At about midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. Acts 16:25
I mentioned in yesterday’s post that I had the “blahs.” Well, ok, to crack open the door a little farther into my heart — I was depressed. Just plain depressed. Jeff and I were both exhausted, he’d had no sleep, I’d had no sleep since I’ve been up at night with this stubborn cough, and as I got all my things ready to go to class for the day, Dutch was crying because I was leaving and Jeff was trying to console him. After spilling my tea, misplacing my keys, and fratically realizing I needed to grab some food for my lunch, I finally got in the car and sped down the driveway, only to hit a pothole and jostle my hand, spilling my tea all over myself. A small thing, really. Spilled tea. But at the moment it might as well have been my heart that was jostled just a tiny bit too much, because it spilled. I pulled over to the side of the road and just started weeping. Exhausted, weary, confused, tired. Just tired. Somehow it just felt as if all of this was for nothing. Why? Why are we even bothering to “LiveDifferent” –what’s it all for? Why do I even try to keep my eyes fixed on God. It feels like it’s all for nothing. So after catching my breath, I simply cried to God, “Please God, just something. Just something. Just something. Just a little something to show me that You’re in all this, that You haven’t forgotten us, that there’s actually a reason why we’re living this crazy life of so-called faith. Just something, please.” And with that came a little dose of peace, and I drove off to class.
So this afternoon, after putting my little wild man down for his nap, I brought my lunch upstairs to find refuge in the silent indulgence of checking my email and reading blogs. My little “Something” came. An email from an old high school classmate who I’ve not seen in 10 years, who reads this blog. Basically, it was my “something” from God and more — a reason to press on. It was the most encouraging letter I’ve ever received. Hands down. I wept as I read it, realizing that Acts 16:25 is the reason we press on in hardship, the reason we live this crazy life of so-called faith even when we don’t feel like–because our life always impacts others. Paul and Silas were in prison (and my life is a Caribbean Cruise compared to theirs!), and while they were praying and singing hymns to God, the the other prisoners were listening. The world around us is saying, “Inspire us, please! Inspire us. Why should we hope in God?” I know I long for that. Why do I read those spiritual greats–Tozer, Murray, Piper? Why do I love reading and hearing about the lives of my friends who are walking the life of faith–because it inspires me. It calls me to hope in God, to lay aside my petty struggles and look to Jesus. I crave the inspiration of those around me. So when we give up we don’t just let ourselves down, we let each other down. Because we’re all connected. So when Paul and Silas were praising God, they were preaching the greatest sermon of their lives–believe in God. Believe in God. Believe in God.
So my “Something” came as a tender, loving, encouraging reminder that God is at work in Jeff’s and my life. He does hear, He does answer, and the world is watching to see how we will respond to life. To the dear sister who wrote to me: Thank you. Words can’t express how you encouraged my soul. I pray that this little blog would be a teeny tiny dose of inspiration, hope, encouragement to any of who also desire to live a life of faith in our gracious God. And when you’re desperate, ask God. Ask Him for a little “Something” of your own. And share your little “Something” with someone else, for the glory of God.