I am, by nature, a rule-follower, and I like clear-directives and black and white answers. Please leave out the gray, thank you very much. Just tell me what I need to do.
Of course our Heavenly Father, the Almighty Creator God of the Scriptures, continually reminds us that it is not about rules but relationship. So just when I think I have a nice clear-cut rule to live by, He loves to frustrate it all to pieces and remind me to live by relationship.
Of course there are clear-cut principles in Scripture, but Christianity is not primarily about principles but rather, a Person. So while the Person of Christ will obviously never contradict what He has supernaturally revealed in His Word, there may be ways that we can follow Scripture’s broad mandates and yet miss the essence of Christianity–relationship.
So apply all this to giving. Specifically, apply all this to our Adventure in Giving. We’ve been at it for 2 months now (giving 41% and living on a very, very tiny–did I mention tiny?–amount of money, by US standards), and of course there have been many amazing blessings. But in classic God-fashion, He used the blessings not just to show us that He is the Provider, but also to teach me a little bit about giving … and receiving.
Lesson From a Cell Phone
Jeff’s old phone was awful. It would just randomly turn off all the time, and since we have no land-line and that’s the phone he uses for work, it was especially tricky. But he wasn’t up for an upgrade and seeing that we’d given all our money away :), there was no new phone on the horizon. Well the funniest thing happened one morning: I slept through alarm (which has never happened in the entire year of prayer meetings), and so I was late for my 6am Morning Prayer meeting and then couldn’t even leave the house to meet up with the ladies because I couldn’t get a hold of Jeff (because he was at Starbucks studying and his phone had gone and turned off). So, long story, because of some crazy circumstances, the ladies in my prayer meeting (who knew I was trying to track down Jeff) ran into him at Starbucks where they had to meet since they couldn’t get into the church building (since I had the keys). So they just happened to run into him, which reminded him of my meeting, which made him look down at his phone, which made him express out loud how frustrating it was that his phone always turned off. Well of course they overheard this and next thing you know they start praying that Jeff can get a new phone. 🙂 (Gotta love prayer-warriors!) Well that weekend wouldn’t you know it, but $300 cash was tucked under our doormat along with a note about places to buy high-quality smart-phones. Ha!
But this is going somewhere… Jeff ended up contacting a friend of his who works at Verizon and we ended up being able to work some deal where Jeff did get an upgrade, so he had a choice. For just under the amount they gave us he could get brand new Droid (top of the line phone) and we could both get ear-pieces so that we can drive and talk (I didn’t have one and his didn’t work). OR, of course he could get a much cheaper phone and we could not get ear-pieces. But then we’d have a bunch of money leftover.
A choice. If you know me you are smiling because you know that my logic would always be–buy the cheaper phone, go without the ear-pieces, give the rest of the money away. Why should we have a super nice phone when some people have no food?!
But you know what? The dear people who gave us that money gave it to us for a phone. I know that they love Jeff dearly and want him to have the very best resources for ministry so that he can talk, text, send emails, get connected easily, and get calls done while driving. I happen to know that they know that technology is his love-language :). Bottom line? They wanted to bless him. To give the money away to something else was not an option. In fact, I think it would have been wrong.
Or, more accurately, it wouldn’t be appropriate stewardship. Right? Stewarding means that you use and invest the money that is entrusted to you according to the desires/values/wishes of the owner. If this generous person gave us money for a phone and I went and gave it all away to someone else instead, that’s not stewarding the money according to the wishes of the giver. It’s not just a wad of cash. There’s a relationship behind those 15 twenty-dollar bills and there’s a desire to bless. We honor the giver by simply receiving the gift with joy and thanksgiving.
I’m sure you see the application. All of our money is God’s, that one thing is clear. If anything I can say that that has been the lesson that is hammered home this past fall as we studied James and our Mission: Hope series. I’ve handed over our money, our house, everything. And while I DO think that 9 times out of 10 we keep way too much for ourselves and give way too little to the real needs of others, Jeff and I sense that perhaps the story of the $300 was a little illustration for us. The appropriate use of that money was to use it to acquire what the giver intended, and then also to use whatever was left over in order to further God’s kingdom in other ways. An inappropriate use of that money would be to buy less than what the giver intended and then give away the rest. Again, in either scenario all of the money is used for Kingdom purposes, right? So then what does it matter? It matters because there is a relationship, and because the giver, in this case, wanted to provide a specific blessing for us and for our ministry. To disregard their wish would be wrong. (unless of course it was foolish or sinful, of course–which it was not)
So all that to say that I will not lie, the past 2 months have carried a lot of stress as I’ve tried to live on a ridiculously small amount of money. Yes, it has been a growing and learning experience, as I feel like we’ve tasted perhaps a teeny tiny bit of what it’s like to live in a situation where you don’t have the freedom to go to the store and buy milk when you want to. We’ve eaten a lot of bread and rice :),but I know that that is still ABUNDANCE compared with how most of the world lives. So, in that way it’s been a great experiment. But we both sense that perhaps the Giver intended for us to use a tiny bit more of that money that He gave us. To refuse to receive it is not appropriate stewardship. Bottom line? We’ve decided to cut back on our giving a tiny bit.
Now I’m not talking about giving up on giving!! The difference we’re “taking back” is only 3.8%, which drops us down to giving about 37% instead of 41%. You know what the real difference is? I think I pridefully liked the idea of giving such a large percentage. How gross is that? Ick. Isn’t pride sickening? So I think God wanted to both cut me some slack in the budget department and cut me down a notch in the pride department. 🙂 I’m thankful for both.
But here’s the cool thing, while I’ll admit I felt deflated at first by realizing we “couldn’t do it” (as if it were some personal challenge or something, again all based on pride, yuck), the awesome part is that we’ve gotten so accustomed to living on little, that now to have that extra 3.8% I feel like we’re rich!! I even bought sparkling cider to have on Christmas! I’m so excited to fill my car up with gas and know that I’m not taking away my children’s grocery money! 🙂 So, all in all, there is much to be thankful for.
And, we still get to continue partnering with some awesome ministries, sponsoring some beautiful children, and supporting our wonderful home church. It’s a win win. And for now we still live in our home (no bites yet). That too is an open hand. If God says stay we stay. If He says go we go. I do wish it would sell because I’d love to free up all those resources for other things, but I’m thankful for the reminder that it’s all about a relationship with our Heavenly Father who is the most gracious Giver the world has ever known.
So I pray this Christmas you give–and receive–with joy, grace, and overwhelming gratitude as you revel in your relationship with our Beautiful Savior. He is so good.