Category Archives: Sacred Mundane

I pushed open the door and looked inside. A loooong line. My heart sank just a bit. I was at the Cricket cell phone store with Julie, as her phone had been lost or stolen or otherwise no longer with us.

The lobby was full of people, all of whom looked homeless. We were in a rough part of town. I clutched my purse a little tighter and held the door for Julie. Her face lit up when she walked in the door, “Oh good! MacKenzie’s here.”

Julie called out, across all the people, “Hey MacKenzie! I lost my phone again!”  

The girl behind the counter smiled. She was young, tattooed on both arms, and stood with arms folded as a toothless, elderly man at the front of the line waved his arms around. “You’re taking all my money! Just like women!”  He hollered, laughing at himself for his cleverness.  Julie and I took our place in line and waited. For 15 minutes the man messed with her, asking questions and getting confused and pretending he wasn’t going to pay her. Then came the next customer–an angry young girl. Then the next. One older man in line, with a little red-haired girl no older than Heidi, tired of waiting, turned, storming out the store. “I’m outta here! I’m OUTTA here!” He shouted twice, dragging the little girl away as he went. MacKenzie’s face darkened slightly, then she turned back to the next customer.

Nearly an hour went by.  She juggled customers, often helping two at once, processing bills while people tested phones, programming and talking and answering phones all at once. She bantered, smiled, and stood her ground, as hard as nails, when needed.

Someone commented on her tattoos. One was an elaborate drawing, and another a long sentence in scripted font. I couldn’t make out what it was.

“What’s your tattoo say?” A woman asked.

She said it quietly, but clearly, looking straight in the eyes of the woman who asked.

“Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future.”  Then she turned to get the woman’s new phone.

Our turn was next. Julie relayed her story about the phone.  MacKenzie smiled and listened while simultaneously, with quick hands, pulling out the least expensive phone and programming it for Julie as she listened. Julie told her about her new home, “I’m 125 days clean and sober!”

MacKenzie stopped her hands. She looked up, into Julie’s eyes, and leaned into close.

“I’m so proud of you, Julie.”  Julie smiled, eyes full.

When it was time to pay, I had to use a large bill, and felt a little bit uncomfortable. I slid it out and held it low. MacKenzie instinctively reached around and slid it from my hand, behind the paper bag on the counter. She slid my change back into my hand without counting it out loud. She smiled into my eyes.

“It was great to see you, Julie. Take care.”

We left the store. Julie went to catch the bus, and I went home. But MacKenzie haunted me. I don’t know her story, her past, but I do know that this young tattooed girl, working long hours at the dingiest cell phone store in a rough part of town, understood the grace of God because it flowed through her to every person in that store. She stood behind that counter, embodying Jesus to every person she met. The toothless ones, the rude ones, the obnoxious, impatient ones. I watched her doing her job, juggling things joyfully, looking people in the eye. Listening. Not taking flack but bantering when possible. Giving people dignity.

Later that day, I got another call. We needed to go back to the store and pay Julie’s bill. Inwardly, my heart leapt, excited. I wanted to see MacKenzie again. Heidi hopped in the car with me, and I prayed she would still be there. Sure enough, when I pulled up, she was there. And no one else was in the store.

As soon as I opened the door, she beamed. “Hey, I wanted to tell you, it’s really nice of you to help Julie like this.”  I smiled.

And then I told her. I told her I followed Jesus too, and that I saw Him in her, as she interacted with all those impossibly irritating people, how her beautiful tattoo was such truth–all saints do have a past and all sinners do have a future. I told her she fulfilled her job with such excellence, even though she was the only one there. I could tell she worked for an audience of One.

She nodded and smiled. “Yes, I am a Christian. Thank you.”

Then I awkwardly asked if I could take her picture and write about her. She laughed and agreed.

And I clicked a picture of her, Cricket worker for the glory of God, shining the light of His love in the midst of the darkness there. 

And I prayed the whole way home that God would let me be a little more like MacKenzie.

Thanks for reading.

On the eve of our nation’s favorite food holiday, we’re going to talk for a moment about just that–food.  As much as we want the focus to be on giving thanks, we inevitably spend a great deal focusing on food as well. Nothing wrong with that.  I shared way back here about not wanting to walk in circles in the area of food and diet and received quite a load of varied responses.  I mentioned briefly a book called The Plan, and since then the most frequent question I am asked seems to be: “So, what’s The Plan?” It’s been a fun journey these last three months and I am happy to report: I’m no longer walking in circles!  More than a couple pounds shed though, my mindset has changed. I so enjoyed the book I’d like to share a bit of it with you. So let’s just do a quick dive into 1) What is The Plan? 2) Why does it matter?

What is The Plan?

The Plan was recommended to my mom, to help in her fight against Parkinson’s.  I ordered it for her, and was so intrigued by the beginning that I told her I’d do the 20-day plan with her. Jeff caught my enthusiasm and said he was in, and our housemate, Debra, jumped on board a few days later. The gist of The Plan is identifying which foods trigger an inflammatory response in your body, and are therefore detrimental to your health in a variety of ways. Negative responses can range from headaches, weight gain, bloating, puffiness, foggy thinking, stomach-ache, irritability, etc.

The first few days are rough, as you detox and begin to learn how to listen to your body, but after day 3 we were all quickly hooked by just how good we felt! My mom lost a lot of weight, getting to her lowest since before having babies (almost 40 years). Jeff’s cholesterol dropped one hundred points in just a few weeks. I found myself with way more energy throughout the day, and easily shedding the few pounds I wanted to drop. My aunt reached her lowest weight since high school. Our housemate noticed much more metal clarity and more energy as well. It’s been 3 months now and I would say it has been the single best book for educating and inspiring wise, informed choices for our family’s eating.

Why does it matter? 

So, while I cringe at the word “diet,” how we steward our physical bodies does impact how we flourish spiritually. At least for me it does. I have never found a more freeing approach to health, diet, weight, and nutrition as by following the simple steps of The Plan. What I love is that she leads readers on a journey toward a new perspective of health and food. Instead of striving toward some dream image or goal weight or following what “they say” are healthy foods, you simply learn to listen to your body (the one God gave you!) and find your set point, the natural place where your body thrives best. Instead of following some new fad diet, or trying to fit insane workouts into your schedule, you just rest in how your body best functions. Although it’s not a Christian book, I find the truths in it are so in line with the idea of stewardship—learning to adopt a healthy, restful, no-stress approach to good health through nutrition.

So, all that to say that as we enter into a season notorious for its food, I enthusiastically recommend The Plan to anyone looking for a healthy, whole, balanced, stress-free approach to nutrition. I feel like I finally know how best to take care of the body God has graciously given me. So, if your interest is at all piqued, check it out. I think you’ll be blessed.

It’s definitely on the list of things I’m oh-so grateful for this Thanksgiving. 

{Happy Thanksgiving! Thanks for reading…}

I’m thankful. 

Because I have parents. They are alive. And as I click out these words they are snuggled up on the couch with my children.

I’m thankful.

Because I have water to drink. It’s clear. It’s safe. It perfectly satisfies my thirst and every morning I gulp it down and thank God for another day of life.

I’m thankful.

Because I have a bed. I find rest there. I am safe. I sleep without fear.

I’m thankful.

Because in the midst of life’s chaos there is peace. Unshakable, unchanging peace. There is an anchor for my soul.

I’m thankful.

Because my value, worth, and identity is not based on my performance, track record, or week’s resume. However I have triumphed or failed this week, how much I am loved remains the same.

I’m thankful.

Because His living Word is truly alive. And I can crawl inside its pages each morning and find truth, hope, peace, joy. I can go there to recalibrate. To find True North.

I’m thankful.

Because I belong to a body of Christ followers. A little ragtag bunch of believers who love each other fiercely and who remind me of grace and the gospel whenever I forget. Who serve selflessly and give endlessly and although we are all terribly defective, we belong to each other and shine lights on the beauty of Christ in each one.

I’m thankful.

Because I am free, in this country, to write, speak, and proclaim the truth of Jesus Christ.

I’m thankful.

Because there are people around me who are so very different from me. Who inspire me, challenge me, question me, and encourage me. People who believe differently who are willing to love me anyway and willing to let me love them. There is infinite value in every single soul we meet. I’m thankful for them.

I’m thankful.

Because when I feel we are empty, lost, ruined, the Living God swoops in with His provision, protection, power. He does exceedingly abundantly more than we could imagine.

I’m thankful.

Because this fragile wisp of life is fleeting and yet forever. Life here so soon gone, life there eternal.

I’m thankful.

Because most of the things I get so wound up about don’t really matter. The slights, the inconveniences, the discomforts and irritations. A blink and they will be gone. People last forever. I’m thankful for a fresh reminder of this.

I’m thankful.

Because love changes everything. And every exhortation can be boiled down to this: Love one another.

I’m thankful.

Because the truth is, I am overwhelmed. I am buried alive under the huge mass of God’s amazing grace, the glorious gospel, that Jesus Christ conquered sin, death, and the grave, and sets us free to live for Him, in His love, by His power, receiving His provision, experiencing His love. Everything is grace. Everything is blessing. He is so good. And how often do I forget? How often do I complain? How often do I doubt?

OFTEN. Daily?

But there continues to be grace, and returning, and forgiving. And when I wander He draws me back. And when I stray He calls me home. And when I am bound by fear or hate or greed, He lures me back by His love.

This week, forget not all His benefits.  When we ever-remember them … we live overwhelmed. 

Bless the LORD, O my soul,

and forget not all His benefits.

Psalm 103:2

{Wanting to live overwhelmed, continually reminded of His glorious grace displayed in the gospel. Count, recount, remember, rejoice. This week, give thanks. Thanks for reading.}

It’s asinine. Why on earth does it matter what I wear today? But for some reason, even though every single day, carefree, I  pull on my favorite jeans and the next fitted tee from the stack, this day I stared at my closet looking for something cute.

I even told Heidi to please match.

Why? Why this day? 

It’s not that something cute is bad. It’s that I’m not really into clothes, and could happily do the Jen Hatmaker deal and wear the save seven items for a month. What has me puzzled is, Why today does it matter? See, I don’t even sweat what to wear to speaking events. I ask God, something pops in my mind, and I put it on. It’s not a time-consuming endeavor.

So, I ask again, Why today? 

There are plenty of innocuous reasons. To be appropriate. To fit in. Because it’s fun to doll up a little bit every once in a while.

But that slightly weird feeling in my stomach tipped the hand of my heart, revealing more of the root.

That day I was going to a place I hadn’t for a while. A place I had mixed feelings for. A place I’d experienced hurt. A place that, no matter how much I tried to muster up neutrality, I always wound up coming home heavy.

So if I was headed to this place, I had better at least be armed with a good outfit, right?

And one more time I’ll say it: There’s nothing wrong with that.

We all want something to wear that looks and feels good.

But it served as such a picture for me. Because as I knelt in prayer and echoed David’s plea:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my anxious thoughts! See if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24)

This came to mind: You’re wearing the wrong thing.

Not physically. The wool cardigan wasn’t the problem. Spiritually:

I was wearing my own works.

When faced with resurfaced insecurity, I had spiritually reached to the back of the closet and pulled out an old filthy garment I hadn’t worn in a while:

My own righteousness.

Spiritually speaking I had tucked my trophies under my arm, slipped my spiritual resume into my purse, wrapped myself in a robe of my own successes, and headed out into the painful place armed only with … self.

No wonder I came home so bummed.

See, it’s so subtle, and it’s all a matter of the heart. The truth is that any time (no matter what clothes we have on) we base our confidence on our own successes or our own abilities, we’re wrapping ourselves in filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6).

But when, instead, we abandon self, freely confess our own inabilities, weaknesses, and insecurities, and allow God to clothe us, then do you know what we get to wear?

The garments of salvation. The robe of righteousness.

And these are no rags:

“I will greatly rejoice in the LORD; my soul shall exult in my God, for He has clothed me with the garments of salvation; He has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress, and as a bride adorns herself with jewels.” (Isaiah 61:10)

I read it that very morning. Coincidence?

Never.

So how do we put on His clothes?

By faith. With our face to the floor. Casting all our crutches at the cross and leaning on Him alone for our salvation, joy, worth, confidence, peace.

Nothing looks or feels better than that. 

{May you rest and revel in His garments of salvation this week. You’re beautiful in them, sister! Thanks for reading.}

School has started, fall sports schedules are posted and calendars are quickly filling.

Does your weekly schedule include: Discipling my children to know and love God?

Although Christian private school, Sunday school, kid’s programs, vacation Bible school, and AWANAs are all awesome, no one has more power to influence your child for Jesus than YOU.

You are the most important person, your home is the most important place, and your daily life is the most important program.

We’re certainly not experts, but here are some simple ideas for small starts:

:: A little something done consistently is better than a big bang that fizzles out. Teaching your child just one short verse each week (such as Letter Lessons) is better than attempting an elaborate program only to quit after 5 days and do nothing at all. Our pride and egos tend to push us toward bigger and better and flashier programs and curricula, but small simple steps of meditating on God’s Word, praying, and practicing real everyday faith are more effective long-term. Start small and go the distance.

:: Do something within your gifting. If you love to read, read. If you love to act and play more active games, act our Bible stories with your kids. If you love to play instruments, sing! If your heart is for prayer, pray! Don’t stress too much about having the perfect devotional program, just do what you enjoy and let your joy and passion inspire your children. If you actually enjoy what you’re doing, chances are they will too.

:: Schedule it in. We only actually do what we make a priority. If we think family devotional time will just naturally wiggle its way into our day, we’re dreaming. Again, it doesn’t have to be every single night (although that’s awesome if it is!) but plan 2-3 times a week of intentional family time seeking God. Plan it the way you would a sports practice or swim lessons. Decide what you want to do and schedule it in. Right now is the perfect time, as school starts and schedules are set, to put family devotional time as a priority on the calendar. Make it a priority this year.

:: Find a great resource. My man has compiled a great list of family devotional resources. Browse and perhaps buy or download one that works for you.

Get a good family Bible. Since most kids are visual learners, and since knowing the Big Story is more helpful than getting bits and pieces of bite-sized morals, let us recommend a few possibilities for a parent-kid-family Bible:

• The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name, by Sally Lloyd-Jones (also a read-aloud edition, and deluxe edition with audio CD). This one has become our favorite, even though it’s probably aimed for reading to younger kids. I’ve recommended it to many new Christians (even those without kids) simply for getting a grasp of the Story of God, and the Hero — Jesus. The words flow with a poetic cadence, making them memorable, and each story points to who Jesus is, why He came, and what it means to follow Him.
• The Gospel Story Bible: Discovering Jesus in the Old and New Testaments, by Marty Machowski and A. E. Macha. Each story covers two pages (less pictures and more words), yet told in an engaging style. Each lesson has questions aimed to help kids notice the people and features of each biblical story, and it’s connection to God’s character, His Son, and the Gospel.
• The Big Picture Story Bible, by David R. Helm and Gail Schoomaker. Another good picture Bible giving the over-arching narrative of God’s story. Stellar illustrations, though you’ll need to come up with your own questions for interaction and inciting wonder.
• Long Story Short: Ten-Minute Devotions to Draw Your Family to God, by Marty Machowski. This one is more of a plan for daily discussions and lessons, for preschool-to-elementary-aged kids.

We have each of those, having added one a year to give new perspectives. As our kids have become familiar with the biblical narrative and story of Jesus we let them choose a story from two Bibles, and then read them together. It doesn’t take long, and each conversation has the opportunity to take a thousand twists and turns (in the form of questions). We see this as “quantity time becoming quality time.”

One last resource to mention:
A Beginners Guide to Family Worship by Winfield Bevins ($2.99 ebook published by Gospel-Centered Discipleship)

Summary: Every Christian parent can lead their home in family worship — simply coming together as a family and worshipping God in the home. This little book has been prepared as an introduction to family worship and to help you teach your children basic Christian beliefs and to memorize Scripture.

(This ebook is 24 pages, and available in your choice of ePub, mobi, or PDF format.)

GospelCenteredDiscipleship.com also has numerous articles on making disciples in our families.

{It’s the perfect time to establish godly habits to lead our families to Jesus. I’d love to hear your thoughts, ideas, and resources suggestions for your own family worship times. Thanks so much for reading, and sharing!}

*Warning: Personal post! I promised to be vulnerable in this space, well … here you go! 😉

~

I looked down at the scale … up another pound. That made eight. *sigh* My thoughts did the same little circle they did the week before: It doesn’t matter. You’re thin. Eight pounds is not a big deal. You shouldn’t be worried about shallow stuff like your body, isn’t that what Jesus said??  But then I circled the other direction: But it does matter because I don’t feel good. And it does affect me because it’s little daily choices that I know are not the best. And it does make me more inhibited with my husband and more moody with my kids and when my body’s not thriving it has everything to do with my spirit not thriving. Everything matters, remember?

So I made another vague resolution to do better. (Whatever that means.)

But then we had company over every night that week. (It’s rude if I don’t eat dessert with them, right?). And then we had a massive ice cream cake at church. (It’s a celebration! Two slices are certainly justified.) And then it was family night and of course I needed to make treats. (For the kids, of course.) And next thing I knew it was the next Monday morning and I stepped back on that scale and there I was again. Defeated.

Circling again.

The day brought more self-talk. It’s not a big deal. Forget it. You’re thin. A lot of people would love to have your body. You’re healthy. You’re ALIVE for crying out loud. Be happy you ungrateful louse!  (I wouldn’t recommend name-calling in your self-talk.)

Now, a lot of that is true, and I wholeheartedly believe we should we grateful for whatever bodies God has given us, however they look or feel. We praise Him for our bodies because they are fearfully and wonderfully made!  But the truth is also this: When I’m not making good choices for my body it affects every area of my life. That is just reality. And because God created us as whole people, every dimension of our lives (body, soul, spirit) affects the other.

So, as I was updating the blog, I glanced over at the “This week last year” feature on the sidebar. I re-read through a post and remembered what I’d been going through at that time last summer. Guess what it was? Struggling with healthy choices and gaining weight.

A tiny alarm went off inside: Kari, you’re doing the same thing this year that you were last year.

That’s what we call walking in circles. 

So I clicked on Lysa Terkeurst’s Made to Crave website and started reading her online devotionals. All great stuff. But what struck me most was this:

The comments.

Over and over and over–hundreds of comments, saying something like this:

“I’ve been struggling with my weight for forty years … “

My eyes widened.

Forty years.

All I could think was this: I don’t want to do this for forty years.

Forty years is life.

Forty years is everything in between college graduation and the senior discount at Shari’s.

Forty years.

But this isn’t just about weight. Or food. Do you remember some other people who walked circles for forty years?

The Israelites. God’s people.

Their grumbling and complaining–their small choices in daily life–kept them from entering the promised land, so they had to spend  their entire lives walking circles in the desert. Forty years. Forty years of complaining.  Forty years of discontentment. Forty years of criticizing our husbands. Forty years of _______ (fill in the blank!).

I don’t want to walk circles for forty years. 

Gripped, I prayed: Show me, God. Show me a plan. Show me what to do so that this little thing doesn’t become a big thing. So that my little daily choices don’t keep me from entering the promised land, all the good and glorious things you have for me in this life and the next. Show me what to do.

The question came to mind:  What REAL changes are you really willing to make?

I didn’t answer this for a few days. I didn’t want to lie to God, so I had to really consider. I could think of plenty of things I couldn’t live without. Coffee and sugar topped the list. Hmm. I thought of all the times I’d taught this truth: “Anything you think you can’t live without is an idol.” 

I hate it when my own teaching comes back to haunt me. (smile)

So in a completely uneventful moment, I gave everything to God. Everything. I told him he could have every grain of sugar for the rest of my life, if that’s what it meant to not walk in the wilderness for forty years. If it meant never tasting my children’s birthday cake or never sipping coffee or never baking cookies with my kids. It wasn’t for me to decide upon a plan at that moment, it was for me to surrender all to Him and let Him take over and show me the plan.

Then, funnily enough, without me even looking, a book dropped in my path. What’s it called? The Plan.

And it’s simply a tool, but for me it is a gift from Him, and a breath of fresh air, and new perspective on health and healing and I feel better than I have in ages. Let me tell you, between Intimate Issues and The Plan, things are spicing up around here! 🙂

So, friend, What is your little thing? What little thing do you keep circling to? What New Year’s Resolution do you keep making over and over and over and over with no victory?

Don’t walk in circles for forty years. I don’t know what your plan is, but He does. And absolute surrender is a great place to begin.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

and lean not on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him,

and He will direct your path.

Prov. 3:5-6

Thanks for reading.

Ahhh … I am sitting, feet up, in a little office we built into one corner of our detached garage.  Today my husband is giving me a special treat: One entire uninterrupted day alone to write and study God’s Word, preparing for upcoming events. It’s truly a gift and it’s got me thinking:

I’m excited to see you!

See, the only thing better than connecting with you here is connecting with you in person.

As much as I love to write, it is such a thrill to get together in real time, seek God, dig into His Word, and grow together in this life of following Christ and loving and serving those around us. And, one of the joys of our new church-planting venture this past year is that Jeff now has more flexibility to be with our kiddos and/or travel with me in these various adventures. And the result is … we’re finding lots of opportunities to do just that!

So, we’re planning out the rest of our 2013 calendar, and I wanted to toss out a few possible dates, in case you are still planning your women’s events, need a speaker, and want to explore the possibility of joining together. Most commonly I speak at three types of events: 1) Women’s weekend retreats, 2) MOPS/Mom’s groups, 3) Special occasion events (i.e. Christmas event, Spring luncheon, etc.)  

Christmas Message

I’m excited to share a Christmas message: Life, born. We’ll look at Jesus, the Life, born into a world marked by death. In Him is life, He is our life, and our lives are hidden and found in Him. We’ll see how Jesus brings the reversal of the curse and its death-grip, giving us access to life once again. We’ll laugh at ourselves and all the ways we seek to find our life in other things, and we’ll learn how to “take hold of that which is truly life” (1 Timothy 6:16).  I would love to share this word with you, if you have plans for a Christmas event this year.

For more information on topics, cost, and to discuss details, contact me here. Note: Retreat weekends for 2013 are full now, but many retreat weekends are still available for Spring 2014, so keep that in mind as well. Mom’s groups are usually mid-week and fairly easy to schedule.  Thanks so much!

Available Dates/Times 

::Southern California/Riverside area: Friday, Nov. 15th. Afternoon or evening event. Saturday, Nov. 16th. Morning event.

::Phoenix Area: Week of November 18th-24th. Daytime or evening event.

::California Bay Area/Sacramento: Friday, Dec. 6th. Daytime or evening Christmas event.

::Portland area: Saturday, Dec. 14th OR Friday, Dec. 20th Christmas event.

 Hope to see you soon. Have a blessed Labor Day! Thanks for reading.

We sat in her kitchen sipping coffee. She was walking through a trial–a long one–and didn’t have a clear end in sight.

“It’s like we started out, and all these people were at our side. I could see them all around. I could hear them cheering. They all seemed to be on board, running beside us. But as the months have drawn on, I find myself looking around … and can’t see anyone anymore. We’ve made some hard choices to obey what we feel God has called us to do, and for whatever reason, I just can’t see anyone around us anymore. It feels so lonely, and makes me wonder if we’re doing the right thing.”

Have you been there too? I know I have. Although it’s critical that we surround ourselves with like-minded people and learn to run together, it’s equally important that we know how to run alone. Why?

Because we’re bound to spend a lot of time doing just that.

Last year, as we were praying, planning, and preparing for the adventure of RENEW, we met with lots of people who are considering whether or not to join this venture. And even though I prayed every single day that only those who God was calling to join would come, I still found myself–in my flesh–craving a nice-sized crowd around us. Sure, it was partly because I was genuinely excited for what God was doing and wanted as many people as possible to be involved.

But also because things are just so much more comfortable when a bunch of other people are around.

The key thought process is this: If a whole bunch of us are running this direction then it must be God, right?

Right?

But what if we’re called to run alone? Or with only a few? Does that mean we’re going the wrong direction?

Does a crowd = God’s blessing?

Does popularity prove it’s the hand of God?

Oh, friends, these lessons are not easy, and chances are we must learn them again and again (I have this past year!). Even though we are wise to consider the wise counsel of others, We cannot determine God’s will based on popular opinion.

Crowd-sourcing theology will never bring us to the heart of God.

If we only run as far as everyone else is willing to go, we’ll never really see His kingdom come.

So, we must learn to run alone. How?

By remembering that we never actually run alone. No matter who is with us and who is not, If we are walking with Jesus we are never running alone.

And as long as we crave the company of man more than the company of God, we will never go far in our Christian walk.  Just this morning in my quiet time I read:

“Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is none on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:23-26

There is none on earth I desire besides You.

It is awesome when a crowd gathers around. When many are there to cheer us on. It’s such a gift to have people are your right and left, running beside.

But we must be a people who run with God. 

HE must be who is at our right hand. Who we desire fellowship with more than anyone or anything else. No matter who comes and goes in our life, who starts with us or ends with us or comes just for a while. We must run with God. Our Source, our Joy, our Strength.

Revisiting this and recommitting again to run … no matter what. How can you run with Him this week? Thanks for reading. 

{Today I join a great team of bloggers in a Discipleship Series over at Man of Depravity. Enjoy!}

~

I was 18 when I first heard “disciple” used as a verb.

It baffled me at first, but I quickly determined to get with the times and find someone to “disciple” me. I picked a godly woman and penned the following letter:

Dear Elisa,

I heard about this cool thing called “discipling.”  Will you “disciple” me?  I’d really appreciate it. Thanks.

Love, Kari.

That was it. I had no idea what I was asking, but this simple letter was my best clueless effort at entering into a life of discipleship. This was before email, so I sealed the short letter in an envelope, dropped it in the mail, and waited.

A week later a fat envelope arrived. She responded by saying that the only way she would “disciple” me (she too used quotations) was if we could be friends. She then proceeded to share, page upon page, her entire testimony. In my mind, she was the most perfect woman I’d ever met. But here on these pages were highs and lows, joys and sorrows, strengths and weaknesses.

Human frailty, complexity, and a crazy belief in amazing grace.

I stared at the letter in disbelief. 

First, she wanted to be my friend?  I, a lowly and unworthy college freshman, riddled with fears and insecurities, befriended by this beautiful, angelic woman? Could this be real? Perhaps I had expected her to send me assignments, Bible verses to memorize, books to read, projects to complete. I had been waiting to see what she would require of me, or what curriculum we might use. Surely there was a program, right? But instead she only asked for my friendship. 

And so began the journey of 15 years (and counting!) of discipleship. 

Perhaps you ask, “Haven’t you graduated by now? Are you still her disciple after all this time?”  People graduate from programs, they don’t graduate from relationships. Relationships change, yes. We’re more peers now, but I still look to her for insight, advice, counsel, prayer. I believe I always will. That’s what discipleship is.

Real discipleship is an intentional relationship for the purpose of growing in Christlikeness.

So, what did she teach me? Here are 15 quick thoughts on discipleship, one for each year of our relationship:

1. To make disciples, my whole life must be an example. In 1 Corinthians 4:15-17 Paul says, “Even though you have ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. Therefore I urge you to imitate me.”  Later in 1 Corinthians 11:1 he exhorts them, “Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.” Paul models his whole life after Christ they can model their life after him. Discipleship is not a program, it is a whole-life endeavor.
2. I cannot teach others what I do not know myself. A teacher is primarily a learner.  If I want to teach others, I must identify myself primarily as a learner, one who goes through things, learns, gleans, and then hopefully is able to help others along the way.  More is caught than taught.
3. The most effective discipleship takes place living life together.  Jesus didn’t have little one-hour meetings scheduled with his disciples.  They didn’t go through a workbook. He lived life with them!  He ate with them, drank with them, ministered to others with them, and performed miracles in front of them.  His life was given to these men. This was his method.
4. Life-discipleship requires vulnerability and humility. When we live life with those we disciple, we are opening ourselves to the possibility of pain, criticism, and betrayal.  Jesus knew this better than anyone, and chose to be vulnerable anyway.
5. Choose a few. You can go through a workbook with 15 people at once. You can pump hundreds of people through a video curriculum and pat yourselves on the back for “making disciples.” You can only live life with a few. Maybe one or two at at time. We are wise to follow Jesus’ example and choose a very few to have this special, intimate discipleship relationship with. Pray and ask God for wisdom on who the few should be who you will do life with. Then commit to them.
6. Make God’s Word the core. While living life together is great, every interaction must be soaked with God’s Word if true discipleship is to take place. Read the Word together often. Study it. Pray through it. Obey it. Nothing will happen without it.
7. Pray, pray, pray. It’s so easy to forget prayer. Pray for your disciple daily. Pray together. Model prayer. Encourage the young disciple to communicate with God on her own. Connect her directly to Him, so she’s not dependent on you.
8. Fellowship is spiritual too. Relational discipleship makes space for just hanging out. Often the greatest conversations take place while cooking together, or going for a run, or watching a worthwhile movie.
9. Leave the results to God. Sometimes, you will pour your heart and soul and time and energy into someone, and hewon’t give a lick. Or worse, he’ll turn and reject you. It happened to Jesus. Don’t take too much credit for the success or failure of others. Each person must make his own choices. Leave the results to God.
10. Know when to let go. Although relationships may last a lifetime, seasons change. When a young disciple is flourishing and well-equipped to fly on her own, give her the space to do just that.
11. Avoid making Mini-Me’s. Yes, Paul says, “Imitate me as I imitate Christ,” but we must be drawing people only to Christ and not to our own pet passions or personalities. We are not seeking to make little replicas of ourselves. Just as with parenting, we are seeking to teach, empower, and equip another person to know, follow, and obey Christ in the way they should go. Their path will look different from your own.
12. Beware of jealousy. Sadly, it is possible for us to feel threatened if someone we disciple flourishes spiritually and proves to be wiser, more gifted, or more godly than we are. We must remember that our goal is to lift others higher than ourselves. If we’re ever tempted to keep others below ourselves, repent fast!! The way up is the way down.
13. Beware of loving the love. The truth is that someone you disciple will probably grow to love you. They might even tell you how great you are.  Thank them, praise God, and then forget about it.  Constantly guard your heart against living for the praise of people. As Paul said to his disciples, “Nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others” (1 Thess 2:6).
14. People are not projects.   No one likes to be a project.  If you are trying to “fix” people, don’t disciple. If you love telling other people what to do, don’t disciple.  If you love people, you’re on the right track. Don’t just influence people, love them.
15. Disciple–and be discipled by–those who are different from you. The truth is, we don’t learn much from people who are just like us. Purposefully putting ourselves in situations where we are outside our comfort zones enables us to see more of  God, challenging our assumptions and opening our eyes to the multi-faceted beauty of God.

As you may conclude from this list, discipleship isn’t separate from life. All of life is discipleship. Although some relationships have a more intense focus, all of life should and can be an intentional journey of building relationships which edify, encourage, exhort, sharpen, and draw us close to Christ. We can disciple everyone in our lives by simply being intentional and striving constantly toward a more gospel-centered, Christ-adoring, self-sacrificing life of love and devotion to God.

A wise woman once looked me in the eyes and said, “Kari, you pursue Christ full-steam ahead, and others will be caught up in your wake.”

May others be caught up in yours, for the glory of God.

{Thanks for reading.}