Retreat Notes (4): Enjoying Fulfillment, Worshipping God

So the reality of the matter is that we can sit and talk about loss and pain and trusting God even when it hurts, but the reality is that God GIVES US GOOD GIFTS.  Ask anyone who has walked with God for any length of time and ask them to share some stories of the miraculous ways that God has fulfilled His promises and done great work through their lives.  He doesn’t just give suckers, He does fulfill His promises, He does give us the desires of our hearts, He does come through in miraculous ways.  If we ended this retreat after the last session, I feel like though it would be good, we’d be surrendered and empty handed, we’d be unprepared for life, because the reality is that most of us at some point will be floored and blessed by seeing God’s words come to pass.  He blesses us like a father.

One of my favorite Psalms reads like this 66:12.

10 For You, O God, have tested us;
You have refined us as silver is refined.
11 You brought us into the net;
You laid affliction on our backs.
12 You have caused men to ride over our heads;
We went through fire and through water;
But You brought us out to rich fulfillment.

God brings rich fulfillment. He’s not obligated to, but you cannot read through the entirety of scripture and not realize that God is longing, waiting, eagerly, to bless us. So we must be ready for this.  We don’t hope in it, but we prepare ourselves for it.  Our hearts must be ready to Enjoy Fulfillment while Worshipping God.

So tonight we’ll briefly look at the rest of all the stories. We’ll look at the end of the disappointments that we examined in the first session, and see what happened when the fulfillment came at last.  And then I’d like to share a few things from my own life, and how I’m just now beginning to see the fulfillment.  This is what we will talk about tonight-the fufillment.  The things.  However, what we’re looking at tonight is the danger involved in Fulfillment, and how we can successfully receive God’s blessing.  The very blessings of God that because of sin can potentially bring the ruin of our souls.

Abraham. God finally fulfills the promise.  Isaac is born, the seed of Abraham through whom the nations of the world will be blessed, through whom the Messiah will come.  Glorious fulfillment! Abraham has waited 100 years to have a son, a son by his true wife, the son of promise, of course he will adore him. How easy it is to wait upon the Lord, broken, praying in humble desperation, until the promise is fulfilled. Then we take our goodie, say thank you very much and excuse me I’ll be off enjoying my new god so please leave me alone. That of course is an exaggeration, but we come close to that.  But God loves Abraham too much to let this happen.  And Abraham is called to kill the very beloved son, kill the very fulfillment that God has finally brought to pass.

What happened to Joseph-God’s word was fulfilled.  He used Joseph to preserve the nation of Israel, providing food for them from the plenty of Egypt. His brothers did indeed bow down to him, and Joseph shines as an example of one who responded in Christlike manner, assuring his brothers, what you meant for harm God meant for good.  There is a man who understands the disappointments of God, the severe mercy of God.

Moses: God did do what He promised, delivering the children of Israel into the promised land. But it was not easy going for Moses, and his act of disobedience cost him the chance to see the promised land.  This is a warning for us.  Just because God fulfills His promise, or gives great spiritual blessing, does not make us immune to failure.  Each act of faith and obedience still matters to God, and we are still capable, at any point on our journey, of missing out on the promises of God because of unbelief or disobedience.

The Children of Israel:  This is perhaps the saddest because we know that once they inherited the land, they became fat with the abundance of the land, and forsook the Lord their God. This is the prime example of what we hope and pray does not happen.  Protect us from the danger of the good land!  Protect us from taking our fill of the blessing and fulfillment and forgetting the One who gave it all to us.

David:  David did become King, and didn’t worship his status as King, though he faltered at times in his integrity.  Perhaps it was the 10-14 years of misery, of wandering in the desert, that so prepared David’s heart before God that nothing, no Kingdom, no power, no glory would rival that love God had knitted so deeply into his heart.  Tale of Three Kings.

The Disciples: As far as we know, all the disciples (except Judas), who were so forsaken when Jesus died, went on to establish the church and die martyr’s deaths for Christ (except John who tradition tells us died of natural causes).  Apparently after he rose they finally “got it”-they figured it out.  Everything Jesus said finally clicked.  And while they had their rough spells as well, God used the trials and disappointments of before to prepare them for the work and glory ahead.

Story of a place to live.  Story of my internship.  Story of possibility of Jeff’s job.

These are amazing examples of how God orchestrates every little detail, even the disappointments, in order to bring about the rich fulfillment.  So then what?  First, of course, we fall on our faces and worship Him in thanks!  But then what?

Now I think that the hard part actually comes after the storm is over, when the terror is gone, you no longer cry yourself to sleep or are filled with anxiety.  God provides a job.  He provides a home. He pours out his spirit on some great event or ministry experience.  God brings your wayward child home.  He restores your marriage. He gives you a child.  He brings a man into your life.  Hey, I’m talking to a body of believers who have seen God bring them into rich fulfillment right before their very eyes.  The story of your building is miraculous.  We walked through the 10 years of pre-fulfillment, picking up the chairs and loading the Uhaul.  You all are seeing the fulfillment, so I dare say this is applicable.  God does fulfill his promises.  But the scary part is the we are SO prone to then worship the very gift instead of the Giver.

So how do we receive the good blessings, the promised land, the rich fulfillment that God gives, without turning on our backs on him and idolizing the gift that God so gracious gave. It seems to me that while God is always the initiator of things, there is a portion that is our part to play in this and a portion that is God’s.  For example, it seems to me that God divinely orchestrates the fiery seasons, the trials, the dark hour, the severe mercy, so that we will not become overly attached the good things, the blessings, and things of this world.  When are broken, we can become conduits for God’s blessings, letting them flow through us rather than hoarding them all up and calling them “my precious”.  God breaks us so that we are safe.  Unbroken people are unsafe recipients of His blessings. Just like horses and toddlers, we must be broken before we are safe.   That is God’s part.  Just as the Psalm said, he refines us like silver, but brings us into rich fulfillment.  As we mentioned before in Romans 5:1-5, “tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint”…this is what God accomplishes through trials (again, we could do an entire retreat on suffering).  Just last week I read

Proverbs  20:30 which says 30 Blows that hurt cleanse away evil,
As do stripes the inner depths of the heart.^“

God uses the disappointments to cleanse us from evil and bring perseverance and character, all of which helps ensure that we are able to handle blessing, to be safe with blessing.  That is what God does.

So then there is our part.  Our part then is to constantly be on guard for the subtle sin of letting things become internal.  Letting things creep into the single throne in our heart. As soon as something becomes absolutely necessary for our life and well-being, it is threatening to be an idol.  Then we, like Abraham, must lay it on the altar.

I think Hannah is an excellent example to us in this regard.  Here is a woman who truly longed for something-a child.  This is the kind of longing I’m talking about-the aching yearning deep inside that is torturous.  And, it might even be God-given, so it’s not like we can just forsake it, like a sin, and move on.  So she longs and aches for this thing, and then, as God so often does, He brings fulfillment to this desire.  Her son is born. Samuel the prophet.  Not just any son, a son of promise, set apart for God.  And what does she do? She kept the child with her until he was weaned (which could be anywhere from 2 years to 5 years), and then she takes him to Shiloh, and offers a sacrifice, and gives back her child to the Lord.  And her famous words in 1 Samuel for us to follow are this:  “‘For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him. Therefore I also have lent him to the LORD, as long as he lives he shall be lent to the Lord’.  So she worshiped the Lord there.”  What an amazing response.  I just weaned my son a couple weeks ago, at 20 months old.  I cannot even imagine now having to give him up. In fact, I recently read this trilogy by Liz Curtis Higgs, a rendition of the story of Jacob, Rachel and Leah, and in it Leah has to give up her only son.  I almost couldn’t even read the book, I cried so hard it devastated me, even comprehending the pain of giving over something I love so much. And that pain, that struggle is good, it’s real, but like Hannah, our response must always be that we commit all that God has given us back into His hands.  As AW Tozer has said so perfectly, everything is safe which we commit to Him, and nothing is really safe which is not so committed.

So this is the secret, the part that is our part, the secret that we must take hold up and put into practice-the blessedness of possessing nothing.  All things remain external to our heart, there is a single throne there, where only the King of Kings may reign, and though rival loves may fight, tooth and nail, to earn their way to the center, we battle more, harder, stronger longer, to keep our Lord Jesus securely on the throne.  Consider AW Tozer’s reflection to the Abraham and Isaac story, the ultimate example of giving back to God the sweet fulfillment of His promise that He has given to us:  In what he calls the blessedness of possessing nothing.

(READ PURSUIT OF GOD 27-30).

And by the grace of God, this is what I’m experiencing right now.  A job, a house, an exciting internship opportunity, these things are no longer necessary for my identity and contentment.  They are external. I am thankful yes, rejoicing yes, but none of it defines me.  My job, my house, my education, my status, the way I look, the clothes I wear.  None of these things define. I am a daughter of God, valued beyond measure, sealed by the Spirit. I have freely received, I can freely give.  This is freedom, this is relinquishment, this is surrendered expectation and living in the sweetness of expectancy. Lord I deserve nothing, but Oh you are so good, so I wait on you all the day.  My expectation is from you.

So we’ve covered a lot this weekend.  We’ve covered a lot of stories, a lot of scripture.  We’ve gone from embracing the fact that God deliberately disappoints us or thwarts our expectations, so that He can be glorified by doing greater and more glorious things in our lives. So our response is to process the pain of letting our expectations die, our dreams die.  We surrender, we acknowledge our fears, we name them, pray through them, and allow the grief to actually pierce our hearts.  We let the dream die, trusting that God will raise it from the dead if it is of Him.  And then we unearth expectancy.  We don’t let dreams die and then just wallow in despair.  We turn our eyes to Him, we meditate on His goodness, His omnipotence, His omniscience. We consider who He is, we study His attributes, we fix our eyes on His perfections, and we anticipate the great and glorious things that He will do because He is good and because He is God.  We wait in expectancy.

And then, when God does that glorious work, when He brings us into rich fulfillment, when He gives good gifts, as He loves to do, we respond by giving back.  We embrace what He’s given us and hold it with an open hand. If he calls us to give it back for good, we say Yes Lord, if he calls us to use it for ministry or give it away, we say Yes Lord.  We refuse to worship the gift, we enjoy it and receive it and offer it back up to God daily for His use.  This is the process of our weekend, the journey we’ve been on.  And what’s the common thread?  We hold onto nothing save Christ.  We trust with reckless abandon.  We believe Him period, rather than simply believing Him for something.  We don’t trust in people, we don’t wait on circumstances, we don’t live for suckers.  We hope in nothing except Christ.  We rely on nothing except Christ.  He is our life, breath, sustenance, glory.  He is what we look forward to each day, He is what we hope for at the end of our life.  His presence is our strength, His Word is our guide.  We refuse to settle for the trivial passing pleasures of this world when we can experience the greatest joy and adventure any mortal could imagine.  We let it all go, and we get God.  And we do this not in a sad resigned state of sorrow, but in joyful expectancy.

Expectancy, rooted and grounded in the goodness of God, is our joy.  I pray for this heavenly expectancy for every single one of us, a hope that is firmly based in God’s character, and surrendered to His wise and perfect will.

This journey we took this weekend, is really the journey you will take many times, a hundred little times, during the course of life.  We follow a path of disappointment, surrender, pain, hope, and fulfillment, then possibly back through again.  Some times it’s little, sometimes it’s great. We won’t always do it right!  You aren’t going to go home and live the rest of your life in perfect joyful expectancy.  But we press on! We can learn to go through this process with God, willing to be hurt, willing to feel pain, willing to learn and try and fail and learn again, we will see God move and shape our lives to be more like Christ, which is our goal.

My final question is Will you let God take you through this process?  Let yourself hurt, enter into your disappointments, identify the expectations that led you there, catch yourself hoping in outcomes, waiting on people, living for suckers, and then dig down deep into the character of God and fix your gaze on Him.  And when the glorious promises come, in those golden moments of life, turn your gaze back to him, offer the thing back to Him, and guard that throne of your heart so that He alone reigns in the center.

We’re waiting in Expectancy, Surrendered to Your Sovereignty, why? Because we’re hungry for True Intimacy Lord. For the things of your heart.