With. {A simple parenting approach}
We started back to school last week so my days are full of homeschooling and lots of time WITH my kids. I’ll keep blogging as I’m able, but if you ever wonder where I am, now you know. 🙂 I was reminded of this so I thought I’d share again. Enjoy…
~
…and lo, I am with you always…
Matthew 28:18
“Mommy, will you be with me?”
Next to, “Can I have something to eat?” this is the most common request I hear, on a daily basis. Besides food, really all my children want is me.
They don’t care what we do, they just want me.
There are so many parenting philosophies and educational models, and my heart and hope is always to share simple guiding principles without offering a certain prescribed method to follow. In fact, what most powerfully influences my schooling and parenting decisions is one simple word:
With.
Looking back at my own childhood, I see this powerful force at work as well. Sure, my parents weren’t perfect, but what marks my childhood and makes me recall it with pure joy and fondness, what makes it continue to be a source of strength and confidence for my adult-self, is that my parents had an unwavering dedication to be with us.
We did everything together. Yes, my mom homeschooled us, we spent every day together, we cooked together and cleaned together, we played and read and learned and ran errands — with her. But we weren’t isolated from the world. We took trips and did science fairs and field trips, we served people and explored.
With her.
My dad was an NCAA referee for 20 years. We all loaded in the car and traveled to countless college basketball games, sometimes up late and sometimes eating *ahem* fast food for dinner. My mom didn’t stress about bedtimes or burgers — we were together.
Wherever he went, we went with.
As we grew older Dad stepped away from college games so he could ref and coach us instead. My brother and I played 7 sports between us through our high school years and my parents never missed a game.
They were with us.
My aim here is not to guilt y’all who can’t be with your kids every second. I get it. The last thing we need, as mamas, is a guilt trip about not being everywhere at all times.
But sometimes what we need isn’t to do more, it’s to do less, but with them. This can apply to every educational method and model, to every country and culture. 
I see it this way: I get these kids for about 5 minutes, in the grand scheme of things. I’m going to blink and be 50 and they’ll be gone, flying on their own around this world. My time with them is so short. There are a thousand other things I could be doing, but this is one thing no one else can do.
No one else can Mama my kids.
No one else has the fierce love for them like me. No one else can know their hearts like me, can see that look in their eyes and know exactly what it means. No one else can show them the heart of God, can identify their love language, their motives and fears.
A couple years ago, I asked God to give me wisdom to help guide my Sacred Mundane with my kids. The word with came to my heart. Because I’m nerdy and like mnemonic devices, I turned it into an acrostic, to remind me every single day of how to be WITH my kids in intentional ways:
W: Work. How can I work with my kids, giving them skills and training them as we go?
I: Inspire. How can I inspire faith in my children today, teaching them to trust God more?
T: Teach. How can I teach my children the knowledge and wisdom they need to thrive in life?
H: Help. Where are my kids struggling? How can I help them to overcome an area of weakness today?
Isn’t this what Jesus does for us? His name is Immanuel: God with us. Jesus comes and lives among us, rubs shoulders with us, then promises that even after He leaves, He will be with us as we carry out His great commission (Matt. 28:18). He’ll never leave us or forsake us, He’ll be with us forever, even to the end of the age.
WITH is at the heart of the gospel, and I believe it’s at the heart of parenting too. This can look so different for every family–that’s the beauty of it! No one-size-fits-all. No template! No cookie-cutters!
You with your children and God with you.
{Bless you, faithful mamas and daddies, as you do life with your kids today. Thanks for reading.}
*Originally from last fall.
When He’s taking FOREVER to show up…
I shifted positions on the sand, looking over my shoulder again. Where was he?
The tops of my thighs were definitely red--that sad white space above the shorts-line exposed in early summer when we bravely (and a bit reluctantly) don bathing suits. I tried to hold my small paperback strategically to block the sun, glancing back again. Where WAS he?
We were having a fabulous anniversary weekend. The book Touching Godliness had deeply stirred my heart, and I knew the word submit was to be my banner for the next season of life. But, I’d asked God, Submit to what?
In a half-second He spoke to my heart:
- Submit to embracing the role of wife and homeschooling mama.
- Submit to serving the people right in front of you.
- Submit to obedience in the small, silent stuff, where no one sees but God.
- Submit to joyfully serve, honor, and respect Jeff, believing the best about him above all other human relationships.
Oh, that’s all? (ha!) Ok, ok, I get it. I’m taking notes.
And of course, every lecture needs a lab. God’s sanctification school is no different. So I figured this weekend was a good place to start practicing.
So, we were lounging on the sandy beach beside the Deschutes River. It was hot. Really, really hot. Dozens of people were walking by with inner-tubes, putting in to float down the river to the Old Mill district. We thought it’d be fun to do the same, and Jeff knew his mom (in whose house we were staying) had tubes. So he, seeking to bless and serve me, said that he would take all our stuff to the car, leave me to relax on my towel, and he’d drive to her house, grab the tubes, then come back so we could float down river.
Perfect. Even though he’d already run a half-marathon that morning he was still willing to run the errand so I could relax. Good man. So I handed him everything, including my phone.
It was 12:30pm, and she just lived a few miles away so it would be a quick trip.
“If I’m not back in an hour then I’m in wreck somewhere,” he jokingly added as he walked away.
I settled in on my towel, happy to relax. I wasn’t sure how much time went by but it seemed he was gone quite a while. I swam in the river to cool off. Then sat back down, glancing back periodically to see when he’d arrive.
People came. People went. No Jeff. I heard someone say it was 1:30pm as they packed their kids up to go home.
People came. People went. No Jeff. I heard someone hollar, “Hey, it’s 2pm, let’s get home!”
That’s when my thighs started getting red. I shifted on my towel. Adjusted my book to shade different body parts on rotation, pulling corners of the small towel up and around my legs. The family next to me called to their kids, “It’s 2:30, we better get going.”
No Jeff.
I laid down and closed my eyes. Where WAS he?
All of us wives are prone to react in different ways:
::Some assume catastophe: “He must be dead!”
::Some assume irresponsibility: “What is that idiot doing now?”
::But some believe the best: “I bet whatever has happened, he must be doing something awesome on my behalf.”
By the grace of God, on this particular day, I believed the best. Though I couldn’t figure out what on earth would take him so long (and didn’t hear any sirens so I wasn’t concerned about safety), I figured something worthwhile was happening, and asked God to protect me from skin cancer.
So I sat and waited. And waited. And waited. And kept glancing back over my shoulder, looking for a glimpse of inner tubes.
And then, to my everlasting surprise, as I sat gazing out at the river, my eye caught something strange:
What? There’s a man kayaking UPstream, towing a paddleboard behind him! I squinted and looked longer …
It was JEFF!
I stood up, and I must say, it was kind of “scene-from-a-movie-ish.” He was dripping sweat towing this paddle board upstream and I jumped off the beach and ran into the water.
I yelled, “What are you DOING?!” (But I was smiling when I said it.) He told me the story. He thought he’d surprise me with an awesome adventure–bringing a kayak and a paddleboard so we could each paddle our way up and down the river together. He loaded both huge items by himself, but when he arrived back at the beach, there were no parking spaces, and he couldn’t get close enough to leave the car and alert me. So he had to drive all the way to the end of the river run, downstream, haul both the kayak and the paddleboard himself, tie them together, and paddle all the way upstream hauling the paddleboard, in order to rescue me from the beach.
He finished his story, breathless, and handed me a water bottle, “And I made you a limeade slushy to drink.”
I slurped the icy goodness and shook my head, smiling. “You’re amazing. Thank you so much.”
We pushed off from the shore, and paddled up and down the river in the slanting afternoon sun. In the quiet float downstream, I leaned back, reflecting:
When God is taking a long time to “show up” in my life, how do I respond?
::Do I assume catastrophe? God must not here! He must not be real! He must not love me! Everything must be falling apart!
::Do I assume irresponsibility? God must not know what He’s doing. I better take care of things. How dare He treat me like this? Poor me, having to wait all this time while God goofs off.
::Or do I believe best? I have no idea what’s taking so long, but I know the character of my God. I know His Word. And I know that whatever is going on, He must doing something awesome on my behalf.
With tears welling up in my eyes, I looked up into the blue sky, “Lord, when You’re taking forever to show up, help me to believe the best.”
{God loves you and is working up a crazy sweat doing awesome things on your behalf. Thank you for reading!}
*Originally published July 2013
Why a good marriage isn’t our goal
I’m thumbing out this post on my phone while watching my littles splash in the river, screaming as they run from a vicious dinosaur in the form of their daddy. I’m happy for the chance to bask in the sun, and as I watch, my heart is so full of gratitude for this man I married.
Yesterday we celebrated 13 years of marriage. I know we’re still youngsters compared to some of you, but 13 years is at least long enough to make a few humble observations, not as those who have arrived, but at least who have had some scrapes & cuts & bruises along this bumpy road of matrimony. Of course every relationship is different, but I’d venture to say we all want a healthy, thriving, flourishing marriage.
The key question, then, is:
Why?
If we only want our marriages to flourish so that we’ll be happy, or fulfilled, or satisfied, then as soon as our marriage is no longer making us feel happy, fulfilled, and satisfied, we’ll quickly give up and move onto something else. If we’re really going to have the energy, motivation, enthusiasm and perseverance to tend and cultivate a healthy, thriving, flourishing marriage, we’ve got to have a greater reason why. And I would suggest this is the reason why:
Because your marriage is part of a far greater mission.
I believe that the reason our marriage has flourished (it’s not perfect, of course, but I love it!) is because “good marriage” isn’t the end goal. We didn’t enter into marriage for the purpose of marriage. Here’s what I mean:
Our marriages are less important and more important than we realize. By less important, I simply mean that nowhere in Scripture does it say that your sole purpose in life is to get married and be a “good wife”. We are certainly called to be a helpmeet (ezer) to our husband and to be fruitful and multiply, BUT the greatest purpose of all humankind in scripture is to glorify God, to go and make disciples, to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love our neighbor as ourselves. Our ultimate purpose—showing the love of Christ to a lost world—is not dependent on whether or not you are married.
However, IF you are married, then our marriage is part of that mission, and it’s a far more important part than we may even realize. Here’s what I mean:
Our marriage was meant to nourish us and the world around us by its beauty and spiritual fruit. Fruit that we can enjoy, that our children can enjoy, that the world can enjoy—and that most of all puts on display what God is like. So our marriages are more important than we realize because our marriages are a picture of what God is like. It’s a picture of Jesus Christ and His church (Ephesians 5).
God is for our marriages. God created us to thrive in our marriages. He created marriage to be a picture of Christ and the church, a picture of His extravagant love for us. He wants the world to look at our marriages and say, “Wow! Now that’s love.” Our marriages are actually God’s evangelistic tool. He wants our marriages to be so beautiful, so lovely and strong and enduring, that everyone will want to know the God of our marriage. They will want a love like that.
And personally, I believe that this is the scheme of our enemy who wants to do whatever he can to discredit followers of Jesus and tarnish the beautiful picture of God’s love, by making their marriages are weak, wilted, defeated, discouraged. In other words, the health of your marriage is even more important than you think.
But as long as our goal is merely to “have a good marriage” we’re aiming too low and missing out on the deeper motivation, the God-given drive that will fuel our devotion and inspire us to grow in selflessly loving, respecting, submitting to, and honoring our husbands.
What if your marriage was the only picture of God’s love someone ever saw? What would they think? I pray God would grant us strength and grace to grow such grace-filled and sacrificially-loving marriages that the world can look and see a picture of God’s love. That’s a lofty goal. There’s no way we can achieve that on our own. It would take a miracle, a supernatural work of God to achieve a marriage like that. Which is why it’s the goal we need. He’ll get all the glory.
Praying God’s grace for a God-glorifying marriage that only His power can achieve. Praying for you! Thanks for reading.
Polish the Silver {How to get it right}
I woke up early that morning (it was my birthday) and sneaked downstairs.
I was turning six and so excited for my tea party that day. Mom was still sleeping; she had been working hard to prepare for my party, and I wanted to do something special to help her. I looked up onto the high counter and saw the antique sterling silver tea set. That was it! I knew that one of the things she needed to do that morning was polish the silver–I could surprise her and do it for her! Yes, that was the perfect idea.
Now, Where’s the polish?
I vaguely remembered there being polish in the laundry room, so I dug around a little until I found it. It was thick and white, and oozed out of a special spongy tip on one end.
I set to work with all my heart. Rubbing carefully, I covered every surface of the sterling silver set. It was very white and very pasty. Hmm… It definitely looked different from what I’d imagined, but I was glad that I’d finished the job completely before mom woke up.
Just then she came in.
“Oh my!” she said. Her eyes were so big. (She was so surprised!) She smiled wide, really really wide, as she looked at the silver and at me.
“I polished the silver for you Mommy!” She looked at me with so much love in her eyes and this huge smile, I could tell she was so incredibly blessed by my hard work for her.
“Thank you,” she said, and meant it. “Thank you so much. Can I take a picture of you there with the silver?”
I beamed, and sat beside the white chalky silver for a photo.
Then she came next to me: “Now, shall we make it a little less white? We can work on it together.” Together we did a little more work, rinsing off all the white stuff, and wiping the silver clean. Then, still smiling, she pulled out another container from a tall shelf in the kitchen.
“This is the silver polish. Let’s use this one on the silver; ok? We can do it together.” I beamed, still so happy because she was so happy. I knew she was pleased.
It wasn’t until much later that I understood what all took place, when I looked back at the photo in an album and saw the caption:
“Kari loves to help. She polished the silver for me with shoe polish. :)”
Shoe polish.
Here’s what I love: When I think back on that memory, there is only joy. Sure, in a very real sense I did it wrong. I polished silver with shoe polish. But I don’t remember any shame. No anger, or irritation, or annoyance. I wasn’t belittled.
My mom saw my heart, and in my heart: I got it right.
Last week was a busy one for me, and one morning I came downstairs and discovered that Heidi had wanted to bless me. So she was unloading the dishwasher. She was doing the utensils, but since the counters are so high she was sorting out all the clean silverware … on the floor.
“Mommy! I’m helping you!” She beamed.
“Oh!” I smiled, a wide, wide smile. “Thank you. Thank you so much,” I said, and meant it. And while she wasn’t looking (she’s a photo-phobe), I snapped a pic because someday I want her to know that even when she got it wrong, her mama knew she got it right.
Oh friend, how often I have feared stepping out in faith to serve my God, because I was so afraid I wouldn’t get it right? How often I have feared the failure, or the looking foolish. But there is so much grace and freedom in the Kingdom. Our Father sees our hearts, when we earnestly and honestly work to love and serve Him from a heart of humble childlike faith.
Even when we get it wrong, He sees we got it right.
{May this freedom rule your hearts this week. No fear! Polish the silver! With love…thanks for reading.}
The Ark (Part 3)
… Okay let’s finish this story!
So, in January, we were generously given a raise by the elders of our church. At first was uncomfortable with receiving this increase. This was God’s money! Plus, we were fine. We weren’t starving, and we literally had no needs. We are clothed, we have cars, we have plenty. But again, as I went to the Lord in prayer, I kept sensing Him saying to receive because this was part of the journey. We had become comfortable with being conduits of His love and resources in teeny tiny amounts, and He wanted us to be willing to be conduits of His love and resources in larger ways now.
Plus, to my amazement, because we had whittled down our monthly budget to such a small amount, this “extra” now put us in a completely different position to look for the Ark. I still didn’t have a $ amount, but I began to see that this was all part of God making the impossible possible.
Then I accidentally sold our house.
Ha! Yes, that’s right. This is the part of the story where I say, “Wives, don’t do this.” Jeff laughed so hard saying,
“You sold our house out from under me!” Haha.
Actually all I did was click that teeny tiny button on Zillow that says “Make Me Move.” I was praying and fasting, and the idea came to mind so I did it.
Yeah, like, I did it without asking Jeff. (Cringe face.)
Thankfully, he laughed later and said it was fine, but we received a FLOOD (ha!) of calls with interested buyers. We agreed to just show the house to two people who seemed most eager. The second one came and cried when she saw the house she loved it so much, and offered full price. Jeff agreed, we accepted.
So, um … now what?
The same day we received the offer, a house popped up on the market. I had no filters on my search at all, but it caught my eye because it was 4.5 acres and it looked like …
… an ARK.
The front angled out like the bow of a boat and there were decks all the around. I looked closer. 4.5 acres. Two full living spaces. Huge shop. Wood stove. On a well.
With a pond and creek.
Oh good grief!
My eyes widened. Was this for real? And, with the more-than-expected equity from our house-sale, it would be the exact amount we’d already been approved for, with our new income.
We went to see it and it rang so clearly in my heart, “This is it.” The kids, of course, were ecstatic. We’d seen some absolute hovels of houses, and after seeing all those dives they couldn’t believe we were actually considering a house that they LIKED! Haha, and that’s how I felt. I was like, “Wait what?! This house is actually pretty! I didn’t expect pretty to be part of the process.” I thought it would be like an old school, or a warehouse, or some weird thing like that, I didn’t expect it to be clean and lovely! Of course I would never have picked green countertops or some of the other stylistic parts of the house, but I didn’t give a rip about those things.
This was THE ARK!
Of course I was thrilled at seeing this God-thing come to pass. It was so remarkable I could barely believe it, but then would come the uprooting of more heart-issues. God doesn’t waste anything, and He used this blessing to show me lingering sin in my heart …
Bet you can’t wait for that! Haha. 😉 More soon!
The Ark (Part 2)
{Continuing the story from yesterday! So sorry to keep you waiting!}
… So we prayed and asked God to show us what to look for. Altogether we sensed 7 things, but they came one at a time. I think if He’d showed us everything all at once, we’d have laughed in disbelief and abandoned the whole adventure altogether.
First, He had to help me abandon an incomplete view of what it means to be faithful financial stewards.
See, I’m the Faithfully Frugal girl. I wrote the book, people! And I wholeheartedly agree with every word in there, but I hadn’t realized how much I’d equated frugality with godliness.
With good reason. Nine times out of ten, erring on the side of frugality is going be a safe bet. We’re a nation of over-spenders, often over-indulging ourselves while refusing to help our brothers and sisters with real needs. God had done such a dramatic work in my heart regarding finances and frugality, that I was zealous for frugality.
But in October, God began revealing to me, that although my passion for frugality was well-intended, He wanted to take me deeper. He wanted to teach me to the way of the Kingdom, living as a child of God.
In October I distinctly heard, “I no longer want you to make decisions based on money.”
Say what?! Then how on earth would I make them? Yes, we gave generously overseas and to our local church, but in my day-to-day decision-making, I almost always made decisions simply based on what was cheaper. At restaurants, gifts, groceries, choices of all kinds. My go-to, default, decision-making process was almost always What’s cheaper? or What’s the better deal?
That’s fine for some things, but it’s terribly incomplete. It often isn’t motivated by love, faith, or the gospel. It’s motivated by a passionate commitment to spending as little as possible.
Again, that might be a good place to begin, but I sensed the Father saying from now on He wanted me to confer with Him about every single financial decision, and trust His leading (with my husband, of course) and buy or not buy what He wanted, regardless of price.
Ok, this might seem like no big deal to you, but this was a HUGE SCARY DEAL to me. I kept thinking, “This is fine and dandy for those people with plenty of money, but what about for us?! We can’t afford to be willy nilly with our finances!”
I could almost hear Him laughing. Of course this wasn’t “willy nilly” … this was learning to live more fully in relationship with the Father, not with a commitment to a certain financial principle. I felt so scared to step outside my comfort zone in this way. But you know what? I did it and …
It was awesome! I found myself being so much more generous, buying gifts for people because I genuinely thought it would be their very favorite, not just because it was on sale. I had so much fun dreaming up ways to bless others. I found myself feeling so FREE!
And to my everlasting amazement, of course, we never lacked. 😉
In the midst of this, when I asked God to show me what price range to search for as we looked for the Ark, I kept sensing,
“No. I don’t want you to have a house in a certain price range, I want you to have the house I have for you.”
Um… ok?
But I had no idea what to look for!
So again, we prayed, and slowly but surely, over the next 4 months, seven things kept coming back to our hearts & minds.
- Big. (Not real specific.)
- 4 acres. (Real specific!)
- Two living spaces so that our housemates could come with us.
- An outbuilding of some sort.
- On a well.
- Wood-stove.
- With a water source (pond, creek, etc.) on the property.
So…can you see why I was tempted to laugh in unbelief?? Um…have you SEEN house prices in the Portland area? Sky high! Have you SEEN the million-dollar price-tags on anything that would have all 7 of these items? Seriously I felt like Sarah when she was told she’d have a baby at 90-years-old!
But, the Ark impression kept coming back in alarming frequency. I’ll spare you all the specifics, but it seemed everywhere I turned there was a reference to Noah and the ark, specifically Jesus’ references to this in the gospels.
But again, would money rain down from heaven? How on earth would this happen?
More tomorrow! Thanks for reading.
The Ark
We signed papers on The Ark, so it’s time to share the story. This might take several installations! It’s the next leg of our journey with Jesus. Thank you for indulging me!
Some of you may remember our Downsize Journey from 2010. (There are links to all 5 installments there) Basically, God destroyed our neat-and-tidy lives by opening up our eyes to the world He loves. We read The Hole in Our Gospel, and were completely wrecked. We’d just purchased our “dream home,” and felt like we’d “arrived” at the life we’d always wanted. But sadly, it was just a churchy version of the empty American Dream. (Note: As most of you know, that journey wasn’t about big houses being bad, it was a heart-thing. An idol-thing. More on this to come in the book!)
So: We “lost” $50,000 by selling our dream-home, and were then led by the Wisdom of Buzz Lightyear (remember that?) to move into a dumpy rental where we experienced more JOY than we ever imagined. After taking the leap-of-faith with our church plant in 2012, He allowed us to fall backwards into an old 110-year-old house in the city, with room in the basement for housemates, which just “happened” to be right by where Renew Church would end up being, and where Providence would have us meet “Julie” who would forever change our lives.
“The 1601” has been nothing but blessing. It was such a gift from God.
Then, in March 2015, while Jeff was in Africa, I was praying each day and had a strong impression that perhaps God was going to move us out into the country. On the one hand, we were completely content where we were. We loved the 1601, loved how inexpensive it was, and loved being right downtown, at the hub of everything. On the other hand, we LOVE nature and love being out in the country. We’ve always wished we could raise our kids out in the country but never dreamed it would be financially feasible.
But this impression was distinct, and it wasn’t just about us. Sure, I love rural settings, but I kept having the impression that God was calling us to create a refuge for people. A haven. The word that kept coming to mind, over and over in prayer, was an ARK.
Like, Noah’s ark. I know: So weird. I wrote “ark?” at the top of my journal, and kept praying each day. The impression stayed. When Jeff got home from Africa I shared the strange impression:
“So, I think maybe we’re supposed to build (buy?) an … ark.”
He was appropriately perplexed, but we continued praying about it together.
Over the next 5-6 months, the Ark came up over and over and over. I found an old journal from 2012 where I’d written down a seemingly-random impression when I thought I heard God ask,
“If I told you to build an ark, would you do it?”
Then I started having dreams. No, not “dream-house” kind of dreams, like actual dreams, which I never have. I had two vivid dreams that were alarming and specific, and after waking I remembered every detail. Both had to do with the Ark.
So, we started looking, sort of.
The strange part was, I didn’t really know what to look for. You can’t just email your realtor and say, “Hey, we’re looking for an ark; you seen any lately?” There is no search-criteria called “Ark-ish” on Redfin. This clearly wasn’t about my taste or personal preferences so I couldn’t just use that as a guide. Plus, I no longer had any house-dreams. We’d been there, done that. It’s not that I don’t care about how things look, it’s just that I don’t have a “dream house” bug left in me. I literally had no idea what to look for because I was no longer driven by these things.
All I knew was that we had a teeny tiny income, so I looked for a teeny tiny (read: run-down, barely-inhabitable) house.
We found a few, even made an offer on two, but didn’t get them. Plus, I kept being faced with the rather obvious observation that the Ark was … well, BIG.
So, I figured that since this was God’s idea, He would need to tell us what to pray for and what to look for. So we asked Him and He showed us seven things …
More to come! Thanks for reading!
FOCUS: Finished
Friday’s Reading: Matthew 26:47 – 27:51, Mark 14:43 – 15:38, Luke 22:47 – 23:49, John 18:3 – 19:37
“It is finished.”
-Jesus
~
For the past few years, I’ve finished something significant on Good Friday. I didn’t set out to make this a tradition, but it is interesting how it’s happened. Whether a fast, a project, or a study, I’ve enjoyed this way of physically identifying with the words that changed the world: It is finished.
This year is a double-blessing, as I finished two massive projects today. First, I finished the long process of packing up our house. It’s been a year we’ve been praying about this property thing, this odd ministry-dream that’s clearly Him but unusual to say the least. It’s been a roundabout adventure and I can barely believe this thing is really happening. Sure, my back aches, my feet hurt, and I’d really love a nap … but it is finished. Tomorrow we move.
Secondly, I just finished my book edits and sent off the manuscript to the publisher today. It is finished. Five years ago today I finished and sent out the proposal for this book.
This morning, with both kids snuggled next to me, we put out our three pointer-fingers and all clicked SEND together.
In my little world, these two things feel huge. HUGE.
But still so tiny compared to what Jesus accomplished on the cross.
~
At noon on Friday, after suffering through an excruciating night of betrayal, arrest, beating, flogging, and suffering, Jesus gave up His Spirit on the cross and mouthed His final words:
It is finished.
I’ve wondered before, Why did Jesus say “It is finished” when it wasn’t yet? The real work was finished when He rose from the grave. So why did He say it now?
Because His work was finished.
The power of the FATHER raised Jesus from the dead. Jesus’ work was simply to accomplish what the Father sent Him to do, and surrender Himself to death on the cross.
The Father took it from there.
So too, there are plenty of things here that aren’t finished. This isn’t the end.
But my work is finished.
The Father will take it from here.
And so we are simply called to obey whatever God calls us to do. To finish the work He gives us to accomplish. Then rest in knowing we’ll hear His words, “Well done, good and faithful servant …”
The Father will take it from there.
Oh Jesus, we worship you today.
Thank you for finishing Your work on the cross.
Thank you for surrendering to the point of death.
Thank you for bearing my sin, my foolishness, my selfishness.
Thank you for your unconditional love that bears me up and carries me.
All I can say today is,
“I love you so much. Thank you.”
{Happy Good Friday. Thank you for reading.}
FOCUS: Stay the course
Thursday’s Reading: Matthew 26:17-46, Mark 14:12-42, Luke 22:7-46, John 13-17
“Then all the disciples left Him and fled.” (Matt 26:56)
~
“It’s like I had my head down, running hard, thinking I was surrounded by all these other people running with me. But then I opened my eyes and they were all gone.”
A dear friend was recently sharing an alone feeling. I know that feeling. Thankfully, I don’t have it now, I am surrounded by an amazing group of God-seeking women who challenge and inspire me every single day. I have to work hard just to keep up! And that’s just it, that’s how it should be. It’s way easier to keep running when you’ve got your friends by your side pushing you by their presence.
I’ve often thought about how much togetherness can give you courage for whatever’s ahead. Surrounded by my nearest and dearest I can scale a wall and move mountains (or that’s how I feel!). But it’s also remarkable how someone walking away, quitting the race, leaving your side, for whatever reason, can leave you feeling alone, abandoned, weary …
and completely overwhelmed for whatever’s ahead.
In just a few short hours my family gets to gather with a few others for the Passover meal, remembering that long-ago Passover meal Jesus shared with His disciples, the Last Supper, right before He is betrayed and goes to the cross. It’s a super fun meal. Heidi and I just mixed up the Haroset and Dutch made the Tzibzle potatoes. I can smell the onions carmelizing as I type this.
But when I think back to Jesus’ last supper, I can’t help but think how lonely He must have felt. Here he is, enjoying a supposed celebratory meal, surrounded by his closest friends, fully knowing that in just a few hours they would ALL leave Him.
Wouldn’t His heart be breaking even as He broke the bread?
Just hours before Jesus will take on the sins of the world, hang on a cross, and receive the full weight of His Father’s wrath, just hours before this, as he gears up for the most unthinkably torturous event in the history of mankind, he experiences this:
First, Peter, James & John can’t even stay awake. They’re snoozing while Jesus is praying (Matt 26:40).
Then, one of his friends, one of the 12, Judas Iscariot, betrays Jesus with a kiss (Matt 26:49).
But then, as if this weren’t enough. With a matter of minutes, we read a short verse that nearly knocks the wind out of me:
“Then all the disciples left him and fled.” (v.56)
All His disciples.
All His friends.
All His faithful followers.
Every last one.
Gone.
After spending years pouring into them and loving them and giving His life for them. In a matter of moments, every last one of them is gone.
And He is alone. In every sense.
I can only imagine in Jesus’ humanity, in a point of weariness, utter fatigue and exhaustion (he’d been up all night praying) the abandonment would have made it even more overwhelming to face what was ahead.
I still remember, years ago, in a moment of pain and feeling utterly alone, I bowed down on the floor and poured my heart out for God, I heard this:
“You’re in the middle of something revolutionary. Don’t give up.”
(Not saying my life is a big deal, but I believe that in my little tiny corner of the world, the work He’s doing is revolutionary.)
Perhaps Jesus heard something similar when He cried out to the Father.
“You’re in the middle of something revolutionary. Don’t give up.”
I don’t mean to draw too close of a parallel here. Little lonelinesses we experience are nothing compared to what Jesus endured, being forsaken by God and man as He hung on the cross and bore the sins of the world.
But if you have ever felt alone, forgotten, abandoned, left …
you can identify with Jesus.
You can enter into His story today and experience a droplet of the ocean of grief He bore.
You can let that experience lead you to worship, gratitude, overwhelming thanks to Jesus that He didn’t give up.
He stayed the course.
You can too.
{You’re in the middle of something revolutionary. Don’t give up. Stay the course. Thanks for reading.}
FOCUS: Waste
Wednesday’s Reading: Matthew 26:3-19, Mark 14:1-11, Luke 21:37 – 22:6, John 12:1-8
“For she has done a beautiful thing to me.” – Jesus (Matthew 26:10)
~
About a six weeks ago, a friend had a dream about me. In it I was busy cleaning and organizing instead of praying. Ouch. First, can I just say that I am grateful to have friends who are willing to share hard things in order to help me follow Jesus more fully. In fact, recently there have been several situations where I’ve been overwhelmed with gratitude that my closest friends are people who won’t just affirm my selfishness or feed my self-pity or talk me out of hard things, but who will constantly point me to Jesus. This is what I need! I have enough voices affirming what my flesh wants.
Because of this dream, I’m becoming more intentional about my tendency to DO DO DO. I know I’m a do-er by nature. I know I’m a Martha. And that’s okay, but I also want to cultivate a Mary heart.
On Monday morning I was so overwhelmed by how much I had to do. I’d been out of town over the weekend, the house was a mess, Easter’s around the corner, I had a dozen people coming for dinner that night, and the week’s calendar was so full. The temptation was strong to skimp on prayer in order to make time for all the tasks. But I kneeled by my bed and asked for His input, His wisdom. Clearly I heard,
“First things first.”
So I did. I had my morning time in the Word. I did my normal prayer walk with a friend, then had a phone prayer date with another friend. Then my kids were invited to spend the afternoon at friend’s house, so I found myself with three hours to myself. This never happens. My kids are usually with me 24-7. And I truly had so much to do so I immediately began planning out how I could maximize my alone-time to accomplish as much as possible.
But as I put Justice down for a nap and kneeled on the floor in the dark to pray, I knew God was inviting me to waste a little time with Him first.
My flesh had to die just a little. There were SO MANY THINGS UNDONE. Company was coming. I had legitimate tasks to complete.
“First things first.”
I couldn’t help but hear Jesus’ words for Martha and for me:
“One thing is necessary…”
What is the first thing?
Worship. Adoration. Being with God.
So I looked at all the undone tasks and told them to be quiet. I curled up on the couch and spent time talking to God, listening to Him through His Word, asking His input, rolling over all the cares back onto Him, where they belong.
It was time well spent.
And wouldn’t you know it, Justice ended up taking a longer-than-usual nap and I had plenty of time to finish all the other tasks.
The significance of this all was not lost on me.
Today in the readings we see the religious leaders gathering at the palace of the high priest to discuss how they can secretly arrest and kill Jesus. We see Judas agreeing to betray Jesus. We see Jesus continuing to teach in the temple. And we see Mary break her alabaster flask and pour out her expensive ointment, anointing Jesus with worship, with love.
Everyone said it was a waste, but Jesus said it was beautiful.
I know this is a busy week. I get that there are so many good things to do. But could you carve out some time today to waste at Jesus’ feet?
The sad reality of ministry is that it’s all too easy to busy ourselves with “ministry” tasks and completely neglect the One behind it all. So today, I invite you:
FOCUS on wasting time with Jesus.
Reflection for today: Look over your calendar and to-do lists for this week and carefully consider whether you can cut out any unnecessary activity. Allow some extra margin, some white space, and purposefully schedule time to do nothing but sit, pray, listen to worship music, read scripture, and talk to God. Give your heart time with Jesus. This is the best possible way to celebrate the fact that He is alive today. Hang with Him today! Thanks for reading.