Looking Back {A life of no regrets}

My dear friend’s grandfather spoke these simple words to him, just before he passed from this life to the next:

“Live a life of no regrets.”

No regrets. A noble life-goal, yes? I think so. So as we enter 2013 and consider the direction our life is headed, let’s consider: Is there anything — habits, choices, relationships — that I might regret one day?

What does the world regret? I shared this last year, but here it is again: The top 5 things people regret on their deathbeds:

1. “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

2. “I wish I didn’t work so hard.”

3.” I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.”

4. “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”

5. “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”

This could really all be summarized by these four regrets:

1. People-pleasing (fear of man, lack of courage)

2. Refusing to rest (pride)

3. Neglecting relationships

4. Not choosing joy

It’s easy to see how these are the most common regrets. And yet, how often do our (my) New Year’s resolutions and goals really reflect a desire to live a life free from these regrets. For example, running a marathon is awesome but will I really lie on my deathbed and regret that I never ran one? Blogging every day is awesome, but will I really ever regret if I miss a day or two?

So the challenge for us as we cross into a new year is: How do I establish daily habits that will help me live a life of no regrets?

How do I live today with the end in mind?

The question for us is this: If you lived the rest or your days exactly the same way you lived today what would your regrets be?

I know mine, and they’re startlingly similar to those above:

1. People-pleasing (lack of courage) in being myself and sharing the love of Christ.

2. Neglecting play-time with Jeff and the kids.

3. Cluttering my life with too many relationships without investing enough time with the handful that matter most.

4. Not smiling more, not choosing joy each day. Letting little things like a messy house or a funky friendship weigh down my heart.

5. Talking sharply to my children, getting frustrated with them, speaking in a tone that cuts instead of builds.

These are the things I would regret. Oh, friends, I don’t want to have these regrets.

The new year is a gift of grace.

Each new year God gives us a chance, a mini-life, which He lets us do again and again. The grace-mulligan. He gives us a chance to stop, look back, and reflect, so that we won’t be caught off-guard at the end.

From 2012, my God’s grace, I don’t have many regrets. Only:

• I wish I had been a better friend and cheered on others more.
• I wish I had spoken more encouragement to my husband, every day.
• I wish I had devoted more of my creative energy to my kids, to play more.