Justice is coming

Today marks another little leg of our journey, and I wanted to share it with you… Jeff and I had the joy today of discovering it is a little BOY who is coming to join our family.

I shared a bit of our journey back here: Our Hope Is in Heaven. Back in the fall of 2016, when we were praying and fasting through whether to pursue having more kids, God gave us two names: A girl (Honor) and a boy. We lost Honor, and then later miscarried Hope, but God was in all of that, and He used it mightily in our lives. I can honestly say that God was so GOOD and did so much GOOD in our lives through those losses, even though it was heart-breaking.

During the September-October time period, God continued to speak some certain promises to us, although some of them didn’t quite make sense. Honestly, I still don’t understand how it’s all going to work, so I’m waiting to share some of it, but He generously allowed us to get pregnant in October, and I assumed it was another girl.

Since we had lost baby Hope at exactly 11 weeks, I found myself becoming anxious as my 11-week mark neared. At 10.5 weeks, a precious friend of mine miscarried, and I was devastated for her. I also found myself shaken at the news, and kept seeking every moment to TRUST. On Christmas Day I was 2 days shy of 11 weeks, and I had a lot of cramping that day. I told myself it was nothing, and pretended it wasn’t there, but it lingered. Finally I texted friends and asked them to pray. That night when I got home, I had a message from another friend that she had miscarried as well. My mind swam, so sad for her, and again seeking to keep my eyes on Him. No matter what. Trust. Trust. Trust. Tuesday morning the cramping continued, so I left my midwife a message, but I never got a call back. That night, Tuesday night, 1 day shy of 11 weeks, I went to bed with a heavy heart, praying myself to sleep.

And I had a dream.

It was one of those remarkably vivid ones, that’s like living real life. In my dream I was holding a precious, healthy, baby boy. I was testifying to everyone around about God’s faithfulness. There were some other parts of the dream that I’ll wait to see how they play out, but I knew the significance:

This baby boy would live. 

The next morning I woke with joy. My midwife had me come in for an ultrasound, just to check things out, and sure enough: A happy baby bounced around that screen. Relieved and rejoicing, the cramping stopped and hasn’t come back since.

Since then, I felt, deep down, this was a boy: This was Justice Scott Patterson.

And today we saw him wiggle around on that screen, and we rejoice! 

Why the name Justice? Of course I don’t pretend to know completely. I don’t know what his life will be like, or the calling God has for him. But I know that God talks about justice 130 times in the Scriptures. The Lord loves Justice …

And Justice is coming.

The message of the past year has been unmistakably clear: Honor is lost, or Hope is in heaven, but Justice is coming. 

What is God’s justice? My dear friend put it this way, “Justice restores what has been stolen by the enemy.”

For the Lord is righteous, he loves justice; the upright will see his face. Ps. 11:7

The Lord loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love. Ps. 33:5

And the heavens proclaim his righteousness, for he is a God of justice. Ps. 50:6

For I, the Lord, love justice. Is. 61:8

And so I pray that this boy will become a man who does justly, loves mercy, and walks humbly with His God (Micah 6:8), that he will “administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another” (Zech 7:9), that he will “learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow. (Is. 1:17). I pray that he will be a defender of the weak, a mighty force upholding righteousness and honor, that he will be a strong man who loves and serves others well. And even more than who he is, I know who He is, and God is the Just and the Justifier, and Christ’s power sets free all who are oppressed and restores what has been stolen.

And for today … I simply pray that this tiny boy will continue to grow healthy and strong. That I can carry him all the way until he is destined to be born. Continuing to trust God each day of this journey. Thanks for praying for this little one; and thanks for reading.