Category Archives: Sacred Mundane

I haven’t written in a few days because I guess I’ve been struck with a case of the blahs.  Just blah.  Tired.  Weary.  Feeling as if the end of the tunnel is finally showing (classes end May 5), and I realize that at the end of the tunnel there is … nothing.  Basically the gist of it is that something I’d kind of been hoping for looks like it’s not really going to be happening, and while we’d been hoping and praying that something would work out so that Jeff could get a job in May when school gets out, our house would sell in McMinnville, and all the pieces would fall into place for us to move out, etc. etc.  I guess without realizing it I once again got my hopes up. 

So this disappointment caught me off guard because I’d really been SO joyful and content and just sensing that God was up to something good (good in my perspective).  So this week it seemed to slap me in the face—this reality that the housing market is an absolute shambles, there are 53 houses just like ours for sale in McMinnville, and the fact of the matter is that May is coming and there’s no job on the horizon. 

So, what do we do with disappointment?  Yesterday I had the honor of playing the djembe at our seminary’s Day of Prayer.  It was SO GOOD to play again! Ahh … it felt like coming home after a long travel abroad.  My hands knew what to do, my spirit was worshipping, I knew I was doing a little bit of what I was created to do.  And after we played, Dr. Blom, who teaches all of the spiritual formation classes, shared a brief message on Vision.  Vision. Hm…  He shared about little “V” vision, symbolized by holding up your first two fingers as if making bunny ears.  Then there is big “V” vision, symbolized by stretching out both arms up as far as possible making a “V” shape out fro your shoulders.  Small V vision are the things like ministry, goals and dreams and hopes for our life.  Our big V vision is the glory and presence of Christ in our lives.  He is our vision.  But we spend too much time totally focused on the little V vision, so much so that we forget all about our big V vision–the glory and presence of Christ.  Our little V vision can be taken from us.  Disappointments, dashed hopes and dreams, failure–all these things can devestate our little V.  But nothing can devestate our big V.  Nothing. 

So after contemplating this, I spent our individual prayer time contemplating some of these things and asking God what it was that was stressing me out about our future.  And He answered:  My attempt to reconcile two opposing drives in my life:  The drive to serve the Lord Christ and the drive for a comfortable life.  These are the two driving forces in my life, and unfortunately they are at odds.  My stress comes from striving to reconcile these two things.  From trying to walk two directions at the same time.  Or, to put it in more biblical terms, from serving two masters.  You cannot serve both God and Mammon.  Seeking to serve God and seeking relative comfort don’t seem like they’re mutually exclusive. I mean, I’m not seeking worldly things, right?  I mean, who doesn’t want a house, enough money to pay their bills, who doesn’t want to NOT live with their parents into their 30’s? 🙂  Who doesn’t want to be financially stable and be able to have good health insurance and who doesn’t want a stable job and who doesn’t want to have a clue about the future?  I can tell you who didn’t … Jesus.  Not serving God and Mammon doesn’t just mean that we forsake attempts to get rich.  It means we decide once and for all who we will serve, and there can only be one choice.  Which drive will it be?  Christ or Comfort?  Which vision will be focus on–the little V or the big V?  What is my vision.  Or rather, Who is my vision?

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee, Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of heaven, my victory won,
May I reach heaven’s joys, O bright heav’ns Son!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my vision, O ruler of all. 

There’s a great Chris Tomlin song (what Chris Tomlin song isn’t?) on my mind.  It goes,

You and I were made to worship, you and I are called to love.  You and I are forgiven and free. You and I embrace surrender, you and I choose to believe.  You and I will see, who we were meant to be. 

We were made to worship.  But a sad commentary is that trying to get people “to worship” can be like pulling teeth.  Each week at church I have to admire our worship team, especially during our 8:30am early service.  They give all they’ve got, full of energy and enthusiasm perhaps they don’t always feel, but they’re always there, pumping up the audience and encouraging them to praise God. 

I’m new to the Facebook world.  I like the idea of being able to share photos and catch up with long-lost friends.  I’ve already made several awesome connections with people from years’ past.  But one of the things I don’t like about it is that I feel like I can see into people’s lives a little more than I like.  For example, most will put “Christian” under religious preference, or some will write “Jesus” (like I did) or something of that sort.  But then sometimes, it seems like that’s where Jesus ends.  Everything else about the profile says nothing about being a Jesus-lover.  The reality of the profile is that He is just that — a religious preference.  He’s not praiseworthy, compelling, beautiful, captivating.  He’s not the reason tto live.  And please hear me in this, I’m pointing this finger at myself.  What do I love, adore, and crave?  Jesus?  That’s one thing that I love about my husband.  He truly loves and craves Jesus Christ.  Jesus is beautiful and compelling to him.  I long for a hunger that parallels his.

Now please hear me here, my point is not about facebook profiles.  It certainly doesn’t mean that every book, movie, quote, activity, or interest should be centered on doing Bible studies and singing hymns.  Not at all!!!!  I have seen and worshipped and experienced God listening to James Taylor and watching Sweet Home Alabama.  So really, that’s not what I’m saying.  What I’m saying is, what were we created to do?  Who are we, really?  We were created to worship, and we all do worship, we naturally worship whatever it is that we most love and enjoy.  What do you worship?

This Tuesday I have the awesome privilege of playing the djembe for Multnomah Seminary’s Day of Prayer event.  I’m thrilled to get to play again in corporate worship after almost three years.  BUt the best part is that I have to “practice” the songs … which means more worshipping!  Everlasting God, Step by Step, Agnus Dei … all these awesome worship songs have been blaring through our house as I practice my beats.  And as we’re caught up in how awesome God is, we see that this, this is what we were created to do!  Here is joy and peace.  Here is sweetness and rest.  Here is solitude and surrender.  We were made to worship.  We lose ourselves in His greatness.  Nothing compares to His love.

CS Lewis usually has some pretty cool things to say. 🙂  He usually says it better than me.  This is the essence of what my heart is beating right now:

“The most obvious fact about praise — whether of God or anything — strangely escaped me.  I thought of it in terms of compliment, approval, or the giving of honor.  I had never noticed that all enjoyment spontaneously overflows into praise unless (sometimes even if) shyness or the fear of boring others is deliberatly brought in to check it.  The world rings with praise — lovers praising their mistresses, readers their favorite poet, walkers praising thei countryside, players praising their favorite game — praise of weather, wines, dishes, actors, motors, horses, colleges, countries, historical personages, children, flowers, mountains, rare stamps, rare beetles, even sometimes politicians or scholars.  I had not noticed how the humblest, and at the same time most balances and capacious, minds praise most, while the cranks, misfits, malcontents praised least … Except where intolerably  adverse circumstances interfere praise almost seems to be inner health made audible …I had not noticed either that just as men spontaneously praise whatever they value, so they spontaneously urge us to join them in praising it: “Isn’t she lovely?  Wasn’t it glorious?  Don’t you think that magnificent?”  The Psalmists in telling everyone to praise God are doing what all men do when they speak of what they care about … I think we delight to praise what we enjoy because the praise not merely expresses but completes the enjoyment; it is its appointed consummation.  It is not out of compliment that lovers keep on telling one anther how beautiful they are; the delight is incomplete until it is expressed.  It is frustrating to discover a new author and not to be able to tell anyone how good he is; to come suddenly, at the turn of the road, upon some mountain valley of unexpected grandeur and then to have to keep silent because the people with you care for it no more than for a tin can in the ditch; to hear a good joke and find no one to share it with … This is so even when our expressions are inadequate, as of course they usually are.  But how if one could really and fully praise even such things to perfection–utterly “get out” in poetry or music or paint to upsurge of appreciate which almost bursts you?  Then indeed the object would be fully appreciated and our delight would have attained perfect development.  The worthier the object, the more intense this delight would be.”

You and I were made to worship.  I find it easy to praise Dutch. To praise Chris Tomlin’s worship songs.  To praise Nikki’s sweet mango with sticky rice.  Do I find it easy to praise my Savior?  What do I worship, really?  What do you worship?

Oops–Friday got away from me without doing the LiveDifferent challenge! My clothing fast is 5 days underway now and so far so good. I’m asking God to help me with my New Year’s Resolution to not worry about money. During the past two months it seems that someone has drilled a hole in our savings account and I’m watching it trickle before my very eyes. New brakes for the car, some unexpected medical expenses, car insurance … I feel like it’s draining faster and faster! So, while the world would stress out, I’m asking God to help me LiveDifferent, to give me peace to trust Him, to take extra care to manage what He’s given us.

Speaking of money, and tightness of it, yesterday my parents came home from grocery shopping and my dad made the comment, “I really don’t know how people with low incomes can live.” This surprised me because I think of him as the type of man who would say, “If you manage your money well you can do anything.” But he was being serious as he continued explaining that in their short trip to town they had spent $50 on gas, $70 for food, and $30 for a prescription. That’s $150 and they hardly had anything to show for it! I agreed. It really is getting harder and harder for families making say 25-40K/year or less to live.

So, how can we meet this in our LiveDifferent challenge for this week? Well, for those of you who live in the Portland area, right now at Multnomah Seminary the Women’s Leadership class is doing a Beans ‘n Jeans drive. Any day this week you can drop off gently used jeans or non-perishable food (it doesn’t have to be beans) to the seminary building (right up front on Glisan). But no matter where you live, there are always food banks and places where you can drop off items. The Portland Rescue Mission has a wish list of needed items on their website (click here to see) or just look in a phone book to find a nearby charity.

And I’d challenge you with this–don’t give the nasty canned-whatever that is hiding in the back of your pantry. Find something nutritious. Something tasty. Something that might actually bring delight to whoever gets to eat it. Or, when you do your next grocery trip (for me that’s today), actually pick out some nutritious non-perishable food items and take them this week, or take the charity’s wish list with you to the store and put together a small box of items they need.

Wherever you are, the LiveDifferent challenge this week is just to give gently used clothing and non-perishable nutritious food items to a charity in your area. What you give is up to you, but ask God and let Him speak to you. Use this challenge to draw closer to God, let Him search your heart, ask Him about your attitude toward the poor, ask Him to interrupt your busy schedule to take time for this. And if you’re like me and you’re being tempted to stress about money, ask Him to give you peace, to give you grace to trust Him, to rise above the pull that tempts you to focus on your own needs, and ask God for a vision of those around you in need. LiveDifferent. Thanks for reading.

This morning I drank coffee.  I’m not usually a coffee drinker, but while in Salt Lake visiting my brother and his wife and their daughter, I had 1/2 a cup of coffee each morning, because Nikki has delicious creamer in my favorite flavor, Toffee Nut.  Who can pass up fresh coffee with creamy Toffee Nut?.  My favorite part of coffee with Toffee Nut is the delicious aftertaste.  At first, it’s super sweet and has that bitter coffee bite perfectly balanced, but after you let it rest in your mouth and swallow, then you get the nutty bite mixed with the coffee that you can taste and smell as you exhale … mmm. 

There are other aftertastes that are pretty gross.  Like California or Arizona tap water.  It makes me gag just thinking about it.  As an Oregon water snob, it’s just impossible to drink that tap water without plugging my nose or diluting it with juice or something.  You don’t notice the water’s that bad when it goes down, but then the aftertaste … that’s where it hits you between the eyes. No thanks.

But what I love about some experiences are that you sometimes don’t have the full appreciation of how sweet or profound or wonderful something is until right afterwards, until that glorious aftertaste.  This week, as you know, I spent in Salt Lake City, Utah, with Kris and Nikki and Jennika, their adorable 7-month-old daughter. Now back home this afternoon, I mused about the trip while I did the laundry, unpacked clothes, and tidied the house.  I realized that I experienced zero stress while on this trip.  Now, get this.  I traveled alone with a wild and crazy 15-month-old boy who never sat still the entire 4 days. And yes, I am tired right now and happy to have my own bed.   But I experienced this inexpressable joy the entire time that I cannot explain except for the grace of God.  On both plane rides (and the one home was pretty hairy!), I had this overwhelming joy and peace.  Even on the way home, when we almost missed our flight (they had already pulled the ramp away from the plane and started the safety instructions on board!), ran the entire length of the terminal, when Dutch’s ears were painful and he wouldn’t eat or drink so in desperation I nursed my enormous 15-month-old boy, stretching his legs out on the poor young man to my right, doing my best with my little sweater as a cover-up, letting Dutch’s head hang out into the aisle (!).  It was so much fun!  And I think part of it, as I think about it, was that it was a rare jewel of a time for Dutch and me to have together, must mommy and son.  Now I’m not complaining, but just because of our living situation, I don’t often feel like I don’t get those special “just us” times, or, come to think of it, perhaps I do but I just don’t pay attention enough to savor them when they come.  But this time I savored them.  Last night, Dutch couldn’t sleep, and after listening to him scream for 20 minutes while I lay face down on my bed, I finally asked God, “God, what should I do?”  and I know I heard Him say, “Go get him.”  So I went in and held him, went over to the rocking chair (this is the boy who REFUSES to be rocked) and was amazed as he melted in my arms as I gently rocked him.  Two minutes later he was alseep. 

And because I didn’t have meals to make, homework to do (well, I did but I ignored it), and a house to clean, guess what I did?  Played!  We played trucks, we wrestled in the grass outside, we swung, we went down the slide, we just played, and I enjoyed and savored every second of it. 

I think the other part of the absolute sweetness of the trip was the fact that my brother and his wife are some of the most remarkable people on earth.  Sincere, genuine people who love the Lord with all their hearts and give themselves to bless others.  Their house is comfortable, big enough to plenty of guests, but not stuffy or showy.  Nikki had planned all my favorite meals, had the pantry stocked with our favorite treats.  Worship music gently plays at all times.  A basket full of trucks occupied Dutch, and Nikki doesn’t bat an eyelash at having her house strewn with little boy toys.  We hiked Devil’s canyon, saw a herd of elk, ate a post-hike feast at Denny’s, walked along the Jordan river, played at a litle park, did a short hike down to a partially ice-covered beautiful pristine little lake with ducks, surrounded by enormous slabs of granite.  And last night Kris and Nikki skipped their Bible study, to stay home with me.  Both babies were exhausted, so after they fell asleep, we stayed up until 10:30pm talking, eating my favorite thing in the world, sweet mango with sticky rice. 

When we got to the airport, they parked and came with me to help with our luggage (stroller, car seat, suitcase!) and followed me all the way to security.  As I kissed them goodbye and watched them walk away, I was thankful for a son so I could kneel and hide my face next to his while I cried.  I cry not because I’m sad that they are in Utah. I’m happy for that.  It’s where they belong. I can see that.  But I cry just because I love them so much.  I’m in awe of a God who is so good to give me such a wonderful brother and sister-in-law.  And as I kissed my boy, I sat in awe of a God who gave me such a delicious little boy.  And as I sit here right now, with Dutch fast sleep in his bed, I anticipate finally seeing my husband, who is on his way home from a retreat.  Coming home from being apart is one of my favorite parts of marriage — I don’t like being apart, but the coming home part sure is fun! 

I know–this is all over the road, but I guess I can just agree with the psalmist who said “my cup runneth over” (Ps. 23:5).  Indeed mine does.  And as I drink of its fullness, I savor the sweetness of all that God has done and who He is.  And today I savor the delicious aftertaste of time with my brother, with Nikki, with Jennika.  Of time with my little son.  And of the days ahead, because “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever” (Ps. 23:6). Read More

Click here to read a beautiful rendition of 1 Corinthians 13–the love chapter, rewritten with us in mind.  Amen and amen!

Well today is the first day of my one-year clothing fast (fasting from buying new clothes).  I did go last weekend and get a few essentials, 2 neutral t-shirts and some brown shoes, just to make sure I have my bases covered.  So what better way to celebrate than by visiting … Salt Lake City (no, there is no connection whatsoever, it just happens that I’m visiting SLC).  My brother, Kris, and his wife and daughter live here in Salt Lake, and Dutch and I scored some cheap tickets and decided to take the week to visit.  We haven’t seen them since they moved in December, so this is a real treat!  Jennika is 7 months old and adorable (other people say that too, it’s not just because I’m her aunty.  Visit their blog to the right and see for yourself!) 

I wanted to post a quick entry about the flight because any of you who follow us know what a nightmare the last time was (click here to read Breastfeeding a Wild Animal on an Airplane)  So, I was a little hesitant to try again, especially alone, and especially with a son who now walks and is ten times more active than before.  But, I just have to praise God because He heard our prayers!  They changed my seat so that I was in the very front row–so I had tons of leg room, and then the seat next to me was empty, (only 2 seats per row) so we had both the aisle and the window.  Plus, since Dutch is older now, he actually enjoyed looking out the windows, pointing at the trucks, and looking at the mountains.  He played happily with his trucks in the vacant seat next to us, ate crackers and cheerios, flirted unashamedly with the flight attendant (who flirted back, I might add!), played trucks with the man across the aisle, and played peekaboo with the elderly gentleman behind us.  Basically, he was an absolute doll.  Then, my boy who NEVER sleeps in the car, fell asleep in Kris’s car on the way home.  Then, when I tried the absolutely impossible task of transferring Dutch to the crib (mind you, this has never, never been done successfully), he actually stayed asleep and has no been asleep for over an hour.  Yeah, wonders never cease.

So, those of you without kids may read this and think that it’s a little ridiculous for me to be blogging about such trivial matters.  But parents, oh you understand.  Do you ever understand.  Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to be here … and for Your gracious hand on our trip. 

Tonight (for class) I read and reflected for an hour on a chapter from Don Postema’s book Space for God.  I wouldn’t necessarily recommend the book, not that it’s not good, it’s just that there are so many others out there that I’d recommend first!  But this chapter was my favorite, and it was on the Justice & Compassion side of prayer. His connection comes from Matthew 5:23-24:

So when you are offering your gift on the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.

Postema rightly concludes that if we truly followed this, we’d never get back to the altar at all!  For who is completely free from others having something against them.  Even if total justice and compassion has been shown to their family, what about the poor, the suffering, those who our religion and country have oppressed?  Who can stand and say no one has anything against them? None of us.  So they are linked.  Prayer leads to an understanding, a hearing, if you will, the cry of the oppressed.  Prayer the leads us to “leave it” (in a sense) to take the cause of those who suffer, and in this we are continuing in prayer. 

Consider this version of Isaiah 58:6-11

Is not this what I require of you as a fast: to loose the fetters of injustice, to untie the knots of the yoke, to stop every yoke and set free thsoe who have been crushed?  Is it not sharing your food with the hungry, taking the homeless poor into your house, clothing the natked when you meet them and never evading a duty to your kinsfolk?  Then shall your light break forth like the dawn and soon you will grow healthy like a wound newly healed; your own righteousness shall be your vanguard and the glory of the Lord your rearguard.  Then, if you call, the Lord will answer; if you cry to him, the answer will be: “Here I am.”   If you cease to pervert justice, to point the accusing finger and lay false charges, if you feed the hungry from your own plenty and satisfy the needs of the wretched, then your light will rise like dawn out of darkness and your dusk be like noonday; the Lord will be your guide continually and will satisfy your needs in the shimmering heat; he will give you strength of limb; you will bel ike a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. 

Something in me just springs to life when I read this.  Yes!  That is it.  And I think what I’m sensing is that, miracle of all miracles, God is beginning to birth in my heart a genuine (albeit very small) love for people.  For those of you who read my New Year’s Resolutions (click there to see), my banner goal was simply to love people.  I am so stinking low on love.  How can I call myself a Christian if I don’t have love, real genuine love for people? 

I heard about the most convicting thing yesterday it made me want to throw up.  A question was asked of a pastor who speaks nationally about creating missional churches–churches whose goal and focus is truly to build the kingdom of God.  He was asked how to instigate change in churches that just don’t have this kingdom mindset, who don’t teach the Word, who don’t stimulate true growth, who don’t spread the gospel.  Well, first he answered, you need to ask yourself this question–Why am I here, at this church?  Am I here because it’s a career step–a place to get my foot in the door until I can do real stuff, “bigger and better” stuff?  Pow.  Then he said to ask yourself, “Do you love the people?  Really.  Do you love the people?”  Double pow.  Then he concluded:  “If you’re there because you genuinely love the people, and you want to see genuine life change and a church set on fire to be on mission with God … then what it takes is time.  Lots and lots and lots and lots of time.”

So, all of this fits together.  First, I am challenged to let my prayer life ignite in me a conviction that a Christian life that is not moving in this world as the hands and feet of Jesus is not a real Christian life.  Secondly, I am challenged as I realize that I might be all excited to go and talk to Jesse, the homeless guy in Portland, about the gospel and give him food and clothes, but am I willing to get on the same level as the people in my small town, to lay aside the perceived gaps and learn to speak their language?  Do I love them?  I think …. I think … that I’m starting to.  The little flicker of genuine love for people that is in my heart is pretty small, but I can feel it, flickering, struggling, lighting up the darkness of selfish ambition and vain conceit in my heart. 

Lord, give me love for people.  Turn my prayer to action.  Make me sick with compassion and uncomfortable with conviction, so that I’ll turn outward and love people for Your sake.  In Jesus’ name and for His sake. AMen. 

Nothing deep here … I just wanted to reflect on the joy of mommyhood.  Yesterday Dutch got a new toy–a green John Deere truck from my dear friend Crystal.  Dutch flipped!  He loved it. Usually snack time is the most exciting part of the day and when I pull out the special Dutch muffin and start breaking off pieces and putting them on his high chair tray, he just about goes crazy.  He loves muffins. But yesterday, he totally ignored the muffin as soon as he saw the tractor!  Then later, the boy who hardly ever plays on his own, took his tractor over to the stairs and played for 30 minutes, all by himself, making the engine sounds and loading and unloading special imaginary bucket-fulls of dirt on the stairs.

Dutch’s other favorite thing right now is to sneak into our bedroom and go through Jeff’s nighstand drawer.  He usually goes for the “No More Fungus” bottle (yeah, gross) and hides things in our bed.  So last night, about 2am, I woke up and couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t comfortable, the realized something hard was under my back.  I reached back and there was a deck of playing cards … from our special little boy.  Too tired to get up, I tossed them down to my feet and fell asleep smiling.  What a little boy.

Today at church, I was the proudest mommy ever because Dutch ran to Pastor Dale and jumped into his arms.  Then I said, “Dutch can you give Pastor Dale a kiss?”  ANd he leaned up and planted a huge kiss right on our pastor’s cheek.  Yeah, it was pretty sweet.  Of course he might be a terror at home for me, but at least he’s sweet at church. 🙂

That’s all. Just savoring mommyhood. 

“If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body.” Matthew 6:25 The Message

Well, I figure we might as well start with gusto. So, after talking to Jeff (I do know my Old Testament you know, and when a woman makes a vow, her husband can counter it if he thinks it was too rash 🙂 ) I’m taking the plunge. No buying clothes for myself for … gulp … yes ….breathe, Kari … a year. Yes, a year. Here are the stipulations because I want to really count the cost and make this clear.

1. I’ll start April 1st (that way if I think of anything that I truly need for the coming year I can get it this weekend–no it’s not like Mardi Gras, I’m not going to go on a shopping spree, I’m talking about if there’s something I actually need, which I can’t think of right now but just in case.)

2. I can receive gifts; but if I get gift cards then I’ll wait to use them until after the year is over. (And no I won’t make up holidays and insist that my husband buy me clothing gifts to celebrate every weekend!)

3. Goodwill is still allowable in a rare event, like if I get pregnant or something to cover my belly!

4. I’ll “audit” our finances and find out exactly what I spent on clothing in the past year, and then donate that amount on April 1, 2009 to a charity or missions organization.

Here’s where you come in: If any woman out there will join me in this challenge, I’ll donate that money to a charity of YOUR choice (provided it’s a good one!). OR, if any of you men want to show your support of this challenge, I ask that you match me dollar for dollar, and if I succeed and complete the year, you match my donation to that charity. This could be so awesome! Let’s just say we spent $500 on clothes in a year. If I did this and 5 guys supported me, that’s $3,000. If five of you girls did it as well and had just one guy support each of you, that’s $8,000 total! That’s enough for 1600 chickens for needy families in Asia! And I guarantee not one person will notice if I wear the same dress to every wedding this summer. Guaranteed.

So, if you’re in, post a comment, or if you’re shy–click “Contact” and send me an email. I’m off now to check the tread on my shoes …

The buzz has mostly died down now, but there for awhile everyone sported their rubber wrist-bands. LiveStrong was the most popular one, in bright yellow support of Lance Armstrong’s battle against cancer. Our church in Corvallis had white ones with LivePure as a stand for sexual purity.

So this morning I was lying in bed listening to Dutch cry, as he was not happy about being put down for his nap. I lay on my bed, staring at my open closet. My full open closet. A year or so ago I read Blue Like Jazz. I remember really liking it, but can’t remember a ton about it now. Except for one thing. I remember Donald Miller had a friend at Reed College who decided to go a whole year without buying clothes. And she did it. Isn’t that funny? That’s the only thing that was burned into my mind from the book. Why? Because I remember thinking, Wow, I couldn’t do that. But I was totally challenged and encouraged by her–what a radical thing to do. She decided that rather than just give her leftover money to God, she would actually go without something, so that her giving to the church and to the poor actually cost her something. David said this is 2 Samuel 24:24 (for those of you who want to make sure this is biblical!), he insisted that he pay for the threshing floor and the oxen for 50 shekels of silver because he said “nor will I offer burnt offerings to the LORD my God with that which costs me nothing.” So what does that mean for us?. I guess what I’m challenged by is that we have so much. Even those of us who aren’t rich (raising my hand here), we still have so much, and we could give so much more.

I thought back to this week. Jeff brought home a box of food from church this week because somebody had dropped it off for the resource center, but the resource center has recently closed, so they sent it home with Jeff. I looked at the box of food. Two deeply dented cans of Chef Boyardee forkable food-like substance and four cans of some kind of beef stew stuff and a random box of pumpkin seeds. What? I admit the thought flashed through my mind, Who gives stuff like this? But it’s not that I wasn’t grateful for the gift, but that box of obviously unwanted leftover givaway food was like holding a mirror up in front of my face. I give like that. I give my leftover, dented cans of gross Chef Boyardee, so to speak. I don’t give my favorite Brianna’s all-natural salad dressing or my Go Lean cereal which is like precious gold, but don’t you think that hungry people in need probably like those kind of delicious things just as much as I do? I’ll never forget a story one of my teachers in school of ministry shared. He said that he wanted to give some clothes to charity and so he went into his closet to pick out a few sweaters. Which ones did he pick? Of course, his oldest ones, the ones he didn’t really like, the ones he never wore, right? Right. But as he reached for those, he heard God say, Why not that one, Jason? He looked up at his favorite sweater–the J. Crew one on the top; the new one that he loved. Why not that one, Jason? He looked at it again. Reluctantly but obediently, he pulled it from the top shelf, resolving in his heart “nor will I offer to the Lord my God that which costs me nothing.” That was seven years ago, and I still remember that story. Hm. Which sweater am I holding back from God?

Now living sacrificially isn’t even just about giving more. It isn’t about money. It’s about a change of perspective. Again, I refer to the passage from The Hawk and the Dove about holy poverty. Remember the passage? (from Amazing Grace (my chains are gone —click there to read) Here it is again:

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His friend says, “Moderation! You ask too much! Your self-imposed penury is not holy poverty. It is like the poverty of the world. It is …”

“Too must like the real thing, you mean?” Abbot Peregrine interjects wryly.

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When we actually go without we are choosing to experience a teeny taste of what Christ experienced, what others experience. We choose to let our fat flesh starve for one moment so that we can hear the voice of God. I’m not talking about asceticism, I’m not talking about becoming obsessed with self-denial. I love pleasure. I love the things God gave us for pleasure. Marriage, cookies, flowers, sunshine, running, fresh air–ahh! Drink deep of these pleasures, but we settle for too little. We are up to our eyeballs in luxury which has sated our spiritual hunger and left us lethargic and ready for a nap spiritually. I’m saying this to myself. Even though this year has been a struggle not having our own home, and I do believe God has a home in store for us, in fact I even believe that part of our ministry will be having a large home where we can have people stay and extend hospitality, but that’s another story and I’ve gotten off track here. Even though this year has been a struggle, it’s been a wake-up call to a realization on how little we can really live on.

So as I lay on my bed, I thought about a fabulous quote by Benjamin Franklin from my friend Caila’s website. It says, “Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.” Do something worth writing. What are we doing? Is there anything interesting going on in my life? That’s when the words LiveDifferent came into my mind. LiveDifferent. What if, once a week, we joined together to do something that challenged our American life of luxury mindset? What if a group of us girls (I say girls because for guys this wouldn’t be a sacrifice of any kind) did decide to not buy clothes for a year? What if, just for a week, we didn’t buy any groceries and just tried to live off what we have in our pantries (I know, not much of a challenge–we have to start somewhere!)? What if we took every Monday and instead of eating our lunch we fasted and gave our sack lunch to Jesse, the homeless guy on the I-205 off ramp? What if we went one whole month without eating out, and gave the money we save to Compassion International so that a kid in Rwanda could have shoes? What if we only rented movies from the library instead of Blockbuster and used that money to buy two chickens from Gospel for Asia for a family in need? What if we lived with our parents for a year? (ha ha, only threw that one in there to see if you were paying attention — no one should really do that!) So, every Friday, I’ll post a LiveDifferent challenge. Now this is being really vulnerable because you guys will see what a serious American sissy I am–because my LiveDifferent challenges probably won’t be that revolutionary to you. But, we have to start somewhere right? Now again, I’m not condemning people (myself included) who buy clothes, eat out, drive SUVs, or have cable tv. I’m just drawing a circle around myself and praying, God start a revolution here. Change my heart so that I’m willing to alter my lifestyle every so slightly for the sake of the gospel. Help me not to just do things for the sake of doing them, but to gain a different perspective, to ruffle my feathers enough that I look up and take notice of the suffering world around me. Please lead these LiveDifferent challenges so that they’re not just my own little ideas, but they’re YOUR ideas. And keep us always ever from pride, thinking we are in any way better than others who live different from us. Changes us, God. Give us creativity to LiveDifferent. Amen.

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