His and his generosity toward me.

 {Two years ago Jeff revealed  a secret to me, from our way back college-ministry days, way before we were married or even an item or even liked each other (even before he broke my heart!)… Enjoy!}

We were donation-supported college-ministers, which meant you had no idea how much money you would make each month, but you did know it wouldn’t be much.  I lived on about $500/month, and that included rent.  Well, in the process of learning to trust God for my finances, this one month I sensed Him leading me, very clearly, to commit to supporting some missionaries to Brasil $25/month. It wasn’t a lot, but it was for me, especially on top of tithing the10% of my small income.

So I committed to it.  The next month, I received my paycheck and my heart sunk.  It was less than my rent.  Now I knew God stretched dollars, but this just didn’t add up. I had to pay rent and didn’t have enough money.  And I had committed to these missionaries!

So that morning I went for a long walk, cried, and prayed to God, asking Him to provide. I very clearly sensed God leading me to write the check to the missionaries FIRST. 

Before I worried about rent, I was to write the gift check first.  So, I went to class (I was in a one-year Bible/ ministry training school at the time), and during a break sitting there with shaky hand writing out that $25 check.  Ok, Lord. (I still had told no one about my money situation.)

From class I went straight to our college-ministry staff meeting.  I was discouraged and near tears, but didn’t want to share with them why.  God kept just putting on my heart to trust Him in this.  I kept quiet.  About halfway through our meeting, our administrator poked his head in and asked me to come into his office. Oh dear, what had I done wrong?

I walked in and sat down, “Yes?”

“Well,” he responded, “I don’t know why, but you just received an $800 gift from an anonymous donor.”  My jaw dropped as my eyes filled up with tears. What?! I had never received $800 in a whole month, ever! Let alone as a BONUS! Let alone as an anonymous gift at the very MOMENT that I needed it.  I thanked him profusely, took my check, and beaming from ear to ear went back to the meeting, holding my secret kiss from God safely in my pocket.

I’ve always said I’ll carry that story with me all my days. God has provided in lots of “bigger” ways I suppose since then, but that was such a vivid example to me, during a season when I was single, longing to be married and “taken care of” by someone, that God was to be my provider.

—

So yesterday at small group I told that story again.  I’ve shared it several times over the years, and it seemed like an appropriate time.  Afterward we drove home, talking about various things, went to bed, life going on as usual.

But then this afternoon I received an unexpected text message.  From Jeff.  It read:

“I have a confession. I know who gave you that check. But they had no idea what your circumstances were.”  Again, my jaw dropped. What?  Really?!

Tonight as Jeff walked in the door I stood looking up at him, hands on my hips, and smiled.

“It was YOU?”

He grinned.  “I just thought it was time you should know.” 

The story is still as amazing, because Jeff had no idea how in-need I was at the time. He just felt it was the right thing to do. Little did either of us know at the time he was simply giving to his other half!

How like God to not only shower me with His love in such a tangible way, but to even use my future husband to do it.  To show me that even when I felt alone and vulnerable, He was using a co-worker brother in the Lord, who would become my husband, to care for me.  It still amazes me.

Now I’m not in awe of the anonymity, but of how cool God is, how creative, and how great His love is for us.  Thank you babe, and thank you God, for that first check you gave me, and for all the paychecks ever since. 🙂

{Thanks, friends, for reading.}