Category Archives: Sacred Mundane

I felt, last week, that I was probably walking the tightrope, but I didn’t know how to stop.

So I just fell off instead. 

Have you ever been there? Because of busyness I don’t take time to process different stresses or emotions, don’t take time to let God work deeply in my heart, so I settle for the tightrope walk of happiness. I teeter carefully, avoiding anything that might bump me the wrong way. But the inevitable result is that a tiny nudge of another person can send me tumbling off my tight-rope of happiness, when I had thought I was firmly planted on the ground of inner peace.

Have you ever walked that tightrope?  

My grandfather, Howard Zoet, was a prize-fighting boxer and a poet. He was also an amazing man of God, the kindest man I’d ever known (until I met Jeff, who truly is the kindest man I’ve ever met), and a lover of words. He is the one who gave me my passion for writing.  It was at my grandma’s funeral, at the age of 11, standing before the kind eyes of my grandpa, that I read my first poem out loud–a tribute to her life.  I did it for him. Now, in my kitchen I keep a photo of him, holding me as an infant–asleep in his arms.  He died when I was 13.

But when I was just a toddler, he published a book of poetry. In the back he included a section where he wrote a silly little poem for each of his grandchildren–just five of us.  I was the youngest, and the only girl.  The part I’ll always remember, from A Poem for Karina, is this stanza:

Kari, you are kind of funny. When you’re good, you’re oh so sunny!

But when you decide to cry, things sure change–oh me oh my!

Yes, I was 2 at the time, but I think if my grandpa were here today to write my poem 30 years later, it may read exactly the same way.  I still am amazed at how I can swing from high to low.  Why? We all know the answer–not keeping our eyes on Jesus, being too concerned with self, etc. But I love this example in Genesis, that I just read again the other day:

Joseph’s brothers, who had long ago sold him into slavery, now experienced the grace and deliverance of living in the land of Goshen, in Egypt, and receiving provision during the famine. They’d experience miraculous grace, forgiveness, provision. But as soon as their father, Israel, died, they panicked.  Chapter 50 tells us they feared Joseph would pay them back for all their evil, so they sent a message to him (too scared to go in person!), begging him to be kind to them, then they went in person and fell down before him, offering themselves as his servants, if Joseph would just promise to be kind to them.

And what I love is Joseph’s response, which is a comfort and a rebuke all at once:

“Do not fear, for am I in the place of God?” (50:19)

The comfort is, don’t worry–I’m not going to harm you. But the rebuke is–Why have you put me in the place of God? Why have you set your hope on my mercy, rather than God’s? Why have you made me big and God small?  Or, perhaps applicable to us today, Why have you set your happiness on my approval, my provision, my decisions?

Their fear, anxiety, and turmoil was all simply because they had placed someone else in the place of God. They’d put Joseph there instead, and there’s only room for One. And amazingly, Joseph himself is the one to remind them that he belongs in no such place. No one is in the place of God–no boss, no spouse, no friend, no family member, and no circumstance.  What they had meant for evil, God meant for good.  Nothing can thwart the will of our God.

Of course as long as we live we’ll have those ups and downs, oh me oh my! But my hope and prayer is to at least be a little more stable than I was when my grandfather penned those telling words. 30 years ago  I believe Joseph reveals the key to it all.  Who or what is in the place of my God?  There’s only room for One. And when He’s there, there is no tightrope walk. We can climb down from that unstable place and plant our feet on the stability of the Rock.

Standing steady, at least for today! Thanks for reading.

I just have to say it is such a joy getting to know many of you through this space. Although I know I only get tiny snippets of your life, I enjoy the snippets you let me see. Reader Lacey, who refers to herself as “Beans and Rice Lacey” in her emails because she was the one who shared the idea for the Beans and Rice party, recently shared this great story from her days of parenting Littles.  We all could use a little honey more often!  Enjoy!

~

I have a confession to make: Most days I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m no expert. And no other job has humbled me or made me realize this more than motherhood. If you knew me well, you’d know that naturally I’m a free spirited, fly by the seat of my pants kinda gal (aka, I STINK at planning and organizing anything!). In motherhood this has caused me some stress, I must admit.

However, all is not lost. Thankfully, in Romans 8:26, God tells us that “the Spirit helps us in our weakness.” I am SO thankful that when we have made Christ our boss, His Holy Spirit lives within us, and we do not have to rely on our flesh or natural abilities but can actually ask God to guide and direct us.

One particular morning, God taught me this jewel. It was a typically crazy day around our house, and my children were bickering. I was getting worn pretty thin. So I prayed “God, I don’t know what to do here, would you please give me an idea?” And this is what came to me. A simplified version of Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

I brought my two oldest children into the kitchen and I brought out the honey and the vinegar. I asked them if they’d like to taste the vinegar. It was gross. Then I let them try some honey and asked them which one they liked better. Naturally, they wanted more honey. Then I told them “You will always get further using honey than vinegar.”

Next we role played what “using vinegar” looks like: “Give that back!” (they had fun role playing vinegar scenes). Finally we role played what “using honey” looks like: “I don’t like it when you take a toy out of my hand. Would you give it back please?” They got it!

This one little saying has done wonders in our home to create harmony and good communication skills. The kids know that they cannot come and tell on their sibling unless they’ve tried using honey first. Every day we have countless opportunities to practice! They are learning that they don’t enjoy being spoken to with vinegar and when they feel frustrated they are learning how to communicate in a way that doesn’t wound and gets results.

I say this phrase at least 3 times a day: “Ask for what you want and use honey”. Assertiveness training and teaching my children to get along all in one shot! Ahem, this has even been helpful in my own communication.

God is good like that, he helps us in our weaknesses, and He even gives us great ideas when we are fresh out. Praying he blesses your home today with lots of honey!

Do you have any tips or tricks that work in your house? Please share!

And thanks for reading.

I was slicing apples early Friday morning when I noticed a gift from my husband on the counter — a book (yes, we speak the same love-language). It was The Church Planting Wife, an encouraging grace-drenched volume that reads like a warm embrace. (FYI: Christine Hoover writes at gracecoversme.com and her blog-name is spot-on. She’s covered in grace, and I’m soaking up every word.) Inside the cover Jeff wrote a note, reminding me it was exactly six months ago that day we made the final decision to do this crazy church-planting venture.

I had no idea how significant the book it would be. The next day was rough, and when I opened the cover Saturday night and began to read, tears streamed down my cheeks. How does she know exactly how I feel??  

The truth is, any woman would be encouraged and strengthened by the truths in this book. We all face seasons of loneliness, fear, discouragement. We all have highs and lows. I personally think it’s foolish for ministry wives to set themselves apart as somehow separate from other women. All our struggles are the same, they just dress themselves up differently.

Ladies, I believe you all are called to ministry. To leadership. To greatness (AKA servanthood) in the Kingdom of heaven. Whether you teach standing on a platform or kneeling beside a child, you instruct others. Whether you have 1,000 “followers” (no idea what that means, by the way) or 1 follower (who has your cowlick), someone is watching your life and walking in your steps.

This is a pretty big task, and I was reminded today of Joseph. Joseph was destined to be a leader and God sovereignly prepared him for the weighty responsibility of leading a nation … by sending him trials. Earlier this morning my running-pal reminded me (as I gasped for breath up the hill) that the trials I was encountering were enabling me to better serve, love, and understand people.

Yup. I was afraid of that.

So let’s revisit briefly all that Joseph encountered as God prepared him to lead and influence others:

• Betrayal (Gen 37): Joseph first learns a little bit about human nature, the hard way. He learns about jealousy and hatred, and about the harsh reality that it takes very little for people to turn on you.  You can go from hero to hated in an alarmingly short amount of time.
• Slavery (Gen 37): Instead of killing Joseph, his brothers just sell him to a band of Midianites as a slave, who then sold him in Egypt to Potipher, an officer of Pharoah.  In a matter of moments he went from seeing himself as the up and coming ruler of all to the low and forsaken slave of all.
• Temptation (Gen 39): Since Joseph was handsome (v.6), his master’s wife went after him and sought to seduce him, even going so far as to tempt him daily, “Lie with me,” not just once but day after day.  I can only imagine that the wife of Potipher (who could have any woman he wanted) was probably a smokin’ hotty. And Joseph was young and single and the temptation was right in front of him, literally beckoning him, every single day. And yet He resisted. How? Because he rightly knew the nature of sin, that it is against God that we sin (v.9).
• Wrongfully Accused (Gen 39): What reward does Joseph get for his firm resolve and upstanding morals?  Potipher’s wife lies about him, and he is thrown in prison.  *It’s worth noting that at about this place along the journey is when I would throw in the towel.  It would seem that no matter what he does it never works out. What good is it to be faithful to God? Yes, Joseph doesn’t. Because true leaders don’t.
• Forgotten (Gen 40): By God’s power, Joseph is able to interpret the cupbearer’s and cheif baker’s dreams while they were in prison. Though the chief cupbearer promised to remember Joseph when he was released from prison.  Yet, verse 23 tells us, “Yet the chief cupbearer did not remember Joseph, but forgot him.”  After all the excitement, all the hope, all the anticipation of freedom, after all that is built up in Joseph’s mind–he is once again forgotten. For two more years nothing happens.  It would seem that hope is lost.

Psalm 105 gives a great commentary on this story.  Speaking of Joseph it says,

“[God] send a man ahead of them, Joseph who was sold as a slave.  His feet were hurt with fetters; his neck was put in a collar of iron; until what He said came to pass, the word of the LORD tested him.”  (17-19)

Until God’s prophetic word came to pass, the word of the Lord tested him.  For all of us, who know God has called us to something (we all are called to something!), are we prepared for the “training” God may have for us?  Though I loved going through seminary, it is not sitting in a classroom that prepares one for ministry–it is the opportunity to trust God in the hard times, the betrayal, the times spent in a “prison” of waiting, the feeling forgotten. We have to be chopped up before we’re useful for soup. Before we can be poured out to nourish and bless others.  The good news is that Joseph was prepared. He flourished in saving the nation of Israel because he had the wisdom, perseverance  humility, and grace, which was wrought in his life through the crucible of suffering.

What are you going through right now?  How might God be using it as training for the future beautiful works He has prepared in advance for you to do? I’m receiving this alongside you. Thanks for reading. 

“Mommy, do you think somebody will write a book about us after we’re in heaven?”

Startled, I looked up. Dutch had asked the question completely out of the blue, while stirring his bowl of soup at the dinner table. We have never talked about writing books about people after they’re in heaven, and of course if an adult asked this it would sound terribly egotistical. But out of the sweet mouth of an innocent and inquisitive child, it was honest, tender, profound.  I simply smiled and shook my head.

“I don’t think so, babe.”

I could tell he continued to think, and let me tell you — I did too.

No, our goal is not to have a book written about us. I’d venture to guess that’s not your goal either. But … doesn’t it make you think?

What WILL be the lasting impact of your family on this world?

Will you have inspired others to radical faith? To sacrificial generosity? To crazy love? To selfless service? Will you have comforted others? Taught others? Served others? Will you leave the world with a few more filled bellies? Will a few more people spend eternity with Christ because you and your family made your moments count? 

I can’t get Dutch’s sort-of-silly question out of my mind.

What will our legacy be? 

What will your legacy be?

If a book WAS written about our family what would it say?

If a book was written about your family what would it say?

If you have no idea, perhaps a great place to start is by creating a Family Mission Statement. Perhaps you remember we did this last year, but if you haven’t (or if yours can use some touching up, like ours) check it out:

Tsh outlines the process beautifully here.  Or, you can go here to use an online guide to build your statement (we used this and it was fun).  I’d really recommend you carve out some time this week, with your spouse, and pencil out a family mission statement that will set your course.  No one can live your family’s mission. Seek the mission that glorifies God through the unique giftings and callings God has given you. But do it.  (Even if you don’t have time this week, put a date on the calendar.)

I highly doubt any books will be written about the motley Patterson crew. But by His grace I pray we live out the unique way He intends for us to bring Him glory in this life. Here’s a glimpse of how we believe we are to do just that … {When you do yours, will you share a glimpse?  Thanks for reading.}

Patterson Mission Statement:

As a family we seek to glorify God by daily embodying the gospel in intentional ways: Through generosity, simplicity, faithfulness, joy, humility, grace, care, and thoughtful expressions of love.

• We will nurture our spiritual growth and love relationship with Jesus by making personal worship, prayer, and Bible times of primary importance.
• We will be careful and intentional about time commitments, guarding family evenings and date nights while inviting others freely into our lives.
• We will grow in sacrificial giving by increasing the money given away to international causes and missions while spending less on ourselves each year.
• We will take care of our bodies, souls, and spirits by staying physically fit, nourishing our bodies with real food, and carving out regular time for rest, renewal, relaxation, and recreation.
• We will seek to make every moment an opportunity to teach, shape, nurture, and inspire our children to be Christ-followers. We will seek to make the gospel attractive by living in grace, joy, and freedom. We will seek to instruct and shape their hearts rather than merely modify their behavior. We will seek to motivate them by love and grace rather than pride and fear. We will praise their obedience, humility, generosity, godly ambition and courage.
• We will measure “success” by whether our and our children’s hearts are being increasingly conformed to the image of Christ.

• THIS! This is how I felt all week! It was sunny and warm and the kids played outside and we turned our faces to heaven and soaked up the vitamin D. Thank you, Lord, for sunshine!
• Heidi receiving a box in the mail from her cousin — with hand-me-down ballet clothes, tap shoes, and a real tutu! She wore them everywhere (yes, outside in the mud!). I love my girl in her furry boots and ballet get-up, sprinting through the mud shouting, “I’m a puma! I’m a puma!”  Oh this girl has my heart.
• Finishing a couple big projects and having time at HOME to just sort and clean and organize and play and oh I really do love me some good domestic duties. 🙂
• Lentil soup. So much of it!
• When healthy=yummy.
• Good friends over.
• Salted caramel homemade ice cream. What on earth?!!! So good.
• Sunshine.
• Things lined up neatly … for now.
• Hide and go seek.
• Sunshine (have I mentioned this yet???)
• Falling in love with avocados. (I know, they’re not local. Don’t judge!)
• Meeting awesome sisters at the Faithfully Frugal workshop.
• Moving forward.
• Hearing.
• Listening.
• Trying to learn.
• Breaking and being put back together.
• Sunshine!
• Day at Riversong.
• Sunshine.

Now, gotta go back out in that sunshine! Have a glorious weekend; thanks for reading.

Thank you so much for all your enthusiasm and encouragement regarding Plenty and Let In Light! I’m so glad that many of you have been able to enjoy these little 31-day devotionals. Since it’s the start of a new month, we’re offering both these e-books FREE again today only, if you’d like to give them away as gifts (or if you haven’t had a chance to get yours yet!). You can click either book at the right, or click  here for Plenty and here for Let In Light. 

Also, if you have read one or both, would you take a moment and write a review on Amazon? That’d be such a blessing! Thanks so much for spreading the word so women everywhere can be encouraged by God’s truth every day.

Thanks for your support. And guess what? A brand new e-book’s coming next month! Stay tuned. Have a great weekend, and thanks for reading.

Hi. It’s me. This isn’t really a post this is just me saying hi, and I’ve had something on my heart this week. All week I’ve had this sense that we need hope.

We all need hope. You, your days are long and the challenges are real and you’re looking for real answers and real solutions and and the stuff you’re up against isn’t just fluff. Can I just tell you my inbox is full this week with precious notes from you — one of you in Indonesia has a husband on the brink with dengue fever, one of you in North Carolina is about ready to call it quits with a job that’s sucking you dry. One of you is facing a scary diagnosis, one of you just plain has too much to do. You’re all in need … and I am too. And sometimes when we pray, all we hear is silence.

Jesus had that happen too. 

Jesus cried out on the cross, “My God, My God, why has thou forsaken me?”

Knowing Christ prayed these words reminds us of this: A season of aloneness, of silence, of nothingness, are not necessarily because God is displeased with you or that you have committed some horrendous offense against heaven. In fact, the two times I have keenly experienced this have been after making significant decisions to deny myself and follow Jesus. One such experience was in San Jose. That was by far the darkest night of my soul. Heaven was iron. There were no responses. And yet, it passed. That season was for nine months, and then some of the most glorious blessings followed.

The other season was 5 1/2 years ago, when we’d moved in with my parents and I was coming apart at the seams. Nothing seemed to offer any solace and there seemed no good outcome to our circumstance. That too passed.

Richard Foster calls those times “The Purifying Silence.” Though we often cannot tell, even afterward, exactly what God’s reasons were for His prolonged silence, we can often see a spiritual growth afterward that is unrecognizable in the middle of the storm. The further we get from the incident, the more clear it is.

What is beautiful about these seasons is that we realize that we cannot manipulate God. As Foster says,

“God refused to jump when I said, “Jump!” Neither by theological acumen nor by religious technique could I conquer God. God was, in fact, to conquer me” (p22).

The beauty of unanswered prayer, and of silence, and even of suffering is that we cannot control or manipulate God. Strangely enough, the waiting times work in us perseverance, or patience, and this patience produces in us …

Hope.

Are you waiting right now? Is everything silent? Are you knocking on the door but no one’s answering? God is faithful and the silence will not last forever. I pray for strength today to trust Him and hold onto hope. More on this (and a fun story) tomorrow  …

Thanks for reading.

*Portland-Area readers: Tonight 1/30 from 6:30-8pm I’m doing a Faithfully Frugal workshop at a local church. It’s free and I’d love to see you there. More info here!

“So, you have someone who will watch Heidi while you speak?” I thought about this for a moment. Yes, now that you say it that would be the logical thing to do. But no, I don’t have someone. I suppose she’ll just be with me while I speak…

Hmmm…

It’s true that sometimes I agree to things before I’ve thought through exactly how it’ll all work out. Call it faith or call it stupidity, but the way I see it either God will come through mightily or I’ll learn a humbling and valuable lesson.

Either way is fine.

So I took Heidi (she was 2 at the time!) to a women’s retreat where I was speaking. To be fair, I did figure that in a group of 25 college women someone would be willing to help me, right?

We left on a Friday afternoon. Heidi took her responsibility as “mommy’s helper” very seriously. She had her Dora backpack, her pink pillow, her purple sunglasses (I think she thought the “beach” would be sunny?), her Tinkerbell flashlight and her pink “laptop.” She clutched it tight in her arms, held her head up high, and marched out to the car ready for the long weekend in Yachats.

By Eddyville she was fast asleep.

Of course the reality of having a 2-year-old with me was far different than the dream.There were two of us women and two small children sleeping in one bed (!), very little sleep, and a handful of other challenges that are just bound to happen (Oops forgot a towel, oops forgot soap, oops the bathtub doesn’t plug so Heidi can’t take a bath, oops brought the wrong cellphone charger so my phone is dead, oops there’s no CD player to play the songs I brought, oops I guess it’s that time of the month (!), oops had no sleep…).

I will confess I got up Saturday morning and typed out a text to Jeff: “Help! I can’t do this…on the verge of tears, we need to think of something.”

But my cellphone died before I could send it. 

God won’t let me quit even when I try. 

Did I forget that when I’m weak then I am strong? (2 Cor. 12:10)

Did I forget that His power works best in my weakness? (2 Cor. 12:9)

Never before had I more experienced the truth of this than I did that weekend. Heidi sat with me during all five sessions. She was at my side every waking moment. My normal times of stealing away to be alone and prepare just didn’t happen. I couldn’t rely on my own ability to stay calm, cool, collected, rested. Perhaps for the first time in retreat-speaking I was truly and completely throwing myself at the mercy of God and resting in grace.  Providence again….

Our topic was GRACE.

The gospel of grace is what changes us from the inside out.

I’m not sure if anyone learned it more than me. And truly, again by His grace, it was probably one of if not the most powerful retreat times I’ve ever had. It. Was. HIM.

Again, the gentle and kind reminder: Why do we so often stick to the known, the comfortable, that which is in our control when there is grace and mercy for the desperate. There’s filling for the hungry. Satisfaction for the needy. Strength for the weak.

Do I let myself get weak? Get hungry? Get weak? Do I let myself get to that point where I’m just about to quit, so that He can swoop in and display His power?

Sisters, where are you weak? Where are you desperate? Where are you hungry? Where are you needy? Where you are just about to quit?

That is exactly where God desires to pour out His power and grace. 

For me, that Saturday morning God prevented my text message from going through. Kept me from throwing in the towel. Made me wait just a little bit longer.

Where do you need to wait just a little bit longer for His grace to be revealed?

Wherever you’re about to quit, hold on just a little bit longer. Grace is on the way. 

Thanks for reading.

{Remembering this …}

I can see in my children’s eyes when I’ve mis-judged their actions. Just today I was in the kitchen and called Heidi in to me as I had heard her being rude to Dutch. She dawdled (was not obeying) and I thought I overheard Dutch say, “You’re getting a spank!” In my mind this was taunting her and if he rejoices over another’s discipline he gets to share in the same discipline. So I called him in as well.

As soon as I told him the charge I could see it in his eyes. Panic. Hurt. True, honest confusion and panic. His lip quivered.

“Mommy, I didn’t! I wasn’t! I was warning her that if she didn’t obey you she would get a spank! I was helping her!” And I know my boy and the look in his eyes–he was telling the truth. I apologized for mis-judging him and let him go. Surely there are plenty of occasions where his actions and motives are wrong, but this was not one.

The hurt in his eyes stuck with me because I’ve known that same feeling. We all have. I remember the Coffee Shop incident from Santa Clara, and the words, “Well, since your heart’s not in it…” I remember another scenario in the not-so-distance-past of having my motives misunderstood, what it’s like to have someone judge the condition of your heart and be painfully amiss. I start to feel physically sick even writing about it — it hurts.

And, sadly, I’m sure that I have misjudged others’ motives at times.

We’re such a fallen lot, aren’t we?

Those of us still limping through a people-pleasing addiction can find this misjudgment crippling.  But there’s someone inspiring who didn’t let it get him down at all. And we are wise to write our troubles in dust and our blessings in marble.

Instead of nursing the wound of misjudgment, let it slip off and move forward in courage.

Like David. 

Do you remember when Goliath defied the army of God? Do you remember how everyone was scared to death? Well David had been tending sheep but his dad, Jesse, had commanded him to take provisions for his brothers who were in the army camp. So he obeyed His father and did it. When he arrived, Goliath was breathing his threats, and David inquired  about who would fight him and what would be done for the man who did. And, it seems, as God was putting it in his heart to fight this battle, check out the encouragement he receives from his older brother, Eliab:

“And Eliab’s anger was kindled against David, and he said, ‘Why have you come down? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your presumption and the evil of our heart, for you have come down to see the battle.’” (1 Sam 17:28)

Ouch. Talk about mis-judged motives. David was simply obeying his father and then obeying his God.

But what does David do? Does he pout, all upset about being mis-judged? Nope. He does simply say, “What have I done?” and then…

“He turned away from him toward another…” (v. 29)

He just turned away. He let it go. He turned to someone else. He knew that THAT was not the battle to fight.

There were bigger battles to fight.

Too often, sweet friends, we (I) can get so hurt and bent out of shape over the Eliab-remarks and we forget the fact that there’s a way bigger battle going on. The battle for souls, for the gospel, for lives. Will we stay distracted and wounded by the misjudgment or will we move on to pursue the Kingdom of God?

Can you hear my heart? It does hurt to be misjudged, but we can move on to greater things. Remember what the real battle is.

By God’s grace, victory can be ours. 

A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11

{Praying for the grace and wisdom to overlook an offense today. Thank you so much for reading!}

• Sledding for Nana’s bday!
• Dutch so brave, hiking up that big hill and sledding down face-first.

• Heidi’s one way-too-fast ride … that was enough for the day.
• Snowball fights.

• Sunny skies.
• Spending our Saturday at the NW Reptile Expo. Because I love my boy.
• Seeing other friends who love theirs too. 🙂
• Petting the pythons.
• Hot tea.
• Green beans.
• Roasted yams.
• Jeremy’s homemade dark-chocolate coconut-milk ice cream. Whoa.
• Debra in her bday crown.
• The kids so eager to celebrate.
• Kissing my kids. Over and over and over. I can’t get enough of those 2!
• Reading 7 cover-to-cover, laughing out loud.
• My first zumba experience!
• Prioritizing.
• A clean kitchen.
• Peanut butter and homemade bread.
• Resting.
• Ashley.
• Expanding horizons.
• Narrowing focus.
• Leaning hard on Him.
• Trusting.
• His Word, never changing, always hope-giving.
• Hot tea, candles, boot socks, quilts. These are a few of my favorite things.

Have a fabulous weekend. Thanks for reading.