Remember the man gathering sticks?  Well I think he and Jephthah are in a tie for the stupidest-move-in-Scripture award.  Both stories are tragic and both men make me want to grab them by the shoulders and shake some sense into them. But then, I’d have to shake myself, because I do the same things.

You may be familiar with the story. Jephthah was a mighty warrior and judged Israel six years.  He was a man of war–perhaps that led to his rashness.  When called to go to battle against the Ammonites,

“Jephthah made a vow to the LORD and said, “If you will give the Ammonites into my hand, then whatever comes out from the doors of my house to meet me when I return in peace from the Ammonites shall be the LORD’s, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering” (11:30).

Now come on, Jephthah! What was he thinking??  I mean, perhaps a goat or little lamb will run out the front door like a loyal dog to meet you, but aren’t the chances pretty good that it will be a person??

And sure enough, it was.

“Then Jephthah came to his home at Mizpah. And behold, his daughter came out to meet him with tambourines and with dances. She was his only child; beside her he had neither son nor daughter” (v.34)

Jephthah is devastated. Of course he’s devastated! But listen who he blames:

“Alas my daughter! You have brought me very low, and you have become the cause of great trouble to me. For I have opened my mouth to the LORD, and I cannot take back my vow” (v. 35).

He’s the ridiculous one who made the rash and tragic vow! His daughter is the one who loses her life.  After letting her wander in the wilderness for a few months lamenting, he carries out his promise and takes her life. It’s disturbing on so many levels.  But what can learn from this tragedy? This is what struck me as I read through it this time.

::Others often pay for our promises.

We know that in our schedules when we say yes to something we say no to something else, right? That’s a critical thing to remember when we are juggling kids and a husband and friends and ministry and life.  But the same is true here exponentially. For Jephthah to say yes to carrying out the promised burnt offering he was saying no to the life of whatever came out of his door.  He didn’t know what it would be, but he knew it would cost someone or something its life.

When we made rash promises or commitments, saying “yes” to do something or be somewhere, we have to remember that something else must die. There will be a cost. It might very well be worth it, but it is still a price to pay.  And just as Jephthah did not know who would pay the price of life for his promise, we often do not know exactly who will pay for our overcommitments or promises, who will pay for all the “yeses” that we love so much to give.

Who will pay?

Jephthah’s child paid.

Often our children pay.

Obviously, as someone raising Ministry Kids, I take this warning to heart.  Just last week I offered to host a ministry event at our house on Saturday night, then in the moment realized it would mean almost zero time for the kids to have with Jeff right after him being gone for a whole week. I quickly rescinded my offer before it was set in stone!

And this is true of more than just ministry, but perhaps ministry is the most tempting because it is “an offering to God.”  Thankfully, all of life is an offering to God (Romans 12:1), and whether we are standing on a platform teaching or at home tickling our children, we can do it for His glory.

Lesson for me? Stop. Wait. Think. Pray. Then act.  Remember Jephthah before I rashly commit to something.

And remember that our children often pay the price for our promises.

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Can you think of a time when your children paid the price for your overcommitment? What did you learn and how have you learn to avoid this pitfall?


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