I tiptoe in the dark, kneel down by Heidi’s bed, gather her up into my arms, then ease into the rocking chair. Her coughing eases into sleep as I remember these words …
—-
Mary tiptoed into the room, quietly knelt, and broke her alabaster flask, anointing Jesus’ feet.
The cost of that flask was almost a year’s wages–equivalent to 40-50 Thousand, dollars–all contained in her flask. It was probably her dowry, her worth as a marriageable woman.
All she owned.
Broken, poured out, wasted on Jesus’ feet of all things. The disciples, very logically and wisely, insisted there would certainly be a better use of those resources than dumping $50,000 on Jesus’ feet!
I would have thought the same thing.
Or, wouldn’t it have been so much smarter, to pour the oil into three containers, use 1/3 of the money for the poor, 1/3 of the money for her dowry, and a 1/3 of the oil use to offer to Jesus? That seems wise. Or, she could have worshiped him with words, she could have hugged Him, kissed Him, praised Him. Come on, I mean, really?! You have to waste all that good money by dumping it on the floor?
But Jesus thought it was a beautiful waste. He commends her, and then amazingly chooses to record it in Scripture, so that this woman’s story would be told around the world for the rest of history to know.
He thought her waste was beautiful.
Before she died at 95 my dear Aunt Lois shared these timeless words of truth:
But the important qualification for that truth is that nothing’s wasted that is given to God. Lots is wasted. People waste their lives all the time. The woman in the story could have dumped her alabaster flask into the trash and it would have truly been wasted. Utterly wasted.
But “wasted” on the feet of Jesus meant that not a drop was wasted, it was invested with the highest return–the glory of God, the worship of Jesus, the love and praise of the Savior.
That is beautiful waste.
And the beauty of the anointing wasn’t in the value of the flask’s contents–it was in the value of the sacrifice. We know throughout Scripture, from Abraham to David to the widow with the two mites to Mary and her flask, that the value of our offering is not in what we give, but in what we give up. Yes, there is a double meaning there. What we give up is what we sacrifice, which is the true measure of our worship. And, what we give up is given upwards to God, with His glory as the intended aim.
The value of our worship is what we give up, what we waste for His sake in response to His extravagant love for us.
What is my sacrifice? What is your sacrifice? What is our alabaster flask, what it is we can waste on his feet?
I had asked this. Waited. Asked God to show me.
The one thing He mentioned made tears slip silently down my cheek.
Giving up my time, my ambitions, my dreams, my preferences, to lay down my life for my kids, to giving every ounce of my being to investing in them to be Christ followers, Kingdom advancers, lovers of God. That seems so natural, but for me it’s not. Often it’s hard. Giving time and energy to writing and teaching God’s Word is not a sacrifice for me. It’s fun. Thrilling. Rewarding. Studying, reading, learning, teaching—all of those things are good and I’ll keep doing them, but they are not really a sacrifice.
Mommying.
A silent tear slipped down my cheek as I realized that was my alabaster flask. How appropriate that as I prayed those words I was holding my sick daughter upright to keep her from coughing, bouncing her softly and letting her pat my face with her soft, doughy hands, kissing her feverish, sweaty head.
Right there in my arms was the answer to my question.
Where is yours?
What is yours?
I’m praying for God to show me how to live this beautiful waste, how to fight the gnawing hunger for productivity, turn the clock to the wall, and wastefully invest in the two precious souls He’s entrusted to my care. One of them is coughing, so I must go. Let my life be a beautiful waste, O God.
{Soaking up these words from a few years ago … true today just as they were then. Thanks for reading.}
17 thoughts on “On Mothering: A Beautiful Waste”
Comments are closed.
a timely word for me. exactly what I am wrestling with. so many dreams and ambitions and though i love my kids with all my heart, being a good, attention giving mom is like you said, sacrificial.
praise the Lord that your blog was noted on fb where I rarely even check anymore!
Hope you are doing well Kari. Sure do miss you and Jeff being in Corvallis.
Thanks for this Kari. A timely word for me too! The world may not paint motherhood as a significant job, but the true weight and impact a mother has is mightier than we will ever know.
Kari, this question has been on my mind this past week, but I haven’t thought about it in the context of Mary and her alabaster jar, which is one of my favorite stories! It gets at my heart strings every time. 🙂
Wow, praise God for His perfect timing, Jess!! Thanks so much for taking the time to comment and say hello. I think of you guys often! I’ll see you soon for Shawna’s run, right? Can’t wait! Praying you are encouraged today in your mommying! Love, K
Amen, Monica! I’m still looking forward to reading that book you told me about …. the mother at home. Bless you girl!
Amen. Our lives as broken and spilled out for Jesus … bless you Jennifer!
AMEN sister! Spoke right to my heart and encouraged me in the best possible way! I just posted this link on my facebook page. SO GOOD MY SWEET FRIEND!
Oh my dear friend — I know you have felt this. God has deposited so MANY amazing gifts in you, and I’m sure it feels like so many are spilled out all over the floor right now. 🙂 Just know your waste IS beautiful, as all of you is! Thanks for your sweet words, I LOVE LOVE LOVE traveling this road together. xoxox
I get this post. I understand it and know that what you write is truth – but I would be lying if I didn’t say that reading blog entries like this just break my heart. You see, I would love to be living a life of beautiful waste. To pour into my wonderful son and a daily basis, to have nobly and sacrificially given up my time, talents, and drive to be home and raise him. But I can’t. That’s not my reality. So while I completely understand what you are saying and agree wholeheartedly with it, I can’t help but think, what about me? Have I been forgotten? Will my son and husband be less because I am not home more? Am I completely ruining my chances of being a good mom, something I so desperately seek after and strive for because I am work-outside-the-home-mom instead of a mother living a life of beautiful waste? Is God less pleased with who I am as a woman and mother because the bulk of my waking moments in a week aren’t spent at home? I so desperately hope not, but I truly fear that one day I will realize that something went horribly wrong and it was because I wasn’t home when my son was young or home when he came back from school.
Some people are just luckier than me, I think. Fortunate enough to have had parents who saved for college or were granted financial aid packages that were enough to cover tuition so they weren’t left with school debt. Fortunate enough, even, to have husbands who were called to vocational ministry and found churches that could pay a family supporting wage. I love my husband, his passion for his students, and the lives we live alongside those students and their families, but where we are and what they can give us still requires that I work. So I do. And I cry – nearly every day and especially after posts like this. I don’t think your intention was to make me cry, but I do because I so agree with your words. And yet, I am completely on the outside of this world.
oh my. i just arrived here from frugal living nw and, wow, this is beautiful. so glad the link was posted. thanks so much for writing it – it was just what i needed to hear! and, yes, the hearing goes down much easier when it’s so beautifully written! 🙂
Hosanna, I totally hear your heart and am so sorry for this pain, and your tears … I’m emailing you right now…
Just the reminder I needed to Kari! Taking care and cuddling my sick little girl this morning so I didn’t get my (selfish) fringe time to myself this morning. Taking the day as it comes and loving Jesus through it! I’m so thankful for this wasted time 🙂