Not Meant to Be
… that is what my last post was, apparently. For some reason I wrote the whole thing–clicked “publish”, and it disappeared into the ether. Oh well. It was on the blessedness of possessing nothing (AW Tozer, Pursuit of God, chapter 2), and talked about having all things with an open hand. Guess that was my chance to practice what I preach!
Just wanted you to know I’m still alive and well. A very busy week with some wonderful family time. Life lessons to come. Enjoy this sunshine!
Home-Grown, Hand-Made
Not sure how this post will take form because I am so tired I cannot even form a coherent thought. Jeff’s so deliriously tired he inadvertently brought me a sippy cup of milk in bed. I directed him down the hall to try the other little blond person in our house.
Why so tired? Because in the midst of church activities this weekend we embarked on a yard-work marathon. Last weekend we built a 50-foot retaining wall in our yard. We carried every last stone (4 1/2 TONS of them), leveled it all, wheelbarrow-ed all the gravel. Jeff spent hours installing a special drainage system because we live on a hill. I had no idea the extent of this project. So. Much. Work.
This weekend we trenched our our sprinkler system (above), roto-tilled our entire back yard to grade it out for lawn, and then built a cedar deck onto the back of our house. My dad tilled and hauled and drove nails until his back about gave out and his right palm was one big blister. Dutch toted tools. Heidi ate dirt. We all enjoyed messy BBQ’d hamburgers and my first (and fabulously successful, I might add) attempt at homemade baked beans.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought, “If only we would’ve just hired someone to do this whole stupid yard. I’m so tired I never want to lift another retaining wall stone or 2×6 or haul another load of gravel in my life.” But, tonight as I sat on that freshly laid cedar decking, inhaling its amazing scent, and looked out over our project, I had to admit that there’s something special about doing it all ourselves.
I know we’ll look back on this summer with amazing memories. I can already imagine the conversations when we’re old and decrepit: “Remember when we were two young crazies that we built that cotton-pickin’ wall? Remember how the kids played in the dirt while we drove nails and shoveled dirt?” We’ll laugh. We’ll reminisce. And, at this rate, we’ll likely still be getting chiropractic work done on our backs. There really is something special about hand-made things.
And home-grown. That might be my very favorite thing about summer. I planted my very own garden this year. First ever. Well, first since the ground has been mine–growing up mom always let my brother and I have our own little plot of land in her big garden. I loved working in the dirt and still remember picking the fresh beans and carrots, the rhubarb and strawberries. In my garden we’re just harvesting the delicious sugar-snap peas (left). Dutch loves to stand out there and pick peas, popping them in his mouth like candy. Today during our work party we had a huge salad with baby gourmet salad greens fresh from my parents’ garden. We had had homemade baked beans–real ones that you soak overnight and cook with bacon. So good!
Earlier this week a dear woman from church dropped off 3 containers of fresh still-warm-from-the-sun, hand-picked strawberries (right: aren’t they beautiful?!). She and her kids had just picked them and she generous shared. They were AMAZING! I’d forgotten what real strawberries tasted like. I’ll admit I “picked” mine at Costco, but these were the real deal. Dutch and I polished of all three containers before the afternoon was over. We sat on the counter, next to the sink, rinsing and popping them in our mouths, gobbling and savoring the sweet perfection.
One thing I noticed. Hand-made and home-grown might not look as impressive. Check out these strawberries. One is from Costco. One is from some field out in rural Clackamas county. These were the average size of their bunch. Interesting. But, one was also infinitely tastier. A lot more work, perhaps, but so tasty!
So I’m learning to appreciate homemade and homegrown. I suppose there’s no inherent virtue in doing things yourself, and I have done a fair share of homemade attempts that have convinced me that I have some significant skill-limitations, so some things are better simply bought at a store (knitting and sewing to name a few). But I’m sure learning a lot through all of this, and I think Dutch might be too. He’s learning about gardening, building, working hard. I suppose Heidi is learning about dirt. We’re all learning the blessing of a couple advil, and when to sit down and take a rest. We’re loving family bathtime every evening, and I’m learning to ignore the brown ring in the tub. It’s a sign of a job well done.
So Happy 4th to all. This tired girl is off to bed. What do you enjoy that is homemade or homegrown? I’d love to hear as we celebrate this glorious season called Summer.
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*Here’s also to my dad, our hero, who has labored to no end to help us in this endeavor. I started building decks with my dad when I was 15-years-old, and this is the first one we’ve done that I get to keep! I love you, daddy–thanks for being the best dad a girl could ever imagine.
Planted
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree, planted by streams of water and yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. Psalm 1:1-3
This week I am overwhelmed by God’s goodness. I’d mentioned before that April and May had me in a funk something terrible. Of course there are always a number of factors that play into those things, but one was the arrival of my 30th birthday. I know, I know–30 is still young, but birthdays always bring an assortment of mixed emotions, especially milestone ones. The emotion I was most clearly sensing was this: For my whole life I’ve been basically running at a sprint pace into the next “thing” to accomplish. College in three years, ministry training school, teaching, getting married, college ministry, moving to San Jose, moving back, finishing seminary, having a baby, having another baby, moving ELEVEN times, getting a job, selling two houses, buying a house, fixing up the house, starting in women’s ministry, run run run! Then all of a sudden, this June, when our schedule slowed and I sat back, I realized,
“Hm…this is it. I mean, of course I’ll keep running for Jesus, but I don’t have any big thing on the horizon to run toward, to strive after. I’m planted. Jeff’s a pastor, we have a house, we have our two kids, I’m doing women’s ministry. Really, everything we were working toward … we have. And now … I’m 30, and my roots are down. No more running. I can’t even run to Starbucks without 30 minutes prep of potty and shoes on and diaper change and carseats strapped and snacks packed and books in hands and sippy cups and AHH!! I’m planted to be sure! Stuck right down in the mud!”
Ok, I’m exaggerating, but sometimes when we’ve been running for so long, chasing after each new thing, it’s kind of a rude awakening to go, “Hm.. this is my life. And, it’s actually fairly ordinary.” And yes, I know, my whole passion in life is the sacredness of the mundane, right? Well the mundane just didn’t seem that sacred. It felt more like being planted in mud. There were even a few thorns to be quite frank with you.
So my 30th birthday came, and my amazing husband and friends truly overwhelmed me with love. I, who am never surprised by anything, was surprised over and over and over. What I thought was a “shark party” for Dutch turned out to be a family birthday party for 
me (complete with shark cake, check it out). The day of my birthday my best friend of 30 years (yes, we were born friends) came over for the day and brought every favorite food of mine, Izze grapefruit drinks, Food Should Taste Good chips, mango salsa, and gooey chocolate chip cookies. Then my husband surprised me by coming home early, arranging babysitting by my parents,and whisking me away for the evening. What he had done was the most amazing gift anyone’s ever given me. He created a website, for me, and had friends and family write special posts for me, for my birthday. It was unbelievable. Friends from ages ago, recent friends, family, co-workers at church … I sat there in Starbucks, sipping my decaf caramel frappucino (my birthday included a lot of calories!), and laughed until my side hurt, cried until my nose ran, shook my head in awe that my dear friends and family would take the time to encourage, love, and affirm me in that way. I was absolutely undone and overwhelmed with love.
And it showed me that roots are a beautiful thing. That being planted is the best place to be. Though all the posts were amazing to me, the ones that had me in stitches were remarkable all in the same way–they recounted innumerable memories of times shared together. Hard times, laughter, embarrassing moments, growth in godliness, epiphanies and insights, heartache and breakthrough. I was struck by the fact that most people only share those kind of memories at someone’s funeral. What a gift, an amazing gift, to get to read and revel in the joy of those memories while one is still alive!
The night finished with Jeff surprising me with an amazing Thai dinner with a few more long time friends–a guy friend of 26 years, and a girlfriend of about 22 years. Again I found myself just sitting there marveling at how rich those relationships are, those roots that go down and down and down. Roots of relationship built on Christ.
And I have new roots too, new roots in our WCC home, that I cherish and nurture and water and look forward to watching as they grow down down in Christ.
So today, in a deliriously joyful state because of the sun, I spent 
the afternoon working in my garden. This is my first garden that’s not in pots. I’ve only been able to plant things in pots because–surprise!–we moved so often. This is my first garden that’s not moving! It’s planted. My first snow-pea blossoms burst out in beautiful white today. The Bibb lettuce looks brilliantly green against the damp dark dirt. Roots are growing and flowers are blooming. I’m s
o thankful to be planted, and I pray God will help me blossom here, to bear fruit for His glory, in this season of life. I’m embracing 30, and praying that God will keep me fixated on His word, abiding in His presence, walking in His grace. Thank you so much to those of you who contributed to the precious little birthday website. You know who you are and I am overwhelmed with thankfulness that you would take the time to love me in that way.
Lord plant us. Water us. Let our roots go deep and our fruit abound, for your glory. Amen.
Spiritual Immunizations & Quaint Religious Charms
I believe that the unbelieving world, as opposed to the church, can at times give us the greatest insight into what is lacking in our Christian faith. This is one of the reasons I love reading secular books (and should more often). This time, a message hit me not from one, but three angles in the past week.
Last weekend, in a great sermon on godly parenting, Joel gave an interesting illustration that’s stuck with me all week. He made the rather bold point that if we, as parents, are just giving our children a little tiny dose of Jesus we may be doing them more harm than good. We may, in fact, be preventing them from wholeheartedly trusting and following Christ as adults.
Consider immunizations. When we give someone a flu shot, we’re actually giving them what? A little tiny dose of the flu. Give them just enough and it will keep them from getting the full-blown flu. The natural reaction of the body is able to ward off and render harmless the flu virus. Is it possible to immunize our children from Jesus? Studies have often shown that those who are soured most on Christianity are not those people who have had no exposure to church and the Bible, but rather are those who, as children, either had bad experiences in the church or parents who sat in pews on Sunday but showed zero evidence of living out that faith the other six days of the week. They had a tiny dose and therefore were apparently immune to the full-blown effect of the risen Lord.
Why is this? Because a parent who models a half-hearted or Sunday-morning faith is essentially saying, “I know all about this Jesus guy and He’s not significant enough for me to actually change my life. It’s just not that big of a deal.” That, friends, is a scary message to give our children. It’s not just that we haven’t given our children enough religious experience, it’s that we’ve proven by our lives that there are no real-life implications of believing in God. Kids aren’t stupid. Why would they want to believe in something that doesn’t matter? So they abandon ship. Of course, they hold this stance only until they have their own children. Then they decide they want their children to “have religion”, so they wind up doing the exact same routine as their parents. No real faith, just going through the motions. And in these motions, another generation is immunized from faith in Christ. Frightening.
Along this same vein, a paragraph from Annie Dillard’s An American Childhood stuck out to me tonight. Dillard, a secular author, beautifully articulates this from a perspective outside of my own. Here she reminisces her fond memories of summer Presbyterian church camp:
“The adult members of society adverted to the Bible unreasonably often. What arcana! Why did they spread this scandalous document before our eyes? If they had read it, I thought, they would have hid it. They didn’t recognize the vivid danger that we would, through repeated exposure, catch a case of its wild opposition to their world. Instead they bade us study great chunks of it, and think about those chunks, and commit them to memory, and ignore them. By dipping us children in the Bible so often, they hoped, I think, to give our lives a serious tint, and to provide us with quaintly magnificent snatches of prayer to produce as charms while, say, being mugged for our cash or jewels.” (p. 134)
Did you READ that? I read it over and over. The women is a literary genius, of course, but she’s also hitting the nail on the head, and the conviction is well-earned. If our lives have not been transformed, utterly and completely transformed by the power of the gospel, then what are we doing teaching it to our children? The gospel is scandalous; its claims are spectacular, it is “wild opposition to the world”. How tragic it would be if we taught our children to study Christ’s claims, “commit them to memory, and ignore them.” Wow. Is that not what we are doing when we ourselves ignore them? Are we not then merely giving our children’s lives a “serious tint” and giving them “quaintly magnificent snatches of prayer to produce as charms”?
That is cause for fear, parents. For all Christians, for that matter. The friends, neighbors, co-workers in our lives learn about Christ the exact same way our children do--by watching us. That is reason to evaluate the way that we live out the gospel, to get on our knees and spread God’s Word before us and pray, “Do this to me! Do this to me!” We must not immunize our children from the beauty of Christ by living as if He matters little or not at all.
In the middle of all this I am also reading The Hole in our Gospel by Richard Stearns. I’d rather you read it yourself than hear me do it injustice in a summary, but in short–this one man’s life was transformed from success to significance when he put into practice the claims of Christ and followed the clear calling on his life. He boldly asserts that we will not be able to reap a harvest of souls converted to Christ until we cultivate the spiritual field of hearts by living out the gospel of love, compassion, and social justice in our world. How many thousands of lives have been touched simply because this one man decided to really act on the claims of Christ. It is humbling, challenging, inspiring.
Few of us need to learn much more. We just need to do what we know. My prayer, my goal, my personal challenge, is to obey every Word that I read each morning. That might mean reading less. 🙂 But I pray that our children would be more than spiritually immunized and have more than quaint religious charms thrust into their hands. Let’s ask God what that means for us today.
The Sacredness of My Mundane
Today was mundane. Well, from 7:15am on it’s been mundane. From 6-7:15am I was at Morning Prayer, which was anything but mundane. We continue to be surprised and amazed at the way God is answering prayer in our lives and the lives of those around us. That was my spiritual shot of caffeine this cold and drizzly Monday morning.
And then it was home (which I love, thank you God for the honor of staying home!)–making oatmeal, pouring milk, brewing tea. It was practicing consistency (word, warning, back it up!) when Dutch wanted to get up before his magic morning-hour. It was nursing Heidi on the couch while warming Dutch’s feet under my legs. It was dishes, cleaning up Heidi’s high chair”artwork”, changing a diaper, dressing wiggly warm little bodies, kissing toes and nibbling fingers, practicing consistency with Dutch’s morning routine and chores. It was giving in to my tired body and brewing a cup of coffee.
Then it was gathering my “coupon-spree” stack and heading to Rite-Aid. Of course nothing was as I thought it would be, so then it was scouring the store for the best deal so I could use my $5 off $20 coupon that expires on Friday, while Heidi lunged toward the shelves from the front-pack and Dutch repeatedly said loudly and anxiously (but using his manners), “Mommy, can you please get me some makeup?”
Then it was playing trains, reading a dozen books, soothing tears. It was making sandwiches, steaming vegetables, monitoring the spoonfuls of peanut butter (his dad taught him that trick). It was reminding myself that I’m trying to eat healthy, choosing to grab the banana on the counter and not the Moosetracks in the freezer.
And now by some miracle they are both asleep (Dutch’s first nap in 6 months), and I am here.
All of this is likely familiar to you. Our days are filled with routine, mundane tasks. Carpools and grocery runs. Wiping counters, noses, bottoms.
What is it, then, that is sacred?
All of it. Most of us are familiar with 1 Corinthians 10:31, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” All of life is sacred. If anything matters, everything matters. Because we are eternal beings, infused with dignity and value by our God-given identity as image-bearers of God, everything we do has spiritual significance. Every physical action has spiritual significance. This does not mean, however, that we fret and obsess over details. This afternoon, when I needed a snack, I chose a banana over an apple. Pretty sure nothing shifted in the heavenlies over that one. But part of trusting Christ is believing that at all times God is doing infinitely more than we can see with our physical eyes. It is, quite simply, walking by faith and not sight.
So today I trust God that He is using my stay-at-home-mom status to raise up warriors for God’s kingdom, even though it tends toward monotony. Today Dutch and I read a dozen stories, the last of which was a series of myths about how a turtle got its shell. To my surprise, in a little Golden Book, stories were shared about the Greek god Hermes, and a Native American god named Uncle. Dutch and I got to have a long talk about why “pretend gods” make God sad. I was so thankful that I got to be the first person to talk to him about false gods. He will spend the rest of his life being confronted with them, and, I hope and pray, confronting them.
All of us live in the mundane, not just stay-at-home-moms. My encouragement for today is to remember that living the sacredness of the mundane is to live by faith. My encounter with the grumpy woman at the grocery store, my choices on how to spend our money, the way I greet my husband at the door after work–a million choices add up to my life. Will it be extraordinary or ordinary? If I’m the main character in this story, what’s the point? I may as well pack up and go home. But if I’m a seemingly insignificant, yet vital, extra in God’s story, then all my life is infused with importance because it all has to do with glorifying an extraordinary God. And this, this remembrance that God is the main character, keeps it all in perspective. My life, every mundane detail, is part of the sacred story of God. Rumor has it that in the end He saves the day. Not sure how my coupon-clipping contributes, but I’ll do it by faith just the same.
Love Dare days 8-10
Day 8: Determine to become your spouse’s biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements
1 Peter 5 notes
Though I’m pretty sure us Willamette girls have had enough 1 Peter, here are chapter 5’s notes, in case any others are interested…
Peter has some challenging words for us today, and sometimes it helps, before grappling a new challenge, to reflect and see all that God has done in us these 9 weeks we’ve been together. It can encourage and remind us as we move ahead from this place.
- He’s promised us a heavenly inheritance that eclipses earthly trials.
- He’s equipped us to prepare our minds for action, training our thoughts to things that are helpful.
- He’s called us to worship Him through our lives and lips.
- He’s commanded us to submit to earthly authorities, entrusting ourselves to God’s care.
- He’s inspired us to cultivate inner beauty, through a calm and submissive spirit.
- He’s shown us how to prosper spiritually, how to answer effectively, and how to suffer confidently.
- He’s challenged us to forsake sin and instead serve one another with our spiritual gifts.
- He’s reminded us to rejoice in suffering, and mind our minds, so that God will be glorified.
- And finally today, in Peter’s parting words, I believe He’s revealed that humility is the root of it all, as demonstrated here through leading well, casting cares, and standing firm.
First, Humility as demonstrated through Leading Well.
V. 1 So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is to be revealed:
So, we always want to look at connections right, between passages. NIV doesn’t have it, but in the Greek—in ESV and NASB we see the “So” or “Therefore”. Now remember where we are in the context of the book—we’ve been discussing suffering, and then as Heather covered, in verse 17, we read “for it is time for judgment to begin at the household of God.”
1) The judgment, or the standard of godliness that begins with God’s people, must first and foremost begin with God’s leaders.
2) In the midst of a trials, tribulation, suffering, it is of paramount importance that godly leaders are in place, and that those leaders lead well, with humility and the fear of the Lord.
Now none of us are church elders, but we are leaders, and we are called to lead women. Now this certainly doesn’t mean that if you aren’t technically a leader at church you just tune out, right? If anything I hope in this study that God is raising you up as a leader. And even if He never does, you all have a responsibility to lead those entrusted to your care, and to support and pray for those leaders over you. So let’s see what Peter exhorts these leaders to do.
V. 2 Shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight…
God calls His leaders shepherds. No doubt Peter has in mind a very pointed conversation with Jesus, after Jesus’ resurrection, we find in John 21. Peter had rejected Christ and gone back to his old life of fishing. And of course they were catching no fish (funny how we never seem to prosper when we’ve strayed from Him), so Jesus tells them to cast the net on the other side of the boat (idiot advice, it would seem) and then they caught so many they couldn’t even haul them all in. And when Peter saw that it was Jesus, he stripped off his outer clothes and dove into the sea after him. (Still the same Peter!) And the rest of the disciples had to drag all the fish in. And back on shore, Jesus was making breakfast, fish and bread over a fire, and Jesus says to Peter:
Do you love me? Yes, Lord! “Feed my lambs.”
Do you love me? Yes, Lord! “Tend my sheep.”
Do you love me? Yes, Lord! “Feed my sheep.”
So Peter is passing on the very words of Jesus, exhorting the fellow leaders to shepherd God’s flock.
We may not like being called sheep…but that’s what we’re called throughout scripture—followers, not real smart, get spooked and scared very easily, are vulnerable to attack, stinky and smelly… you get the picture.
And Peter exhorts the shepherds in three ways, all of which underscore the importance of humility in the life of the leader. This is how to lead well.
1) Not under compulsion, but willingly as God would have you (v. 2).
This is saying that serving God through leadership shouldn’t be something you do begrudgingly. How do we know if we’re doing something begrudgingly? If we complain about it. This is so convicting. The moment we complain about our role of leadership, the moment we step out of God’s will. Why? Because the root of this complaining, compulsory, begrudging attitude is a lack of humility, or PRIDE. This is shown through an attitude that says, “Well I guess I’ll do it because there’s no one else to do it.” Which essentially says, “I’ll do it because there’s no one else as qualified as me, or there’s no one else as committed or selfless or devoted as me.” That is pride, and God detests it. We would be better off not serving than doing it with a grumbling, complaining heart.
Instead, serve, lead willingly, which demonstrates humility. This attitude says, “Wow, what an honor that God would allow me to serve in this way. I’m grateful for this honor. It’s hard sometimes, and sometimes I don’t really feel like doing it, but underneath all that I recognize that God doesn’t have to use me, He doesn’t need me, I’m not doing God a favor by serving or leading, He’s not lucky to have me. I’m lucky, blessed, to be able to serve Him in this capacity, whatever it is.” That’s serving with humility, that’s leading willingly. Whether you’re leading worship or taking out the trash, a humble heart serve willingly, not begrudgingly.
2) Not for shameful gain, but eagerly (v. 2)
This may have been referring to the fact that some elders were actually paid for their service, much like our pastors. It certainly isn’t wrong for elders to be paid a salary, in fact it’s biblical, but Peter’s saying, never let that gain be the reason you serve. If the only reason Joel or Jeff served was so that they got paid, we’d be in a heap of trouble, right? But no, in fact I’d say the struggle in our family is that Jeff is a little too eager to serve—because he practically lives here!
But even those of us who don’t get paid, can still be leading out of wrong motives, for shameful gain. What about serving or leading to boost our own ego? To meet our own need for feeling valuable and important? The second that our service becomes about anything other than humbly bringing people to see and experience the risen Christ, we are in the wrong place. And this is challenging, because honestly serving and leading is rewarding. And sometimes along the road you do get some pretty cool pats on the back. You can even get some pats on that back for doing humble things. But Oh, God for the humility to keep those things at arms length! Humility in leading means we do not do anything for the temporary glory of the praise of man or popularity or feeling important.
And when we do meet success in serving or leading, let us be SO careful to remain in that place of humility. When we receive a compliment, we must be very careful to keep it at arm’s length. We can take it receive it, praise God and then offer it up to Him as a sacrifice of praise, casting it before Him as worship. We know that for all eternity we will be casting our crowns before God’s throne. Well I like to think of praise and compliments here on earth as “mini crowns”, that I can choose cast at Jesus’ feet, offering them as worship to Him. But sometimes we just can’t help but take that crown and look at it, and admire it, and fall in love with it, and then put it on our head and it just feels so good and looks so pretty and next thing you know we’re wearing it and it’s an idol. It’s pride. Humility takes any success we have in any endeavor and offers it straight up to God.
3) Not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.
The third way we’re called to demonstrate humility through leading well, is by not lording over those we lead. Some of us want to be leaders because we like being in charge. Is that the right motivation to serve? What does Jesus say about this?
“You know the rulers of the Gentiles lord it overt them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:25-28
In the Kingdom of God leaders are servants. It is an upside down kingdom. Peter would have these words of Jesus still echoing in his mind. He would remember Jesus washing the disciple’s feet, just hours before he would be delivered up to be crucified. Jesus’s life was the ultimate example of servant leadership—giving up His own life for the sake of those He led.
Rather than domineering over, we’re called to be examples. It’s easy to tell someone what to do, it’s not easy to show them what to do through humble example. More is caught than taught, right? Paul spoke of this over and over, leading by example and telling others to imitate him as he imitated Christ 1 Corinthians 11:1, (which is the essence of discipleship). Paul exhorted Timothy, the young pastor at Ephesus, to not let anyone despise his youth, but to set an example for the believers. You’re never too young to lead by example. This is the way by which we lead well, through humility.
And in case all of this has scared you all away from leadership, then comes a promise:
V. 4 And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory.
There’s a reward that will never fade! Compliments fade, don’t they? You can receive applause and praise one moment and be totally forgotten the next. All our rewards here on earth fade. But faithful leaders are promised a reward in heaven that will never fade. So though we should be cautious of becoming leaders, knowing God’s judgment is stricter on us, knowing that there will be a special sort of suffering, a tighter discipline, we have a special promise of God’s reward. Our prayer is that God would welcome us with the words,
“’Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’” Matthew 25:23
So no matter where you serve, whether rocking infants or leading huge ministries, we are to serve faithfully, with humility, willingly, eagerly, and as examples.
V. 5 Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders.
We who are young have the tendency to think we have all the answers, so we need a special reminder of humble submission. Our culture could use a little reminding of the value of respecting our elders, can I get an amen?! J But then in the same breath, as if Peter could just see some of those proud older people nudging the youth at their sides, he goes on to say:
V. 5 Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
This word translated “clothe yourselves” is an unusual word that literally means to “put on an apron.” No doubt Peter had in his mind again that sacred scene from John 13, where hours before He is to be betrayed, Jesus removes his outer garment, and wraps himself with a towel (that is the word here), and kneels to wash the disciples’ feet. And of course Peter being Peter throws a fit about this, and insists that Jesus shouldn’t be washing his feet, because He doesn’t understand Jesus’ example of humility. But Jesus says, “If I then, your Lord and teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do just as I have done to you.” (John 13:14-15)
We are to clothe ourselves with humility. We aren’t told to just “be humble”. We’re told to act humbly. We’re told to be humble by the way that we live. Which means that if someone does something to irritate or frustrate me, though I might be jumping up and down inside, I choose to put on humility and respond in kindness.
For, the reason here for this is HUGE. If we could only grasp this one thing I think our lives would change. God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.
This same quote is used in James 4:6 hopefully you read that passage in your homework, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
If we are acting in pride, God is against us! Can you imagine having the God of the universe, personally set against us. Talk about motivation for humility! Scripture says if God is for us who can be against us? Romans 8:31. The only person who matters is God. All we need to be concerned with is our relationship with God. And the character quality that is required in order to receive God’s divine favor and grace, is humility. I need grace! Oh how I want more grace. It is by grace we saved, by grave live, by grace we grow and respond to God. Grace is all we need. And we receive it through humility, God says.
Therefore, He says, V. 6 “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that at the proper time He may exalt you”
This is talking about our humility in the midst of suffering. Under the mighty hand of God, which can he His discipline, His allowing of trials, His allowing of suffering, we are humble ourselves under that hand. In the James 4 quote of this, he follows immediately with, “Submit yourselves, therefore to God.”
This is how we humble ourselves, recognizing, “God you are in control of all things, and You know what is best for me, more than I know what is best for me, so I humble myself under your hand in this trial, in this suffering, confident that at the proper time YOU will exalt me. I wish the proper time were now, Lord, but I don’t have to exalt myself because I trust Your word that You know the “proper time”. I will therefore submit myself to you.”
James 4 continues to echo this in verse 10: Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you. That is our promise. At the proper time, God will exalt us.
But the key question is, how do we humble ourselves before God? The 2nd thing I said at the beginning was that humility is demonstrating through casting cares. We learned in our homework that verses 6-7 are one complete sentence,
v. 7 “Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” That is a beautiful sentence. Look at it together, Humble yourself, casting… This is like saying, “Cross the road safely, looking both ways. Drive home safely, obeying the speed limit.” Do this, in this way. Humble yourself, casting your anxieties on Him. This is how we demonstrate our humility.
You know what I love about this verse? What does it assume? That there are anxieties. He doesn’t say, humble yourself by eliminating all your anxieties. God knows we have anxieties, and He knows that we are powerless to make them disappear. No amount of self-talk will make them disappear. (Dutch’s self-talk) They must be given over, cast onto Him.
This is the outworking of humility in the life of the believer. Pride is self-sufficiency. Jesus explains this in Matthew 6, right? “Who of you by being anxious can add a single hour to the span of his life?” He’s saying there that worry or anxiety is at its essence or root our belief that we control our life, that we ultimately are in the driver seat. Which is pride. Anxiety is essentially pride. Humility says, “I am anxious over many things, but I know a God who is in control of all things, and so I surrender all my anxiety to Him because He is the only one able to take care of me.” It demonstrates faith—I believe He cares for me and I believe He can take care of me. He believe in His power and I believe in His goodness. By casting my cares onto Him I am affirming who God is and placing my trust firmly in Him. It is the supreme act of humility to trust in One other than yourself.
One great thing is also that sometimes the act of casting our cares gives us the perspective of realizing the cares we had were those of pride in the first place. How often my anxiety is over someone slighting me or mistreating me, or worrying about what someone will think of me. Since all of that is pride anyway, by casting it all on God we see things in light of who He is, which makes much of our anxiety melt away.
But there are true cares and concerns, when we are truly suffering. Sometimes your anxieties are very legitimate. Sometimes our suffering is very real, and our concerns selfless and legitimate. So please don’t miss this truth: He cares for you. He cares for you. He cares for you. For some today that is all you need to take away from this message. He cares for you. He is not only all powerful and all good, but He is intimately aware of the details of our lives. Isn’t that the message of Matthew 6? He clothes us, feeds, us, provides for us in every way. Because He cares for us.
And on the heels of this promise that He cares for us, we are reminded that we have an adversary in this world.
V. 8 “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”
We’re reminded of chapter 1:13, be sober-minded. In our time away from home, we must not forget that we have a very real enemy. Scripture is very clear that Satan is real, and this word used here, the devil, literally means The Accuser.
I don’t like giving the devil more attention than he deserves. We’re told to overcome evil with good, meaning we don’t need to study Satan or become overly focused on him. But scripture also says we are not to be outwitted by him or ignorant or his schemes (2 Corinthians 2:10-11). We need to know he’s there and know how to fight.
So how are we to fight? It’s linked, surprisingly, to humility, and linked to the verse we just studied about submitting to God and casting our cares on Him. Our James 4 passage, interestingly enough, also links these two things—the humility of submitting to God and our resistance to the devil. He says,
“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” James 4:7
moving on in verse 8 we read this same thing, “Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.”
How are we called to fight Satan? With humility, standing firm. That’s our third point. That sounds strange, doesn’t it? Fighting by humility? Shouldn’t we be bold, fearless, running out to battle with authority and confidence?! Yes and no.
So far we’ve seen we are to Resist, firm in faith. James says Resist, and he will flee.
Let’s look at Ephesians 6, the spiritual warfare passage. Paul says v. 10 to be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might, (so yes we are to be strong, confident, bold.) Then, verse 11, Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. Verse 13, “Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand (or “stand your ground”), in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand, therefore…”
So how do we fight against the devil in this world? With humility, standing firm. We don’t go running after him, shouting and cursing and yelling at him. We stand. We know that God fights our battles. In humility we submit to Him, we trust in Him, we cast our cares upon Him, and we refuse to give the devil a foothold in our lives. We refuse to sin. We refuse to blame others for our suffering. We refuse to complain, grumble, shake a fist at God. We stand firm in our faith. That is battle.
And also in humility, we recognize that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by our brotherhood through the world. Remember last week we read not to think something strange or unusual is happening to you when you suffer V. 12. I love how Heather talked about Voice of the Martyrs and the persecuted church. Pride manifests itself by thinking that we alone are suffering. Pride says, “poor me, I’m the only one.” Humility says, my suffering is nothing spectacular. Everyone suffers. My brothers, all of believers, suffer all over the world. Ultimately humility says, I have suffered nothing, the way we read of the president of VOM last week who said it was a privilege to suffer for Christ. I’m not saying we deny when we are suffering, but we ultimately recognize, we are just one of many all over the world, and we are fortunate enough to be counted in the bunch.
We resist the devil, in our time in this world, by simply Standing Firm. Resolute. Unmoved, knowing all who follow Christ will suffer, not surprised or thinking it’s strange. We stand firm.
And then the promise, V. 10 “And after you have suffered a little while (remember we read this same phrase in chapter 1, we are grieved for a “little while” by various trials”), the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To Him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.”
Remember, Jesus is coming back! Remember our trials are working for us an eternal weight of glory that cannot be compared with this present suffering. He will restore, confirm, strengthen, establish. He has a glorious inheritance waiting for us that we cannot even imagine. And Peter closes, vv12-14
By Silvanus (or Silus), a faithful brother as I regard him, I have written briefly to you, (for what purpose?) exhorting and declaring that this is the true grace of God. Stand firm in it. (there’s our purpose again, Stand firm.). She who is at Babylon, who is likewise chosen, sends you greeting, and so does Mark, my son. Greet one another with the kiss of love. Peace to all of you who are in Christ.
This is the grace of God, given to the humble. Stand firm in it, Peter says. Refuse pride, refuse the enemy, refuse to be moved. Stand firm in God’s grace, in our time away from Home, and watch as He works mightily through our lives for His glory.
Peter closes by telling the recipients to greet one another with a kiss of love. We don’t do that in our culture, but it was a way for them to acknowledge their love and connection to one another. In other words, we’re in this together. Would you turn to each other and say, “Were in this together.” An equivalent for us, which I’d like for us to do now, is to join hands. Because God is sending us out into the world. We are away from home, fellow travelers, pilgrims, sojourners, on mission to glorify Him with all that we say and do. Amen? Let’s pray together.
New Year's Resolution: The 1950s Housewife
In our marriage, and probably in every marriage, it seems that we cruise a while, then need a course-correction, cruise a while, then course-correction. The course-correction (aka conflict), usually occurs when we’re tired, in transition, stressed, etc. But usually it has a great outcome–it brings issues to a head and causes us to talk through, pray, brainstorm, and be more intentional in our relationship.
Jeff and I have recently had a course correction, and so we’ve related it to our New Year’s Resolutions. Actually, my resolutions aren’t things he’s asked me to do, just this sort of idea that’s been brewing in my brain for a while now.
New Year’s Resolution: I think this is the year I am finally going to acknowledge that I am a wife and stay-at-home mom. Wow, aren’t you impressed by my ambition? Last year my new year’s resolution was to write a book. This year? Acknowledge I’m a wife and stay-at-home mom. So what do I mean by this?
Not to beat a dead horse, but again–our life has been transition up until this point. Truthfully (and this is probably because of pride), I always identified with the seminary/ministry stuff of our life a lot more than the wife/mother stuff of our life. Because of that–often my husband, children, and even house…can get leftovers. I think in fact I probably was even prideful about the fact that I was too busy in seminary & ministry things to spend much time in domestic matters. I’m sure I’ve looked down my nose at moms who busy themselves with reading parenting magazines, clipping coupons (I’ve eaten my words there!), obsessing over cloth or disposable diapers. The result: We rarely sit down as a family and eat dinner together, my son often goes to bed without brushing his teeth, the house is usually a mess when Jeff gets home from work, I haven’t read the parenting books I’ve always said I would, and I haven’t been intentional about teaching Dutch the scriptures or a whole host of other things. Oh, and I hardly ever make the bed. Now, I’m not talking about mommy-guilt or trying to be the perfect wife, blah blah blah. I’m just talking about finally embracing that this season is primarily about being a wife and a mom. And, I’ve been finding the last few days of embracing this that I am WAY happier when things at home are first taken care of. Ya’ll are laughing right now because you’ve known this truth for years.
So what does this have to do with a 1950s housewife? Well I remember this hilarious article Jeff found a few years ago, that was actually published in 1955, called The Good Wife’s Guide. Of course some of it was horrific, including advice to never question if your husband returns home late or stays out all night (!). Some obvious issues there. However, I think maybe there’s something in there, under the ridiculousness of offering to take off his shoes, that’s just right for me. Right now. If I want my husband to be a prince, maybe I ought to treat him like one. If I want him to be the spiritual leader maybe I ought to let him be. If I want our home to be a beautiful haven, maybe I ought to take care of it like it is. If I want my children to grow up to be strong trees, maybe I ought to water them. Just an idea. So this last week “50s housewife” has been my secret motto, just as a reminder that little things like keeping up the house, praying together in the morning, and sitting down to dinner actually do make me a WAY happier lady.
So some of the recent changes (& Resolutions):
1. Taking my kids grocery shopping with me. Now I won’t do this all the time, but I realized I was doing them a disservice by not training them to behave in the grocery store. I can’t just not take them into public and then get all bent out of shape when I finally do and they misbehave. They need some practice. What better place than a grocery store–everyone expects kids to misbehave there. So, today we did it–in fact I was Domestic Diva, because we did Coupon Extravaganza at Safeway ($127 of food for $51), which had some near-disasters but we survived, then a trip to Rite-Aid where I had to leave the store temporarily to discipline Dutch and the security man followed me out to my car and accused me of shoplifting! Ha! Yeah, that was a highlight, I’ve never been accused of that before (I had tucked my coupon into my pocket and so he was suspicious–that’s fair. He was nice about it.) Anyway, we did it!
2. Eating dinner together. Jeff can be squirrely when it comes to his arrival time, so sometimes this is tricky. But he’s making an effort too! Two nights in a row so far and I’m loving it. Dutch even set the table tonight on his own and Heidi contributed by throwing Cheerios all over the floor.
3. Making the bed. Ok how pathetic is it that this is a New Year’s Resolution? Laugh if you want.
4. Have the house straightened up and looking nice when Jeff gets home. Greet him at the door with a hug and kiss (instead of a grunt and a glance at the clock) :).
5. Praying together every morning. This is what we always used to do and I miss it so much. We’re finally back at it, after giving Jeff strict instructions that even if I whimpered and begged to sleep five more minutes, to pull back the covers, slide his arms under me, and carry me down the stairs if that’s what it took (and it did). I’m floored at the difference.
6. Have a plan every day. Not that every day has to be an amazing field trip, but I want to have a plan for something fun or educational or just an experience, each and every day. Monday was the library, then watching excavators. Tuesday was a visiting to my grandma. Today was groceries. Tomorrow, a long walk and “fishing”. My goal is just have one thing on the docket–even if it’s just coloring a picture or baking cookies or learning a new song. One thing for us to “do” each day.
What a funny contrast to my previous year’s resolutions. Of course I’ll keep reading through the Word each year, keep up with Bible study and teaching, do women’s ministry, keep writing, read books that make me think. But, this year, 2010 is the year of the 50s housewife. I like it. Maybe I’ll even wear an apron over my skinny jeans. I could get into this.
Just saying hi.
Right now, I’m cuddled up under a quilt (thank you Momma!), next to my sweet husband. I’m wearing my biggest, comfiest sweats, and I have that fuzzy-headed feeling from just waking up from a nap. Yes, that’s right–a nap! That’s unheard of. Sheer exhaustion drove me to snuggle down this Sunday afternoon and drift off. It was heavenly.
We had a FULL and wonderful holiday week. Dutch turned three, had two parties, lots of visitors and gifts (read: our house is overrun with toys and I have no idea how to tame the monster). We had some big ministry situations. All our families came to our house for Christmas, which was a dream for us. We did Christmas Eve service, then a big day on Christmas, then Jeff got sick but was scheduled to preach all three services this weekend. So he did, of course. He did great, but the confession is when Jeff preaches I am a nervous wreck. I love hearing from him, but I have yet to develop the alligator-hide skin that is necessary when in ministry, so sometimes I struggle with processing the abundance of feedback that one receives. There were also a couple other relational needs throughout the week, which is awesome, but left me, by today, feeling like if I didn’t lie down I would collapse into a heap. So I napped, and O thank You Jesus that You give your beloved sleep (Psalm 127:2). I now have warm-fuzzies, am snuggly warm in my sweats, and am happy again!
So I’ve been remiss in that I’ve not given a CCE update like I said I would. Jeff made me promise that I would not turn this blog into a coupon-cutting site, so I promised him I won’t start making every post about my “deals”, but I do enjoy passing on what I’m learning in all areas, even hair-highlighting.
One cool thing is that I did my first ever try at getting free stuff at the grocery store and it was actually a great success. I went to Safeway and Albertsons, armed with my coupons, and got: 10 lbs. of potatoes, 4 boxes of Corn flakes, 3 boxes of Raisin Bran, four cans of corn, 4 packages of shredded cheese–all for $5. So that’s kind of cool. And we’re the kind of family that on a busy day is happy to eat cereal for dinner, so 7 extra boxes is actually perfect for us.
Secondly, the hair. Well that’s part of the reason I needed a nap today. My hair stinkin’ wore me out this week. 🙂 My friend did mine on Sunday and it was fine. It looked natural, and I was happy. The problem came when, later in the week, I decided that you couldn’t really tell it was highlighted, it was so near my natural color, so I decided (start cringing now), that 2 hours before the Christmas Eve service, while my children were in the bathtub (I was right next to them I promise), that I would just “touch up” my own a little bit, add a few more highlights. You know, spice it up a bit. Oh dear. It was a disaster. It was so blotchy, uneven, and the color was a brassy awful color. Of course I was home alone, couldn’t leave the kids, and had to be at church in an hour, so I had no choice but to swallow my pride, get creative with how I fixed my hair (bobby pinning pieces in place to cover the blotches) and go to church. Right as I finally got composed and resolved not to cry, I went to get Dutch up (minutes before we had to be out the door), and he had taken off his diaper and diarrhea pooped all over the carpet. Yes. That’s when the tears came. Of course it all worked out, no one was injured, and thankfully church was a candlelit service. That night I ran to rite-aid (with my coupons!), and bought a dark blond color that matched my natural color, at the root, and dyed my whole head a dark color to at least just cover up all the awfulness. That was fine, then Christmas night, Jeff did the little cap-and-hook highlight thing for me and it turned out just fine. So now I am happy, my hair looks fine, and it still only cost an extra $15 for the mistake. I think I’ll stick with it and learn how to do it better each time.
I guess I’m only sharing that because what this whole CCE thing is showing me is that it’s ok that I’m not going to get it perfect the first time. I don’t have to “get” all the deals just right. I’m going to learn as I go. I’m really really bad at highlighting my own hair so I shouldn’t try. I’m learning, you know? And because I’m not very good at trying new things, it’s good for me to try things. Just like my sweater-collage concoction. The more I look at it the more I realize how it looks like a preschooler sewed it together. But how can I get better unless I try? I’m learning.
So it was a fabulous, exhausting week. The kids are up now and break time is over. Thanks for adventuring with me on this little journey. And don’t forget to nap!
CCE Update: A New Look & a BIG save!
Well I woke up to a fun surprise this morning. Jeff greeted me with a smile and said, “I made you a Christmas present! Go look at your computer!” And look I did and found this fine looking new look for my blog! I’d been wanting to update it for awhile, but of course I haven’t a clue how to do anything, so he surprised me and began working on it for my Christmas present. It’s still under construction, because he’s still tweaking and making changes, but we’re brightening things up a bit, letting go of the “no-picture” rule (and yes, Jen I will post a pic of the mantel!), and finally easing the strain on your poor eyes by doing a white background (we heard your complaints!) 🙂 In all his work and tweaking he made an interesting observation. ALL my recent posts have ended with ellipses. Guilty. It is true I am a gross abuser of that treasured grammatical tool that allows me to end without having a good ending. Sad.
But on a brighter note, the CCE Update is that I LOVE the cash envelope system. I am totally humbled and repentant of my resistance to using it. Yes, it has drawbacks, but it’s so fun it’s almost like a game. And I love that I don’t have to keep track of my checkbook register all the time and balance and blah blah blah. It’s all right there in the envelopes!
And in terms of saving, I think this latest thing is a jackpot. So I’d mentioned the wild and crazy idea of highlighting my own hair. Well, I’m telling you this is such a fun adventure. After posting that, I got a lot of advice/ideas and one friend who offered to do it with me, share the hair coloring stuff, and help do each other’s. Deal! Then, another friend generously gave me her Sally’s Beauty Supply membership card (=discount), AND a coupon for the store. Then, we hosted a College & Career game night on Friday night and I noticed one of the girls had freshly highlighted (and beautiful) hair. She mentioned that her mom did it and bought the stuff at Sally’s! So she texted me the info of exactly what to buy. So I went there today and there was a sale, plus my discount, plus my coupon, and get this: I got all the stuff I need to do my own hair for THREE YEARS (maybe have to get a little bit more powder, but close), for $21! My cash budget was $20, so I had to steal a dollar from my grocery envelope, but I think that’s allowable. Now I hate to even admit this, but I have to for the sake of comparison. The place I recently started going to for hair, here in West Linn, was$75, plus tip= $90/visit. Yikes! So I would probably go there 3-4 times a year, let’s say 4 just so the numbers can be really shocking :). That’s a total save, over 3 years of $1,060! That’s a LOT. That’s a Jesus-Well built in Asia for people to have clean drinking water. That kind of puts things in perspective, huh?
Now I know what you’re thinking, “You haven’t actually done your hair yet, so how do you know that it’s all going to work out??” Ok I don’t. But the highlighting party is tomorrow night at 7pm, so I’ll let you know how it goes.
Thanks for tagging along on this little CCE adventure! Even though I don’t have a cool way to end this post I will not use ellipses!