So basically we’ve had two pretty down sessions. Maybe you came here with a brave face saying, my life is good, and you feel like I came in and said, “no it’s not! God disappoints us! Admit it! You’re disappointed and full of fear!” Fun huh? Well my point in all that is just we want to get into our minds the difference between Expectation and Expectancy. Our goal is Expectancy without Expectation. We treat them like synonyms but there’s an important distinction we have to make. We’ve tragically mistaken expectation for faith. We set up expectations of what we think should happen, and then we call that faith. That is not faith, it’s just the same thing that the world does-names things that we really want and then hopes they come true. So what is Expectancy then? And how do we unearth it? Let’s look at Expectancy from six angles, like a giant box, to get a better, and turn the key and discover the secret to living in true Expectancy.
First of all, we have to embrace that living in Expectancy is not simply believing God FOR something. I hear all the time in Christian circles the idea of trusting God for something or believing God for something. I’m trusting God for and then name a thing that we’re basically just really wanting. I’ve caught myself doing this a lot-right now I’m trusting God for a job, for a place to live, for money to cover the cost of our baby, etc. And I think that is really fine, I mean those are the things that I’m concerned about and we’re supposed to lay our cares before the Lord and trust Him with those things. But I think there might be a subtle difference between trusting God with something and trusting God for something. The difference between Expectancy and Expectation.
For example, if I’m trusting God with our living and job situation, it means that I’m trusting that whatever the outcome, His grace is sufficient and His character demands my faith and trust. If I’m trusting God for a job, a house, etc. then I’m placing my own expectations on what I think God should do. It’s like I’m subtly twisting God’s arm saying, “Ok God, here’s my faith, now do what I want you to do.” I’m afraid that I do this way more often that I even realize.
Let’s look briefly at the prime example of trusting God no matter what the outcome. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego. They were about to be thrown into the fiery furnace and they trust God with their heated circumstances: “Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from your hand, O king. But if not, let it be known to you, O king, that we do not serve your gods.” Basically, they’re saying, We’re not only trusting God for deliverance out of the fiery furnace, we trust God with our situation and He is God and can do whatever He pleases.
Believing God for something is really nothing more than making a wish list, then slapping a holy-sounding word like “belief” or “trust” on it to make my dreams come true. That is nothing more than expectation. So instead of trusting God for something, our goal today is to trust God. Period.
Believing God means this, means that even if nothing changes, if my circumstances remain the same. If the green walls never change. If I live with my parents forever, if fill in the blank with your worst fear: (we’ll never have a baby, I’ll never get married, my husband never quits drinking, my children never return to God, my cancer worsens and I die.) Even if these things happen, I will yet trust Him, I will hope in Him, I will rejoice in Him, I will rejoice in Him. We say with Job, “Though He slay me yet will I trust Him” I cannot stress how important this step is. Now granted, we are very limited in this. I don’t currently have the grace to even fathom coping with the loss of my husband or my son. We don’t have to be ok with it-as if Oh I’m fine if my family dies and the world falls apart. But we can prepare, as best as we know how, so that when the circumstances of life overwhelm us, we are prepared with our eyes filled with expectancy, rather than simply hoping in expectations that we fabricate in our minds.
Secondly, Expectancy is true hope, not the same as “getting our hopes up”.
See words are funny things, and powerful things. Sometimes, the meaning of our words gets mixed up. I remember a dear missionary friend who always said, in the foreign tongue, “I gotta just keep my eyes on Jesus!” and then one day realized with horror that she had been saying, “I gotta just keep my eggs on Jesus!” You gotta pick the right word! But the sad part is that often our words become defined by the World instead of by God’s Word. Love for example. The world would say that two people engaging in a one-night-stand after drinking too much in a bar are “making love”. God’s definition is a little different. We have to rethink what our words mean.
This is problem when we talk about hope. We think that “getting our hopes up” leads to disappointment, so our strategy is to not “get our hopes up” so that we won’t get disappointed. Therefore in the world’s dictionary, we might read: “Hope = Disappointment.” These are the words we use. However, What is the ONE thing we KNOW about hope from Scripture? Romans 5:5, “Now hope does not disappoint“. This is God’s definition of hope. God’s definition isn’t tied to expectations, circumstances, or result. True hope, as defined by God’s Word, does not disappoint.
This is the hope that God’s Word speaks of. Why are you so downcast oh my soul, (Psalm 42, 43) HOPE IN GOD. Hope is not in a person, a circumstance, or an outcome. Hope is in the character of God. Hope does not disappoint. So this is a fabulous way to determine if I’m hoping God’s way. So even last week, something happened that caused a mild disappointment. It wasn’t a big deal, but it caused me to realize that I was hoping as the world hopes-in an outcome-rather than as God’s Word tells me to hope-in His beautiful sovereignty and goodness.
This is the key to waiting on God. The third key to understanding expectancy is that Expectancy takes place when we wait on God. (WHEN GOD BROKE MY HEART: Part where Dawson says “are you waiting on Jason or waiting on God?”)
This has and will stuck with me for the rest of my days. I ask myself this question all the time now. Am I waiting on God or waiting on my circumstances to change?
Now, know it’s not always clear-cut, and sometimes it’s hard to tell because part of waiting on God really does include some concrete things like applications, relationships, etc. BUT, the key is this: Waiting on God keeps my eyes firmly fixed on Him, where Waiting on a person or a circumstance keeps my eyes fixed on people and circumstances, which change and shift and will soon lead to disappointment, depression and anxiety.
Psalm 62: 5 My soul, wait silently for God alone,
For my expectation is from Him. (I would use the word expectancy here to keep it in line with what we’re talking about)
Expectation keeps our eyes on the circumstances because we are busy trying to line up what we think should happen with what is happening. Expectancy keeps our eyes on God-relinquishing what we hope for in favor of trusting God with whatever He sees fit.
Now the fourth key to Expectancy is understanding that our hearts are wicked, and we can even use our Relinquishment of expectation as a means of deceiving ourselves into simply setting up new expectations. I’m telling you, this expectation stuff doesn’t die easy! The things is that so many of us know from Scripture that often, God rewards those acts of surrender. Abraham got Isaac back, right? I mean, we give things up and surrender them, but then God always gives us something better, right? And sometimes, I know probably none of you do it, but sometimes we can actually begin to play a game with God, thinking that if we surrender our expectations, give something up, lay it down, then all we simply do is replace that expectation with another expectation: That God will give me something better in return. This is such a subtle thing, but we are so tempted to do it. I experienced this this year as well, in what I call learning that God does not give suckers. I’m just going to read it to you from my journal:
I’m painfully aware that God cannot be manipulated. I’m painfully aware that there is no sucker for me today. A few months ago I was taking Dutch to get his check-up and immunizations, and realized I needed a Tetanus shot. So while we waited for Dutch’s doctor, a nurse zipped into our room and while I was still holding Dutch, pulled up my sleeve, sunk in her needle, patted the spot with her guaze and was out the door in 30 seconds (a very expensive 30 seconds I found out when I later received the bill!). Then later Dutch’s turn came. First I gave him some Tylenol, so it wouldn’t hurt so bad, then I held him close to me, while the nurse took great care in giving the shots, then found special little Cars bandaids, and offered him a green sucker for being so brave. Later as I put Dutch into his carseat, I of course was extra careful not to bump his arm with the straps, and hurried him home. As I drove I rubbed the sore spot on my arm and I thought of the significant truth: “Funny they didn’t offer me a sucker.” Of course they didn’t offer me a sucker. I am a grown woman. A mom. They know I don’t need to be coddled and treated for every little brave thing I do. And that’s right and appropriate.
So why can’t I accept that as right and appropriate from God. Unknowingly I have set up a set of fairness rules in my mind. If I sacrifice something, God will give me something in return. If I respond rightly and obediently, God will bless me in tangible ways. If I have to get a shot, there will be a sucker at the end. In fact, there have been so many times this year that I have found myself thinking, “Oh I can’t wait to see the cool things God will do at the end of this year, and how He will bless us!” I might call it faith, but really it’s just an immature and childish notion that if I sacrifice something or endure some painful shot of adversity, God will reward me with a sucker. And even worse, thinking that way is nothing more than manipulating God. We’re saying “If I give this up to God, He will give me something better in return.” God will not be manipulated. So here we are, at the end of the year. The spiritual infant that I am thinks that somehow because I think I have sacrificed somewhat I deserve some candy from God. And instead God turns to me and says, “Thank you, my daughter. You’ve done what I’ve asked.” And…what else God?? Don’t you have a sucker for me?! Don’t you have something cool for me to show for it? What’s that? You mean to say there’s nothing at the end of the rainbow except the satisfaction of knowing You’re pleased? And sadly, the truth is that my wicked heart had hoped for more. Is God’s pleasure and favor not enough? How sad that I still act like a spiritual infant, demanding candy for a simple act of obedience.
Well, He did give me more than that, actually. Today as I sat on the couch crying, disappointed once again with the direction life is going, I opened my laptop and discovered an amazing email from a girl who reads this blog. A girl in Florida who I’ve never met, who stumbled across it and has been faithfully reading. Her words made me cry even more, realizing that these words poured out, my life poured out, does matter, it does impact people…in ways we may never know. That is a gift. As I prayed I thought of the times I’d asked God to pour me out for His glory, to pour out my life for the sake of others. But as I sat here today praying, all that could escape my lips was the infant pounding her fists saying, “But I don’t want to be poured out. I don’t want to be poured out.” I want a sucker. “No, my child,” God says, “I love you, and it’s time for you to grow up.”
Scan to another scene-Multnomah graduation last Friday. We went to celebrate with our dear friends Adam and Grace. Adam graduated with honors, earning the John G. Mitchell award, the highest seminary award given for excellence and Godly character. Afterwards we heard all the stories from the graduates-the pastoral positions, the awesome opportunities oversees, the exciting jobs. A part of my heart rejoiced with them, but you know what a big part of it felt: Nothing more than selfish toddler-style envy. With no more maturity than Dutch when he walks over and takes a toy from another baby, my heart inside wished that we had a cool story, wished that we had a neat job opportunity, wished that we had some sucker to enjoy. And so I turn again to God right now and repent. I ask Him to forgive me of my infantile desire for toys and candy from my heavenly Father. For my immature view of fairness and justice. For my sublte desire to manipulate Him by thinking that by giving something up I’ll get something in return, like a person saying “You take the bigger piece of cake” knowing full well that the person will then give you the larger slice.
Growing up is hard. I still like suckers. But I think I want God more. I want to love Him with more than a childish desire for the toys and candy of life. I’m not there yet, but I’m somewhere along the way. And today there are no suckers, only God, and He’s enough.
The fifth and bottom side of Expectancy is hard to see. This is not easy stuff, not just because it’s hard to relinquish things, but it’s confusing sometimes because we are called to pray specifically, asking God for what we need, but we also have limited understanding, and so most of the time we don’t even know what we need. So how do we do this? We’re called to pray for healing for a sick child, and yet we’re also called to relinquish the results to God and not have expectations. Someone please tell me how this is possible? I think that it is possible, but not easy, and DEFINITELY not to be done lightly. If you can easily relinquish the outcome of a situation, chances are it’s not that important to you.
Habakkuk is my another great example of this. In a nutshell Habakkuk is a prophet, and his little letter is basically a conversation between he and God. Habakkuk says, “God do something! Your people are awful! Draw them back to you!” And God says, “I am doing something! I’m sending the Chaldeans to come destroy them and carry them all away captive in exile.” And then Habakkuk says, “Uh, not exactly what I had in mind, God! How can you use the horrible Chaldeans, heathens, and let them have victory over US, your people? That’s not fair!” And God says, “Um, I am God. I have chosen this as my means of both exercising judgment and of drawing my people back to me.” So there is a struggle. Habbakuk is an example to us of this struggle. We don’t just go, “Oh ok, kill us all. Conquer us, let us die of disease. Ok.” But we wrestle in prayer, we cry out to God, we plead, we fast, we pray, we intercede for what we understand to be God’s best, as best as we know. But then, Habbakuk finishes with this, the judgment is determined, the outcome is final. It is then that he concludes his book: with V. 17-19. Read
He ends with joy! He ends with resolve! This is our hope. This is our goal. This is not a lay down and die sort of thing. We first identify what it is that we’re expecting and how we’ve already experienced the disappointment of thwarted expectations. Then we process through that pain and allow ourselves to be vulnerable with God, recognizing the things we fear. And we allow those expectations to die. Really truly die, just as Lazarus was dead four days in the tomb. And then, here, we begin to root ourselves deeper, we wrestle with God, as Habbakuk does. We plead and implore, we intercede, we let ourselves get involved in the situation. And then as we wrestle through this, we begin to let a quiet sweet resolve break through, when death is pending, when invasion by the Chaldeans is imminent, when the thing, the hope, the dream has died, then we realize that our expectancy must be in God, our expectations will be thwarted, and something deeper is needed.
So what is this something deeper? We know we set up expectations, we know we’re paralyzed by fear. So, how do we unearth expectancy? How do we have the courage to move forward in expectancy? The 6th and final and top view, the glorious KEY that is visible from above the glorious circumstance, the essential component that is the key to relinquishing all and living in true Expectancy is this:
We study, focus, meditate on, and memorize that Character of God. You will trust God when you know God. When you know God you will trust God.
This is basic, profound, and foundational to everything in life. Even in human relationships. People are imperfect, so sometimes when we get to know them it causes us to trust them LESS. (often that’s the case unfortunately) But, God is perfect. Because He is infinite, His characteristics are His perfections. Think about this. When God is wise He is perfectly wise. When God is trustworthy He is perfectly trustworthy. When God is just he is perfectly just. All that He is He is perfectly. So the more we get to know God, the more we will trust Him.
So the remedy for this malady of fear, of not trusting God enough to relinquish our expectations, is to form a greater understanding of the character of God.
Now we could do an entire retreat on the character of God. We would be here forever, and you can read entire books on this, you can do a study of the attributes of God, you can pray through thanking God for his attributes, there are a million ways to dwell more on his attributes and study them. For our quick time together I want to share what I call the three legged stool of who God is. These three, put together, hold our view of God in perfect balance. Without one of these, we tip over, but if we can rest firmly on these three, our faith and our expectancy will be firmly fixed.
- God is All-Powerful. Or Omnipotent. (scriptures) God is able to do all things. He is the most powerful being in the world. Greater than life, death. He is all powerful. This means He can do anything He wants. He can make something out of nothing. He can heal, he can raise the dead, he can bring death, life, he can cause conception, he can deliver from evil. He can do all things.
- God is All–Knowing. This means that God KNOWS exactly how to use his power. If he were only all-powerful, but didn’t know all things, then he’d be pretty useless. But because He knows all things, He knows where the sick child is, He knows your pain, your situation. He knows exactly how to use the power which he has. He is all knowing. And the third is the key, and it’s the one that most commonly is doubted.
- God is All-Good. If He were only all powerful and all knowing, but malevolent, then He could NOT be trusted with our lives. But because he is all three it means that not only can He do all things, and not only does He know exactly how to exercise His power over all things, it means that He is using his infinite power and infinite knowledge for our good and for His glory at all times. This is the amazing truth that fits it all together. All fear and doubt questions the goodness of God. When Eve sinned in the garden she believed the oldest lie in the book-God is keeping something from you because He is not good. He is not working for you. He is against You. He does not love you because He is not good.
Any sound biblical theodicy must maintain these three truths. You must maintain a Three-legged Theodicy. ANY compromise of these three is heretical.
I want to admit to you that it has taken me some time to get back to living in a real expectancy of what God will do, because I did allow myself to become jaded. I felt like we’d had so many disappointments in the past years that the correct response was to expect nothing from God. But what threatened to die was my true hope-filled expectancy in the GOODNESS OF GOD. If we only look at circumstances, we will naturally become disappointed, jaded and without hope. But when our eyes are fixed on CHRIST, and the goodness of God, the Father heart of God, the infinite love of God, then our hope is grounded, and we can live in heavenly expectancy of what God will do.
This is hope. We don’t believe God for something, we believe IN GOD, we believe in His love, His character, His promises. We trust Him because He is trustworthy. We believe Him because He is all-powerful, all-knowing, all good. THIS IS TRUE HOPE. True hope, that doesn’t disappoint is in the character of God. This is expectancy. This is waiting on God. We don’t hope in suckers, we don’t wait on people. We look to Jesus, and we hope in His goodness.
Meditating on the perfections of God gives us the courage to relinquish all to God. And who cheers us on along the way? Who provided the ultimate example of ultimate relinquishment? He relinquished His life on the cross, for the JOY set before Him. If our surrender is not deeply rooted in the knowledge of the attributes and goodness of God, it will be void of hope. It will only be depressing resignation to fatalism.
If our surrender, our relinquishment of all expectation, is rooted in the goodness of God, then true hope will be birthed, which will not disappoint.
When we understand His goodness, we realize that the truth is that God has more for us than we could ever imagine.
Let’s wait on Him, in expectancy ladies. Let’s hope in His goodness, let’s believe in His character. Our expectations have died, let expectancy reign in our hearts. Let’s see what God will do, Amen?