Category Archives: Book Lover

Yesterday was a day that’s been circled on my calendar for months.  The last day of teaching women’s Bible study, in fact the last day of Bible study for the year. We’ve been journeying through 1 Peter, and it has been wonderful, challenging, intense, rewarding, thrilling.  But it’s also kept me from doing, well, pretty much anything else.  For me, when I’m teaching it’s like I’m in the middle of finals week in school.  Even when you’re “done” preparing and studying, you still feel like you can’t really do anything else because you’re afraid all that stuff you’ve studied will somehow slide out of your brain.  So though you can’t sit around and study anymore, you’re not really free to do anything else whatsoever.  That’s me for pretty much 3 months, or at least the weeks I taught.

So anyway, yesterday I came home and celebrated my newfound freedom by… doing our taxes. Oddly enough I actually was excited to do it, just something other than reading 1 Peter! 🙂

I also finally allowed my brain the mental space to start reading another book.  This morning I began So Long Insecurity, by Beth Moore. Oh wow. You’re gonna get a LOT of blog posts about this book because it is hitting a nerve with me. Who knew I was so insecure?  I knew, from doing her studies, that I could already relate to Beth Moore on a lot of levels, and as she’s writing I find myself re-reading sentences thinking, “How’d she know that about me?!”  So more to come there.

We’re on day 4 of the Love Dare, with my friend. For those of you who’d like to follow along, here is the gist of days 1-4:

Day 1: Refuse to say anything negative to your spouse all day long.

Day 2: Now, continue with saying nothing negative, and do one nice, thoughtful act for your spouse.

Day 3: Buy something for your spouse, to show that you thinking of them during your day.

Day 4: Call or contact your spouse during their workday, for no other reason than to see how they are doing.

So at this point Jeff hasn’t been able to tell that I’m actually doing the Love Dare. 🙂  Hopefully that indicates that our marriage is good, not that my Love Dare actions are lousy (probably a bit of both).  At any rate, if you want to follow along, just write them down and start your 40 days whenever you like.

Next up I’ll post some thoughts from 1 Peter.  For now, the kids are up and the day needs to begin.  But I’m excited to have some mental space to do some more writing. Beware, the posts are coming!

While there are some tricky things to traveling with my little monkey-girl, one benefit is that I’m forced to spend the afternoon in my hotel room, from 2-4 or 5, in the dark with the curtains drawn, while she naps.  Neither of my kids are on-the-go nappers, which is probably partly due to the fact that I’m a Babywise fanatic, and partly due to genetics since I can’t sleep anywhere other than a bed in absolute darkness. So, we spend the afternoons in our hotel.  But I’ve read two books so far and am on the third and this is pure indulgence for me because reading is a luxury to mommies, as you know.  They’ve all been fantastic, so I thought I’d give you my list:

1. The Help by Kathryn Stockett (actually read this last month, fascinating look at civil rights in Mississippi in the 1960s. I loved this book.)

2. Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers (Sadly I usually don’t care much for Christian fiction, but this was a page-turner to be sure.)

3. Still Alice by Lisa Genova (I read this in one sitting during Heidi’s nap yesterday.  Powerful, sad, insight into Alzheimer’s disease. Made me think we should all read novels written from the perspective of those suffering from different diseases–totally changes our perspective and helps nurture compassion.)

4. Revolutionary Parenting by George Barna (non-fiction, fascinating statistical research of common ground of parents who have raised spiritual champions.  Super motivating, just what I needed.)

So…I haven’t actually eaten any Texas BBQ yet, but I’ve read some good books! 🙂  My favorite part of vacation is just that–taking the time to step back from the day-to-day of our life and get perspective. I can be so lost in the minutia and feel as if the whole world rested on my getting the laundry done or returning all my emails.   That’s what reading does for me–opens up the world and lets me peak inside.  Oh, all THAT is going on, Lord?!  Wow.

Good stuff.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some books to read.

Right now I’m finishing up the book Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. I know, I should have read it ages ago–it’s been all the rage.  Confession time–I don’t like reading Christian pop-culture books (ones that make it to Coscto).  I steer clear of hardbacks, anything purpose-driven, and though Max Lucado is a beloved brother in the Lord and I respect him greatly…it’s not for me.  Perhaps it’s my husband’s influence, but I prefer to read dead people.  Give me a cup of tea and AW Tozer, Andrew Murray, Henri Nouwen, or CS Lewis.  Mmm.  The one exception is John Piper, but he writes like he’s dead. 🙂  Anyway, so suffice it to say that I haven’t read Love & Respect but it was actually assigned to me in my Biblical Foundations of Family Ministry class.  So I dove in.

I must also confess that I don’t really like reading marriage books. I always feel like they stereotype men and women so ridiculously that Jeff and I both wind up saying, “I don’t feel like that!”   And I admit that when Eggerichs started out with the blue and pink number, explaining that women have pink earplugs and pink megaphones and men have blue earplugs and blue megaphones, I almost threw the book across the room.  But I smiled to myself and kept reading, and was blessed and challenged to say the least.

The premise of the book is obvious and yet transforming:  understanding that God for a reason commands husbands to love their wives and wives to respect (not love) their husbands.  The love thing is obvious.  We all talk about love, Jesus talked about love–love love love love.  But although we often talk about unconditional love being a requirement in marriage, we never talk about unconditional respect.  It sounds like an oxymoron.  We expect respect to be earned, and to a degree it is, the same way that love is earned. But love as a choice is not earned, and neither is respect as a choice.  Eggerichs’ point is that when we, as wives, give respect, husbands naturally respond by giving love.  The result–both needs are met.

The last 2/3 of the book has a section for men and a section for women.  The section for women uses the acronym C-H-A-I-R-S, (I admirably laid aside my dislike for acronyms), and I was C-H-A-L-L-E-N-G-E-D.  The six areas where Eggerichs says men need respect are:

• Conquest: his desire to work and achieve;
• Heirarchy: His desire to protect and provide;
• Authority: His desire to serve and to lead;
• Insight: His desire to analyze and counsel;
• Relationship: His desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship; and
• Sexuality: His desire for (surprise!) sexual intimacy.

Things that challenged me were realizing how often we as women “mother” our husbands.  We spend the entire day mothering our children, telling them to put things away, correcting their behavior, and providing for their physical needs, and then “Daddy” comes home and is treated like one of the children.  I was even convicted about how I often refer to “my boys”–Jeff and Dutch. I mean it in the most loving way, because they are my two most precious males, but it can also put Jeff on the same level as Dutch–a child to be mothered. Not exactly helpful to his masculinity.

I also was hugely challenged and blessed by this one litmus test question, a question I could ask at any time to determine if I am treating my husband with the respect he deserves:  Is this the way I would want my daughter-in-law treating Dutch someday? Ouch.  Ok I am the vicious Mama-bear with Dutch and the thought of some little floozy disrespecting him makes my claws and fangs appear.  Then how on earth can I think that it is ever ok to treat Jeff with less than absolute respect?

We think that Aretha Franklin, a woman, owns the Respect song, but the truth is that it was written by a man, two years earlier, as a song to sing to his wife.  Perhaps it really is the cry of men’s hearts. Perhaps a simple, “Thank you for working so hard for our family” or “I really respect the way you make decisions for us” or asking his opinion or advice on issues with the kids, finances, details of life.  Maybe God knew all along (!) that respect was really what men’s hearts so desperately needed. Perhaps we, as women, need to humble ourselves and in grace and faith begin to give our husbands the respect, not necessarily that they deserve at all times, but that God commands. I certainly don’t deserve Jeff’s love, but he always gives it.

Father, show us how to be strong women who are brave enough to humble ourselves and show unconditional respect. Show us how we’ve erred, sinned, acted in haughty arrogance and pride. Show us where we’ve considered ourselves more highly than we ought, where we’ve disrespected our husbands and refused to confess our wrong.  Help us, Lord, to glorify you with the way we treat our husbands.  In Jesus’ name. Amen.

I am a bibliophile to my core. Yes, that is, I am a Lover of Books.  My husband is a lover of books.  And now, amazingly, at 19-months our son is truly a lover of books.  Today, and this is not the first time, I went to get him up from his nap, and instead of reaching up his arms to be picked up, he pointed to a book that sat nearby, and made the sign for please. I handed it to him, and he proceeded to spend about 10 minutes, sitting in his crib, rubbing his sleepy eyes, reading a book, making elaborate motions, shouting out gibberish phrases, and clumsily turning the pages with his clammy little hands.  He hasn’t fallen far from the tree.  While I’ve always loved reading, especially for my spiritual growth, and have devoured CS Lewis, AW Tozer, Andrew Murray, Warren Wiersbe, and John Piper for some time, I have only recently allowed myself to enter the realm of fiction–which is somewhat ironic since I studied fiction writing in college, majored in English Literature, and considered getting a MFA in Fiction Writing.  I suppose I equated fiction reading with entertainment, which, like TV, was a waste of time.

BUT, oh how wrong I was!  When Dutch was born the very best piece of mothering advice I ever got was from my dear friend Grace, the mother of 4 boys now all under the age of 5 (!), who advised me that good, compelling fiction books would sustain you during otherwise-unbearable middle-of-the-night feedings.  So, my mother-in-law (another bibliophile, yes it runs in the family) stocked me up with 20-30 good fiction books, and Jeff gave me a little book light that clips onto the book.  I quickly mastered the ability to nurse and turn pages, and I read my way through dozens and dozens of amazing books, all in the middle of the night.

And now I won’t stop.  I still love my non-fiction, don’t get me wrong, and usually like to mix it up between novels and some Tozer and Piper to keep me on my toes.  But I must say, well-written, tasteful, subtly inspiring fiction is hard to beat.  So, I thought I’d give a little list of some of my favorites.  I have a really long list on Facebook, but this will do.  This is all in preparation for our LiveDifferent Challenge this week…stay tuned.  Here are just a few fiction recommendations in case you feel like exploring…

Best Series:

1. The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency (Alexander McCall Smith): 8 in all.  You’ll fall in love with Mma Ramotswe and her devoted husband Mr. J.L.B Matakoni.

2. The Rumpole series (John Mortimer): I sadly finished all of these during Dutch’s early months. I wish they went on forever! Rumple is an overweight aging junior British barrister with a wife he calls She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed.  Must read!

3. The Hawk and the Dove Trilogy: Convicting to the core.  Read on your knees.

4. Thorn in My Heart, Fair is the Rose, and Whence Came a Prince (Liz Curtis Higgs).  Great trilogy set in Scotland, a retold version of the Jacob, Rachel, and Leiah story.  Keep kleenex handy.

Best Author: (Meaning anything she writes is worth reading)

1. Rosamunde Pilcher (must drink tea while reading her.  The Shell Seekers is her most famous novel)

Other Goodies:

1. Year of Wonders: Incredible story of the plague in 1666.  Convicting, inspiring. Has a weird ending, but forget that part.

2. Ella Minnow Pea.  Ingenious! Must read!!

So there are a few fun ideas to get you started if you’re at all interested in dabbling in the fiction realm.  Some are light, some are heavy…I think we need a little of both in life.  Happy reading!