Category Archives: Sacred Mundane

{Remembering this …}

I can see in my children’s eyes when I’ve mis-judged their actions. Just today I was in the kitchen and called Heidi in to me as I had heard her being rude to Dutch. She dawdled (was not obeying) and I thought I overheard Dutch say, “You’re getting a spank!” In my mind this was taunting her and if he rejoices over another’s discipline he gets to share in the same discipline. So I called him in as well.

As soon as I told him the charge I could see it in his eyes. Panic. Hurt. True, honest confusion and panic. His lip quivered.

“Mommy, I didn’t! I wasn’t! I was warning her that if she didn’t obey you she would get a spank! I was helping her!” And I know my boy and the look in his eyes–he was telling the truth. I apologized for mis-judging him and let him go. Surely there are plenty of occasions where his actions and motives are wrong, but this was not one.

The hurt in his eyes stuck with me because I’ve known that same feeling. We all have. I remember the Coffee Shop incident from Santa Clara, and the words, “Well, since your heart’s not in it…” I remember another scenario in the not-so-distance-past of having my motives misunderstood, what it’s like to have someone judge the condition of your heart and be painfully amiss. I start to feel physically sick even writing about it — it hurts.

And, sadly, I’m sure that I have misjudged others’ motives at times.

We’re such a fallen lot, aren’t we?

Those of us still limping through a people-pleasing addiction can find this misjudgment crippling.  But there’s someone inspiring who didn’t let it get him down at all. And we are wise to write our troubles in dust and our blessings in marble.

Instead of nursing the wound of misjudgment, let it slip off and move forward in courage.

Like David. 

Do you remember when Goliath defied the army of God? Do you remember how everyone was scared to death? Well David had been tending sheep but his dad, Jesse, had commanded him to take provisions for his brothers who were in the army camp. So he obeyed His father and did it. When he arrived, Goliath was breathing his threats, and David inquired  about who would fight him and what would be done for the man who did. And, it seems, as God was putting it in his heart to fight this battle, check out the encouragement he receives from his older brother, Eliab:

“And Eliab’s anger was kindled against David, and he said, ‘Why have you come down? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your presumption and the evil of our heart, for you have come down to see the battle.’” (1 Sam 17:28)

Ouch. Talk about mis-judged motives. David was simply obeying his father and then obeying his God.

But what does David do? Does he pout, all upset about being mis-judged? Nope. He does simply say, “What have I done?” and then…

“He turned away from him toward another…” (v. 29)

He just turned away. He let it go. He turned to someone else. He knew that THAT was not the battle to fight.

There were bigger battles to fight.

Too often, sweet friends, we (I) can get so hurt and bent out of shape over the Eliab-remarks and we forget the fact that there’s a way bigger battle going on. The battle for souls, for the gospel, for lives. Will we stay distracted and wounded by the misjudgment or will we move on to pursue the Kingdom of God?

Can you hear my heart? It does hurt to be misjudged, but we can move on to greater things. Remember what the real battle is.

By God’s grace, victory can be ours. 

A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11

{Praying for the grace and wisdom to overlook an offense today. Thank you so much for reading!}

• Sledding for Nana’s bday!
• Dutch so brave, hiking up that big hill and sledding down face-first.

• Heidi’s one way-too-fast ride … that was enough for the day.
• Snowball fights.

• Sunny skies.
• Spending our Saturday at the NW Reptile Expo. Because I love my boy.
• Seeing other friends who love theirs too. 🙂
• Petting the pythons.
• Hot tea.
• Green beans.
• Roasted yams.
• Jeremy’s homemade dark-chocolate coconut-milk ice cream. Whoa.
• Debra in her bday crown.
• The kids so eager to celebrate.
• Kissing my kids. Over and over and over. I can’t get enough of those 2!
• Reading 7 cover-to-cover, laughing out loud.
• My first zumba experience!
• Prioritizing.
• A clean kitchen.
• Peanut butter and homemade bread.
• Resting.
• Ashley.
• Expanding horizons.
• Narrowing focus.
• Leaning hard on Him.
• Trusting.
• His Word, never changing, always hope-giving.
• Hot tea, candles, boot socks, quilts. These are a few of my favorite things.

Have a fabulous weekend. Thanks for reading.

It was that dark winter, living with my parents, fighting to find joy. Dutch was a crying baby. I had no car or cell service. Everyday it rained. Flipping through my seminary catalog, I circled which classes I was slated to take next. The short title of one stood out: Prayer. I took a deep breath. Forget the rigor of Advanced Hermeneutics, this class would be tough.

Our first assignment was simple: Describe your present prayer-life. There was nothing to do but admit the truth. After being a Christian twenty years and having consistent quiet times for nearly ten, I confessed the overwhelming feeling in my heart and began the assignment like this:

“Honestly … I am a beginner.”

There, I’d said it. After finishing the writing assignment, I pulled out our text, checking the syllabus which pages had been assigned. Flipping to the correct spot, my eyes immediately fell to this same familiar word. Tears welled up as His kindness was clear:

One cannot begin to face the real difficulties of the life of prayer and meditation unless one is perfectly content to be a beginner and really experience oneself as one who knows little or nothing, and has a desperate need to learn the bare rudiments. Those who think they “know” from the beginning never, in fact, come to know anything … We do not want to be beginners. But let us be convinced of the fact that we will never be anything else but beginners, all of our life.¹

If you feel in over your head, Congratulations! If you feel like a beginner today, Rejoice! This is a gift. Your utter desperation “to learn the bare rudiments” places you smack dab in the richest soil of all. You are bound to grow. The truth is, we’re all beginners. So if you are blessed enough to know it, rejoice. Yes, you are a beginner. We’re all beginners. We must be.

But this truth cuts straight across the grain of our culture, doesn’t it?

Me, a beginner? As a nation we recoil from the notion. In our world, Knowledge is Power and Power is our god, so Information is the idol to which we bow. Admitting ignorance is avoided at all cost. So with pride and fear nipping at our heels, we’re driven on toward the appearance of expertise, as Tozer says, living “in secret fear that some day [we] will be careless and by chance an enemy or friend will be allowed to peep into [our] poor, empty souls. So [we] are never relaxed.”

“And to the victims of the gnawing disease Jesus says, ‘You must become like little children.’”²

In other words, You must be a beginner.

When Jesus came to earth, He passed over the religious experts and revealed Himself to the lowly in heart. The lost. The prostitutes and tax collectors.

We cannot learn until we admit, we need to. We cannot grow until we confess that we must. “Anyone who claims to know all the answers doesn’t really know very much” (1 Corinthians 8:2).

If, today, you are convinced you are a beginner, rejoice and thank God for His grace. And if you suspect, deep down, you are perhaps the expert, then ask God, by His gentle grace, to remind you you’re not. *smile* Thanks for reading.

Last week we talked about Rachel and Leah and their miserable procreation competition to win their husband’s love and favor.  We talked about how we, as women, can fall prey to the same sin–that of competing with one another instead of loving, supporting, preferring, and loving one another.  The crux of the issue for Rachel and Leah was trying to win the limited affection of one man–never a good idea.

In Genesis 37 we see that the apples don’t fall far from the trees.

You’re probably familiar with the story–Joseph is the favorite son of Jacob (because was the son of Jacob’s old age and of his favorite wife Rachel, and Jacob was the favorite son of his mom, funny how that happens) and because of this of course he receives preferential treatment from his dad.

Once again we see multiple people vying for the affection and favor of one man–and interestingly enough, it is the same man: Jacob.  What a dude. If you EVER are feeling discouraged about how God could ever use you for His glory because you’re not worthy–just take a quick coffee break and crack open your Bible to Genesis and get a glimpse of Jacob.  Heel-catcher, deceiver, supplanter, kind of a stinky father, probably not a super duper husband (although when you have kids with 4 women and they all live in the same tent you don’t have a fighting chance at success). Although, God used Him. And God is the faithful one.

Anyway, all I wanted to point out here, was verse 4:

“When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him.”

Hated him.   Now later on he foolishly shares his dream with them and make them hate him even more, but before he even does anything foolish, they still hate him. Why? Simply because he had more of his father’s love.

Now there are a dozen lessons here, not the least of which is the importance of not treating our children preferentially! But just a quick note at how dangerous envy is.

Envy.

All they wanted was the preferential treatment, the love, the favor of their father. And while it is natural that they would feel envy toward their brother Joseph, it is still sin.  Envy is so dangerous because, as we see here, it leads to hate.

When we find envy in our hearts, hate is not far behind. That’s sobering, yes?  We’d never say we hated someone, but the seeds of hatred are envy. Are there seeds of hate in our hearts?

Moreover, this story reveals that when envy is planted, hate grows, and when it is fully grown it leads to murder.  Joseph’s brothers’ envy led them to such hatred that they planned on killing their own brother.

Sounds like Cain. Envy was what led him to murder his own brother.  Rachel and Leah didn’t physically murder each other, but I bet they wanted to! And while envy didn’t kill them physically, it clearly killed all love and affection they once shared. It killed a precious relationship.

Jesus echoed this as well. In Matthew 5:21-22 he says,

²¹ “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’²² But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment.”

In essence Jesus is saying, it’s not just the end-result that is wrong, the seeds in our hearts are what is wrong.  Murder is the result of hate which is the result of envy.  We tend to treat envy pretty lightly. We joke about a little harmless schadenfreude or wish someone would be taken down a notch. But the root of that is envy, pure and simple. Envy leads to hatred, leads to murder.

Girls, all my fingers are pointed at myself here. We have to be on guard against the sin of envy, no matter how small. No matter what she has that you don’t have or how smart or funny or successful or rich or loved or whatever, we have to be on guard. Someone else’s “success” does not imply our failure. Oh to be on guard against our competitive hearts!  How thankful we can be that we don’t to fight for the love of our God.

It’s worth repeating: God has plenty of love to go around. There is no limited amount for us to fight over, like Rachel and Leah and all of their sons.  And if God’s affection is more than enough, we can rest secure. Amen?

–

In what areas are you susceptible to becoming envious of others?  What steps can you take to root yourself in God’s Word and guard your mind against the sin of envy? Thanks for enduring these heavy words this week, and thanks for reading.

I had pulled the covers over my head.  It was completely irrational. And when our response to a situation is irrational, we can rest assured something is up.

Something was up.

What was wrong with me?

It’d been brewing for awhile.  I was short with the kids, irritable to my husband, and didn’t want anything to do with ministry.   Of course I kept going through the motions but inside I was felt like I was dying.  And now, a small thing had sent me into an emotional tailspin.

Something was up.

After I finally got myself together, I went downstairs–we were late to a New Year’s Eve party (Just what I felt like doing… Here’s to a New Year! I’m a disaster!), so I rushed the kids to the car and avoided looking at Jeff.  I sat in silence while he asked me a dozen questions, trying to pinpoint what could be the matter, thinking it was somehow his fault.

“It’s not your fault,” I kept saying.  I can’t tell him, I thought. It’s so stupid. I can’t tell him. I sat in silence for about 10 minutes then finally knew I had to say it so at least he’d know it wasn’t him.   Here we go…

“I…”  my voice broke and sobs came.  All the lies and hurts came rushing to the surface, I hadn’t realized their pressure until the silence, and the emotional dam, was broken.  ”…I know I’m a bad mom … Of course I don’t want to [take part in this event I’d been invited to]! I have nothing to offer. Nothing. Why on earth would someone want to hearfrom a woman who can’t even get her kids to sit still for a Christmas picture?! I already know I’m a failure….” I continued until all the junk was out.  (And there was plenty.)

He nodded, understanding. So that was it.  His face was dark and I knew what he was going to say before he said it.

“Lies.”

Calmly, evenly, and with firm resolve, Jeff began telling me the truth.  Who I was in Christ. Who He knew me to be. Truth. Truth. Truth. Like missiles launched in the battle in my heart.  Then he prayed for me.  Thankfully, the tower of lies crumbled quickly, and to my amazement, by the time we reached the party the only residue was a tear-stained face and swollen eyes.  I was so happy to have my heart cleansed and set free that I didn’t care how I looked.  But now, looking back several years later, it’s a sobering reminder of the battle that we face.

~

My thoughts were irrational. They were ridiculous. Because they were lies. But the accusations had been made. The case was built. A hundred little scenarios stacked up like evidence against me. I’d believed the lies and the verdict was clear: I’m a failure.

Have you ever heard this lie? Scripture tells us exactly where it comes from. The Father of Lies (John 8:44) and Accuser of the Brethren (Rev. 12:10) lives to whisper false accusations in our ears. And his favorite tactic is to take perfectly innocent situations and suggest to us how each circumstance proves our worthlessness.

Not invited somewhere? It’s because your kids are obnoxious and no one likes your company. A parenting book recommended to you by a friend? That’s because everyone around knows you’re such a failure as a mom. The success of a friend? See, everyone around you is flourishing while you’re failing. Satan can even turn Christmas cards into accusations! See, everyone else’s kids are perfectly behaved. You’re such a bad mom you can’t even get your kids to pose for a picture.

The whispered accusations are loud, and at times the case made against us can seem air-tight. From our perspective all the evidence points to our worthlessness.

But God.

In Zechariah chapter 3 the prophet saw a vision of Joshua the high priest standing before the LORD and Satan standing at his right hand to accuse him. But verse two tells us that the LORD said to Satan, “Rebuke you, O Satan! … Is not this a brand plucked from the fire?”

My hope and prayer is that none of you can relate to my little story above. But I have a feeling you can.  We are all vulnerable to this but this is what you must know:

You have been plucked from the fire by the Living God. He has saved you, loved you, redeemed you. He has declared you not guilty.

The truth is that you are not a failure or a mistake. The truth is that YOU are the woman chosen to be wife to your husband, to be mother to your children, to be the daughter, friend, minister—whatever you are you were chosen to be. Think about that. 

Whatever you are you were chosen to be. 

You are where you are because God has ordered your steps. And God has not destined you to failure. He has perfectly equipped you to carry out His will (2 Peter 1:3).

You and I don’t have to hide under the covers today. The truth sets us free. We must choose to listen, not to the Accuser, but to the Judge. The One who declares us righteous. The One who loved us so much He died to bring us near. We will make mistakes, but there is no mistaking the love God has for us. I pray today that this extravagant love lures you from your hiding place to face a beautiful day. Only the Truth can silence the lies.  Get with God, open His Word, receive prayer–allow the Truth to set you free.

~

What lies are you tempted to believe about yourself today?  What truth do you need to believe to silence these lies? Thanks for reading.

I thought I was the only one.

I read a study last week that found that while 91% of people feel more connected as a result of Facebook, only 29% of people reported that it made them feel happier. In fact, a vast majority of people admitted self-destructive habits including gawking over people from the past (83%) and comparing themselves to others (76%). Strangely, we love being connected to all of these people, but we aren’t any happier because of it.

We’re funny creatures, aren’t we?

Don’t worry, this isn’t a FB-bashing post. I’m on there too. Although I’ll admit I’m not often actually on there. I check in occasionally, read my brother’s kick-my-teeth-in musings on justice and the poor (which always challenge and convict me) and write back and forth a bit with you, dear sisters who travel this road of faith with me. But whenever I start scrolling down the feed, aimlessly searching for who-knows-what, I find myself sucked into the social media hole. I emerge later—too much later—feeling a little dizzy and disillusioned. And, strangely, although I’m connecting with people there, I actually feel more disconnected to the real-time 3-D life I’m living right there in the moment.

It’s not all bad. Obviously the problem is us, not social media. But it poses a problem we must deal with – how to effectively exercise discernment and discipline in our relationships when we just have so stinkin’ many of them.

Are our online relationships help or hindrance to our relationship with Christ?

Every person we interact with online is a form of relationship. Even if we only gawk at her photos or roll our eyes at her status updates. Even if we just spend an hour perusing her site because we’re so fascinated by her life (Yes, that was me on Jen Hatmaker’s site last week). Every person we interact with creates a form of relationship, which influences us at least in the moment and sometimes even more.

Some sites I visit genuinely equip me, inspire me, encourage me, and challenge me. Every time I’ve read Jamie Martin’s writing I feel more encouraged than ever to invest in my children’s education. She doesn’t discourage me or make me feel bad about myself, she challenges me with her humility and high-standards for home education.

There are others. Lacey Meyer’s photos make me want to celebrate my husband and kids. Ashley Larkin makes me want to sit quiet and see the beauty of my day. Anna Kintingh’s letter to her son had me actually laughing out loud.

Many of you have beautiful sites. The online world isn’t evil. The point of this post is this:

We must evaluate: What is the fruit of my online relationships? Is it helping or hindering? (A relationship can be a two-way interaction or simply a one-way interaction with an online in-put of any kind)

Questions to consider: After spending time with this person or on this site …

• Do I want to engage more in the nitty-gritty details of my life or do I want to escape?
• Do I feel inspired, challenged, and encouraged to live for God or distracted and dis-heartened?
• Do I feel comparison and competition as a result of our interaction or do I feel confronted, convicted, comforted, or celebrated?
• Does this person exhibit the fruit of the Spirit?

We must exercise discipline with who we allow into our homes and our hearts. Scripture says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” (Prov. 4:23). Your life springs from my heart. And when my heart is overwhelmed with the picture-perfect images of immaculate homes, do-everything women who apparently never melt down in a heap of tears, or catty comments that sprung up on the social media feed, it’s harder to walk in the extravagant grace of Jesus Christ and keep my eyes on the life He’s given me here.

I’m not advocating life in a bubble, but I’m encouraging all of us to be discerning women. Our hearts are our most precious possession. Guard yours fiercely. 

That said, I believe that thoughtful, intentional, strategic online inputs are absolutely helpful in this life of faith. I wouldn’t have this blog if I didn’t. I believe we can create a safe, edifying circle where we’re challenged, equipped, inspired, convicted, and encouraged to know, love, and follow Jesus Christ. Will you help me do just that? Will you engage, comment, ask questions, and give feedback? Will you challenge me privately if a post does not glorify Jesus? Will you send me a comment if you want to interact about something further? Will you ask for prayer if you are struggling? And will you evaluate all your online inputs and be mindful about which ones draw you closer to Christ?

Thanks for being thoughtful as we evaluate our online inputs. Also check out these great 12 guidelines for social networking below (included in Tim Chester’s new book, Will you be my Facebook Friend?) Thanks so much for making this place a sacred space. Thanks for being here.

~

Twelve Guidelines for Social Networking  

Tim Chester

1.      Don’t say anything online that you wouldn’t say were the people concerned in the room.

2.      Don’t say anything online that you wouldn’t share publicly with your Christian community.

3.      Ensure your online world is visible to your offline Christian community.

4.      Challenge one another if you think someone’s online self reflects a self-created identity rather than identity in Christ.

5.      Challenge one another if you think someone’s online self doesn’t match their offline self.

6.      Use social networking to enhance real world relationship not to replace them.

7.      Don’t let children have unsupervised internet access or accept as online friends people you don’t know offline.

8.      Set limits to the time you spend online and ask someone to hold you accountable to these.

9.      Set aside a day a week as a technology “Sabbath” or “fast”.

10.      Avoid alerts (emails, tweets, texts and so on) that interrupt other activities especially reading, praying, worshipping and relating.

11.      Ban mobiles from the meal table and the bedroom.

12.      Look for opportunities to replace disembodied (online or phone) communication with embodied (face-to-face) communication.

“How do you not get nervous standing in front of all those people? I’m terrified.”

It was 10pm the final night of the women’s retreat and we were perched on camp-beds, blankets wrapped around us. This dear woman sitting across from me was sensing God’s call on her life to speak and teach. She was kind, humble, smart, compassionate, and sensitive.  There was only one problem … she was scared spitless. With a sweet humility she had sought me out and asked what to do. Where to start. What had I learned in my experience speaking at retreats. And she asked the big question: “How are you not terrified?”

It was then that it dawned on me: Yes, this is the first year, of five years of speaking at retreats and conferences, where I don’t feel anxious and nervous.

Now, understand: I don’t mean that I’m just “whatever!” about it. I pray lots and get on my face lots and I fully understand that at any moment God can wipe me out off the face of the planet. He doesn’t owe me a thing. We are always to stand in a place of complete humility and utter dependence.

But here’s what I mean: I think I finally believe God loves me.

He does. He loves me. And even more, He loves every single woman who comes to one of these retreats or conferences. He loves them. He loves me. He loves you. He’s not out to pull a prank on me. He’s not building a big BOMB to drop on my head. He’s not planning to pull the carpet out from under me and make me a huge fool.

He. Loves. Me.

Yes, oftentimes things don’t go as planned. At this past conference I discovered that my last session’s notes weren’t with me! Yikes! But you know what? I sensed God saying that He allowed that to happen so I would rely more on Him and His holy Spirit, and not just find my security in my notes.

In other words, He wanted me to be confident in Him.

That’s where confidence comes from. It doesn’t come from knowing a lot of stuff or looking a certain way.  I do believe we are confident when we know we are walking in obedience to Jesus Christ and honoring Him with the way we live our everyday lives.

But, true confidence, at the core of our being, simply comes from knowing:

God loves me and isn’t out to get me.

He loves me. He isn’t planning a prank on me. He isn’t looking for ways to make me fail. He loves me.

I told her all of this. Several days later she had her first opportunity to speak. I received these words from her that day: “I DID IT!!!! … I had your words echoing through my head as I did too: “God isn’t playing some cruel joke on me to make me fail, nor will He jerk the rug out from under me.”

This truth sets us free. Our children’s most recent memory verse:

“God our Father LOOOOOOVES to bless us!” Ephesians 1:3

In other words:

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.”

Do we believe the truth of Psalm 23?

“Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life.”

He’s hunting us down to bless us. Mark Batterson explains that “follow me” is a hunting term. In other words, God is stalking us down with blessing. He’s hunting us. He’s after us. He’s chasing us around wanting to bless us and we just need to receive it! Believe it! Live in a way that opens up our lives to receive His blessing. Quit running from it and not believing it.

God our Father loves to bless us. He’s not out to get you. He loves you.

May this truth fill you with confidence this week. Thanks for reading.

I’m sitting here looking out over the Molalla River as the sun comes up. The kids are playing in the living room–Dutch is a puma and Heidi a grizzly bear. I just had a cup of the darkest coffee and one slice of bacon (is there a better breakfast imaginable??). We slipped out here yesterday and after many very busy weeks we are savoring a quiet family day unplugged. So I type this from my parents’ computer, (no wireless here) I don’t have any new photos, but I’m grateful for the frost-tipped wilderness outside and the warmth of the fire and ability to recognize that these days won’t last forever. I know God will always be good but this particular season is so sweet. Young kids, bounding, jumping, imagining. They are innocent wonders, haven’t yet learned sarcasm or cynicism. The world is still new and magical to them.  My parents are alive–and I will cherish everyday I have with them. My husband is happy. I know we have many heartaches behind us and, inevitably, before us, but this is the day that the LORD has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.

In college I had a quote posted to my computer screen: “The time to be happy is now, the place to be happy is here.”

Now. Here.

I think of that quote often. Sure, maybe it’s juvenile. But it’s also a great reminder to me now, as a stay-at-home mom embracing the sacred mundane. We all are so prone to look ahead to someday, to look ahead to the next weekend, the next vacation, the next big break.

But the day to rejoice and be glad is today. The time to be happy is now, the place to be happy is here. So today, in this place, I’m grateful for…

• The bird-chirp voice, “Mommy, will you play with me?” I know I won’t always hear those words.
• The thunderous noise of Dutch bounding through the house–a puma, a grizzly, a jaguar.
• Waffles.
• The aroma of bacon and coffee.
• Half-and-half and how it makes the black all creamy goodness.
• A good night’s sleep.
• A warm fire.
• Hand-me-down Real Simple magazines to peruse.
• The soft fleecy inside of my sweatshirt.
• Our minimalist overnight bag–4 toothbrushes.
• My boys building me … a big red heart made of Lego bricks.
• Our dear housemate who brings grace and generosity and fresh flowers to our home.
• Connecting with so many of YOU who are beautiful, courageous, kind, generous, and seeking after God. You are a gift!
• Friends who inspire me.
• Friends who celebrate with me.
• Quiet places to listen to Him.
• Resting in His love, acceptance, grace.
• That we’re all “developing.” (Love that word, Debra.)
• Wearing a lens of HOPE as we look into the mirror and out at the world.
• Jeff jazzed as he studies God’s Word.
• That God is bigger then our foibles, failures, mis-steps, and mistakes.
• That all this stuff doesn’t depend on me.
• That He called us, you and me, before the foundation of the world.
• Secure in His grip of grace.

Happy weekend, friends! Thanks for reading.

{Reminded of this. Grateful to see how continually setting our minds on praying for others FREES us from the burden of often taking offense. Hurt feelings don’t happen as often when our attention’s fixed on praying for others. I hope this can encourage you today…}

I played her hurtful, stinging words again and again in my mind. Like a child touching a wound over and over again. And every time I touched it, it hurt worse.

My mind began to spiral down, a tailspin of self-pity. Why? Why did I deserve to be treated like this?  Slowly I slid, I could think of little offenses, of slights, of insults … sliding, sliding, sliding …

Wait! This is not where I want to go! God is so gracious, His word is clear:

Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ (1 Cor 10:5).

I start talking to myself instead of listening to myself: Thoughts, I command you to obey Christ!  Love keeps no record of wrongs, it does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant  and does not demand its own way, it believes the best, always hopes, always endures.

And it never fails. 

He brings the Word to mind, cleanses out the filth.

And He gives me a little perspective of what persecution really is. 

Pastor Chandler in South Asia, opposed from every direction, even denied a place to live so he and his family slept in the church. Or Nihal Gohain who was dragged out of his shop and beaten severely, because he was a Christian. Or Bandhu Pillai and his family who were cut off from all family when they received Christ and even not allowed to use the village well, forcing the family to walk to another village to get water.Or Pastor Bashuda who was attacked on his bike and literally beaten unconscious and left for dead. Three months later he is still suffering excruciating pain in his head and is asking for prayer.

Oh Jesus, we desperately need your perspective. 

Beautifully, the answer to all of this–whether real persecution of the kind that’s in our heads–is the same:

Prayer.

Jesus’ words are clear and I read them this morning:

“I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven …” Matthew 5:45

Whether we’ve endured a blow to the head or to the heart, whether our body is injured or only our ego, whether bullets are flying at us or merely mud, the answer is still prayer. Pray for those who persecute you (or who just rub you the wrong way).

And pray for those who are truly suffering for Christ.

Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering. Hebrews 13:3

How? A few ways: (A fabulous and extensive list here.)

1. Pray for clear, bold, fearless declaration of the gospel. 

“Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.” Ephesians 6:19-20

“Devote yourselves to prayer… praying at the same time for us as well, that God may open up to us a door for the word, so that we may speak forth the mystery of Christ, for which I have also been imprisoned; in order that I may make it clear in the way I ought to speak.” Colossians 4:2-4

2. That they will have genuine joy sharing in the sufferings of Christ.

“…accepted joyfully the seizure of your property, knowing that you have for yourselves a better possession and an abiding one.” Hebrews 10:34

“Rejoice, and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” Matthew 5:12

“but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing; so that also at the revelation of His glory, you may rejoice with exultation.” I Peter 4:13

3. That their suffering would make them trust God more than every before.

“For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves in order that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead.”  2 Corinthians 1:8-9

4. For their physical protection and deliverance.

 ”So Peter was kept in the prison, but prayer for him was being made fervently by the church to God.” Acts 12:5

“For I know that this shall turn out for my deliverance (from jail) through your prayers.” Philippians 1:19

“I hope that through your prayers I shall be given to you (from jail).” Philemon 22

“Now I urge you, brethren… to strive together with me in your prayers to God for me, that I may be delivered from those who are disobedient in Judea.” Romans 15:30-31

Praying for the persecuted provides us the perspective we so desperately need. 

{Will you join me today, and take 5 minutes and turn our eyes off ourselves and devote those minutes to praying for the persecuted church in our world? If you have time, check out stories at gfa.org or Voice of the Martyrs. Just for some precious perspective to help us pray? Thanks so much for reading … and praying.}

Remembering this today…

There seems to be one thing (and pretty much only one thing) that all of us women agree upon: Female relationships are tricky.

So I opened to Genesis 30 this morning, and it appears envy, jealousy and competition are alive and well in the hearts of women.  The story of Rachel and Leah, both Jacob’s wives, is to me one of the saddest in all of scripture, because it reveals so much about the brokenness and woundedness in women’s hearts.  It reveals that since the first demonic whisper in the garden of Eden, we women have struggled with the lie, “You are unloved and unlovely.”  Forever we have been trying to earn and win the love of others by what we do.  I do it. I’m guessing you’ve done it.  It breaks my  heart.  We all just so long to be loved and accepted.

So the first thing we learn from Rachel and Leah is that we have a raw, gnawing desire to gain the love and approval of others. And, all too often we see each other as a threat, so we compete with each other in subtle (and not so subtle) ways.  In different cultures and at different times this approval and value is found in different ways so the competition will look different.  Rachel and Leah were in a race to bear children because that was what earned them status and value and (they thought) the favor of their husband.

The bottom line was that they each wanted to be the beloved. In our culture, obviously it’s different. I can honestly say I’ve never been tempted to try to bear more children than someone else.  And thankfully, I never have to worry about my husband loving his other wife more.

But I may compete for approval. For status. For the regard or praise of others.

And the desire is still the same. When I do that, I’m operating under the exact same assumptions that Rachel and Leah did–it looks different, but the motive is the same: If I can outdo those around me, somehow, then I will be the beloved.

What also strikes me about this story, ladies, is that our self-worth is very much tied up in our children.  We may not compete with how many we can have. But what about how we birth them, or how we feed them, or what parenting philosophy we espouse, or how well-behaved they are, or someday I’m sure it’ll be how good they are at sports or how well they do at school. I’m sure there’s no end to the ways that we tie up our worth in our kids.  Few things make us proud or shamed more than the performance and ability of our children.

We have to be on guard, girls. The enemy does not want us to love each other.  Nothing makes Satan more pleased than when we view each other as opponents rather than sisters.  The  moment we begin wanting to bring someone else down a notch is the moment we know we’ve been sucked into the demonic game of competition.  He can even use the silliest of topics (epidurals, homeschooling or breastfeeding for crying out loud!) to make us turn on one another.  And you know what that reveals?

We just so desperately want to be the beloved. We want, somehow, to shine. I know I do. I long so much to do something right.  And our motives are mixed. We long for love and favor (good), but it’s as if we think there is a limited amount in the world so we must steal it from others in order for us to be full.

There is no limited amount.

God has plenty of love and favor for us all. See, the problem for Rachel and Leah was that there was limited favor. They had one husband for two women, which is not God’s design.  They, in many ways, were doomed from the start.  But we have no such disadvantage. God’s love for us is boundless and there is plenty of His affection and favor for us all.  There is room for all  of us in this world. You can flourish, I can flourish.

We don’t have to compete for God’s love.

I think as long as we walk this fallen earth we will likely be tempted with this. But girls, we cannot give in. We cannot let others’ successes threaten us. We  wish someone’s kids would misbehave just because it make us feel better.  We cannot wish for someone’s misfortune just so that our pathetic egos can get a boost.  I so wish we did not struggle with this, but we do.

But it has to stop.

My prayer for us is that we, as women, would experience the love of God in such a full and overflowing manner, that there is room in our hearts to wholeheartedly cheer for others. To wish for their best. To be 100% freed from envy and jealousy. To rejoice when others are preferred above us or when others succeed where we struggle.

We have to.

The story of Rachel and Leah is a tragic one. I’m sure their household was miserable.  It reeked of envy and jealousy, it teemed with distrust and dishonesty.  There was no love.  For two women who were probably wonderful friends at one time, the poison of competition likely destroyed whatever love they had shared.

Thank goodness we don’t all share a husband, amen? And the Heavenly Husband that we do share has plenty of love for us all.

Will you cheer me on? I will cheer you on.  I’ll even try to love you if your kids are perfect, though it will be a stretch.

–

In what way have you caught yourself competing with another woman?  What does it reveal about your need to feel love and approval? What steps can you take to STOP and choose to love instead? Thanks for reading.