One last thing on those tricky female relationships…

Last week we talked about Rachel and Leah and their miserable procreation competition to win their husband’s love and favor.  We talked about how we, as women, can fall prey to the same sin–that of competing with one another instead of loving, supporting, preferring, and loving one another.  The crux of the issue for Rachel and Leah was trying to win the limited affection of one man–never a good idea.

In Genesis 37 we see that the apples don’t fall far from the trees.

You’re probably familiar with the story–Joseph is the favorite son of Jacob (because was the son of Jacob’s old age and of his favorite wife Rachel, and Jacob was the favorite son of his mom, funny how that happens) and because of this of course he receives preferential treatment from his dad.

Once again we see multiple people vying for the affection and favor of one man–and interestingly enough, it is the same man: Jacob.  What a dude. If you EVER are feeling discouraged about how God could ever use you for His glory because you’re not worthy–just take a quick coffee break and crack open your Bible to Genesis and get a glimpse of Jacob.  Heel-catcher, deceiver, supplanter, kind of a stinky father, probably not a super duper husband (although when you have kids with 4 women and they all live in the same tent you don’t have a fighting chance at success). Although, God used Him. And God is the faithful one.

Anyway, all I wanted to point out here, was verse 4:

“When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him.”

Hated him.   Now later on he foolishly shares his dream with them and make them hate him even more, but before he even does anything foolish, they still hate him. Why? Simply because he had more of his father’s love.

Now there are a dozen lessons here, not the least of which is the importance of not treating our children preferentially! But just a quick note at how dangerous envy is.

Envy.

All they wanted was the preferential treatment, the love, the favor of their father. And while it is natural that they would feel envy toward their brother Joseph, it is still sin.  Envy is so dangerous because, as we see here, it leads to hate.

When we find envy in our hearts, hate is not far behind. That’s sobering, yes?  We’d never say we hated someone, but the seeds of hatred are envy. Are there seeds of hate in our hearts?

Moreover, this story reveals that when envy is planted, hate grows, and when it is fully grown it leads to murder.  Joseph’s brothers’ envy led them to such hatred that they planned on killing their own brother.

Sounds like Cain. Envy was what led him to murder his own brother.  Rachel and Leah didn’t physically murder each other, but I bet they wanted to! And while envy didn’t kill them physically, it clearly killed all love and affection they once shared. It killed a precious relationship.

Jesus echoed this as well. In Matthew 5:21-22 he says,

²¹ “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’²² But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment.”

In essence Jesus is saying, it’s not just the end-result that is wrong, the seeds in our hearts are what is wrong.  Murder is the result of hate which is the result of envy.  We tend to treat envy pretty lightly. We joke about a little harmless schadenfreude or wish someone would be taken down a notch. But the root of that is envy, pure and simple. Envy leads to hatred, leads to murder.

Girls, all my fingers are pointed at myself here. We have to be on guard against the sin of envy, no matter how small. No matter what she has that you don’t have or how smart or funny or successful or rich or loved or whatever, we have to be on guard. Someone else’s “success” does not imply our failure. Oh to be on guard against our competitive hearts!  How thankful we can be that we don’t to fight for the love of our God.

It’s worth repeating: God has plenty of love to go around. There is no limited amount for us to fight over, like Rachel and Leah and all of their sons.  And if God’s affection is more than enough, we can rest secure. Amen?

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In what areas are you susceptible to becoming envious of others?  What steps can you take to root yourself in God’s Word and guard your mind against the sin of envy? Thanks for enduring these heavy words this week, and thanks for reading.