Category Archives: Uncategorized

If you’re considering homeschooling and have a heap of questions, please know: You’re not alone.

We’re in strange times, and never before have I heard from so many parents who are considering homeschooling their children next year.

If that’s you, let me just say: This site is a virtual treasure-trove. From the “Start Here” links above (fabulous stuff!) to Jamie’s simple 3-hour homeschool game-plan, to the annual “Day in the Life” series, to posts on nearly every topic you can imagine, this site has always been my go-to for advice, links, and encouragement.

We just finished our 8th year homeschooling, and there are a few overarching things I wish I would have grasped more fully before we began.

Perhaps they can be helpful as you consider your plan for the days and years ahead: … Read the rest over at Simple Homeschool. Thanks!

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Heb. 10:24-25

A few things are concerning me right now, and none of them are Covid-19. That’s not discounting or dismissing the danger of the virus (it’s real!) and it’s not a political statement. I’m not concerned about whether or not I have to wear a mask in the grocery store. I’m not even terribly concerned about when we’ll be able to gather in a large-group, in our church building (though I am SO looking forward to that!).

I’m concerned that we, and we includes me, are getting distracted from our calling, purpose, and mission.

In January, as I asked God whether He had a word for me for 2020, a sort of guiding direction for my life, I was not a little surprised when I clearly heard, “Encouragement.”

Encouragement?? What sort of word is that? It isn’t even a Verb! I’m a verb girl, God!

Encouragement. It felt a little flat, honestly. But I wrote it down, and purposed to figure out what on earth God wanted me to do with it.

In March, I attended a workshop titled, “How to Have Difficult Conversations.” I didn’t want to go, but I knew I needed to, as even the mention of difficult conversations makes me break out in hives. I hate them, I’m bad at them, ministry is full of them—I went.

At the bottom of the handout was a Recommended Reading list, and the #1 recommended read was a book called, ready for it?

Encouragement.

Written Larry Crab and Dan Allender (I love them both!), I had a hunch this was probably the direction God was going with me. I bought it.

It’s a short book, but I’ve been going through it slowly, because it’s so good and I’m wrecked by how short I fall of being an truly encouraging person.

In short, to be an encouraging person, my overarching goal, in every personal interaction, is to minister to that person. That is, my goal is to listen and seek understanding so that I can become aware of the person’s hidden fears (we all have them) and speak words from love and targeted toward diminishing, and destroying, that fear.

How often do I go onto Facebook with the goal of seeing who I can encourage today?

When I’m getting ready for church in the morning do I ask God how I can be an encouragement to others today?

When I interact with my children, my husband, my housemates, do I inwardly seek opportunities to speak encouragement and life into their lives?

Sadly, the truth is, most often my underlying goal is some form of self-protection. Looking out for self. Defending self. Ensuring I’m not hurt. Guaranteeing my viewpoint is heard. Championing my view.

Why is it so hard to set aside self for the sake of encouraging others?

I can’t speak for anyone else but me: For me, it’s because it is terrifying to completely let go of looking out for self. Who will look out for me?

To give ourselves to the encouragement, strengthening, building up, and blessing of others, means abandoning ourselves to the care of …

God.

I don’t say this flippantly. Letting go of looking out for self isn’t an abstract thing—it plays out in real life, flesh and blood ways that sometimes feel painful. But isn’t this what we’re called to? Isn’t our purpose, as followers of Jesus, to seek the good and welfare of others? Aren’t we called to consider how to stir each other up toward love and good deeds, encouraging each other all the more as we see the day approaching.

I do believe that there is crazy stuff going on in our world. It sure seems like we are seeing the day approaching! But I can get so caught up in it that I completely forget what God told me to do in these days that we’re in!

Encourage. Reach out. Listen. Try to understand what’s going on beneath the layers. People are afraid, and it’s not just the people wearing masks.

I have definitely been battling discouragement, for a variety of reasons. And I’m struck by the fact, again and again, that I don’t usually find courage, strength, energy, and resolve by someone posting another click-bait news article on Facebook, or someone “speaking out” on another issue.

I’m encouraged when someone listens to me. When someone checks on me and asks how I’m doing. When someone send me a funny meme or gif or message that says they identify with how I’m feeling. Even when someone who loves me cares enough to speak a hard word about why I’m discouraged, identifying an idol that’s robbing my joy. Hard words, spoken from people who love me, are welcomed!

So I’m writing this to myself first and foremost. Writing things is a form of accountability for me. I endeavor to be an encourager. I think it’s critical we keep this front and center, all the more as we see the day drawing near.

Thanks for reading.

I quizzed my kids the other day by reading them part of an article by Deepak Chopra and asking them whether it was true and theologically sound. It brought up a great discussion, the gist of it was this:

Are we to resist evil or not?

In the cited article, Chopra states that Jesus told his followers in Matthew 5:39, “Do not resist evil.” He went on to say that Jesus “gave in to evil and is worshipped for it.” He then blasts Christians by saying that they ignore this teaching and instead “seek revenge” on terrorists, Nazis, murders, and pedophiles. Apparently, Chopra thinks that Jesus words in Matthew 5 (and His going to the cross) mean that Christ-followers should never resist wrongdoing in this world. He concludes, “Now that … punishing all evil-doers to the absolute maximum is the most Christian thing to do, we can all rest easy. Jesus’s most radical ideas have been washed clean from our memories and our conscience.”

A few thoughts:

• First, he misquotes Jesus’ words. Just a slight twist, but it’s in there. My ESV says, “Do not resist the one who is evil.” Some translations say, “Do not resist the evildoer.” In the Greek it literally reads, “Do not resist THE evil.” The word for evil can be translated an evildoer, or just evil. But no matter how the English comes out, it’s clear that Jesus isn’t just making a blanket statement, “Do not resist evil.”

• Jesus came “to destroy the works of the devil” (1 John 3:8). Obviously the works of the devil are … EVIL. How can you destroy something without resisting it? Clearly Jesus came to resist and to destroy evil.

• James tells us, “Resist the devil” (James 4:7). If we are never to resist evil, how on earth would be resist the devil? Is it possible to tease the two apart? I can’t imagine how on earth you would do that.

So what is a Jesus-follower to do?

Follow Jesus exact words, His methods, His ways.

Jesus overturned evil by personally suffering evil. He resisted evil by refusing to retaliate. The context of Matthew 5:39 is Jesus saying, “Turn the cheek. Offer the cloak. Go the second mile.” When mistreated, Jesus is saying, “There’s actually a better tactic than just merely resisting (or retaliating against) the person mistreating you.”

Don’t fight the person, fight FORCE behind that person.

To Chopra’s credit, though I hate to admit it, I do think some of his observation is correct: As a whole, we Christians haven’t done a great job of enduring personal mistreatment. We’re a very quick lot to defend ourselves. But he’s also mangling Jesus’ message, and (it seems) using the criticism to discredit Christianity as a whole. That sort of sloppy theology and finger-pointing isn’t super helpful, in my opinion.

There’s a lot more I’d love to say, but for now … What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

“It’s all about soil.”

I spoke this across the room to Jeff, out of the blue, while in the middle of reading Red Fish, Blue Fish to Justice. He looked at me, completely lost.

“That’s it. Same external environment, same seeds, same treatment, same timeframe. One pea planting is 3-feet high and one is 3-inches. It’s all about soil.”

Of course he knew I wasn’t talking about plants, per se, but the observation was certainly true on that level. We re-filled all our planter boxes with premium garden soil this year, and the growth is incredible, compared with the rest of the garden. Just yesterday our housemate observed, “You’ve never had this kind of success!”

It’s true, I said. We swapped out the soil.

The deeper level comment was in response to a question I’d been wrestling with: Why, under the same circumstances, do some people seem to grow and thrive and bear ongoing fruit and others don’t?

Of course, I’m including “seem to” because we can’t truly determine what growth is happening deep down, inside. But we can certainly observe fruit! We’re told to!

Jesus sheds light on this dilemma, I think, when He talks about soil. Just as I observed in my garden, Jesus clearly says that the key, in whether the seed of the gospel bears fruit manifold or not, simply comes down to soil.

“And some [seed] fell into good soil and it grew and yielded fruit a hundredfold.”

Luke 8:8

So then the question is: What is good soil and how do we get it?

It seems to be two-fold. In Luke 8:15 Jesus says, “As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience.”

Good soil: Honest and good heart. Patience.

But in Matthew 13:23 Jesus says, “But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it.”

Good soil: Hearing God’s Word and understanding it.

Which is it? Yes.

As much as I’d like to blame external circumstances, the condition of my heart is the variable that determines the fruitfulness of my life.

And while that can feel defeating, as if I’m doomed to a life of stunted growth because of my bad soil, the opposite is too. Just as we were able to switch out the soil in our planter boxes, you can swap out the soil of your heart.

Our new soil cost us $114 and a good hour of shoveling (ok, Dutch & Jeff did all the shoveling). New soil in our hearts is going to take a much bigger investment, but friends: Nothing else matters more. Using Jesus words, we could safely say the swap out entails:

1. Pursuing honesty and integrity, before God and others.
2. Accepting difficulty and delays with patience.
3. Regularly receiving the Word of God and working to understand it.

There are other aspects to the parable, of course. The cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choke out the seed. Shallowness makes the seed spring up quickly with enthusiasm, then die in the face of difficulty. Lack of understanding allows the enemy to snatch away the seed before it has a chance to bear fruit.

But really, it’s all about the soil.

What we desperately need, what I desperately need, is to do the work of swapping out the soil of my heart by continually pursuing those three things. We don’t have control over our circumstances. We might be “free” but we are most certainly not in control. We don’t get to choose what plague or persecution will face us in our lifetime, but we do get to choose whether or not we will make the priority of pursuing good soil in our hearts, so that God can bear fruit a hundred-fold in our lives no matter what harsh environment comes our way.

{Thank you for reading.}

Who would have thought that a book about cognitive biases, self-righteousness, and Adolf Eichmann, architect of the Nazi’s “final solution,” could have me laughing out loud and breathing a deep sigh of relief as I settle into the realization, all over again, that I can indeed lighten up and let God be God.

Letting go of self-righteousness might be the most freeing thing we ever do. It’s a slow and subtle trap and it feels so right all along the way. The “righteous indignation” we nurse as we look at the world around us, the fierce loyalty we feel towards our party, our camp, our opinion, the airtight case we silently build as we mentally dispute those who disagree with us.

It’s a full-time job, y’all, having to be right all the time.

The truth is: You guys, we’re a mess. Salvation can’t come until our prayers are no longer looking around at those we deem losers and saying, “Thank you, God that I’m not like THEM,” but we finally, inwardly, truthfully, just beat our chests and go, “Oh my goodness, Lord Jesus, have mercy on me, a sinner.”

The chest-beaters, the mess-ups that know it, the ones with eyes downcast, not looking around at everyone else, they’re the ones who will be justified.

For me personally, the book spoke loud and clear one thing I needed to hear: Lighten up.

When did the weight of following Jesus become SO VERY HEAVY? When did we start believing we have to have an opinion on everything? When did everything become a cause of outrage? When did I become so easily overwhelmed by the everyday struggles and conflicts of life?

None of this is new. Kari, there is good news. It is that Jesus has inaugurated a New Kingdom and it’s totally upside down and all this stuff we see is but a shadow and He actually said that His yoke is EASY and His burden is LIGHT. Why? Not because the work is easy, not because the weight of the world is light, but because HE CARRIES IT.

This whole wild circus that we call the World?! Jesus isn’t freaking out. Jesus isn’t panicking. In fact, He’s SITTING DOWN. He’s seated at the right hand of the Father and He’s patiently waiting to return and set everything straight, and as I cling to Him and trust Him, and seek justice and love mercy and walk humbly with Him, He’s going to go ahead and run the world and in the end I’m pretty sure I’ll be wrong about more than 1/2 the things I think I’m right about. But if I have trusted Him and walked in humility and fled from sin and pride, I think there will be a place for me, with Him, in a great eternal kingdom. Oh man, you guys: I’m so so glad for this.

So yeah, buy the book: Looks like the best deal is here: https://bakerbookhouse.com/products/the-truth-about-us-how-we-fool-ourselves-and-how-god-loves-us-anyway-9780801094514 Or if you live near me, you’re welcome to borrow one of my three copies. 🙂

My pair of cute shoes remind me daily how much everything’s changed.

In mid-February, I was beginning to get the Spring-is-coming itch and wanted a pair of cute spring shoes. I only have cold-weather boots and warm weather sandals, so I thought it’d be reasonable to get a pair of cute sensible springy shoes. Of course, at that point it was still freezing cold and pouring rain, so I didn’t need them at that moment. But I wanted them at that moment, and $30 is a steal so I snagged a pair and set them aside for warmer days.

Little did I know that this Spring I would barely be wearing shoes!

In the last month I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve left my house, and the majority of those trips has been to Winco foods. I don’t need cute shoes to go to Winco foods. Around our property I wear my beat-up trail-running shoes, or muck boots.

Quite frankly, cute spring shoes are useless right now.

It’s a silly example, but it’s interesting how drastically valuations can change, nearly overnight. Suddenly, toilet paper is valuable. Rice is valuable. Butter is valuable (Well, butter was always valuable to me). Giving my money to those in desperate situations worldwide is valuable.

You know what’s worthless right now? Cute shoes.

I was thinking the same thing about people. Suddenly we’re SUPER grateful for grocery-store clerks. (Winco grocery-clerks have been SO cheerful and helpful!) Hospital janitors (!). Nurses. UPS delivery drivers. Unseen Amazon workers filling orders. The garbage-truck driver. People who clean the Costco-stores after hours. Our estimation of them has risen dramatically!

No offense to professional athletes and celebrities, but right now the truck driver and hospital janitor are who I’m celebrating. In fact, could you NBA guys grab a sewing machine and start sewing masks? There’s work to do.

Again I’ll say, disease isn’t good, but God uses all for good. Isn’t this what “reevaluation” is all about? When we “re-evalute,” we’re looking at things with fresh eyes to attempt to place true value on what really matters.

I believe that someday when we wake up in heaven, this will be what it’s like. Suddenly the TRUE VALUE of things will be made clear. That’s why the Bible tells us not to store up treasures here on earth. When we wake up someday to eternal realities, my cute shoes will be turned to dust, but the money or time I invested serving those around me will somehow shine like gold.

Please don’t hear me say cute shoes are bad, but my ill-timed investment in them reminds me: Only God knows what we really need for what’s to come.

I might think that the world needs another book published. He may be telling me to spend my time on other endeavors instead. I might think that we really need XYZ done on our house. He might be telling me that investing in this other direction might be a lot wiser. I might set my sights on a certain career or vocation, but God knows what jobs will even be around in the future.

I’m grateful for the fact that this situation has shown us one thing: Everything can change very quickly and only God has the Omniscient wisdom to guide us through a future that only He knows.

More than ever, we need the humility to ask God for His direction, and trust that He knows best, even if doesn’t make sense. {Thanks for reading.}

I was cooking dinner when the texts came through in short desperate spurts. Panic. Help me?? I asked some questions. Are you willing to…. Waited for a response. Finally:

Yes.

I stood at the stove, praying that this newfound willingness would remain, that the desperation to do whatever it takes would last longer than a virus-scare.

The next morning I re-read Luke 15 and saw something new. You probably know how this goes…

“Give me my inheritance now. I’m sick of living under your thumb. Give me what’s mine and I’ll be on my way.”

The younger son essentially spits in the face of his father, telling him he doesn’t want his presence, doesn’t want his relationship, he just wants his money.

I want resources, not relationship. I want access, not accountability.

And so he goes, this Prodigal Son, and squanders it all with “reckless living.” Later we learn this isn’t just an innocent shopping spree–he fritters his fortune away on prostitutes and self-destructive behaviors.

A parents’ worst nightmare.

But what happens next is interesting, and you may think I’m overstepping my Bible-bounds, but the thread through the Scriptures is unmistakable:

God sends a famine to bring a lost son home.

In the midst of the Prodigal’s wild life, while he’s still in the height of his self-destructive stupidity, “a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need.”

He began to be in need.

Turning point. We often think the turning point is when the prodigal son begins the walk home and the father runs to meet him. But this is the beginning. He’s not coming home yet, but he’s left the prostitutes in favor of working on a farm.

I’d say that’s a great step. He’s humbled. He’s sobered up. He’s desperate. He’s willing to feed pigs. His entitlement is gone.

That’s when he “came to himself.” He remembers the grace and kindness of his father. And he’s willing to return, as a servant, because, he says, “I am no longer worthy to be called your son.”

Our culture would be so quick to interject here, “Oh lost boy, don’t talk like that! You ARE worthy! You ARE enough!”

But you know what? The Prodigal son was spot on. All his self-righteousness is gone: He sees himself for what he truly is. Unworthy.

And into his vast cavern of unworthiness the Good, Good Father pours out His steadfast, relentless grace, and matchless kindness. The older son, who’s still stuck in self-righteousness, is outraged. Hasn’t the father seen the scorecard? Clearly the little brother is a zero.

But the Father isn’t keeping score, he’s giving love. It’s a beautiful story.

But it’s interesting that a country-wide famine is what brought the lost boy to the end of himself. It wasn’t until he began to be in need that things turned around.

A few weekends ago some friends and I looked at the lives of Bible characters and saw the lengths that God goes to in order to get people’s attention.

I don’t pretend to know all that God is doing during our worldwide pandemic, but I have been floored by how many stories there are of God’s individual, personal plans being carried out in people’s lives through the details of this difficult time. Would God send a famine to bring home a lost boy? Would God allow a pandemic to bring us back home to Him? To lead us away from self-destructive patterns and habits and reset our gaze on all that really matters?

Praying constantly for eyes to see what God is doing behind the scenes, and that the need I feel would ever turn me from self-destruction and put me on the path back home to Him. Thanks for reading.

There is a kind of overwhelm that is very real to me and it has nothing to do with trying to have a Pinterest-worthy home or a beach-worthy body. I don’t get overwhelmed comparing my life with others who seem awesome. That isn’t the social-media trigger for me.

But I often feel overwhelmed by ALL THE GOOD CAUSES. Am I alone in this? Anybody else?

Just recently, I could feel that growing sense of overwhelm. The stats presented to me were overwhelming. The urgency was real. I couldn’t — didn’t want to — ignore the very real need presented, but I inwardly wrestled with the same angst I often feel in these situations:

How do I support/champion/care/give/help ALL these amazing causes?

The next morning I sat quietly with God and told Him how I felt. Often when I’m overwhelmed it helps me to write out lists of “all the things” so it loses its vague gloom-cloud feeling and becomes concrete. In my journal I began writing each thing, not just that I know about, but that have been presented to me as a worthy cause, in our world and in my life. I started far out and worked inward. It included:

World:

• Unreached people groups — gospel! 10/40 window
• Relief and development for poor in 3rd world countries: Specifically Next Generation Ministries, Child Sponsorship through World Vision, and Water projects through World Vision (6K for water)
• Homeless/poverty/drug abuse/mental illness here (Mary)
• Abortion (millions of lives) each year
• Racial reconciliation/ immigration/Refugee care (philoxenia) in USA
• Persecuted church worldwide–Voice of the Martyrs
• US and local political involvement (various critical issues)
• Human Trafficking
• Foster care & adoption (CASA)
• Young Lives ministry to single moms

At home:

• Home-educating our big kids, teaching them to love and obey God!
• Training Justice! Constant work & intentionality.
• Cooking (!), cleaning, home management–including the impact of food purchasing decisions on developing nations (fair trade), environmental impact, and HEALTH! Consider all!
• Serving and loving my parents

Local church:

• Shepherding, caring, discipleship
• Addressing marriage crises, addiction within church
• Friendships! Doing life together
• Preaching and healing like Jesus did!

So basically all of these things are swirling around in my heart and mind and every time I hear someone champion one of these things it feels like I need to be all about that things. Not only that, but it feels like there are TRENDS! So it seems like for 6-months or so everyone is all about one thing, and then six months later it feels like we’re all about something else. That’s a terrible overstatement, but at least on social media it can sure feel like that. And with all of my heart, I want to be ALL ABOUT what God is all about! I don’t want to waste my life. But quite frankly, I cannot be ALL ABOUT every single one of these things. Especially not all at once. So, pray tell, how on earth do I navigate it all?

I asked God that. Like, out loud. And I sat and waited, in silence, for Him to answer. I’m not saying this is “thus sayeth the Lord” but so clearly in my heart, I heard,

Fight sin in any form you encounter it.

Ah. I could feel my whole being settle into peace. Yes. Of course. In every single one of these endeavors, the undercurrent is fighting SIN. It is fighting some consequence of the fall. Whether I am fighting my own sin, or working on behalf of someone else who is a victim of sin, if I am actively fighting sin in any form I encounter it, I’m in step with the kingdom of God.

The next step for me was simple–which of these causes has God clearly allowed me to encounter. That is, which causes as God undeniably plopped in front of me in such a way that I know He has called me to this thing.

I made another list. This one was only 6 items long.

Ah. Yes. That is a list I can handle. That is a list of priorities I can very much get behind and actually DO something about. I CAN pray regularly over six things. I CAN give generously to six things. I CAN care, research, and give mental energy to six things.

Does it mean I don’t care about those other things? Certainly not. It means that I recognize one simple thing: I’m not God.

God is the only one with the capacity to KNOW, CARE, and be deeply invested in EVERY CAUSE. In fact, He is the only One with the emotional and mental stores to even HANDLE the truth about all the world’s woes. I honestly think part of our mental health problem is that we have OVER-KNOWN. We have taken on more than we can mentally handle, forgetting that we play a role of obedience to God but we don’t need to have a hot-take on every single headline in our feed.

I’m not talking about burying our heads in the sand, I’m talking about not sticking our nose in business that belongs only to God.

So I share my simple process, just in case anyone else out there feels this same tension. I don’t pretend to have it all figured out. Perhaps our six things will change as seasons change (likely), but for today, I will devote myself to the few things God has called me to. And trust Him to be God and mobilize others for the causes outside my reach.

{Thanks for reading.}

Today is a rare occasion: It’s been a mostly Plan A day (which is why I’m curled up under a blanket with time to write this post!).

Our days rarely go exactly as planned, right? We know this.  Perhaps the most crucial character trait for any homeschooling parent is the ability to adjust, reconfigure, and creatively course-correct again and again and again (and again!). 

I’ll just tell you straight up–tossing a toddler into the mix of our life has thrown me for a major loop.

The baby-stage was mostly a breeze, but since we dropped the morning nap and he transitioned from snuggly baby to busy-never-sitting-still-crawling-onto-the-counter-emptying-every-cupboard-playing-in-the-toilet-every-time-I-turn-around-needing-constant-training-toddler I have had a hard time figuring out how to order our day effectively. (Advice welcomed!)

So, since “Plan A” days became so rare, I went ahead and posted “Plan B” in our house, just so we all knew what to do.

So far that’s the one thing that’s working well. My children are very kind and they’re alive. Yes! 

But even though “Plan A” doesn’t happen exactly, for me it’s still immensely helpful to have a rough outline of where we’re going each day.

It isn’t about following it exactly, but it does give us a guide. 

Honestly, I still feel pretty scattered.

Juggling a teen and a tween and a toddler along and my writing and speaking commitments, with what feels like loads of food prep (we love healthy food), and wanting to love and serve my husband and my parents and the precious people around me in our various spheres, I feel like I’m rarely giving anyone the attention they deserve.

But. God is so gracious, He gives us new mercies each morning, and I wouldn’t trade the details of my life for anything in the world. They go something like this… {Read the rest over at Simple Homeschool! Thanks!}

“….let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance…”

Heb. 12:1

I read the text over and over that week, considering the familiar passage and asking God again and again for insight–What are my weights?

The pain in my neck provided the perfect illustration. Earlier that week we had wanted to head outside on a beautiful sunny day. Justice is nearly 30 lbs so he’s a beast to carry around, but we have a hefty backpack carrier that Jeff uses. I had never used it before, but figured I could handle it for a short hike. How heavy could it be? I slid it out of the closet, hefted Justice over the top and down into the harness, buckled him in, then squatted down and eased the straps over my shoulders, then stood up.

Good grief he’s heavy, I thought. I pulled the waist straps tighter, shifted to try to adjust the weight down instead of pulling painfully on my neck. It’ll be fine.

We hiked, up and down hills and the whole time I’m just thinking, Good grief this kid weighs a ton! We kept it short because I couldn’t endure much longer. By the end my neck burned, my head ached, and I was just relieved to be done. That night I told Jeff about our little excursion and told him how much I admired that he could handle carrying that heavyweight around all the time!

The next morning Jeff made a humorous discovery: He’d accidentally left his huge study Bible in the front compartment of the backpack carrier. After church he’d tucked it in there just to travel home, then forgotten it was there.

I rubbed my sore neck and shook my head–a little extra weight is no joke! It seems so little–just a book. A little extra here and there. But over the long haul of a hike it takes serious toll on your ability to endure! The truth is, I could have hiked a lot longer without that extra weight. And I’m sure there are lots of things that “weights” might be for us, but one I know for sure for me:

My preferences.

My preferences are weights, friends. All the things that I have to have, the things that I like to be just so. The demands, comforts, requirements that must be fulfilled in order to be happy.

Every time I add a “must have” item to my life, I add a weight.

I think of this anytime I’ve searched for a vacation house on VRBO or AirBnB. As you know, the more boxes you check as requirements, the narrower your options get.

I.e. the more preferences you have, the fewer options you have.

Every box I check drastically reduces my options. It actually limits me.

My preferences limit my freedom.

Now please hear me, I’m not saying checking boxes is evil. Just adding a baby to our mix has limited our options because there are occupancy limits, that’s certainly not a bad thing! Indeed there are options that aren’t good for us. We’re wise to opt out of those things. But when there are so many things that I have to have just so, and you know what?

They drastically reduce my options.

Sure, we who have the privilege of wealth (which we all do) can afford to make a lot of those preferences a reality, but the principle is still the same. Everything I have to have in order to be satisfied comes back to bite me because it limits my freedom. It goes back to the Wide Joy thing…Every requirement I place on life closes that gap a notch more, narrowing the slice of life where I’m actually content.

It’s such a strange thing–our freedom can enslave us. Because we can become so accustomed to things being just so that we aren’t free to run with endurance. Our carry-on bag is too big!

Please hear me too, this isn’t just pointing fingers at people with money. I know wealthy people who purposefully live well below their means, on purpose. They haven’t kept checking additional boxes with every new raise. I admire them so much.

And of course it’s not only about money. But I can’t help but think of that haunting eye of the needle. Right? Jesus pulls no punches when he’s talking to the rich young ruler and that ruler didn’t have the freedom to follow Jesus because he had too many boxes checked. Too many preferences. He had to have his stuff. This and that thing were too near and dear to him. When he figured in all the amenities he had to have, there were no eternal options left for him. And that’s when Jesus speaks those haunting words,

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.

Matt 19:24, Mark 10:25, Luke 18:25

The disciples were “exceedingly astonished” at this, of course. They cried out the same thing I’d cry out, “Then who on earth can possibly be saved??” They clearly recognize how dire the situation is. And Jesus assures them that with God all things are possible.

And of course this isn’t a command for all people, that’s not the point. The point IS, if Jesus asks me to leave everything behind to follow Him, would I? And how do I know that unless I’m willing today to lay down my preferences? I’m fooling myself if I cling to my “have to have” list but still somehow think that I’d respond differently than that dear young ruler who walked away sad.

Right after he walked away the disciples point out that they have left everything. And Jesus assures them that nothing is lost. Everything they’ve left behind. All the boxes that they’ve UNCHECKED in order to follow Jesus, all those things will be added back to them.

We’re not given details, but Jesus is saying,

“Don’t worry. All that stuff you ‘lost’? It’ll be worth it.”

I’ll tell you straight up–that eye of the needle thing haunts me. Camels are big. Needle-eyes are small. Lord, please do the miraculous work of helping us first-world folks to love you more than anything. Please save us from the fate of the rich young ruler. Please help us lay aside weights so we can finish well. With man this is impossible but with You all things are possible.

Thanks for reading.