How to Change

This past week I have been in a funk something terrible.  Of course there were a few petty things (and I mean petty) that contributed to it, but for the most part I didn’t see it coming and all week I seriously felt like I was walking around with someone else’s emotional makeup… someone highly unstable.  I don’t know who she is or was but I don’t like her one bit!  Poor Jeff, I’m sure each morning he watched me stir from sleep with trepidation: “Which wife will it be?  Happy energetic Kari or this new impostor who looks just like her but acts as if the world is out to get her, who stares forlornly at the dishes in the sink as if there is no hope, who insists that she’s fat and ugly no matter what I tell her, who shrugs and grunts one-word answers to my questions.  Who is this new wife?! I want my old one back!”

My ever-patient and persevering husband of course lovingly nursed me back to emotional health and even my son prayed one night, “Dada God, please help mommy be happy forever and ever. Amen.”  Who can wallow in self-pity when you hear that from a 3-year-old’s lips?!

But here’s the gist of it and what I’m learning through it.  We all just need to change.  God has graciously done so much good work in my life, and I praise Him for it.  But as Paul exhorts the Philippians, “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own…one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of god in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:12-14).  Oh dear Jesus there is so much room for growth!  When God gives us a glimpse of where we need to grow, to change, there’s the temptation to just get fixated on it. We see the weakness, the infection, the sin, and instead of crying out to God, we get all down in the dumps about it and next thing you know we’re wallowing in a mire of self-pity, discouragement, and despondency. And what we are doing while wallowing in that mire?  Nothing.

Nothing was what I was doing all week.  I saw the race that needed to be run, but for whatever reason, I just wanted to sit down on the sidelines and stare at my aching feet.  Maybe pick a scab or two.  Maybe whine about how thirsty I was.  Anything but get back in the ballgame, trusting Jesus and abiding in His love and grace.

So how do we get turned around?  How do we muster up the strength to get off our backsides and get back into the race?  In a word, How do we change?  I believe the whole world is asking this question.  Every self-help book attests to the fact that the world wants to change–we all know we’re feeble and that we fall short day after day. How do we change?

The very next chapter of Philippians brought me my answer, along with a song God’s been using to minister to me this week.  Philippians 4 says this:

“Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice… do not be anxious abotu anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of god, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and midns in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.  What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me–practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you” (vv4-9).

Here’s what I see in these verses.  When we see the weakness, the infection, the sin:

1. Look to God.  Choose to rejoice. We rejoice not in our own adequacy, but in the Lord.  In ourselves we have no reason to rejoice, in God we have all reason to rejoice.

2. Trust Him with your weakness.  Don’t be anxious.  We’re commanded.  We’re not the ones responsible for our sanctification.  The way we received salvation (by grace through faith)  is the same way we grow in sanctification.  Trust Him.

3. While thanking God for what He’s already done, present our needs to God.  He’s a ready physician, poised and prepared to do the work we need Him to in our hearts.  Ask Him.

4. Receive God’s peace. The result of trust and humble dependency.

5. Fix our minds on what is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, worthy of praise.  No matter what battle it is,it is primarily a battle of the mind.  Fix your mind on Christ.  Fill it with His Word. Memorize it, meditate on it, brainwash yourself with it.

6. Practice it.  Whatever we’ve learned to do–do it.  If we are hearers of the word only, we’ve deceived ourselves and are not truly disciples.  We are responsible for what we know.  By faith we step out and practice what we’ve been taught, whether we feel like it or not.

Thank you, God for your Word!  Isn’t it rich?  God alone can change us, but He partners with us as willing vessels.  The other thing God’s been doing is using a song to minster to me. I’m so grateful for those who God has gifted musically, who’s words and melodies work deep in our spirits to draw us to God.  This one’s called Change, by a girl who’s a friend of a friend of mine.  I’ve included the lyrics here.  Listen and enjoy.

http://www.myspace.com/lystrassilence

I feel the void
I sense that something needs to change
I dig inside
I know that all I need is You

I’m holding out a broken heart
Oh, Lord I’ve chosen my own way
This leads to pain
You respond with so much grace
Lift my head and bring me strength
I can say I’m ready now for…

Change, oh I can feel the way You’re slowly taking over
God, I will surrender
To this thing called change

I breathe it in
The hope that something soon will change
You grab the core
You show me I need to learn to die
Throw my ambitions to the side
A breath, a step of faith away

You speak my name
I could never be the same
Lift my head and bring me strength
I can say I love the way You…

Change me, I can feel the way You’re slowly taking over
God, I will surrender
I’m throwing up my hands now
To the One who saves me
You give hope so freely
Here I am, invade me
Fill me with your change