This morning I had the luxury of sitting at Starbucks with a hot Tazo tea and my Bible. Jeff was with the Dutcher, out for a bike ride (Dutch in his little bike seat with his blue helmet is about the cutest thing in the world), and I had the rare luxury of quiet solitude. I read Proverbs 1-9, which is basically a series of contrasts between Wisdom and Folly, both personified as women. While wisdom is “life to those who find” it and gives “health to the flesh”, the way of folly has a different end: Your honor given to another, your years to the cruel one, aliens filled with your wealth, your labors go to the house of another, you mourn at last, and your flesh and your body are consumed. But “the path of the just is like the shining sun, that shines ever brighter unto the perfect day.” (Prov. 4:18, 22; 5:9-11)
Recently I talked to someone whom I love so much. She was sharing, with honest contrite humility, about the pain and grief she experiences due to the aftermath of poor choices. It does no good to look back and say, “If only I would have…” and yet the experience preaches a more powerful sermon than we’d likely hear in church. Doing our own thing is the hardest thing in th world. Sin, disobeying God, even just casually disregarding God’s ways produces more grief, heartache, and strife than any hardship we’ll ever experience in our struggle to follow God.
This week I’ve often had to pinch myself, taking inventory of my blessings. We have a maybe maybe possibility on the horizon that is the most exciting thing I can imagine. Even considering it makes me think, “Why on earth would we of all people deserve such a thing?” And we don’t deserve it, but I feel like all week God has been quietly whispering to me, “I told you I’d bless you. Just trust me.” So many times this year, when it felt like everything was going wrong and why did God hate me and want to take away everything from me, so many times I wondered, “Is this really worth it? Is it worth surrendering to God again and trusting Him?” And of course it is, even if He never blessed me with another thing in the world, of course it is worth it. But I’m reminded again, by life and by His Word, that His path is always and will always be the path of most blessing. They may be delayed (sometimes until eternity!), or hidden (we may be have to change our perspective because blessings have no dollar value), but the blessing is there, and I am reminded all over again of the loving Father Heart of God, who delights in His children and longs to see us follow His way, for His glory and for our good.
I wish I could plead with the world to understand that God’s commands are not burdensome (1 John 5:3). I wish they could understand that when he calls us to do or not to do something, it is to protect us from grief, pain, and lingering regret. God, help us to trust in Your character, to trust that Your good, and that as a loving Father You know best. Help me, help us. We don’t want to do our thing. Help us today. Amen.