Category Archives: Sacred Mundane

He doesn’t need socks (though you might think he does).

He doesn’t need Call of Duty Black Ops 2 (though he might think he does).

He doesn’t need more power tools, gadgets, or even a new iphone case.

He needs praise.

Gary Chapman, author of the legendary Five Love Languages,says that the single best way to directly influence your husband and help him grow, flourish, and succeed, is to praise him.  Chapman says,

Men respond positively to praise. One of the most common complaints men make in my office is: “Dr. Chapman, in my work I am respected.  People come to me for advice.  But at home, all I get is criticism.”  What she considers suggestions, he reads as criticism.  Her efforts to stimulate growth have backfired.

Give him praise.  The fastest way to influence a husband is to give him praise.  Praise him for effort, not perfection.  You may be asking, But if I praise him for mediocrity, will it not stifle growth?  The answer is a resounding “No”.  Your praise urges him on to greater accomplishments.

My challenge is to look for things your husband is doing right and praise him.  Praise him in private, praise him in front of the children, praise him in front of your parents and his parents, praise him in front of his peers.  Then stand back and watch him go for the gold.

So no matter what your holiday budget is, consider one extravagant gift you can give your husband (or anyone you love), but you need to start today:

A Thousand Things I Love About You

We all know how to do it right? The 1,000 gifts. We jot down our lists each day, every day, knowing it’s the key to health, happiness, and a renewed heart for God.

Can you imagine what it would mean to your man if, on Christmas morning, you presented him with a THOUSAND things you love about him? Sound impossible?

Just 25 per day from now through Christmas Eve. 

I just started a few days ago. Each morning, during your quiet time, jot down 25 things you love about your man. Character things, one-time actions, silly things, anything.  Do it everyday for the next 40 days and on Christmas Eve you will have your list.

And he will have his dream-come-true. (Especially if you read it to him out loud, wearing *ahem* something special.)

Now, not only will you have the joy of giving this gift, I guarantee you will receive the gift of receiving a new set of eyes for your husband. A renewed appreciation, respect, love.

As you write your list, your heart will change.

As he reads it, his will too.

{Do you have ideas for extravagant no-cost gifts for special loved ones? I’d love to hear your ideas so we can all get started soon! Thanks for reading… and DON’T let Jeff see this post!!!}

My mind swam and the tears I held back stung my eyes. Why this struggle? Why am I facing all these fears and feel like my heart is tossed in a storm?Knowing the safest place to go, I left the kids eating their dinner, crept to my dark room, and bowed low.

On our face is the only place from which we can never fall. And however you want to credit it, as clear as a voice one word filled the room.

“Lose.”

The tears fell now, now happy, now release. Of course. The ball inside instantly unwound. Now there was peace. The storm was stilled.One word from Him does just that.

Of course. The call to discipleship can be summed up in just one word.

Lose.

The call to joy, the call to peace, the call to hope and everlasting life. Of course, hadn’t Christ already said it and continues to say it today?!

Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matt. 10:39)

Whoever loses his life, will find life. The way to be rich is to give. The way to glory is humility. The way to be exalted is to bend low. And we cannot trick God or short-cut His process. Pretending to lose our life won’t yield the rich results.

Only when we actually lose will we actually find.

The finding is only real if the losing is as well. 

How, then do we lose? In every situation Christ can translate that one word into the perfect application. He can show you exactly what it means to lose and find true life. Perhaps,

• Choose to lose the competition.
• Choose to lose money.
• Choose to lose comfort.
• Choose to lose control of others.
• Choose to lose entitlement.
• Choose to lose the argument.
• Choose to lose the American Dream.

It is real. The life we find when the loss is real. Yes, there are eternal rewards in heaven, but there are indescribable benefits right here too. Why?

Because losing is freeing.  

Because losing is finding.

Because losing is winning the greatest victory of all.

Is this for you today? It speaks to me this time, just as it did the first time.  And cnce again, I believe, someone needs this word of hope today. If your heart is wound up inside and tossed in a storm. Perhaps this is the word you need to hear? I never thought I’d find such hope and joy from just one word, I pray the same for you today. {Thanks for reading.} 

Remembering Heidi’s dropped s’s and this lesson I need again this week! Enjoy.

The LORD will perfect that which concerns me: your mercy, O LORD, endures forever: forsake not the works of your own hands. (Ps. 138:8)

The mind-battle-lie I fight daily:

Why are we the only family that struggles with this? 

The “this” changes with the weather. “This” can be eating-their-vegetables, picking-up-after-themselves, waiting-for-dinner-without-whining, going-to-Sunday-school-without-a-panic-attack. There’s no end to the variety of shortcomings we face each day and all too often that’s all that I can see. 

All I see are all the things that aren’t there. The missing things. The vacuum of what’s missing is visible.

Kind of like the “S” in Heidi’s words. 

You see, my sweet Heidi-girl cannot do an s-blend to save her life. The “s” sound alone is fine, but blended with another consonant and the “s” never fails to fall.

The result is the cutest thing in all the world.

“Mommy, may I please have a ‘nack?” You better believe I’m fixin’ up something good. I love me a good ‘nack.

Then of course as she climbs up on her chair at the table: “Mommy, please ‘coot me in.” I ‘coot her in and nibble a few kisses near the edge of her mouth, inhale her apple-breath and say I’m going to eat her for a ‘nack! She turns hungrily to her bowl of applesauce and asks nicely for a ‘poon. I melt.

My favorite perhaps is reading the book about ‘piders. She thinks ‘piders are a little ‘cary, but still loves to read about them. Almost as much as she loves to count all eleven ‘tars in the ‘ky in her Dora book. Today on our nature walk she asks me to find her a ‘pecial ‘tick. And of course she also asks for help up the ‘tairs and asks to not have a ‘pank when she’s naughty.

Does it bother me one bit that the “s” fails to show?  Not a bit. Do I worry and fret about her future, plagued by fear for her SAT scores? Not at all. I think her missing s‘s are adorable, age-appropriate, and endearing.

I’m not bothered at all by what’s not there.

Every illustration breaks down, but don’t you think our Heavenly Father feels the same? Yes, the Patterson children haven’t arrived. And to no one’s surprise the Patterson mother hasn’t either. We’re in progress. Not slacking, not celebrating mediocrity, but still learning our letters.  I’m just so stinkin’ blessed by Heidi practicing her words, by Heidi continuing to grow …

By not letting her ‘lipped s’s ‘low her down. 

I know when I teach I say things wrong. I write things wrong. I do things wrong. There are more things “undone” every day than done. But I think the missing letters are endearing to our God as long as we don’t let them get us down.  You think? Of course it’s always pride that presses us into perfectionism. Humility isn’t surprised by dropped s’s … but also believes that God is great enough that in His timing He’ll perfect that which concerns us (Psalm 138:8).

God will bring back every dropped “s” in our lives. He will never forsake the work of His hands — that’s us. His mercy endures forever.

For all the things we inevitably drop, there’s grace.

{How does this bring rest to your soul today? Thanks, friends, for reading.}

I stand at the stove, smashing the toasted cheese sandwich with the flat of a metal spatula. It sizzles as I push it down, cheese melting, oozing out into the pan. Jeff is talking in a low voice. I slice apples in silence. We’re both discouraged.

This church thing—it’s hard. This parenting thing—it’s hard. This finance thing, this marriage thing, this faith thing, this life thing—it’s hard.

We both shake our heads. Why did God entrust us with so many things when we’re so pathetically ill-prepared? Why did He think we could handle all this?

Heidi patters into the kitchen, smiling. She can smell the toasted cheese and is ready for lunch. She wears a ratty yellow Hello Kitty t-shirt pulled over the top of a red velvet Christmas dress. Her hair is a wild tangle. I can’t help but gather her up in my arms and kiss her smiling mouth just to inhale her ridiculous sweetness.

“Here, Heidi,” I say as I set her back down, “You carry your lunch plate to the table.” She raises her arms enthusiastically, eager to help. As I lower the plate into her hands, I already know what will happen.

And it does.

She turns quickly—as children do, with no concept of centrifugal force—and the sandwiches and apple slices slide right off and onto the floor.

Her shoulders slump.

Of course I kneel down, right beside her, and together we pick up the slices and sandwich together. And while we’re both down there I kiss her again, assure her it’s ok, and tell her to run along and enjoy her lunch.

No harm done.

Seconds later Dutch runs in, asks for his, and I lower his plate into his outstretched arms. Of course he’s older, and just a little wiser (barely), so he slowly turns and walks carefully to the table, lunch intact.

I turn to Jeff. He smiles back. We’re both thinking the same thing.

God’s so gracious. He entrusts us with the plate, even though He knows we will let the whole lunch slide out onto the floor. And then He’ll stoop down low, right beside us, and help us pick it up. He’ll kiss us in the process, assure us it’s ok, then send us off to keep learning, growing. And when we’re just a little wiser (barely), down the road, we’ll know how to navigate the turns just a little bit better.

At least a little less of our lunch will wind up on the floor.

~

 {May this perspective rule our minds this week. Thanks for reading.} 

• Running through leaves, freshly-fallen, crunching underfoot. Had to stop and kick some around–and smile–just because I could.
• Hot shower.
• Fire crackling.
• A broken washing machine. My steady man working hard to find… someone’s underpants clogged the tube! The project/frustration of the day turns into the laugh of the day.
• Relaxed, refreshing, renewing dinner with friends.
• Debra’s smile, grace, presence.
• The feeling of clean.
• Fly Lady.
• Trusting Him each step.
• Knowing there’ll be enough.
• Looking ahead to holidays!
• Pumpkin. Anything with pumpkin.
• Roasting veggies.
• The best broccoli of your life. 
• Joanna.
• New vision.
• Encouragement.
• That rough drafts aren’t a waste.
• The sketch of the day.
• Renewed strength.
• A long run in the cold, November sunshine.
• Family day.
• Popcorn.
• Candyland.
• Kimasia’s crazy-yummy cooking.
• Peace. 

Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

(Gal. 5:25)

How many times have we been asked to do this exercise? List out your priorities as you want them to be … Of course we’re supposed to put God first, then family second, or wait, maybe we’re supposed to put ourselves first, but then what about our spouse, and then work is a must so where does that fit in? I’ll tell you what:

No matter how many times I’ve listed out my priorities it’s never revolutionized my life. 

Here’s what’s revolutionized my life:

Understanding that it’s not knowing my primary priority that matters but knowing my primary identity. 

We do what we do because we are who we are. 

I love how the NIV translates Galatians 5:25 (above). Essentially Paul is saying, “Because youlive by the Spirit, have been made alive by the Spirit, because your identity is a Spirit-birthed individual, live like one! Keep in step with the one who gives you life and you will have life.” 

Who are we? Are we primarily Americans? Republicans? Democrats? Wives? Teachers? SAHMs? We are children of the Most High God, chosen and redeemed, set free from sin and alive to God, called according to His purpose that we would walk in good works every single day of our lives, bringing Him glory, delighting in His goodness, displaying His power to a lost world hungering for hope.  We’re servants, we’re worshipers, we’re family, we’re learners, we’re missionaries. We are, first and foremost, disciples of Jesus Christ. 

What if I look at my to-do list with that in mind? Keeping in mind that everything that I do I do as a disciple of Jesus Christ, called to fulfill His great commission and be His ambassador here on earth?

No where in Scripture are we called to find balance. Our notion of “finding balance” is cultural. Christ calls us to take our whole life — work, play, service, both sacred and secular — and drench it in the water of His Spirit so that as we move about this world we’re soaking wet, dripping all over the world, spreading the gospel not because we’re handing out tracts but because we’re handing out hope. We’re kind, patient, loving, gentle … our life displays the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-24).

What is our identity? Are we citizens of earth or citizens of heaven? Our identity determines how we live. We can walk in step with the world, running to keep up with the passing pleasures of each new year, or we can walk in step with the spirit, knowing that in His presence is fullness of joy.

{Wrestling through these thoughts from last year, again. Today, consider how your primary identity shapes all you will do this day. Thanks for thinking on this, and for reading.}

“Women are not the problem; they are the solution.”

 –Half the Sky

Around our Missional Mom circle this past week, human trafficking and the sex industry was the topic of the day. It seems it is the topic of every day these days.

And should be.  That $57 BILLION dollars are spent every single year on the sex industry should bring the issue front and center.

We obviously have plenty of time and money to spend on women and girls.

And yet, women continue to be the most neglected, mistreated, and overlooked sector of our society. “The equivalent of five jumbo jets’ worth of women die in labor each day, but the issue is almost never covered,” observes Nicholas Kristof in Half the Sky. He continues, ““More girls were killed in the last 50 years, precisely because they were girls, than men killed in all the wars in the 20th century. More girls are killed in this routine gendercide in any one decade than people were slaughtered in all the genocides of the 20th century.”

Gospel for Asia recently began a campaign to raise up, train, and support national female missionaries, to reach out to the most-unreached portion of Asia’s population: women.

Women in Asia are the most likely to be victims of sex-trafficking and least likely to hear the gospel of Jesus Christ.  50,000 female children are aborted every single month in South Asia. Females are the last to eat and the most likely to be illiterate. These women are among the poorest or the poor, living in most unreached parts of the world—”places that have yet to hear the Gospel. And many women cannot be approached by missionary men due to cultural customs, making their slim chance of hearing the Gospel even slimmer” (GFA). Illiterate, with no access to the gospel, unable to rise from their place of absolute poverty, likely to be sold into the sex-trade industry.

Wow. Sounds like women are a problem, right? 

 Actually, they’re the solution.

The exciting part is that now, more than ever, we’re seeing a movement of women helping women. Rather than being swallowed whole by this issue, they are overcoming evil with good. The powerful documentary, Volviendo, tells the stories of sex-trafficking survivors being rescued, healed, restored to wholeness, then returning to the streets in order to reach out and rescue more women. (If you live in the NW, consider contacting the film-makers for a free screening of the movie, and chance to hear them personally share about their experience, findings, and opportunities to join the cause.) 

Gospel for Asia is investing in women missionaries in an exciting and effective strategy to reach these especially vulnerable women in Asia. Native female missionaries have many advantages over US missionaries, or even male native missionaries:

• She moves freely in areas restricted to outsiders or men and is accepted in good times and bad.
• She knows the cultural taboos instinctively.
• She has already mastered the language or a related dialect.
• She lives among the community, eating the same food, wearing the same clothes, and sharing the same cultural interests.
• She has a passion and burden to reach women in Asia. (From GFA)

One of the most common sentiments I hear from women (and men) is, “What can I do to help, from right where I am?” It’s hard to imagine making much of a difference in a situation halfway across the world. But there is one easy way:

Support a native female missionary. 

Check out GFA’s information on female missionaries. For only $30/month (less than an iphone data plan!) you can support one of these women who have a unique advantage in overcoming evil with good. They can do what we can’t do.

I read this in my quiet time this morning. Applicable, I believe. 

“Then I turned my face to the Lord God, seeking Him by prayer and pleas for mercy with fasting and sackcloth and ashes. I prayed to the Lord my God and made confession saying, ‘O Lord, the great and awesome God, who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love Him and keep His commandments, we have sinned and done wrong and acted wickedly and rebelled, turning aside from your commandments and rules. We have not listened to your servants the prophets, who spoke in your name to our kings, our princes, and our fathers, and to all the people of the land. To you, O Lord, belongs righteousness, but to us open shame … To us, O Lord, belongs open shame, to our kings, to our princes, and to our fathers, because we have sinned against you. To the Lord our God belong mercy and forgiveness, for we have rebelled against Him and have not obeyed the voice of the Lord our God by walking in His laws … Oh my God, incline your ear and hear … for we do not present our pleas before you because of our righteousness, but because of your great mercy. O Lord, hear; O Lord, forgive. O Lord, pay attention and act. Delay not, for your own sake, O my God.'” Daniel 9:3-19

 May our eyes be on the true King, and His Kingdom, this day and every day, as we humble ourselves and confess the sins of ourselves, our churches, our cities, our country.   And no matter what the outcome of this day,

“Let us be grateful for receiving a Kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire.” Hebrews 12:28

 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart He will not despise (Ps. 51:17).

Let’s humble ourselves this day and commit together to pray for God to be worshipped and glorified in our lives, our homes, our churches, our cities, our country. Thanks for reading.

Revisiting this as we drive away from Arizona today. Oh how God has healed and restored! Praise Him–I pray these words can be balm to your soul…

~

I always thought the worst thing was not getting chosen. Being overlooked, left out, not being picked for the team or the party or the date.

Do you remember that happening and how bad it felt? Realizing that someonepurposefully didn’t choose you, that in someone’s mind they would be better off without you even being there. I remember getting stung a couple times and rubbing the spot for quite awhile.

But it turns out there’s something much worse: Getting chosen and then it becoming glaringly obvious that you were not as expected. That you are a disappointment. That perhaps you’re kept because of mercy, pity, or dutiful obligation, but the unspoken truth is that if the whole thing was done over, they wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. You’d be out.

Perhaps you were chosen for the team but reality is you’ve never seen a minute in a game. Or, like poor Skeeter from The Help, you’re set up on a date and upon arrival Mr. Wonderful’s face is painfully clear: You’re not quite what he’d hoped for.

That is, perhaps you were chosen, but had they really known you you’d never have been chosen after all. 

Yup, this takes the cake.

This goes far beyond the surface scratch of being merely overlooked. One can easily explain that away. Perhaps they don’t know your hidden talent, or you were having a bad day, or maybe your beauty isn’t outward but if they knew your amazing personality things would be different. Being initially un-chosen is rejection at arm’s length. Not big deal.

But the second kind is another beast altogether. That is, rejection at our core. That is, rejectedfor who we really are. After we’ve been known. After we’ve been proven. After we’d washed off our makeup and slipped off our clothes, so to speak. Rejection that whispers, “Had I known, I never would have chosen …”

Do we wonder why divorce is so diabolical? 

To be known and then rejected is eternally worse than never being chosen in the first place.

Why the dark thoughts, you ask?

This darkness (That yes, I have felt in my brief 32 years), this sting, this ache that strips us bare and leaves us raw and oozing pain, it helps us see the glory of the gospel.

The ravaging love that revolutionizes our souls. 

Yes, it arrests our hearts to realize that “In Him, we were also chosen” (Eph. 1:11). We ARE chosen, picked, singled out, by the love of God in Christ. But this! But this is what should bring us to our knees in thanks and stand us on our feet in confidence:

“For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them…” Rom. 8:29

Known and chosen. Chosen and known. We have been chosen by God even though He knew everything we would ever do.  He knew what was under the clothes, the makeup, the masks. He knew the blunders we’d make and the limits we have.

He knows that really, we’re not that put together. 

He says, “I have known, and I have chosen.”

I don’t know who this is for, but some sister needs to know it today: You are not a disappointment to God. He has never regretted his choice in you. He has never thought, “Had I known…”

You were already known, and chosen.

So you can be free to slip down those layers we clutch fearfully in front, and be bare before Him. He already knows and loves it all. You’re not a disappointment after all. 

Oh amazing grace! {Thanks for reading and have a blessed weekend.}