Great is Our God.

I feel like for the past few weeks blogging has been a challenge, because there is so much I want to write about, but can’t yet.  And I will still wait to share details until certain people have been able to share certain things, but I’d happily email with you if you’re interested!

As any of you who have followed this blog, or our lives, know, we’ve had a few disappointments in the past few years, related to ministry.  We’ve both sensed God’s call on Jeff’s life to be a pastor, that He’s called us to serve Him full-time in vocational ministry, and yet the 4 1/2 year “shelved” period has been long, at least for us it has felt long.  The San Jose experience, though God’s grace shown through it and has taught more than any other life lesson, still haunted us.  We didn’t realize it until this past week.  We were basically offered the job of Jeff’s dreams, I’ll tell you that much.  I was so overwhelmed with joy I was weeping. It was like everything God had hard-wired into Jeff was wrapped up in this opportunity, and it also had glorious implications for me as well.  Then due to really simple circumstances, we had to wait 2 weeks for it to be official (for us to find out the details).  Again, due to simple circumstances, we didn’t hear anything for a little while, and both Jeff and I thought of the worst.  By the time we had our meeting yesterday Jeff and I were both convinced that the whole thing would fall apart, they would back out, and since we’d gone ahead and closed the door on the other opportunities in our life, we would be flat on our backs again, with nothing…just like in San Jose. 

I didn’t really make the connection until Jeff called his dear friend Adam and shared his anxiety with him. Adam said, “Bro, you know they’re not going to back out.  The San Jose thing has really wounded you, hasn’t it?”  At the same time I had emailed my mom and asked her to pray for us as we both felt so vulnerable and anxious, afraid they would back out at the last minute, or only pay us a pittance which we’d be unable to live on.  She wrote back, “It’s startling to see how much San Jose has scarred you.”  I sat and stared at those words realizing she was right.  So Jeff and I began to pray.  We know a cautious heart was wise, not taking anything for granted, not assuming anything, and not having expectations.  But we also know God did not want us to be in a place of constant fear, dreading that any future ministry employer would use us or turn on us or back out on us at any moment’s notice.  After spending time on our knees, we came to the place where we could say, “Even if that happens again, we’ll be ok.  Even if God makes us re-live our hurt from San Jose, we’ll be ok, because God is faithful.  He is our hope, our provider, our sustainer.”  Even writing those words brings tears to my eyes now…as I look at the rest of the story.

Suffice it to say, our experience yesterday was as if God took every single hurtful thing we’d ever experienced from our ministry disappointments … and reversed it.  Through the generosity, love, care, attention, and support of those we are partnering with, we were left in absolute awe of God.  Truly above and beyond anything we could have ever imagined. 

This morning as I opened up my Bible for my quiet time, I knew it was no accident.  As I read through the book of Joel, that classic passage, spoken to the children of Israel, became new for me in a whole new way, showing me the heart of my loving Father.  It was if God were saying

“So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locusts has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, my great army which I sent among you.  You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt wondrously with you.”  (Joel 2:25-26) 

Tears streamed down my face as I read.  This is my God.  My good God.  Yes, I know there are more trying times ahead, probably more trying than I can even imagine. But right now, at this moment, looking over the past 4 1/2 years, I can only say that God is so good.  I will share more details in the next few weeks, but for right now, I just had to share my joy with you.  We turn our eyes to God and praise Him, for He is holy, He is worthy, He is good. His ways are perfect.  His love beyond our comprehension.  Great is our God. 

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Jeff has shared more on this (with more detail) from his perspective.  Check out his thoughts…