No-shame November

I stepped outside for my morning walk and could feel the date … it was now November. Overnight we went from crisp and cool and sunshiny–kids wearing t-shirts jumping in leaf-piles–to damp cold, grey skies–kids inside curled up under quilts.

I pulled my bare hands into my sleeves to keep out the cold.

Moments earlier, as I’d sat under a quilt and soaked up the Scriptures. I’d flipped through my journal, reflecting, remembering…

Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is anything to hard for Me? 

I had hesitated. I had read the Words of God, spoken through Jeremiah. The words has stopped me.

Was anything too hard for Him?

I knew the right answer, but also knew that the only way to know what I really know is to see how I act. 

That is, my actions are the only real indicator of what I actually believe.

I knew which actions spoke loudest — the ones no one sees: My prayers.

As I sat and searched my heart, I realized that there were things that God had called me to pray for, to believe Him for, to press in and intercede for … and I had started strong, then petered out. 

Funny that we call a gradual diminishing, a dwindling to nothing — to “peter out.”  I know it has nothing to do with poor Peter the Apostle, but it is an apt description. The disciple who started strong then later “followed at a distance” and eventually outright denied Christ.

A little drifting, a dwindling faith-flame: Peter petered out. 

The question rang in my mind:

What things are you tempted to believe are too hard for Me?

Immediately 3 things came to mind. Those three things God had clearly called me to pray for, to give all my heart and concerted effort to intercede for.

But my prayers had petered out.

The things seemed too hard. Too many obstacles. Too much lost time. Too many factors. I already felt ashamed, I felt foolish, felt stupid for having believed in the beginning. Naive Kari always believing the best and looking like an idiot. All that’s happened this year is disappointment after disappointment. It feels like every battle’s been lost.

Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me?

I shut my eyes tight. Wiped away the tears that had welled up.

NO. NO. There is NOTHING too hard for my God. 

But … I hesitated again. How do I KNOW if these things are Your will? What if I’m wasting my time praying for things that aren’t Your will?

So clearly I hear:

What does MY WORD say?

Of course. His Word is so clear. These things are clearly His will. They line straight up, through and through, with the heart and will of God as revealed throughout His Word.

He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

I opened my eyes and looked out the window as fresh resolve arose.  All I could think was how glad I was that it was now November. October had been so busy. No time to reflect. But November stretched ahead, wide-open spaces of blank calendar pages and potential.

No-shame November. 

What? The phrase popped in my mind, I’m not sure why, but it rang true. Back in college all the guys had declared No-shave November and had fun sporting scruffy beards.

Why no shame?

I’ll tell you why. Because THAT is the emotion that the enemy wants us to feel when we encounter trials of various kinds.

You’re stupid for believing, you’re foolish for having faith, can’t you see your prayers are useless, can’t you see that all your efforts are in vain?

FOOL.

IDIOT.

And so we eventually internalize these lies and the shame hangs heavy upon our shoulders …

… and the prayers peter out.

Outside in the cold, damp air, all alone in our wilderness with no one to hear but God, I cried this out — LOUD — to Him. And heard His Word answer back:

Those who wait for Me shall not be put to shame. (Is. 49:23)

No-shame November.

The time to believe God is now. The time to take God at His Word is now. The time to sell the farm and go for broke and throw ourselves at the mercy of our great God and pour out all we have in reckless abandon, for His sake and His glory and the good work that He is doing on this earth, in our lives … in theirs.

Wait for the LORD and keep His way, and he will exalt you to inherit the land. (Ps. 37:34)

{Don’t give up. Thanks for reading.}