Category Archives: Sacred Mundane

Monday’s Reading: Matthew 21:12-22, Mark 11:12-19, Luke 19:45-46, Luke 21:37-38

“Jesus entered the temple and drove out all who sold and bought in the temple, and he overturned the tables of the money-changers and the seats of those who sold pigeons. He said to them, “It is written, My house shall be called a house of prayer, but you make it a den of robbers.” Matthew 21:12-13

~

Just as I started typing this post Jeff came into the office holding a box. “It came!” He announced, grinning ear to ear. I lit up. “Oh yay! That deserves a writing break.” I slid the computer off my lap and opened the box, pulling out the new garment and admiring the vibrant blue color. We’d received a coupon and a dividend, and Jeff insisted we use it on a special treat for me: a cozy fleece North Face sweatshirt.  I immediately tried it on and admired the great fit. Although I hate shopping, I had to admit, It is kind of fun to get new stuff.  You know the feeling, right? There’s this slight thrill that runs through your body, a rush that brightens your mood, makes you feel more motivated, more confident.

I glanced once last time in the mirror. I did look pretty cute in the new sweatshirt.

I walked into the office and slide the computer back on my lap to finish this post. Then it occurred to me what the topic for today just happened to be.

Funny.

See, on Monday Jesus arrived in Jerusalem and entered the temple. It is not a sweet and peaceful scene. This is kind of a scary one. Jesus only loses His cool one time in Scripture and this is the time. Even when He’s beaten, scourged, and hung on a cross He is in complete composure, but this, this scene in the temple sets Him off, holy anger consumes Him and He’s enraged, overturning tables and chairs, driving out the peddlers, refusing to let anyone carry anything through the temple. Why? Because, as He said, “My house shall be called a house of prayer, but you make it a den of robbers.” God intended the temple to be a sacred place where man and God commune, but people had turned a holy ritual it into a money-making venture. 

I’ll say it again: They had turned a holy ritual into a money-making venture. 

I’m mostly going to let this application speak for itself. When we look to Jesus we see Him ticked off about letting sacred celebrations turn into crass commercialism, turn into a money-changing event.

I know that sweet little thrill of buying new stuff. (Hello, I’m wearing my new sweatshirt as I type these words.) But we must be mindful of this lure and continually look to Jesus who brings focus to our lives.

Again, this isn’t about a boycott on bunnies, it’s simply a call to:

FOCUS on the sacred celebration, not the Easter items to buy. 

Reflection for today: What material items are most important to you during this season? Is there anything perhaps you could go without this year, for the same of simplifying and keeping the focus on the sacred celebration? Not saying every purchase is forbidden, but consider which purchases are really necessary to help your family FOCUS on Christ. Thanks for reading.

Sunday’s reading: Matthew 21:1-9, Mark 11:1-11, Luke 19:29-38, John 12:12-15.

And the crowds that went before Him and that followed Him were shouting, “Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest!” Matthew 21:9

~

I knelt down in the dark, face down to the carpet, and let me prayers, complaints, and requests flow freely. Several minutes in, I had to pause. I rewound briefly in my mind:

Almost everything I had prayed thus far was concerning circumstances and temporal things.

Earthly stuff.

Now, that’s a great place to begin in prayer. But if that’s where I stay, I’m bound to be disappointed. And today is the perfect time to FOCUS our hearts on something deeper, something real. What we need most.

See, Hosanna simply means “Save now!” 

The disciples and the multitudes were expecting Jesus to establish an earthly reign.  They wanted an earthly Kingdom. They wanted freedom from the oppression of the Romans. They wanted Jesus to forcefully seize control of the political realm and establish an earthly reign in Jerusalem.  And this kick-off event of the Passion Week reveals their anticipation that Jesus would indeed be their new king.  They wave the branches and lay down their clothes, getting ready for Jesus to take over and reign.

But then He goes and dies instead. 

All along Jesus kept emphasizing that His Kingdom was not an earthly one. He kept upsetting their expectations.  Kept turning everything upside down. The least is the greatest. Humble yourself to be exalted.  When asked by Pilate if He is king of the Jews, Jesus responds plainly: “My Kingdom is not of this world.”  But no one seemed to understand all this.

Do we?

His purpose all along was to reach down to earth that He might bring deliverance to His people and populate The Kingdom of Heaven.

How often I seek the wrong kind of salvation. How often I forget that Jesus didn’t save me in order to set up a glorious happy Kingdom here in this life, on this earth, for me.  This earth and everything in it is passing away–merely a breath.  I spend probably 90% of my life and time and energy praying and thinking and asking for blessings here on earth. And don’t get me wrong, I want to receive them!

But how much better to pray, ”Thy Kingdom come, my kingdom go.”

When I cry, “Hosanna–Lord save now!”  what does that really mean? If I were really to spell out what that often means in my heart it’s probably,

“Hosanna–Lord save me by giving me good sleep and by making my husband really happy all the time and by making him always do the things which please me and by making my children behave all the time and become really smart, and by blessing us financially and making me a really successful author and by keeping every day exciting and fun and by always giving me success.  Yes, Lord! Save now!”

Christ really came to save us from sin. He came to set us free from ourselves. What if our Hosanna! meant:

“Lord, save me from my pride, my greed. Save me from making choices that lead toward destruction. Save me from hoarding my resources, from grabbing and insisting things are mine. Save me from my ego which always wants more praise and glory. Save me from despair and hopelessness which discounts Your power and faithful provision. Save me from my moodiness and touchiness that makes me easily hurt. Save me from impatience with my kids, save me from unkindness toward my  husband. Oh Savior, save me from myself. Your kingdom come, my kingdom go.

So today, as you look to Jesus:

FOCUS on seeking God for your real needs.

Reflection for today: When I pray “Save now!” what do I really mean? Am I asking for earthly comfort or the Kingdom of heaven? What might be your deepest heart-need right now, and how can you make that prayer of primary importance this Easter season? Thanks for reading.

I stood at the sink and shook my head, trying to pin down the vague heavy feeling of discouragement that had plagued me for a few days.

“I’m just not winning anywhere,” I finally admitted. Then smiled, “I know you know the feeling.”

Jeff smiled and nodded, pulling me close into his arms, not taking offense because we both know it’s true. These early days of church-planting can sometimes feel disheartening. “Planting” is by definition a season of pushing seeds deep down underground (that is, where they are unseen) and then watching and watering and waiting. (Heavy on the waiting party.)

Planting season is heavy on labor, light on harvest. If you’re prone to evaluate things based on immediate visible results, planting is not the business for you. (Or parenting, for that matter.)

But planting is the business for us, for now, and we thoroughly enjoy it and the blessed saints surrounding us and the adventure each day brings. But we live in a celebrity culture which idolizes winners, champions, stories of success. Fair enough. Our Lord was a victor, a winner, a champion. He successfully conquered sin, death, and the grave.

Some days I can’t even seem to successfully conquer the laundry. 

And no one celebrates when I sweep up crumbs for the zillionth time and put another meal on the table.

My own mundane life is juxtaposed with the laughing, flawless “winners” who grace every screen, page, billboard and stage.

This week I read an interesting article, a critique of the “radical” movement which calls Christians to abandon American comforts and live lives of sacrifice. While I wholeheartedly embrace this movement, the author made an interesting observation, pointing out that the “radical” literature still elevates a “winning” American mentality, celebrating big-name and big-splash acts, saying:

By contrast, there aren’t many narratives of men who rise at 4 A.M. six days a week to toil away in a factory to support their families. Or of single mothers who work 10 hours a day to care for their children. Judging by the tenor of their stories, being “radical” is mainly for those who already have the upper-middle-class status to sacrifice.

Nor are there many stories of “failure”—of people sacrificing without visible signs of transformation. As a result, many of the narratives implicitly convey that the reason to go and die is the gospel success that will follow. In most stories, the results come during the lifetime of those who decided to “come and die.” [Rather], God’s “greater” often seems like disappointment and failure, and that in our “most dire moments [God] seems almost absent.” Given how prevalent such moments seem in the Christian life—and in Scripture—they are disproportionately underrepresented in the “radical” literature.

Just this week, on a low morning, I opened God’s precious Word and found myself sitting with David in 1 Samuel. In one of my favorite passages, I re-read of David fleeing from Saul, hiding in the cave of Adullam, and receiving those who gathered around him. Who rallied around to support him?

“Everyone who was in distress, everyone who was in debt, and everyone who was discontented, gathered to him. And there were with him 400 men” (1 Sam. 22:2).

Four hundred losers! 

Sweet dream-team, David.

They were not glowing examples of victorious living. They were not the “winners” I would have chosen for my team. But this was David’s army, and David led these men to victory.

Again and again and again.

We all “know” this truth, but it bears repeating.

God is not looking for winners. He’s looking for losers.

He’s looking for those who will lose. Lose their money. Lose their comforts. Lose their reputations. Lose their pride. Lose their lives.

Even Jesus’ win came through a loss.

His life came through death.

And the truth is that most the “winners” in Scripture weren’t considered winners during their lifetime. They never “achieved” or arrived. In the great Hall of Faith we read,

“These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth” (Heb. 11:13).

And these “losers,” Scripture says, are those “of whom the world is not worthy.”

The world and all its titles–Winner, Champion, Celebrity–isn’t worthy of those blessed “losers” in scripture who “did not receive what was promised” …

but persevered anyway.

God is looking for these kind of losers. To be His hands and feet, who will care not for glory or reputation, for praise or celebration, but who will simply, quietly, faithfully love His people, feed His sheep, and give cups of water to His little ones. 

If you look around and you’re “just not winning anywhere,” keep on losing, keep on loving, keep on trusting, keep on giving. 

Keep on believing.

God is looking for losers just like me and you. 

{Thanks for reading.}

I certainly hope you’re not. (On drugs, that is.) But there’s a truth so critical here that we have to use this example to get it through our deeply entrenched I-earn-God’s-love-by-my-performance mindset.

Let’s introduce Sara. Sara may or may not be Julie, but I need to keep switching names around or else you’ll know too much. So Sara may or may not be using drugs. I’ll keep that ambiguous too. Sara may or may not be making poor choices. Let’s just say (purely hypothetical) that she’s making poor choices, ok?

So we’ve got hypothetical Sara who has a hypothetical drug problem and is hypothetically making poor choices.

You get the picture, right? Right. So Sara is on every form of assistance there is, but Sara still fell upon some hard times and found herself with no money and some major bills looming ahead. The week before last we talked through this — three bills in particular that were due last week and she had no money to pay them and was panicking about losing her apartment and ending up homeless. (A valid concern.)  With no job, no job history, no driver’s license, no bank account, nothing, there is little chance of money falling down from the sky for this person. Let’s just say no tax returns are coming her way. So we talked through options, various charities she could approach to ask for help. We mapped out a plan for each of the bills, but even though she asked each source, nothing came through.

Finally, last Wednesday we met up at The Father’s Heart, and she explained that she had to pay one bill by that night or she’d be sunk. I knew that I could pay the bill for her, but didn’t want to act until she’d exhausted all options on her own.  At 3pm we spoke on the phone and she was panicking. So I told her we needed to pray to God that He would provide for her to pay her bills. I’ll admit, it felt a little silly, praying together with her on the phone, knowing she was in a deeper mess than I could even fathom, and wondering how (or why) on earth God would provide her money in a matter of hours. Afterwards, I spoke to Jeff and he agreed that we could hire her to clean our house and then pay her bills directly. So at 4pm I called her back. No answer.

5pm. No answer.

Next morning, no answer. Great, I thought. What’s she doing? I wanted to just go and pay her bills for her that afternoon since I knew what they were and how to do it. But as I prayed about it I felt God say, “Just wait.” 

Finally, the next afternoon she answered. I could hardly understand what she was saying as she shouted over the phone, breathless, “I WORKED! I worked! I worked! Someone in Portland knew someone who was doing a painting job and needed help and I went in and I worked! I worked all evening and all this morning and I’m so tired but I worked! And they paid me!”

Long story short, in this one out-of-the-clear-blue painting job, she was paid enough to pay not one, not two, but all three of her bills. Which she did promptly.

What? Really God? Within an HOUR of our praying together you provided all the money she needed? (And yes, we made sure and connected-the-dots so she knew that this was GOD answering our prayers.)

Let me tell you what: God loves to bless you even if you’re on drugs. We have to understand that the God of the universe LOVES you and WANTS to bless you and display His power. We don’t earn his miracles by our merit. We don’t deserve His provision because we’re so perfect. If we believe He only blesses us when we’re doing everything right, we are resting on pride and not on grace. Certainly there are negative consequences for sinful behavior (and Sara is reaping a whole load of those as well), but when we seek Him we will FIND Him and He LOVES to bless our little baby steps of faith.

Miracles aren’t just for missionaries; they’re for the marginalized too. The lost. The addicted. They are for sinners like me and you and all the ones on the fringe — whoever calls on His  name. 

We must kick to the curb this belief that we’re only “eligible” for miracles if our track record is clean.

We’re eligible for miracles because Jesus’ track record is clean. 

That’s the gospel. That’s “the gift of God, not of works, so that no one may boast.”

That’s good news.

~

{Where do you need to believe and ask God for His provision even though you don’t “deserve” it? How can you rest in knowing you’re eligible for a miracle because of JESUS? How can you celebrate His gift of grace today? How can you extend that grace to others? Thanks for reading.}

I’ve shared here and there about Julie. Suffice it to say she’s a woman in need of Jesus (just like me) who lives in the margin of society and wound on my doorstep via Bus Stop 32. I hang out with her and call her and tell her I love her and hug her and drive her around places. And pray away a lot of demons. Stuff like that.

A friend recently asked me, “Do you like spending time with her?”

The question surprised me. Then I realized, in that moment, Yes. Actually, yes. I do like spending time with her. At first it made me crazy. We had to learn boundaries and everything made me so uncomfortable I have to admit I just felt like squirming all the time until I’d drop her off. But now … I like spending time with her. I really do. It’s refreshing. She helps me see the perspective of the homeless, the marginalized, the addicted, the unwanted. I don’t always love it but she helps me see the world through new eyes. As we were together driving along the freeway the other day, I looked at all the billboards and thought, “Wow. Not a single one of these applies to her. None of this. Ads for MBA college degrees, a Fred Meyer ad that “Wedding season is coming!”, a gourmet pizza parlor. As we looked through Craigslist looking for job opportunities, all of them required a drivers license. She’s 38 years old and has never had a driver’s license.  Now, hopefully someday we’ll do something about that, but my point is that hanging out with her helps me see everything through the eyes of those on the margins of society. And I — the graduate-degree-educated, middle-class pastor’s wife — can use some new perspective now and then!

But my friend’s question made me realize a simple truth — love comes before like.

Love comes before like.

All I mean is this: We all have people in our lives who we struggle to like. We wouldn’t naturally choose them as friends, perhaps. They’re from church or work or even in our own family, and there’s just no way to get around it — you just don’t click. You don’t have anything in common or perhaps you have too much in common.

What’s sad is that in that situation most people in our world would simply say, “Well, that’s too bad. You just don’t hit it off with everybody. Go find someone you do click with.”

But I wonder about that. Certainly, we’re not called to be best friends with everyone. But we are called to live in fellowship, to extend love, hospitality, friendship, kindness. Paul says we’re to live “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:2-3 ESV) 

That’s a really beautiful way  of saying, “Be friends with each other!” 

How do we do this with people we just don’t like?

We remember that love comes first.

See, if we have these two switched then everything gets mixed up. We tend to think that we have to have a natural liking for someone first, and then it grows and develops into love. But really it’s the opposite. When we choose to love someone, for their own sake, we get blessed (and surprised) when we actually start liking them as well.

In Jen Hatmaker’s book Seven, she says that her experiment with living on less didn’t make her uncomfortable — God simply changed her comfort zone and made her comfortable with new things. I can relate to this. Even though I’m still a WAY newbie to all this, I’ve been into The Father’s Heart a few times, a local street ministry place recently that feeds the homeless. Then the other day, I was driving home by myself from a speaking engagement, and I glanced at the clock. It was noon. The first unguarded thought that entered my mind was, “Oh, it’d be fun to go stop in at The Father’s Heart.” What? FUN to stop in at a homeless shelter and hang with people who haven’t showered in, oh I don’t know, years?

I went home instead and made a picnic for my kids (they’re fun too!) but I had to wonder, “Why was that the first thought that came in my mind? Why am I starting to like doing weird stuff? Why am I starting to like weird people?”

I think because of this: Love comes before like.

A month ago I started praying, “Show me how to love.” That one simple prayer. All the time. I’m not love-expert now, but I see tiny ways God is answering. And one of those ways is that I’m staring to like some people I didn’t like before.

Wonders never cease.

~

{Growing, learning, asking God to help me love. Praying you too are experiencing the love of God that makes you start to like people you wouldn’t naturally like. Is there some practical step you can take to love that person in your life? Thanks so much for reading.}

• My kids’ recent obsession ith spinach. What?!
• Night party on our front porch on a warm spring-is-coming night. Kids’ asking, “Can we eat some spinach?” Bringing out the bag and telling them go crazy! Passing the bag around like Doritos. Hilarious.
• Moreland MOPS. Awesome women!
• Coming home from speaking at MOPS, to do a picnic at the park with my sweet fam.

• Surprising Jeff by taking the MAX into PDX to meet him at the finish line of the Shamrock Run 15k. Woohoo! Go Daddy go!
• Post-race Stumptown coffee. Yes, please!

• Sunshine.
• Trying my hand at water kefir.
• That the kids drank it!
• Vitamins.
• LIFE.
• Breath, water, sunshine. Simple GIFTS from the Father.
• Mary’s miracle.
• Believing.
• Seeing Him come through.
• Sweet fellowship.
• Homemade hummus. I could live on that stuff.
• Adventure.
• Spontaneity. (I’m learning.)
• A simple day at home.
• Kids running through downtown PDX.
• Touch.
• Prayer.
• Love.
• Knowing He’s near.
• Good friends.
• Good sleep.
• Circling in prayer in downtown OC.
• Believing God.

{Praying your weekend closes with rest, JOY, peace, and the assurance of His extravagant love for you. May you know it deep down. Blessings, friends! Thanks for reading.}

Finishing theses thoughts from Wednesday. My only regret is that these words can’t be delivered with a big hug, a face-to-face smile, and a lot of laughter because I know the chaos of kiddos and how many days just getting a shower is a huge victory. Hang in there, and I pray you can be encouraged today by how SIMPLE it is to just give your kids YOU. A Spirit-filled Mommy is the best thing you can give them.  I pray for joy and energy today as you raise your littles. Thanks for reading, and have a great weekend!

4:: Resist peer pressure.

• The most dangerous form of peer pressure isn’t that of other children on your child, but of other adults on you! That’s right, more often than not, it is pressure from other adults that make us do things we later regret and make choices that are not in the very best interest of our children. How many times have we made parenting decisions because of who was watching? Yup. We’re all guilty. Whether it’s a mother-in-law, best friend, or neighbor, we’re all prone to buckle under pressure, and some of us do it so often we don’t even know that biggest motivation and influence in our parenting decisions is simply the opinions of others! We must stop. We must believe, once and for all, that God gave us the responsibility of raising these children, and He will inform the decisions we make.

• We have to painstakingly evaluate our motives, constantly, to see if we’re looking out for the best interest of our child or the best interest of ourselves, to impress or please those around us. Michael Pearl writes, “There can be only one motive for training your children–their welfare as they grow to bring glory to God. If you accept pressure from friends, relatives, or society to perform in a certain way, then you are no longer raising children; you are coaching performers. The expectation of others is a blind motivator. It cares not for soul or child, but praise of parents. Don’t let anything, including [this book], put you under pressure to display your good parenting. If necessary, be content to be a failure. Care not for your reputation. True training is soul training.”

• God’s Word says the fear of man is a snare (Prov. 29:25). It trips us up and makes us do things we’d never do, foolish things, things that will hurt our children. Remember: If God smiles, it doesn’t matter who frowns.  That said, be sure to seek humility and not an arrogant “I can train my kids however I want” sort of mentality. Love does not seek its own (1 Cor. 13:5). Love always seeks to bless others, honor others, and raise up children who will do the same.

• Finally, keep this in mind also in terms of how much time your child is spending with other children. Today we toss around the term “socialization” left and right, but it’s nowhere in scripture. The person your child needs to be with the most is you. Not other children. They will learn the most not by being around other children his or her age, but by being around siblings, adults, and a church family where many different ages are together. Of course same-age friends are great, but season your child’s life lightly with them. Don’t overdo it.

5:: Cultivate the environment of your home.

• One of the best things you can do is create a purposeful mission statement for your family.  (Click here for help creating your own) This way, you can have a clear course for how you want to shape the environment of your home. If you want your children to love Jesus, fill your home with scripture, Bible stories, as well as wholesome virtuous books and materials that cultivate godly character. Toss out the movies, shows, videogames, or books that contain examples of brattiness, rudeness, teasing, violence (big one!), dishonesty, etc. YOU can control what your child thinks is “normal.”  They will have their whole life to be bombarded by the garbage of the world; fill them up FIRST with the truth and beauty of God, which will provide their standard for what is good for the rest of their lives. It’s amazing how children learn quickly what is not appropriate (even if you don’t explicitly tell them) simply based on learning all about what is good.

• Play worship music or scripture-lullabies (www.scripture-lullabies.com). Turn off the TV. Don’t buy videogames. Electronic gadgets will never take the place of real-life talking and interacting. In fact, the less time your child spends in front of a screen the better. It’s so tempting to just stick them in front of a computer/TV/ipad/Leapfrog pad, but limit screen time. Let your child have enough time, quiet, and space, to get bored and then have to think creatively and use his imagination to think of things to do. This helps his brain develop and makes the smarter, calmer, and more creative. (More on this in Boys Should Be Boys by Meg Meeker)

• Do not let anything into your home (people or media) which does not honor God and contribute to the peace, joy, and purity of your home. Watch your words and your tone, how you speak to your children and your husband.  REFUSE to use sarcasm in your home. While sarcasm (literally tearing the flesh) is harmful for everyone, it is especially toxic and damaging to small children. Establish a “No sarcasm” rule in your home. Teach your children to THINK before they speak: Is it True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, and Kind? (Teach yourself too!)

• It’s so true: “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”  Try this simple trick: Smile. Force yourself to smile. It’s hard to explain, but when we get in the habit of physically smiling more, we become happier. Our children behave better. Our husbands are happier. Give it a try. Write reminders around your home and make the effort to SMILE as much as possible. You might be amazed at the changes you see.

• Finally, be careful that you do not set such high standards for your children that you are constantly frustrated, grumpy, and therefore breaking fellowship with them.  Michael Pearl writes, “If you can’t bring your children up to your higher standards, and, as a result, you find that you are critical and losing fellowship with the kids, then lower your standards to the point where you can relax and enjoy their company. It is better to have an undisciplined, selfish, self-centered brat who feels secure and loved than to have an undisciplined, selfish, self-centered brat who feels she is despised by everyone.” Looking back on my childhood, there are several things that come to mind that my parents probably could have been more strict on.  It is a tragedy that I am 30 years old and still –in unguarded moments–put my elbows on the table during dinner. But the overwhelming feeling that characterizes my childhood is one of unconditional love and acceptance. For whatever reason I always felt like my parents were wildly proud of me and in love with me.  I never doubted that they felt like they were the luckiest parents in the world to have my brother and I as children.  That is priceless. That is worth a whole lot more than having perfect manners. If we have raised our standards to a point where our children in any way question our approval and undying affection for them as people, we must figure something else out.  We either need to rise to the occasion and train them more consistently, or lower our standards to the point where they can succeed.

RESOURCES

Don’t Make Me Count To Three by Ginger Plowman

Babywise and Toddlerwise and Preschoolwise by Gary Ezzo

To Train Up A Child by Michael Pearl

No Greater Joy (volumes 1-4) by Michael & Debi Pearl

Boys Should Be Boys by Meg Meeker

Revolutionary Parenting by George Barna

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker

Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Ted Tripp

Together at Home by Dean & Grace Merill (no longer in print)

Creative Correction by Lisa Welchel

Taking Care Of The Me In Mommy by Lisa Welchel

One Million Arrows by Julie Ferwerda

Missional Mom by Helen Lee

Plenty: 31 sips of joy for moms everywhere  by Kari Patterson 🙂

*Special thanks to Karen Zyp, Elisa Smith, Kimmee Auxier, Heather Holland, and Joy Dombrow for lots of helpful advice along this journey.

What nuggets have been most helpful for me along this journey of parenting? 

This was the question I asked myself during the weeks leading up to speaking at a MOPS (Moms of Preschoolers) group last week. After prayer and some chats with my mom, these are a few snippets from the five nuggets I shared. Perhaps they can be helpful to you too on your own sacred mundane journey through the preschool days. We’ll do 3 today and finish the last two on Friday. Thanks for reading.

1:: First things first.

Children follow the footprints of the steps we actually take, not the ones we talk about taking.

• Your relationship with God is the single most important relationship in your life. You are first and foremost a daughter of God and a disciple of Jesus Christ. Neglecting this soul care, this intimate time with God, will leave you empty, weary, haggard. Fill yourself up first, first thing in the morning, and you will find the strength, stamina, and wisdom to meet the demands of the day.  What this doesn’t mean: This doesn’t mean you drag your kids along to every Bible study and ministry event you can stuff into your schedule. Your relationship with God is first, but your church-life comes farther down. That said, we benefit our children when we teach them the priority of corporate worship. Not attending a local church gathering because it interferes with our child’s napping schedule isn’t necessarily the best thing. Seek God constantly (during those quiet moments in the morning) and ask Him for wisdom for those schedule conflicts and tricky decisions.

• Your relationship with your husband (if you are married) is the next most important relationship in your life.  Your marriage is sacred, and is meant to be a picture of Christ and the Church, a beautiful portrait of true love and sacrificial giving. Long after the children have moved away you will still have your man.  Often, we are guilty of bending over backwards to love on, nurture, and provide for our children while giving our husbands leftovers, emotionally and physically.  If your children’s sleep schedules are depriving your husband of his physical needs, make adjustments. (Read: They might not belong in bed with you!) Be mindful of making him a priority. The best thing you can give your children is a healthy marriage.

2:: Keep them with you. 

• This seems obvious, but in a culture which elevates (obsesses over?) experts and early childhood development, it’s easy to think that we need to outsource the spiritual development of our children. Nothing could be further from the truth. You are the BEST person to train, nurture, and disciple your child. No one else loves your child as much as you. No one knows them like you know them. No one can see into their heart and motives like you can. Take great caution before making decisions or enrollments that take your child out or your presence. There will be a day when outside sports, activities, tutors, and coaches will play a major role in their development. Now is not that time. YOU are the most important person.

• Do the hard training work so you actually enjoy being with your child. We’re embarrassed to admit it, but often we enroll small children in activities and ship them off places because we really want them out of our hair. It is exhausting to parent preschoolers. It’s hard. They aren’t adults. They whine. They’re always hungry. They don’t understand logic. They spill stuff. They are raw flesh that needs constant discipline and training. So, we’re faced with  a choice. We can let the frustration and irritation make us just get out of the house and go to Target or enroll them in whatever busyness we can to avoid the tantrums, or we can stay  home and engage with them and do the hard work of training them to be delightful. Sure, we’ll have bad days, but we must resist the temptation to escape the hard-work of parenting. Do it now, keep them with you, and the payoff will be huge.  If we love our children, we will be with them and discipline them: “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” Prov. 13:24

• The most significant teaching times are always “on the way.” Planned devotional times and daily Bible reading are great, but children learn best in real-life scenaries where you make everything a teachable moment and apply God’s truths to life. Deuteronomy 6:7 says, “You shall teaching [God’s Words] to your children, and you shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” You can’t do this if they’re not with you! When you’re driving, playing, eating, going to bed, getting up, constantly be talking about God and His love, truth, and wisdom. Keep them with you and all of life will be a teachable moment.

3:: Focus on the heart. 

• Sometimes when we toss around the idea of focusing on our kids hearts, it’s as if we’re implying that the outward actions don’t matter. They do. Children’s minds and spirits are not developed enough to understand profound abstract concepts, so we train their them through addressing their outward behavior, words, actions, etc. But, we must also be attuned to what is going on on the inside. In my opinion, moms are naturally able to do this, but we sometimes tune out this intuition because of outside pressure (more on that later). Outward actions are always because of an inward situation. The inward stuff is our goal–getting to the heart.

• We’re wise to take life with preschoolers SLOW. The only way we can truly see inside the hearts and minds of our children is if we live slow enough and have enough margin that we can take the time to really look into situations. If we are frantically carting our children around from one activity to another, we’ll likely just shove some fruitsnacks in their hands, tell them to be quiet, and settle for the right outward behavior. But when we keep them with us and go slow, we have time to really see, really listen, and really diagnose what’s going on inside. It’ll pay off.

{Whatever stage you’re in, how can you keep first things first today? How can you take responsibility for the spiritual growth and development of those in your care? How can you focus on the heart in ALL those relationships around you. And finally, how can we all go SLOW enough to really nurture, notice, and care for those souls God has entrusted to us. Thanks for reading.}

I closed the session in prayer and made my way back to my seat. There was nothing left to do now but sit back and pray and see how God would work. Those words were His, and although I am at all times capable of botching everything completely, I knew the truth of His Word was clear and just prayed that conviction would give way to life-change.

We split into small groups and I slipped quietly into mine.  The women began sharing what God had been ministering specifically to them during the session. Things they saw in a new light. Encouragement. New insights into Scripture. One woman sat quietly. Then after a long pause, finally shared:

“I feel like maybe God is convicting me of something. I love decorating my home. And lately I’ve been spending a lot of time and energy looking for just the right new items, and spending money finding just the right new things for my home. And I know God gave me the love for decorating, but I feel like maybe he’s speaking to me that I don’t need to spend this much money and energy on my home. I think maybe he’s saying not to spend any more money on new things but just to use what I have.”  She stopped, then looked up at us, waiting for a response.

I smiled encouragingly but stayed quiet, wanting to hear what the other women would say. Slowly, the responses started coming.

“Well … you shouldn’t feel guilty just because you have nice things. God has blessed you!”

“God loves beauty. He created beauty. So He wants us to have beautiful things.”

“I used to feel guilty for the nice things I have, but I just had to get rid of that false guilt and enjoy the life God has given me.”

“There has to be a balance. We can’t just go and never buy anything just because we want to be generous and help people.”

“God put us in America so we are to live like Americans.”

I saw the confusion cloud the original woman’s face. She nodded slowly, weighing their words with her thoughts. “Yeah … I don’t know.”

Eventually, another woman and I encouraged the woman, Whatever God is telling you to do, do it.

~

In Luke 11, Jesus is rebuking the Pharisees and lawyers saying, “You have taken away they key of knowledge. You did not enter yourselves, and you hindered those who were entering” (Luke 11:52). That verse scares me a bit — could we actually be guilty of hindering those who are receiving insight, knowledge, and conviction from God because we ourselves don’t want that same conviction?

Fast forward to another session of another event. I finished and slipped into my small group. One woman began, “You know, during the session I was just sitting there realizing that I used to have standards for our family, for the things we watch and what we allow into our home, in order to keep it Christ-centered and pure. But I’m sitting here realizing I’ve really let my guard down the last few years. Now I can’t believe the things I’m letting in. I think I need to talk to my family and we need to take back that standard of Christ-likeness and purity. Like maybe even throw some stuff away and maybe cancel some subscriptions. What do you guys think?”

I beamed, but waited for the other women’s responses. Even though they hadn’t felt the same conviction, all their comments were the same: If that’s what God is convicting you to do, DO IT! 

And in the end, even though she had some hard choices to make ahead, the woman who shared beamed with confidence: She had heard from the Holy Spirit, was encouraging to obey, and was obeying. There is no greater joy than that.

~

Here’s my point: Convictions are a precious thing. When the Holy Spirit of God is moving in someone’s heart and life, this is cause to rejoice! When we are pricked by that conviction, when God puts His finger on something, we are wise to take it seriously. All too often we can just talk each other out of obeying God, because we want to avoid guilt at all cost. Guilt is seen as bad, no matter what.

And yes, while there are certainly times that the enemy makes us feel guilty without warrant, when the Word of God is taught and conviction falls (“conviction” implies guilt!), the best thing we can do is simply come around each other and say, “Whatever it is, do it!”

Whatever God’s telling you, do it!

Whatever he’s convicting you about, obey it!

Whatever call He’s giving you, respond!

It may be completely different from what He’s convicting someone else about. It’s not a one-size-fits deal. But we are wise to err on the side of simply encouraging those around us to listen carefully and obey quickly.

Whatever it is, do it. 

~

Are you wrestling with an area of conviction today? Whatever it is, do it!

I pray you’d be encouraged today to listen carefully and respond quickly. Thanks so much for reading.

• 
• Both kids in carhartt hand-me-down overalls, digging for worms all day. Watching their imaginations unleashed as they dug, created worm farms, did surgery on injured worms (Dutch: “Just cut off the hurt part!”), and cooperated. Oh Lord, thank you for sunshine!! 
• Dirt.
• Sunshine.
• Lounging in a lawn chair in March? Yes, please!
• Sunshine.
• Time to rest.
• Did I mention sunshine??
• RENEW women. Love those ladies.
• April.
• Heidi’s curls, always falling perfectly around her face. She’s so oblivious. I’m in love with that girl!
• Blue skies.
• God’s Word that never changes.
• Resting in Him.
• Afternoon hanging with the neighbor. Love how God connects. 
• Other’s kindness.
• Night with amazing women of God, celebrating Elijah’s healing.
• Being ok with muddy floors, worms in the house, fingerprints on the french doors, and little piles of dirt on the counter. We only get to do this childhood thing once, people! We might as well enjoy it! 🙂
• Seder meal. Looking to Jesus.
• Fellowship.
• Others’ generosity.
• Hundreds–thousands?–of tiny buds springing up on limbs all over the yard. Signs of life! Life!
• That there is nothing, nothing that can separate us from the love of God.
• Good neighbors.
• Trying to be one.
• Gobbling homemade oatmeal-yogurt bars.
• Homemade turkey pot pie. Um…wow. So delicious.
•  Bare feet.
• Dirty hair pulled back.
• Yesterday’s yoga pants.
• Loving days like this.
• Tea.
• Peace.
• Discussions — arguments? — about whether a certain worm is a boy or a girl.
• That Dutch said this today: “Mommy, I don’t need  a pet snake anymore! I have a pet worm instead!” Oh I’m so grateful for this!!!
• Watching Heidi holding a handful of worms, carefully petting them and playing with them. Oh that girl. She’s amazing.
• Snuggly animals playing with the worms. Is there no end to the fun that worms can bring?? 
• Learning about life in the margins.
• The precious–priceless–perspective of what life is like outside this middle-class. Oh I need new eyes all the time! 
• Run in the sunshine! Oh my I’m out of shape but it still feels good to run in the sun!
• Running prayer circles around the Revival Building.
• Believing God for revival, HERE, in my heart.
• Dutch, sitting just gazing at his beloved worm (in a fishbowl with mud and sticks and grass), saying, “Oh mommy, I love having a pet. Sammy makes me so happy. I love my pet.” Oh the joys of a little boy and his muddy pet.
• That I KNOW my heavenly Father watches me with that same love. That He cherishes me, and He cherishes you.

May you know the love of God this weekend! Bask in it. He loves you so. Thanks for reading.