtime, and we will continue to pursue wide joy with all our hearts.

{Thanks for reading. Originally shared 7/15/2017, now these Littles are Bigs and I’m teaching these lessons to a new set of Littles 😉 }

“I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.”

Philippians 4:12

Wow, it’s almost noon already. I saw the other person heart my message so I added another log to the fire, put Dutch’s clean laundry on the stairs, and headed to the kitchen to heat up leftover tortilla soup for lunch.

The morning’s conversations still floated through my head. Of course I wondered some if I said some things right, wished I’d maybe added this or that, but for the most part I had a clear sense of time well-spent. Yeah, it was the better part of two hours. But people were counseled, Scripture was shared, prayers were prayed, confusion was cleared, hope was (I think) instilled, and faith was (I hope) fanned just a bit into flame.

I didn’t have a lot to show for it, visibly, but it was a worthwhile investment.

As I shared here, I’ve been praying about what this next season would hold. Though my schedule opened up quite a bit, I was hesitant to automatically add anything else in, sensing the need to just wait. Rest, pray, consider, be.

And today it became so clear: I guess my job in this season is simply to be an Available Person.

I was on a trip this past year that took an interesting turn. I had no official job or role on the trip, and I sensed, even as I prepared to go, that my role was to be an unofficial come-alongside-person.

In short, I wanted to Be Available. I wanted to be available to pray, to listen, to counsel, to help.

And the only real way to be that is NOT to be too much of anything else.

Those who are in full-time official positions of work or leadership have an important role to fill. They are able to be in certain circles and decision-making situations, and that’s awesome. We need them! And sometimes I’m in those roles, as a speaker or what not. But the people in those roles can’t always be an Available Person. They’re busy. They’re official. They’re not there to pray with you or notice if you’re sad. They’re not there to run an errand for you or text you Scripture when you’re struggling.

During this trip, I found nearly every hour of every day filled with relational needs of some capacity or another. I came home tired but also so very grateful and with a sense of satisfaction.

I did my job. I was an Available Person.

These days I am realizing that Available Person is what I’m called to be. For my kids first and foremost (between teens and tikes there are almost constant conversations and teachable moments taking place all day long!). But also for others. And I know I’m not alone. Even today several messages have been from a couple other friends who are Available People, constantly available to so many for counsel, encouragement, prayer, practical help. They are available to care for other children, counsel, pray, provide meals, care for aging parents, listen to their own children, run errands.

My dear friend Anne is my first and foremost Available Person. For 12 years she has just constantly been available to me — to text, to pray, to listen, to bring me meals. Right after Mom died, when I was sick with Covid and couldn’t get out of bed and also trying to care for a baby, she came over and folded all my laundry. Yes, this is friendship, but it’s more than that:

It’s availability. It reminds me of Prov. 27:10, “Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother who is far away.”

Why would a close-by person be better?

They’re available.

The other day I was listening to a man who was wishing he could help others more, and therefore was trying to think of a way to start a ministry to help. That might be totally awesome (and I’ll encourage him if he does!) but I also was saying, Just be an Available Person.

Often the greatest ministry isn’t an official ministry at all.

It is the ministry of being an Available Person who lets the life, love, and truth of God flow through their lives.

One of Heidi’s go-to lovely people is her vocal teacher. Yes, she has an official role in Heidi’s life that we pay her to do, but her influence outside vocal coaching has proven to be even more valuable. Her role in Heidi’s life as an Available Person is what has truly proven life-changing for Heidi.

If we do have an official job, let us always be aware that our unofficial influence may prove of far greater value than whatever the official role is we play in someone’s life.

Go geek with me for a minute and consider that that’s really what the Desert Fathers were. They were godly men and women who left the business of society in order to seek God and … Be Available. People would trek out to the desert in order to seek their wisdom and counsel, in order to be helped.

Please hear me, I’m not trying to say I’m a desert father … but do you see the idea?

Any of us who are truly connected to Jesus can serve as an Available Person.

In fact, you probably already are.

I write this not by way of telling anyone what you should be doing, but more by way of hopefully encouraging you — If you are seeking God, connected to God, abiding in God, and you are not sure exactly what your role is, ask God to simply help you be an Available Person to others.

Be ready with God’s Word on your heart, be prayed up each morning, try to keep plenty of margin in your schedule so that there is the space to be available for others. Check in on people, be pro-active in asking what’s going. Bring prayer into every conversation. Seek, if possible, to truly see and understand what others are feeling.

Do we do this perfectly? Never. I know I say the wrong thing, mis-step often, make messes as I go. But can God do beautiful things with Available People when they simply offer themselves for others?

Absolutely.

How did I go from Cloud 9 to a sobbing mess in less than 15 minutes?

I spent Saturday with a lovely group of Harbor Network ladies at Aldersgate retreat center, learning about Rest & Renewal, how our habits (all habits not just “spiritual” disciplines) connect us to or distance us from God. It was so good to worship, sit under the Word, spend quality time with some of my closest friends, walk in the sunshine, and just have the space to consider my soul. Hence the Cloud 9.

It was a long day however. I’d been up late the night before, left home early, and now it was late. My GPS took me on an unfamiliar route home, via backroads. As I maneuvered through winding roads, I came upon a small town called Aumsville, and my phone indicated I’d be turning soon, but I couldn’t see clearly where that turn would be. Distracted by trying to see where the turn was, I missed the fact that it’d gone quickly from a 55mph to a 35mph and then almost immediately to a 25mph. So as I came into the town, looking for my turn, I was still trying to decelerate when the dreaded red lights began to flash behind me and I realized I was still going 35 in a 25. Shoot.

I pulled, here came the officer, my heart is racing (anybody’s heart NOT race when they’re pulled over?), and I say I know I was going 35 in a 25 I’m so sorry.

“Actually I clocked you at 38.”

Ok well great. :/ I give him my license and pull up my phone app to show my insurance, and wouldn’t you know it all the stress starts. My app won’t open, it says my password is wrong, then when I finally get it it says my ID cards are expired even though we auto-pay our insurance, so that’s impossible, turns out the app just hasn’t uploaded my new cards, and now I’m fumbling and frustrated and my heart’s racing more. He was calm and said he could look up my insurance on his computer, so he took my license and said he’d be right back.

Oh phew. It’s fine. Yes, it’s a ticket, but it’s ok. He returned.

“Um, I can see that you do have insurance, but your license is SUSPENDED.”

What?! And then in a moment I realize what must have happened and I’m panicking and I beg him to let me explain.

Back in January, I had come to a right hand turn and not come to a complete stop and one of those traffic cameras took a picture and sent me a ticket. Ok fine. I filled out the paperwork, sent in a check, and forgot about it. Well somehow during the next couples months it did not clear or I didn’t do the paperwork right or something, and I was in the middle of everything with my dad, and not even thinking about it, so I get a notice in early March that I failed to pay or appear in court. I’m like What?! So I go online, and use the online portal and pay with a credit card so that I can get a receipt, it all goes through. Done. But apparently NOT because I got a notice March 26th, just as my dad is in his final days, that if no action is taken that my license will be suspended in May. What?! So I contact DMV and they say to contact City of Tigard, so I finally get them and they say that yes, everything has been paid, and yes, they can clear it with DMV, no problem, and they send DMV the form and they email me a confirmation of it, and they assure me that everything is taken care of and I’m all clear.

Until Saturday when the Aumsville cop is telling me my license has been suspended all this time!

And I’m sure I’m over-reacting, but I’m SO frustrated because I tried everything, and how on earth am I supposed to get this cleared up, and it’s late and I’m exhausted and I know that driving with a suspended license is like A BIG DEAL and now the officer is telling me I’m going to have to in person to Tigard again, in person to DMV again, and then back in person and appear in court in Aumsville to have this cleared.

And now I’m crying. Because I’m just so frustrated.

Because yes, I didn’t come to a full stop at a right turn. Yes, I was going 35 (ok, 38) in a 25. But this is a MESS.

The extent of this MESS feels disproportionate to my mistake.

I know I’m not faultless but this really isn’t my FAULT.

But I still have to fix it.

It isn’t my fault but I still have to fix it.

And then I see.

The officer is gracious. He sets my court date out into December so I have time to get it all sorted out. He doesn’t give me a speeding ticket because I think he can tell I’m on the verge of a melt down. He hands me the yellow slip and I can’t even look at it I fold it over in frustration and shame and shove it in my purse.

And cry all the way home.

And I can’t even figure out why I’m crying so hard. All of a sudden I miss Mom more than I could ever convey, like I feel like my heart will break in half I miss her so much. And all of a sudden the whole world is too heavy and it all makes me mad but then I realize what is happening.

I know a little bit of how they feel.

They. The ones I’m praying for. The ones who are facing painful situations and feel like, Why do I have to fix messes that aren’t my fault?

Why is this MESS so disproportionate to the mistake?

Ok Lord, I see.

Sometimes, when life feels sweet and easy, it is hard to put ourselves in others shoes. Sometimes our prayers aren’t super powerful because our hearts haven’t been affected with an understanding of how others feel.

That’s not to say that we need to walk through every situation in order to pray for it. But it is to say that if we want to be people who intercede effectively, if we want to pray with power for those we love, God might in His mercy allow us to experience situations where we feel what they feel, even on a tiny level, so that we can pray with compassion.

Jesus didn’t face every situation we faced, but he was tempted in every way that we are, which makes Him perfectly able to sympathize and intercede for us.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who was tempted in every way that we are, yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.(Hebrews 4:15-16)

And so this situation was humbling, but I needed it. I don’t like confessing my traffic violations, admitting I cried all the way home, and looking like an idiot in front of a police officer.

But I am truly grateful that God gave me perspective that helped me feel what some of the people I love are feeling, even if on a tiny scale. The frustration, the powerlessness, the exhaustion.

And though it IS frustrating, it is true that we often will need to fix things that aren’t our fault. We clean up messes we didn’t make.

That’s the gospel. Jesus fixing the mess of the universe, by His blood.

So first this morning I started making phone calls. Thankfully, just a few phone calls and emails got everything clear. My license is re-instated (yay!) and I don’t have to appear in court in person.

What looked like it would take a long time was quickly and easily resolved.

Also true on a larger scale: What looks impossible can be quickly resolved by God.

God fixes stuff. That’s what He does.

Praying.