Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of days I read God’s Word and my mind is wandering, my heart is elsewhere, and sadly, I leave my time largely unaffected. But so many more mornings I have to say I love God’s Word so much I feel like my heart will explode. There are days and weeks I feel like I’ll burst if I don’t share the gems of His Word. There are times I want to preach to the walls. Jeff actually does this, he preaches to himself in the car. But then again he’s kind of an odd duck.
Right now I’m reading 1 Samuel and I’m intrigued all over again by the life of Saul. Saul intrigues me this time around not by how disobedient he was or how crazy or how tragic his life turned out. I’m intrigued by how much of myself I see in this first king of Israel. I’m saddened by how I hold up his life and see my face popping up here and there.
In our Esther study, Beth Moore was sharing about how the one thing that surfaced in her study that truly surprised her was how much she found herself actually relating to Haman, the ridiculously pompous proud villian whose life ends on the very gallows he built for his nemesis. That’s stuck with me, and I too am finding myself looking at Saul like never before…someone with whom I can sadly relate.
Here’s why. What always intrigues me about Saul and David is how one’s sin caused him to be rejected by God (Saul) and how the other’s sin–a much “worse” sin–brought no disqualification in any way (David). I mean, at a glance, it seems unfair. Saul offered a peace offering unlawfully when he grew impatient waiting for Samuel to arrive. So? He was a little impatient right? Oh, and he spared the life of Agag king of the Amelekites and kept the choicest livestock instead of destroying it…but isn’t that a small detail? David committed adultary and had a man murdered! I mean isn’t killing a worse sin than not killing?
There’s lots here and I hope to write more later because there is a lot in there regarding obedience. But one thing that’s stood out to me today is their response. After Saul is called out for his sin, he simply responds to Samuel, “I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord and your words because I feared the people and obeyed their voice. (anybody smell an excuse and passing of blame there???) Now therefore please pardon my sin and return with me that I may worship the Lord (Sounds to me like, “Can we please just pass over this and get on with things and how about if I use a nice spiritual sounding reason?”) Saul never repented to God. In fact, he never repented. He said the words, wanting Samuel to hurry up and get on with the spiritual slap on the hand so he could go free and get on with this business. He had no intention whatsoever of actually changing his ways.
What about David? Though David too wants to ignore his sin with Bathsheba, when confronted (as Saul was) by the prophet Nathan, David says a lot more than “Ok then, fine, can you please pardon my sin so I can get on with life?” Psalm 51 and Psalm 32 give us an in-depth look at the tremendous grieving David does. His heart is broken. His spirit is contrite. If you didn’t just now, take 30 seconds and read Psalm 51 and 32 and think about David’s response. Here is a man who is truly grieved by his sin.
Are we?
Way too often I’m Saul. WAY too often. When I’m short with my husband or thinking critically of someone or focused vainly on myself, when I’m walking in ways that are not pleasing to God, I’m so quick to think, “We’ll I’m human! Sorry God!” In essence I’m saying, like Saul, “Ok can we just get on with it?” I’m not saying that everytime we have a sinful thought we need to pull over the car and start weeping…but what if we did? What if we DID take sin seriously? What if we DID confess to one another? What if we DID grieve, actually grieve over our sin? Would our hearts change? Would our life be more impacting? Would the world look on and be amazed? Would we sense the presence of God more than ever before?
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. Psalm 51:17
2 thoughts on “A Right Response to Sin”
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Great post, Kari. It totally met me right where I am at, too. I actually just memorized all of Ps. 51. In the last couple of months it seems as though the Lord has shined a bright fog light in the dark, grimy corners of my heart & exposed a thing or too I need to ‘deal’ with. I came across Ps. 51 & it touched me so deeply it brought me to tears. I decided that would be a good one to memorize! 🙂 I am so encouraged that I’m not the only one who feels absoultely wretched at times. God bless!
Kari I remember Rob teaching in Matthew on the scripture “if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away”. He said that we need to take sin seriously! If our computer causes us to sin, throw it out the window. Better to pluck out our eye than spend eternity seperated from the Lord! This has always stuck with me, thank you for the reminder!