Category Archives: Sacred Mundane

Yes, another book review. 🙂  I just finished Spiritual Mentoring: A Guide for Seeking and Giving Direction by Randy Reese and Keith Anderson. Excellent!  One of the things I love about it is that it comes at discipleship (called Spiritual Mentoring here) from the perspective of … dead people! Yes, they pick the brains of great men and women of God who have gone before us: Julian of Norwich, Augustine, Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, Ignatius of Loyala.   I’m simply including some exerpts here to whet your appetite. Definitely worth reading!

“Spirituality is practical: everything can be seen as a container of the holy. In fact, the everyday containers of time and place become holy as God’s presence fills them. Spirituality is, therefore, inherently and intensely sacramental.  We understand that God’s presence is not confined to that which is sacred; rather God’s grace is mediated through the ordinary.  It is experiential rather than abstract.  As an old Russian proverb says, “Every day can be a messenger of God.” (p. 26)

Amen!  Does this sound familiar? The Sacredness of the Mundane perhaps?

And on motivation for discipling:

“If there is a desire to instruct and tutor another in the ways you have found useful, perhaps it is time to think again. Mentoring is not about telling. It is about listening-to the Holy Spirit and to the life of another.”  (p. 28)

Listening.  All about learning to listen.

“Pay attention for the presence of God in everything … spiritual mentoring is a relationship that helps us pay attention to our stories and to recognize there the already present action of God.”  (p. 40)

On sharing our stories, our pain:

“When he wrote his book on ministry, Henri Nouwen called it The Wounded Healer because he understood that only those whose own hearts have been wounded by suffering of life can be authentically available to others, it is through telling our own histories of pain and joy that we can serve the needs of others, which is ministry.”  (p. 88)

On our spiritual life:

“A commonly held view today equates our spirituality with our devotional life … If I “feel” God in my prayer life or if I “hear” God in almost auditory experience, if I “see” God in a mystical or charismatic vision, then my spiritual life is good, strong, or effective.  The universal teaching of spirituality over all the centuries speaks in unison: God speaks to us in many ways; spirituality is learning to pay attention to the presence of God in everything.  Spiritual listening is never limited to the activities of worship, daily devotions, or spiritual exercises.  It echoes in unexpected ways every hour of the day or night.” (p. 95) 

And

“Prayer is pilgrimage. The closer I get to the goal, the farther away I might feel.  The more holy I become, the less holy I know myself to be.  The more experienced I am in my ministry, the less competent I may feel to lead others to spiritual growth.”  (p. 118)

On necessary, brutal self-examination:

“[Ignatius] understood that we are capable of ‘quenching the spirit’ through ‘inordinate attachments,’ that is, distractions, digressions, habits, or sins that block our progress or keep us from knowing the will of God…Though this sort of self-examination is not a popular discipline today, a sober moral and spiritual inventory of the heart is essential to the spiritual journey. We stop and ponder our own persistence at disobedience.”  (p. 136)

On the reflective life:

“Ignatian methods may be difficult for many in our frantically busy world, but reflective living is surely not impossible for any of us. Even as we wait at the traffic light, can we not lift a prayer?  As we wait in line at the bank, can we not think about the moments of our day? As we drive everywhere, can we turn off the radio, tapes and CDs and listen reflectively to the events of our day? Certainly the discipline of creating time for reflection is a lifeline for spiritual health. Without times in quiet, thoughtful reflection, our spirituality remains shallow, anemic and misguided.”  (p. 145)

On identifying one’s own voice in history:

“Your own voice will reflect the holy history of your own life and its experiences…It is an unfortunate conspiracy of adults and painful experiences that stifle a child.”  (p. 156)

Good stuff!

This morning I read these words of Jesus in my quiet time:

“…For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.  A good man out of the good treasure ofhis heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things. But I say to you that every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the the day of judgment.  For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”  Matthew 12:34-37

It naturally reminded me of the ever-convicting words of Paul…

“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”  Ephesians 4:29

And of James:

“But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.  With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.”  James 3:8-10

Then Jeff stumbled across this video, by John Piper’s DesiringGod ministry, which dramatizes the James 3 passage powerfully:

Wow.  Jeff and I were both reminded several times in the past week just about how unruly our tongues can be, especially with regard to “foolish talking and course jesting” (Eph. 5:4).  We live in such an age of sarcasm, and yes perhaps “we kid because we care”, but several times I’ve thought of just how stupid I can be, how often I’d like to go back and just delete something I say.  But there’s no option for that. And the things that we say in our least guarded moments are revelatory of our hearts, just as Jesus said.

I am challenged by Jesus reminder that we will be judged by the idle words that we speak.  Words are a gift.  A tool.  A means of furthering the kingdom of God and providing healing for those who are wounded.  How do I use my words?

A few nights ago Jeff and I went and saw Fireproof, the new movie about the Love Dare.  The Love Dare was a 40-day challenge, with each day presenting a new thing for Caleb, the main character, to do for his wife in order to learn the meaning of true love and commitment.  Day One of the Love Dare quoted James 3, and challenged Caleb to refrain from saying anything negative or critical to his wife.  I think it’s interesting that the Love Dare started with words.  It didn’t start with flowers, romance, or even anything to do with praying together or reading Scripture together. It just started with taming the tongue.  James tells us the tongue is the rudder that steers the entire ship, perhaps there is wisdom then in starting there.

I’m enormously challenged in this area. Our culture uses sarcasm, belittles, and throws words around with no caution whatsoever.  The norm is to use words manipulatively, for our own gain and benefit.  Scripture says our words are sacred, blessing God.  How we use them will steer the course of our life.  By our words we will be justified, and by our words we will be condemned.

So this challenge this week is watch our words.  My personal challenge is to not use sarcasm or say anything belittling or negative this week.  I will not complain.  Perhaps you want to do something similar.  Ask your spouse for accountability.  Try day one of the Love Dare, and refuse to say anything critical to your spouse.  Tailor make the challenge for your own life.  Where does your verbal life need to change?  God give us the grace to use words for your glory, for furtherance of your Kingdom, and to build up and heal those in our lives.  We know we need to grow. Give us grace.

My pastor said a great thing the other day that was totally out of character for him (he’s very soft, funny, not an in-your-face kind of guy).  He said, “There’s only one reason why you don’t read your Bible.  Because you’re arrogant.”  We sat in silence for a second.  “Arrogant.  The reason I don’t read my Bible is that I’m arrogant.  I don’t think I’m desperate enough to search God’s Word for more revelation of Himself and His will.  I’m arrogant.” 

I would wholeheartedly agree.  And in order to make the charge more convicting for me personally, I would add, There’s only one reason why you don’t pray more.  Because you’re arrogant.  There’s only one reason I don’t pray more. It’s not that I don’t have time (I have time for dessert, time for homework, and time to do the laundry).  It’s because I arrogantly don’t believe I’m that dependent on God.  Challenging.

Just a thought for the day…

I know, this sounds morbid. It’s late and I’m exhausted so this will be short.  As you know, our church has done a One Month to Live series, looking at life from the perspective of knowing your time on earth is short.  I haven’t read the book so can’t recommend it, but the perspective has been great. Then, tonight I read my friend Caila’s blog, and she too was asking the question, “What would you do if you have one month to live?”  It’s a fabulous question.  My answer, though I wish were more spiritual, went something like this:

Hold my son so close I could taste his breath and kiss his cheeks and never let go. I would stay up all night, every night, writing him letters for him to read throughout his life, and telling him how enormously proud I am of him. I would video myself singing to him and telling him how much I love him so he could know my voice and know how in love with him I am. I would spend the rest of my hours praying for his precious little life to be lived for God.

Then I would lie in my husband’s arms and smell his chest and watch our son sleep. I would tell him a million times over how his undying love has changed my life. While he slept I would write him a hundred letters to read later…  Ok, crying too hard to continue.

Right after Duch was born, I did just that.  I wrote two long letters, one to Jeff and one to Dutch, to read only in the event that I’m no longer here.  I wept as I wrote them (I’m weeping now) because the thought of my son growing up without knowing my love is too much for me to even comprehend.  But I’m so glad I wrote them, because at least I know that no matter what, I’ve said what I know I want to say.  I’ve even told Jeff I want the song, “In Christ Alone” played at my memorial.  I know those are small things, but more than my life being something big, I just want it to be real.  I just want those very closest to me to see Christ burning in my life more than anything else. 

So though it’s not a fun topic, our challenge this week is to prepare to die.  Just give it some thought. What is unfinished that needs to be taken care of?  Who is there you need to forgive, or ask forgiveness of?  Do you need to write a letter to someone, or tell your spouse how blessed you truly are?  Do you need to invest in your child more than invest in the stock market?  Which needs more attention, the crumbs at your feet or the spouse at your side?  Does anything need to change?  Lord, show us.

Better to go to the house of mourning Than to go to the house of feasting, For that is the end of all men; And the living will take it to heart.  Ecc. 7:2

Let’s take it to heart.

I feel like for the past few weeks blogging has been a challenge, because there is so much I want to write about, but can’t yet.  And I will still wait to share details until certain people have been able to share certain things, but I’d happily email with you if you’re interested!

As any of you who have followed this blog, or our lives, know, we’ve had a few disappointments in the past few years, related to ministry.  We’ve both sensed God’s call on Jeff’s life to be a pastor, that He’s called us to serve Him full-time in vocational ministry, and yet the 4 1/2 year “shelved” period has been long, at least for us it has felt long.  The San Jose experience, though God’s grace shown through it and has taught more than any other life lesson, still haunted us.  We didn’t realize it until this past week.  We were basically offered the job of Jeff’s dreams, I’ll tell you that much.  I was so overwhelmed with joy I was weeping. It was like everything God had hard-wired into Jeff was wrapped up in this opportunity, and it also had glorious implications for me as well.  Then due to really simple circumstances, we had to wait 2 weeks for it to be official (for us to find out the details).  Again, due to simple circumstances, we didn’t hear anything for a little while, and both Jeff and I thought of the worst.  By the time we had our meeting yesterday Jeff and I were both convinced that the whole thing would fall apart, they would back out, and since we’d gone ahead and closed the door on the other opportunities in our life, we would be flat on our backs again, with nothing…just like in San Jose. 

I didn’t really make the connection until Jeff called his dear friend Adam and shared his anxiety with him. Adam said, “Bro, you know they’re not going to back out.  The San Jose thing has really wounded you, hasn’t it?”  At the same time I had emailed my mom and asked her to pray for us as we both felt so vulnerable and anxious, afraid they would back out at the last minute, or only pay us a pittance which we’d be unable to live on.  She wrote back, “It’s startling to see how much San Jose has scarred you.”  I sat and stared at those words realizing she was right.  So Jeff and I began to pray.  We know a cautious heart was wise, not taking anything for granted, not assuming anything, and not having expectations.  But we also know God did not want us to be in a place of constant fear, dreading that any future ministry employer would use us or turn on us or back out on us at any moment’s notice.  After spending time on our knees, we came to the place where we could say, “Even if that happens again, we’ll be ok.  Even if God makes us re-live our hurt from San Jose, we’ll be ok, because God is faithful.  He is our hope, our provider, our sustainer.”  Even writing those words brings tears to my eyes now…as I look at the rest of the story.

Suffice it to say, our experience yesterday was as if God took every single hurtful thing we’d ever experienced from our ministry disappointments … and reversed it.  Through the generosity, love, care, attention, and support of those we are partnering with, we were left in absolute awe of God.  Truly above and beyond anything we could have ever imagined. 

This morning as I opened up my Bible for my quiet time, I knew it was no accident.  As I read through the book of Joel, that classic passage, spoken to the children of Israel, became new for me in a whole new way, showing me the heart of my loving Father.  It was if God were saying

“So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locusts has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, my great army which I sent among you.  You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt wondrously with you.”  (Joel 2:25-26) 

Tears streamed down my face as I read.  This is my God.  My good God.  Yes, I know there are more trying times ahead, probably more trying than I can even imagine. But right now, at this moment, looking over the past 4 1/2 years, I can only say that God is so good.  I will share more details in the next few weeks, but for right now, I just had to share my joy with you.  We turn our eyes to God and praise Him, for He is holy, He is worthy, He is good. His ways are perfect.  His love beyond our comprehension.  Great is our God. 

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Jeff has shared more on this (with more detail) from his perspective.  Check out his thoughts…

Tonight at church Pastor Joel finished his One Month to Live series talking about Leaving Boldly.  The gist of it was understanding the kind of legacy we leave when we pass into eternity.

At one point he flashed different pictures of well-known people on the screen.  Oprah, Jerry Springer, Michael Jordan, OJ Simpson, Britney Spears, Abraham Lincoln, Richard Nixon, Bill Gates, Billy Graham, Michael Jackson.  In an instant one’s mind associates that person with something–excellence, hard work, faithfulness, scandal, crime, drugs, or just waste.  It is scary how easily we are “known for” one thing or another.

But tonight as I got ready for bed what struck me was that the enormity of such a thing as a legacy is really just determined by a million little things.  Michael Jordan’s legacy of basketball excellence didn’t come through one huge decision or act of bravery, it came through a million little choices, to work hard, defeat the odds, persevere.  Mother Teresa, as Joel pointed out, didn’t decide one day that she wanted to earn the Nobel Peace Prize, she got up every morning, prayed for an hour, read her Bible, and then loved on lepers and AIDS victims each day, made small choices and the occasional big one, to do little things each day to make a difference. 

The legacy I leave is decided in the small stuff. The way I spend my discretionary income and time, the way I treat the cashier at the store, the way I respond when Dutch throws a fit, the way I do or don’t turn to God when I’m discouraged.  The choice comes in getting up every day and deciding, “Will I live for my pleasure and comfort or will I live for the Kingdom of God, something far greater, which outlasts anything on earth?”  How I answer that question, a million times a day, will determine my legacy. 

Lastly, Joel pointed out how no one has to teach us to procrastinate.  We do that pretty naturally.  But the best time to live not for ourselves but for God’s glory, is now.  The best time to deny my own selfish desires for gain and temporary pleasure is now.  The best time to seek God’s heart is now. Nothing poured out at His feet is wasted. 

So tonight I’m just praying for God’s grace to follow Him in the million little things each day.  Father help my heart, my attitude, the details of life, to shine for You.  Help my life to display Your greatness, for others to see.  May my legacy be You, God.  For Your sake. Amen.

When was the last time you received a hand-written letter?  For most of us, we may not even remember.  Or perhaps you’re scratching your head, wondering what I’m even talking about.  You know, that thin flimsy stuff called paper, tucked inside a folded up little paper container called an envelope, and delivered by hand to your mailbox.  That’s a letter.

I had the joy of receiving, out of the blue, a hand-written card this week, and not just a card where the sender signs at the bottom and lets Hallmark say the rest, but a letter-in-a-card, the kind that’s filled with that amazing, barely discernable stuff we call hand-writing.  And I tell you, there’s something about a hand-written note or letter that does what no email can do.  There is something so meaningful about seeing that hand-written envelope, in the midst of the mound of junk mail, and realizing that while the rest of the world might want your money (via bills, donations, or credit cards), there is someone out there who took the time, the energy, and the forty-two cents, to sit down and write to you just because they love you. 

A wonderful professor of mine, who is also a senior pastor, shared that for the 25 years that he’s been a pastor, he makes it a habit, every Monday, to write 5 hand-written notes to people in his congregation. Either thank yous, encouragement, or just a note to say he cares, he keeps his eye out during the week to see who might be blessed by a a little extra something.  He said his wife does the same thing with the church directory each week, praying through the names and asking God who might benefit from a personalized note of love.  I dare say that no matter what this pastor preached from the pulpit, the people in his congregation felt loved and blessed. 

So our challenge this week is to write one, just one, hand-written letter or card.  In a world that is driven by electronic, impersonal communication (and usually for the purpose of selfish gain!), writen an old-fasioned letter for the sake of the recipient.  Ask for nothing, just give a little of yourself.  You’ll be surprised at how much you gain in return.

As you know, my theme and topic for some time has been exploring the idea of Expectancy without Expectation.  After wading through about 4 1/2 years of disappointment, I began to realize that my recurring disappointments were closely related to my expectations.  Expectation leads to disappointment. Expectancy is the opposite of expectation. Expectancy is believing that God is going to do glorious things, Expectation is telling God what those things are.

So I feel like all the dots are finally connecting in terms of understanding the disappointment cycle.  I know this isn’t rocket science, but having all the pieces put together into a diagram really helps my thinking and helps me be better able to determine if I’m hoping in a circumstance or hoping in God, waiting on a person or waiting on God.

The Disappointment Cycle goes like this:  FEAR —-> Expectation —–> Disappointment —-> FEAR, etc.

Fear causes us to set up expectations becuase we are afraid that God won’t really do the good things He’s promised, we don’t really believe that He’s able to provide for us or take care of us or do exceedingly abundantly above all we could ever ask or imagine (Eph. 3:20).  We don’t believe Him, so we are fearful, because we are fearful, we set up expectations because we’re afraid to surrender and let go, and because we have expectations, we get disappointed, which fuels our fear because we say, “See, God didn’t come through how I wanted Him to. I can’t trust Him.” Then we are more fearful, which leads to more expectations…you get the point.

The Fulfillment Cycle goes like this:  FAITH ——-> Expectancy ——-> Fulfillment ——–> FAITH, etc.

True faith (not just believing God for something but believing God period), means that we believe God enough to let go of our expectations, choosing instead to live in expectancy, believing that He will do greater and more glorious things (for His glory) than I could ever imagine, and I don’t have to tell Him what those things should be.  Because of this, we experience true expectancy, which pleases God, and we are then allowed to see true fulfillment, perhaps not of what we had in mind, but even greater things as God works His plans in our lives. When we experience glorious fulfillment, our faith is bolstered which gives us even more courage to surrender and trust Him with true expectancy for even more things, and fulfillment comes…you get the point.

Both are cycles, and I believe both can be habits.  I’m certainly well acquainted with the disappointment cycle–I’ve got that one down pat. But I’m just now climbing on the Fulfillment cycle, and praying God will help me learn how to ride it with as much consistency as I used to ride the other.  Grace, Lord!

I’m not there yet, but I’m on the way.  And praise God for moments of clarity, when we can see the ways we’ve gotten on the disappointment cycle for way too long. I pray we would begin, moment by moment and day by day, to let go of our fear, let go of our expectation, and live in true faith and expectancy, believing God period.  He is worthy of our trust.  Amen?