Needed Intervention

Do I look happier?  A little more rested perhaps?  Can you tell my son had 12 hours of uninterrupted nighttime sleep last night?

I’ve discovered the secret to my naptime/bedtime woes: a child-safety doorknob lock.  Now before you shake your head at me and think I’ve gone all soft on discipline, let me just say I really tried to hold out. I didn’t believe in getting one of the door-things because I wanted Dutch to exercise self-control.  We never bought the cabinet locks, and I still think that it’s better to train the behavior rather than change the environment.

However, after a week of this ridiculous, time-consuming, frustrating naptime and bedtime ritual, I started to wonder if maybe this was a bit silly.  Dutch wasn’t getting any sleep so he was extra cranky. We weren’t getting sleep so we were extra cranky.  Not a good combo.  We just weren’t getting anywhere.  Then I mentioned to Jeff, “You know we could just get one of those child-safety doorknob locks.”  It was classic. Jeff looks at me as if I’ve been keeping the biggest secret in the world. It was right out of Dumb and Dumber when Lloyd says to Harry, “You want this extra pair of gloves I have on? My hands are getting a little sweaty.”  A doorknob lock!  Who knew?

Well, I knew.  So with the hearty approval of my husband, we drove to Target last night with Heidi and the Monkey in tow. I have to admit I felt a little guilty when we had this conversation: “Dutch, you want to go on a fun adventure tonight?!”  “Yeah!” he shouts delighted and runs to the door.  And then even guiltier when we were walking through the store, picked out the lock, and Dutch’s eyes lit up because he thought it was a toy for him.  We didn’t lie. It was for him.  And it’s kind of a toy in a funny sort of way.  So all the drive home he played with his new “toy” in the backseat, sweet naive boy–like giving a man handcuffs to play with.

Now before you think me completely cruel, please finish reading. This was for his good!  We put the lock on, did our bedtime routine, read books, snuggled, prayed, then left the room as usual.  Then waited.  Sure enough, 30 seconds later we hear the click of him trying to get out.  And then, as he realized what had happened, he went ballistic and started crying. My heart broke. “Mommmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyy!  Mommmmmmmmmmyyyyyyy!”  After a couple minutes I couldn’t take it so Jeff said he’d take care of and I left and went running.  Jeff happily reported that 2 or 3 minutes later, Dutch gave up and went right to sleep.

This morning, when we went in at 8am to get him up, he jumped out of bed with a huge smile on his face and exclaimed, “I happy!”  Oh, dear boy, not as happy as me…

I suspect that after a few weeks, we won’t even need the safety lock anymore. In fact a friend of mine just told me she used one for a few weeks and then took it off and hasn’t needed it since.  The habit is learned.  I guess sometimes we just need a little intervention.

And not to overspiritualize everything (although we could never overspiritualize, in my opinion), I think the lesson is well taken.  Don’t we all sometimes, when struggling with an issue in our lives, need some external internvention to help us walk a path of righteousness?  Yes, only God can change us from the inside, but that certainly doesn’t mean we shouldn’t use every means possible to help us live the most godly lives possible.  If your eye causes you to sin, cut it out!  I think of the scene where Kirk Cameron takes a sledgehammer to his computer in Fireproof.  When we’re weak, we’re WISE to use whatever means possible to help us flee sin.  And, Lord, willing, as we grow and mature we’ll no longer need those external interventions.

Back in college and before I got married I used to struggle with food.  I was first too skinny then not so skinny.  My freshman year I weighed 105 lbs. and when I got married I weighed 142 lbs.  Now I’m a happy 125 and seem to bounce back to that no matter what–just my natural weight.  But as I worked through that difficult season I had to set up external boundaries to keep myself in check. Not weighing myself too often, not keeping certain foods in the house, having an accountability partner.   It feels kind of embarrassing to admit now, because that season is so long gone.  By God’s grace now food just seems like necessary fuel to help me keep up with chasing my son around, or a way to bring people together for fellowship, or a sweet treat in the midst of a mundane day.  I don’t even weigh myself anymore, and I enjoy exercise for fun and to be healthy and because it makes me feel good and relieves stress, not because I’m obsessing over my weight.  I’m free now, but I wasn’t always. And in the beginning, I had to have those external interventions to help me get on the right track.  I’m certainly not perfect in this area, but I do believe that God blessed my wholehearted efforts to honor Him with my body.  Whatever area of struggle we have, it’s worth the drive to Target for the child-safety lock in our lives.

So, I hope that someday my son has the freedom to stay in his room when he’s supposed to, without a silly door-lock. But for today, we’ll use the lock, and enjoy the freedom…and the sleep.

*NOTE: After I wrote this I was thinking that it might sound like I’m implying that anyone struggling with their weight is not honoring God with their body…Not true! I know many people who are WAY more careful and diligent in their diet and exercise than I and just still battle.  I know it’s not that simple. Just using that as an illustration from my own life. Hope that makes sense…