1 Samuel 15: My Monument

Yesterday we looked at the One thing of Saul and David, the thing which served as their ultimate motivation in everything they did.  David was motivated by a desire to dwell with God and see His beauty. Saul was motivated by a desire to dwell with himself and see his own glory.

The clearest glimpse we get into Saul’s one motivation is his response to success. When he goes to battle against the Amalekites, God gives them victory, and Saul carries out some of God’s commands, but not all (partial obedience is disobedience).  And while partial obedience clearly reveals an elevating of self above God, it’s understandable that one gets carried away, loses focus, gets drawn in by the spoil or wealth, etc. But Saul’s next action leaves no room for mistakes.  His actions are loud and clear.

He sets up a monument to himself (1 Samuel 15:12).

Really. Yes, he really does this.  No mistaking the motive here, huh?  You can accidentally get swept away in the moment and not completely obey the directives of the Lord. But you don’t accidentally or mistakenly lay stone upon stone and construct an entire monument in your own honor. Nope. This pretty clearly shows us what Saul’s one thing was.

I was pointing this out to Jeff, saying, “Really Saul? Build a monument to yourself?!  I mean, who does this?” I stopped.

“I do.”

Yes, it’s very clear now.

I do.

I immediately thought of how often my struggles or frustrations or stresses are nothing more than someone mistreating my monument–the monument I have set up for myself.

This mistreatment of my monument happens in a variety of ways: Someone standing in front of it or bumping it out of the way or kicking up dirt on it or not appreciating it or–heaven forbid–walking right by it and not even noticing it!  The nerve!  Yes, yes, I’m afraid that much of my sorrows can be traced back to a simple mistreatment of my monument.  It reminds me of AW Tozer’s words on pride:

As long as you set yourself up as a little god [or monument] to which you must be loyal there will be those who will delight to offer an affront to your idol. How then can you hope to have inward peace?  The heart’s fierce effort to protect itself from every slight, to shield its touchy honor from the bad opinion of friend and enemy, will never let the mind have rest. Continue this fight through the years and the burden will become intolerable. Yet we are carrying this burden continually, challenging every word spoken against us, cringing under every criticism, smarting under each fancied slight, tossing sleepless if another is preferred before us…” (The Pursuit of God, p112)

Oh dear.  I hope with everything within me that you cannot relate at all.  But perhaps you can? When we begin to see the events of the day purely in relation to how they affect us then we can be sure that monument is standing tall in our homes and hearts.  We hardly know it’s there until others have the nerve to ignore it or tip it over. Then, you can be sure, we’re ticked.

What a horrible place to be.  I do not want a miserable monument to myself. What an empty pursuit and joyless passion.  To fiercely protect our own touchy honor is to live in continual exhaustion and defeat.

There is something so much better.

Do you remember David’s one thing? Let me remind you.  It goes something like this…

One thing I ask from the LORD,
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the LORD. (Psalm 27:4)

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some demolition work to do.

Perhaps you do too.

Thank you, Father for grace.