My life, a bowl of oatmeal

One of my greatest joys is hearing from YOU. When you take the time to share your life, heart, and real-time God stories, my heart leaps for joy. The following message was sent to me from one of you. A reader named Matt (yes, lots of guys read this blog too!) was so generous to share his story. It’s simple, but sacred. Longer than my normal posts, but worth reading. Enjoy!

...Something remarkable happened tonight. I was reading two of your posts, “Appetites and Masters”, and “When you need more energy”, and I could feel that God was working out something in my heart that I’ve needed Him to for a while. I was writing down a list of things that, as I can best say it, I have allowed to master my life. It was rather embarrassing to say the least. Motivating, but shameful.

So I prayed about it, took some time to ask the Lord for freedom, for healing, for His holiness and for His life in this dark corner. I got up and was making oatmeal, when He spoke. Just I was pouring the oats into the pan I heard Jesus say: “Stop.”

Startled, I asked “what, Lord?”

“Look at the measuring cup,” He said. I looked down. “Notice how you are adding an extra little heap on top?”

“Umm..Yeah, Lord?”

“Take it off.”

“This is strange, but..ok. there. It’s gone. Now what?”

“Great. Now pour the water.” So I poured the water, unclear as to what on earth He was up to. Was He just here to hang out? Mess with me a little bit? As I reached for a banana, I heard Him again: “No, not that one. Use that one instead.” Ok, Lord. What the heck? I mean, a banana is a..banana, right? Apparently not. “

Um, ok. But, this one’s a little bigger, so it’ll fill me up more, and besides, it’s going bad. That one’s not. I need to get rid of this one.”

“I know. But that one is smaller, and you’ll see why.” So I grabbed it and started slicing it into the oatmeal. Then I reached into the fridge to grab the jelly, and I was putting little bits into the bowl. Ok, small spoonfuls. Fine. They were smaller spoonfuls than last time. Anyhow, I was doing that, and wouldn’t you know it: “Not so much.”

“Wait. Ok. Hold up. What does a little jelly even matter? I mean, what are you doing? Don’t you want me to be happy, Lord?” Whoa. I just..asked Him that? Hmm. Maybe I see where all of this is headed now.

And with absolute grace He replied: “This isn’t just about the jelly, or the banana, or the oatmeal. This is about your life, and how you look at it, and how you feel life needs to be.”

Whoa. There it was. Plain and simple, and, well, awkward. “Ok, Lord. So keep going. Tell me how this relates.” (As I grab the sugar.)

“Well, how about you let me help you be free from the need for sugar in your oatmeal?”

“Sure!” I say, putting it back in the cupboard, a little frustrated. But why? I wonder. Why can’t I just have a little sugar in my oatmeal, a bigger banana, a few more oats, and why can’t I just eat it, be full, and leave it at that?

The Lord interrupts my thoughts: “Because you can’t just leave it at that. You know what this is about. See, your life is like this oatmeal, because everything has to be perfect, and comfortable. It’s gotta be just hot enough but not burning your mouth. It’s gotta be cool enough to enjoy, but not cold and disgusting. It’s gotta taste pleasing, be easy to swallow and give you a good feeling on the way down, it has to sit well and not cause discomfort. The house needs to be clean, and arranged in a way that makes you feel comforted and secure. The shelves at work have to be perfect when you are finished filling them, the bike has to amaze you before you will consider spending money on it. The neighbor can’t smoke when your window is open, the maintenance guy can’t mown the lawn while you are sleeping.”

As I heard scenario after scenario where I have just simply made it about me, and my comfort, and my happiness, I guess I’d never realized just how much I’d let it all become like that bowl of oatmeal: AN IDOL!

If I can’t be ok with the bland, or even distasteful oatmeal filling my tummy the same way that the delicious kind can, if I can’t let go of my expectations for everyone and everything to be easy and pleasant to swallow, then I’m placing my own happiness and my own pursuit of comfort in front of Jesus.

I’ve been giving that oatmeal, my life, more worth than my King or His glory. And that’s idolatry. As I finished that sugarless bowl of oatmeal with less jelly, and a much smaller, plan B banana and with a heap fewer oats, I couldn’t help noticing how much fuller I felt. Because, you see, the wholeness of Jesus Christ had opened the eyes and the ears of my heart, and poured in a little more of His life-giving and sustaining truth that He knew I so desperately needed. And now I see that regardless of how full my belly is, I need to place spiritual food first. I need to place Jesus first in my heart, because only He can sustain, and only He can satisfy. I can live without tangible, edible food, but I cannot, absolutely cannot live without Jesus Christ, the Giver of Life.

And I’ve let everything else I’ve worshipped take the place of that, and it just hasn’t worked. So what I do is I add a little more, I try a few different things. I add more oats, more yummy banana and a little more jelly, I add a sprinkle of sugar and a nice new warm sweater and a new power drill and a new harmonica and a new helmet (and, and, and,) and I bite and I swallow and I tell myself that this erases the malnourishment of my SOUL. But nothing can take His place. Not a thing.

So this time, this bowl of oatmeal, this life of mine, belongs to Jesus. May He use my life, bland and distasteful though it may seem, for His glory. I don’t need to have a sweet taste in my mouth or a good feeling in my belly, I don’t need the right looks or the right amount of sleep, or the right house to lead other’s to Christ. I don’t need those things to be His. I just need to put Him first in my heart/life, and trust that He will take care of all the rest. I’m sustained, because of Him alone. God is so good.

{Can I get an AMEN?? Preach it, brother Matt! Thanks so much for reading.}