The Ark (Part 3)
… Okay let’s finish this story!
So, in January, we were generously given a raise by the elders of our church. At first was uncomfortable with receiving this increase. This was God’s money! Plus, we were fine. We weren’t starving, and we literally had no needs. We are clothed, we have cars, we have plenty. But again, as I went to the Lord in prayer, I kept sensing Him saying to receive because this was part of the journey. We had become comfortable with being conduits of His love and resources in teeny tiny amounts, and He wanted us to be willing to be conduits of His love and resources in larger ways now.
Plus, to my amazement, because we had whittled down our monthly budget to such a small amount, this “extra” now put us in a completely different position to look for the Ark. I still didn’t have a $ amount, but I began to see that this was all part of God making the impossible possible.
Then I accidentally sold our house.
Ha! Yes, that’s right. This is the part of the story where I say, “Wives, don’t do this.” Jeff laughed so hard saying,
“You sold our house out from under me!” Haha.
Actually all I did was click that teeny tiny button on Zillow that says “Make Me Move.” I was praying and fasting, and the idea came to mind so I did it.
Yeah, like, I did it without asking Jeff. (Cringe face.)
Thankfully, he laughed later and said it was fine, but we received a FLOOD (ha!) of calls with interested buyers. We agreed to just show the house to two people who seemed most eager. The second one came and cried when she saw the house she loved it so much, and offered full price. Jeff agreed, we accepted.
So, um … now what?
The same day we received the offer, a house popped up on the market. I had no filters on my search at all, but it caught my eye because it was 4.5 acres and it looked like …
… an ARK.
The front angled out like the bow of a boat and there were decks all the around. I looked closer. 4.5 acres. Two full living spaces. Huge shop. Wood stove. On a well.
With a pond and creek.
Oh good grief!
My eyes widened. Was this for real? And, with the more-than-expected equity from our house-sale, it would be the exact amount we’d already been approved for, with our new income.
We went to see it and it rang so clearly in my heart, “This is it.” The kids, of course, were ecstatic. We’d seen some absolute hovels of houses, and after seeing all those dives they couldn’t believe we were actually considering a house that they LIKED! Haha, and that’s how I felt. I was like, “Wait what?! This house is actually pretty! I didn’t expect pretty to be part of the process.” I thought it would be like an old school, or a warehouse, or some weird thing like that, I didn’t expect it to be clean and lovely! Of course I would never have picked green countertops or some of the other stylistic parts of the house, but I didn’t give a rip about those things.
This was THE ARK!
Of course I was thrilled at seeing this God-thing come to pass. It was so remarkable I could barely believe it, but then would come the uprooting of more heart-issues. God doesn’t waste anything, and He used this blessing to show me lingering sin in my heart …
Bet you can’t wait for that! Haha. 😉 More soon!
The Ark (Part 2)
{Continuing the story from yesterday! So sorry to keep you waiting!}
… So we prayed and asked God to show us what to look for. Altogether we sensed 7 things, but they came one at a time. I think if He’d showed us everything all at once, we’d have laughed in disbelief and abandoned the whole adventure altogether.
First, He had to help me abandon an incomplete view of what it means to be faithful financial stewards.
See, I’m the Faithfully Frugal girl. I wrote the book, people! And I wholeheartedly agree with every word in there, but I hadn’t realized how much I’d equated frugality with godliness.
With good reason. Nine times out of ten, erring on the side of frugality is going be a safe bet. We’re a nation of over-spenders, often over-indulging ourselves while refusing to help our brothers and sisters with real needs. God had done such a dramatic work in my heart regarding finances and frugality, that I was zealous for frugality.
But in October, God began revealing to me, that although my passion for frugality was well-intended, He wanted to take me deeper. He wanted to teach me to the way of the Kingdom, living as a child of God.
In October I distinctly heard, “I no longer want you to make decisions based on money.”
Say what?! Then how on earth would I make them? Yes, we gave generously overseas and to our local church, but in my day-to-day decision-making, I almost always made decisions simply based on what was cheaper. At restaurants, gifts, groceries, choices of all kinds. My go-to, default, decision-making process was almost always What’s cheaper? or What’s the better deal?
That’s fine for some things, but it’s terribly incomplete. It often isn’t motivated by love, faith, or the gospel. It’s motivated by a passionate commitment to spending as little as possible.
Again, that might be a good place to begin, but I sensed the Father saying from now on He wanted me to confer with Him about every single financial decision, and trust His leading (with my husband, of course) and buy or not buy what He wanted, regardless of price.
Ok, this might seem like no big deal to you, but this was a HUGE SCARY DEAL to me. I kept thinking, “This is fine and dandy for those people with plenty of money, but what about for us?! We can’t afford to be willy nilly with our finances!”
I could almost hear Him laughing. Of course this wasn’t “willy nilly” … this was learning to live more fully in relationship with the Father, not with a commitment to a certain financial principle. I felt so scared to step outside my comfort zone in this way. But you know what? I did it and …
It was awesome! I found myself being so much more generous, buying gifts for people because I genuinely thought it would be their very favorite, not just because it was on sale. I had so much fun dreaming up ways to bless others. I found myself feeling so FREE!
And to my everlasting amazement, of course, we never lacked. 😉
In the midst of this, when I asked God to show me what price range to search for as we looked for the Ark, I kept sensing,
“No. I don’t want you to have a house in a certain price range, I want you to have the house I have for you.”
Um… ok?
But I had no idea what to look for!
So again, we prayed, and slowly but surely, over the next 4 months, seven things kept coming back to our hearts & minds.
- Big. (Not real specific.)
- 4 acres. (Real specific!)
- Two living spaces so that our housemates could come with us.
- An outbuilding of some sort.
- On a well.
- Wood-stove.
- With a water source (pond, creek, etc.) on the property.
So…can you see why I was tempted to laugh in unbelief?? Um…have you SEEN house prices in the Portland area? Sky high! Have you SEEN the million-dollar price-tags on anything that would have all 7 of these items? Seriously I felt like Sarah when she was told she’d have a baby at 90-years-old!
But, the Ark impression kept coming back in alarming frequency. I’ll spare you all the specifics, but it seemed everywhere I turned there was a reference to Noah and the ark, specifically Jesus’ references to this in the gospels.
But again, would money rain down from heaven? How on earth would this happen?
More tomorrow! Thanks for reading.
Global 6K for Water {Join us!}
Things are officially crazy-town at my house. I’m finalizing edits on the book, we’re moving in 9 days and I have yet to pack a single box, then it’s Good Friday and Easter, then after moving we leave the country for a week. I want to help my kids transition well through this season, so I basically need to say, “Dear World, I am unavailable until April 15th. Thanks bye!” I apologize in advance for my lack of online presence. Please extend grace!
But while my life feels hectic right now, I cannot imagine if I had to do it all without water, or if I had to send my kids to walk more than 4 miles each day, down to the Willamette river to fetch (filthy!) water in a bucket for us to drink.
This is the reality for many moms and kids in Africa each day.
But, we can help! This Saturday, March 19th, we have an opportunity to join more than 5,000 others around the globe in walking, running, jogging, or skipping a fun 6k to help provide clean drinking water for kids in Africa.
We are hosting a race in Oregon City, and if you’re local, we’d love to have you join us! We’ll also have a Kids 1k for those littles that aren’t up for the full-length.
DATE: March 19, 2016
TIME: 9:00 AM on Saturday morning
LOCATION: starting and ending at Clackamette Park
1955 Clackamette Dr, Oregon City, OR 97045
Links:
Everything can change in an instant
Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.
(Prov. 13:12)
Everything can change in an instant.
Five minutes before Jesus said, “Come forth!” Lazarus was dead.
Five minutes before Jesus broke the bread, thousands were famished.
Five minutes before Jesus said, “Ephphatha!” the man was completely deaf.
Five minutes before touching His garment, the bleeding woman was 12-years hopeless.
Five minutes before Jesus said, “Talitha cumi,” the little girl lay lifeless.
It’s darkest before the dawn, and it’s bleakest five minutes before the miracle.
Wednesday night, I had shared with our Bible study women about an area of discouragement. A long journey. Years. Some confusion.
Five minutes after I closed my eyes in sleep that night, a message buzzed on my phone.
The answer.
Some parts were different than I had expected, but it was the answer. Literally, it had come to pass, I just didn’t know it. As I listened, and learned, I realized God had done what I’d prayed for, waited for, longed for.
In an instant everything changed.
How easy it was, then, to rejoice in this new perspective on challenges! I was ready to shout to the world, “God does answer prayer, people! Trust Him! It might take time but He is faithful!” In the rearview mirror, that long rugged path of struggle and confusion is just a distant ribbon of road, past and forgotten. I was brim-full, overflowing with hope, ready to encourage any weary travelers along the road of prayerful perseverance. There are 3 things in my life that I resolutely and daily “claim,” 3 things I will fight, in faith, to receive, because I know they are in line with God’s will and He has placed them heavily on my heart.
This was one of those. That desire fulfilled, that prayer answered, it was most certainly a tree of life! LIFE springs up, hope overflows, faith seems to flourish in abundance.
But two days later, the 2nd prayer item plummeted.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick. How quickly my hope wavers, heartsick. Yes, God accomplished one amazing feat, but this one? Maybe this is the one that’s too audacious. I’m so foolish for praying for something so seemingly impossible. Why risk disappointment? Why subject myself to these tears, this heartache?
Why not just “accept” the circumstances and move on?
Because Jesus didn’t tell us to do that.
Because just that morning in my Bible study with the kids our passage was Matthew 7:7-11. Heidi had moved her tiny finger along the lines, slowly reading aloud in her sweet little-girl voice,
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!”
The kids giggled at the thought of me handing them a stone for lunch, or dishing up a bowl with a slithering snake in it. Of course not! They understood this lesson loud and clear.
Jesus knew we’d need encouragement. He knew we’d lose heart and lose hope. He knew we’d be tempted to believe that our Father doesn’t want to give us good gifts. He knew we’d be stray from truth and begin crafting theologies to justify our experience instead of pressing in to see our experience fall in line with God’s Word.
He knew hope deferred would make our hearts sick, but He urges us to keep on asking, keep on seeking, keep on knocking, because that answer is a tree of life. It will buttress our beliefs and give us new strength to fight. There’s nothing like experiencing the power of answered prayer.
No wonder there’s so much opposition, urging us to quit.
But let us remind ourselves: Everything can change in an instant.
{Keep on asking, seeking, knocking. Don’t give up! Happy monday; thank you for reading.}
Hope-filled Vision for 2016
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. (Rom. 15:13)
~
Daring to dream takes unreasonable hope.
Those with the most hope win. Hope is what fuels vision, dreams, courage. Hope is the only thing strong enough to keep us pressing on in the face of opposition, discouragement, or drudgery. Hope is the steadfast belief, the certainty that God is who He says He is, He will do what He says He will do, and that all Word-anchored commands and promises can and will be fulfilled if we remain in Him.
Hope is essential for life and hope is essential for vision.
Where there is no prophetic vision, the people perish (Prov. 29:18). Another translation says they “cast off restraint.” Both are true. Without vision, nothing can move forward — movements die, people die, good works die. And, without vision, people “cast off restraint.” That is, there is no discipline. No habits, no faithfulness, no stick-to-it-iveness.
We know this by experience, right? Without a passion and purpose, we lack the motivation to follow through on the hard work of daily habits.
Without vision, we quit.
Instead of the New Years Resolutions, how about pursuing a hope-filled Vision for 2016? This vision informs what Habits you will practice, which will inform what action Plan you pursue.
This way, instead of the uninspiring “read 10 books and lose 5 pounds and try to pray more” sort of deal, you have a real vision of how God wants you to change and grow and mature and flourish this year.
This isn’t about legalism, it’s about lordship.
How will my life become more entirely under the lordship of Jesus Christ in 2016?
After writing out a vision–a dream, really–you are ready to address the habits.
What habits need to be done in order to move in this direction?
Then, when you have a list of habits, look over your year and determine where to begin. Typically, it’s most helpful to begin with what bothers you most. It’s amazing how tackling one disorderly area (in your home or life) inspires change in every other area. This is your plan. It’s most effective to tackle one habit at once, focusing exclusively on that until it’s mastered. The New Year may be a great time to make a plan for 10-12 new habits, but it’s not a great time to begin 10-12 new habits.
It’s a great time to begin one.
Plan for 12, begin with 1.
So, I suggest taking some time to pray and ask God to show you a renewed vision for your life. Then brainstorm a bit and journal your thoughts. Here are a few questions/exercises to get us started:
VISION: What 10-12 words would you want to describe your life? If you wrote your obituary in 4-5 sentences, how would it read? What would it look like to have complete victory in a troublesome area of your life? What would freedom look like? Where have you not yet surrendered completely to His control? In a sentence, what is your mission or purpose for your life and family?
HABITS: What virtues or character qualities would be absolutely crucial in order to have a life like that? What habits do you observe being regularly practiced by those you most admire? List out 10-12 habits or virtues you most desire to see in your life. (Examples: Orderliness, Generosity, Kindness, Patience, Temperance, Punctuality, Speaking less, Gratitude, Health, Stewardship.)
PLAN: Which habit or virtue MOST stands out to you as absolutely critical for the mission? Or, which unhealthy habit has the most possibility of sabotaging success in that area? What three concrete behaviors or activities would begin cultivating this one habit or virtue in your life?
The concrete behaviors are just that — behaviors. But they are forming new grooves, new ways of thinking, new habits for becoming a more grateful person. This same rough pattern can be helpful for household habits, eating habits, parenting habits, anything. We start big (a God-given vision)and move our way down to habits (we are what we repeatedly do) and then down to the nitty-gritty: What am I am going to practice doing today? The smaller you start the better! It’s amazing how energizing a little success is!
This isn’t self-help mumbo jumbo, this is receiving a God-inspired vision for your life, the life He created you for, and asking Him for the practical wisdom to walk in the godly habits necessary for His purposes.
According to God, there is hope.
We are only allowed to be hopeless about what God is hopeless about.
Where He sees hope for change, let’s do the same.
{Happy New Year! Thank you for reading.}
Not what you had in mind …
I really just wanted to get out of the house … alone.
It was a great day, really. No complaints. But those littles woke up (why?!) at 6am and we’d been going strong for more than 10 hours and this Mama Just. Needed. A. Break. The library had a book I’d put on hold for Dutch, so I schemed up a secret slipping out the door and brisk 2 mile walk there and back. It’d be so quick they wouldn’t even miss me. Jeff came home, privy to my plan.
“Where are you going????!!!” Eagle-Eye Heidi calls out from the top of the stairs as I tiptoe toward the door. She is practically attached to me, you know.
“I’m just going to walk to the library super fast to get a book for Dutch, I’ll be back before you know it.” I smile wide, reassuring.
“I want to go WITH you!” Of course you do, child.
Jeff urges her back but I’m already resigned. It’s fine. Sure.
“Go put on your shoes!”
Of course this means finding adequate shoes for such a hike, after a long summer where all we wore were flip flops. They surface. Now we need socks. We find socks. Tug on over her clammy kid-feet. Shoes are somehow shoved on (Note to self: we need the next size up!). Laces tied. She stands …
“There’s a BUMP in my sock. Can you please fix it?!”
I close my eyes. Really? Off go the shoes. Off go the socks. Said bump isn’t found but she’s satisfied with my search. Shoes go back on. As I fiddle with her laces ..
“Mommy can I come too? I can’t WAIT to see my book!” Dutch has bounded down the stairs, is already digging for his shoes, eyes all light.
Jeff trails down the stairs, eyes apologizing. “Guys, Mommy needs some time …”
“It’s ok,” I interrupt, “Really. Let’s do it. Family walk.”
Dutch’s shoes are equally small and impossible. Finally we are all shod. Twenty-five minutes have past. I would have been back by now.
But then … we open the door, and I step into life.
I step into this life. This is the one I have and this is the one I will rejoice in. There will be year–years–for long walks alone. Too many years of it, probably.
So we skip. We bound. We race and feels our hearts beating and rest while watching garden spiders eat their evening meal. We smile and wave at people on porches and Heidi asked approximately 8,000 questions.
And after books are tucked under our arms, we walk–slower now–back. The hill seems steeper than before so the kids make a special request: “Can we stop at those benches and read?!”
So we do. And traffic blurs by while kids fall forwards into fiction worlds, pages turn, lost in imagination, while Jeff and I fraternize from opposite park benches facing each other, and I don’t know how long past but finally we rose to finish the journey home.
Then it started pouring rain.
And so, for the last half-mile, kids mounted high on our backs, we run, gasping for air up the last few hills, and laughing that of course it’s raining now. We arrive, exhausted and overflowing all at once.
This walk was not what I had in mind … but so much better.
That’s life right? This, whatever this is for you, is not what you had in mind … but so much better.
So much more exhausting and exhilarating. So much more challenging and rewarding. So much harder and so much sweeter.
It’s not what you had in mind … but so much better.
{For whatever walks you take this week. Thanks for reading.}
*Originally shared September, 2014
Mend the nets
Hello from the lovely (and remote) Camp Tadmor. The wifi’s not working so I’m thumbing out these thoughts on my phone and while I’m tempted to apologize for the brevity, it strikes me that you’re probably grateful for a refreshingly short tidbit today, as I’m usually a bit long-winded. 🙂 just an hour ago I said goodbye to my littles and my man, his myself in my room, and cried my eyes out. I hate leaving them, always, I miss them so much.
But I’m here and right HERE is where He, the Father, has me, and what am I doing?
Mending nets.
I have the joy of teaching on Courageous Community, the call to be ONE as Jesus prayed we would be in John 17, and as I’ve prayed and prepared for this, I keep seeing this picture of mending nets.
I spent the week on Lake Foster and thought a bit about fishing. We mostly fish with hooks, for fun, but Jesus’ disciples, true fishermen by trade, fished with nets.
And Jesus calls us fishers of men.
We are called to catch people with the power and love of Jesus Christ and gather them into the fabulous family if God. This is our vocation, all of us, together.
But sadly, often our nets are torn.
Every broken relationship, every division, every unforgiveness, each one snaps a single cord in the net. Add those all up and you have a ratty, ineffective net that’s not much use at all.
But how do we mend nets?
One string at a time. Each broken cord must be repaired, reconnected.
Reconnected one by one.
Large-scale moves of unity are only as effective as our small-scale acts of reconciliation, forgiveness, kindness, grace.
One at a time we mend Christian Community’s ragged net.
Who can you reconnect with today? Who can you pursue? Forgive? Prefer? Who can you love?
Whether someone in your home, your work, your present or your past, consider this weekend how you can mend nets, one relationship at a time, so we can fish hearts for the glory of God.
{happy weekend; thanks for reading.}
On baking bread and slow days
On slow days I bake bread.
Sometimes three loaves, if I know the pace is about to pick up or the afternoons are about to get hot. I only use my oven on cool, slow days.
Wednesday was my slow day. The last cool day on the forecast, the kids were happy to be home, and when I returned from exercise they were nowhere to be seen–lost in imagination, hidden in large cardboard boxes turned to transmogifiers and time-machines and secret hide-outs and space ships. There are 12 of these giant boxes currently on my back porch: I long ago gave up on strict tidiness. My kids’ creative inventions aren’t always cute, in fact, most often they’re eye-sores.
But I figure I have decades ahead for a tidy, cute house.
No doubt then I’ll ache with missing these cardboard-box days.
So I let them make believe, and I make bread.
My mom was a bread baker. A legendary one. A paleo-dieter would not have lasted long in her kitchen. Her crescent rolls–buttery, perfectly-puffed-up, slightly golden brown on top–were a staple at every holiday. She taught me how to feel the dough, the right warmth and elasticity. She taught me how to knead with quarter turns, sweeping flour slightly underneath, pushing the heels of my hands down and pulling up gently with my fingers to pull the dough over on itself–rhythmic. She showed me perfect bread isn’t as much science as art, and her recipes included lines like, “Add flour until the dough feels right.”
At lunch time, I call the littles and slice a loaf into sandwiches, heavily-loaded with chicken-salad. Their eyes light up: It’s their favorite lunch. We sit on the steps of the back-porch, surrounded by boxes, and silently savor our simple feast.
Later, while I’m wiping up crumbs, Dutch calls: “Mommy, will you come sit with me?” He’s on the front porch, perched on the wooden railing, feet dangling over the edge, above the flowers far below. I join him, carefully perched on the railing, my legs dangling beside his.
He is my nature-boy. He once remarked that the ocean was his best friend. Today he points out colors–the purple japanese maple, the light-green new-growth, the dark cedar branches, the “sunset orange” (his words) zinnias and white-magenta striped pansies. He thinks the pansies look like purple tigers.
“I’m so happy, mommy. This is my favorite thing. If only people could just be happy with what they have, the trees and flowers and bugs. Then we wouldn’t have so many problems.”
I smile at his philosophizing.
We stay there, on the porch, dangling legs, and I think of kneading dough: Think of how often parenting baffles me, until I slow down and put my hands on it and feel–then I know when it’s right. I think of gently forming loaves and lives and letting them rise slowly, on their own. I think of watching and waiting to see these rounds turn golden, almost ready.
So often I think I need a trip to the store and a parenting book.
More often I need a slow day to bake bread and dangle legs.
{Here’s to slow days. Happy Weekend! Thanks for reading.}