#6 Create a Family Purpose Statement {52bites}
“Mommy, do you think somebody will write a book about us after we’re in heaven?”
Startled, I looked up. Dutch had asked the question completely out of the blue, while stirring his bowl of soup at the dinner table. We have never talked about writing books about people after they’re in heaven, and of course if an adult asked this it would sound terribly egotistical. But out of the sweet mouth of an innocent and inquisitive preschooler, it was honest, tender, profound. I simply smiled and shook my head.
“I don’t think so, babe.”
I could tell he continued to think, and let me tell you — I did too.
Of course this question came on the heels of one of the most blessed retreat experiences I’ve ever had. Speaking and mommying simultaneously was exhausting and rewarding all at once. It gave me a taste–a gloriously delicious taste–of family ministry.
No, our goal is not to have a book written about us. I’d venture to guess that’s not your goal either. But … doesn’t it make you think?
What WILL be the lasting impact of your family on this world?
Will you have inspired others to radical faith? To sacrificial generosity? To crazy love? To selfless service? Will you have comforted others? Taught others? Served others? Will you leave the world with a few more filled bellies? Will a few more people spend eternity with Christ because you and your family made your moments count?
I can’t get Dutch’s sort-of-silly question out of my mind.
What will our legacy be?
What will your legacy be?
If a book WAS written about our family what would it say?
If a book was written about your family what would it say?
And of course, in God’s impeccable timing, it is the week to draft up our Family Mission Statements. There never was a more perfect time.
Tsh outlines the process beautifully here. Or, you can go here to use an online guide to build your statement. I’d really recommend you carve out some time this week, with your spouse, and pencil out a family mission statement that will set your course. No one can live your family’s mission. There’s no right or wrong, good or bad. Seek the mission that glorifies God through the unique giftings and callings God has given you. But do it. (Even if you don’t have time this week, put a date on the calendar.)
I highly doubt any books will be written about the motley Patterson crew. But by His grace I pray we live out the unique way He intends for us to bring Him glory in this life. Here’s a glimpse of how we believe we are to do just that … {When you do yours, will you share a glimpse? Thanks for reading.}
Patterson Mission Statement:
As a family we seek to glorify God by daily embodying the gospel in intentional ways: Through generosity, simplicity, faithfulness, joy, humility, grace, care, and thoughtful expressions of love.
- We will nurture our spiritual growth and love relationship with Jesus by making personal worship, prayer, and Bible times of primary importance.
- We will be careful and intentional about time commitments, guarding family evenings and date nights while inviting others freely into our lives.
- We will grow in sacrificial giving by increasing the money given away to international causes and missions while spending less on ourselves each year.
- We will take care of our bodies, souls, and spirits by staying physically fit, nourishing our bodies with real food, and carving out regular time for rest, renewal, relaxation, and recreation.
- We will seek to make every moment an opportunity to teach, shape, nurture, and inspire our children to be Christ-followers. We will seek to make the gospel attractive by living in grace, joy, and freedom. We will seek to instruct and shape their hearts rather than merely modify their behavior. We will seek to motivate them by love and grace rather than pride and fear. We will praise their obedience, humility, generosity, godly ambition and courage.
- We will measure “success” by whether our and our children’s hearts are being increasingly conformed to the image of Christ.
When you're desperate for grace …
“So, you have someone who will watch Heidi while you speak?” I thought about this for a moment. Yes, now that you say it that would be the logical thing to do. But no, I don’t have someone. I suppose she’ll just be with me while I speak…
Hmmm…
It’s true that sometimes I agree to things before I’ve thought through exactly how it’ll all work out. Call it faith or call it stupidity, but the way I see it either God will come through mightily or I’ll learn a humbling and valuable lesson. Either way is fine.
So I took Heidi with me this past weekend as I spoke to a group of college women from Western Oregon University. To be fair, I did figure that in a group of 25 college women someone would be willing to help me, right?
We left on Friday afternoon. Heidi took her responsibility as “mommy’s helper” very seriously. She had her Dora backpack, her pink pillow, her purple sunglasses (I think she thought the “beach” would be sunny?) and a brand-new Tinkerbell flashlight we’d given her for the occasion (Thank you, Meg Forest!). Then, just before we got in the car for our 3+ hour car-ride we pulled out the grand prize. A pink “laptop” (“just like Mommy’s” –Thank you, Nissa!) that we’d saved for a special occasion. She clutched it tight in her arms, held her head up high, and marched out to the car ready for the long Fri-Mon weekend in Yachats.
By Eddyville she was fast asleep.
Of course the reality of having a 2-year-old with me was far different than the dream. There were two of us women and two small children sleeping in one bed (!), very little sleep, and a handful of other challenges that are just bound to happen (Oops forgot a towel, oops forgot soap, oops the bathtub doesn’t plug so Heidi can’t take a bath, oops brought the wrong cellphone charger so my phone is dead, oops there’s no CD player to play the songs I brought, oops I guess it’s that time of the month (!), oops had no sleep…).
I will confess I got up Saturday morning and typed out a txt to Jeff: “Help! I can’t do this…on the verge of tears, we need to think of something.”
But my cellphone died before I could send it. 🙂
God won’t let me quit even when I try.
Did I forget that when I’m weak then I am strong? (2 Cor. 12:10)
Did I forget that His power works best in my weakness? (2 Cor. 12:9)
Never before have I more experienced the truth of this that I did this past weekend. Heidi sat with me during all five sessions. She was at my side every waking moment. My normal times of stealing away to be alone and prepare just didn’t happen. I couldn’t rely on my own ability to stay calm, cool, collected, rested. Perhaps for the first time (?) in retreat-speaking I was truly and completely throwing myself at the mercy of God and resting in grace. Providence again….
Our topic was GRACE.
The gospel of grace is what changes us from the inside out.
I’m not sure if anyone learned it more than me. And truly, again by His grace, it was probably one of if not the most powerful retreat times I’ve ever had. It. Was. HIM.
Again, the gentle and kind reminder: Why do we so often stick to the known, the comfortable, that which is in our control when there is grace and mercy for the desperate. There’s filling for the hungry. Satisfaction for the needy. Strength for the weak.
Do I let myself get weak? Get hungry? Get weak?
Sisters, where are you weak? Where are you desperate? Where are you hungry? Where are you needy?
That is exactly where God desires to pour out His power and grace.
For me, that Saturday morning God prevented my text message from going through. Kept me from throwing in the towel. Made me wait just a little bit longer.
Where do you need to wait just a little bit longer for His grace to be revealed?
Joy comes in the morning. Hold on just a little bit longer. Grace is on the way…
{The other JOY of being needy was the precious college women who DID step up and help me in such lovely ways. Jill, Heidi is in love with you! Thank you, WOU ladies for YOUR grace toward me. And thanks, all, for reading.}!
Savoring these short days that feel so long.
I just tip-toed out of Heidi’s room, her sleeping soundly, my heart full.
After five years of diligently following the “let-your-children-fall-asleep-on-their-own” rule, I have just now indulged in a precious afternoon ritual: I lay down next to Heidi as she falls asleep. Yes, she knows how to go to sleep on her own and does so at night, but I recently realized I probably only have months left in the days of napping and since she has never known alone-time with Mommy (as Dutch did when he was an only child) I go ahead and let her “keep me” in bed.
(Every night in bed she wraps her arms around my neck and says, “I’m gon’ keep you forevah!”)
So now, at nap, she curls up under her quilt, puts her right thumb in her mouth and wraps her left arm around my neck. I nuzzle my face down into her neck, her curls against my cheek, and inhale her apple-sweetness and thank God for my girl.
These have become some of our sweetest times.
It’s probably only 10-minutes that I’m there, but it’s become the sweetest time of prayer, of savoring these short days of motherhood that sometimes feel so long. Yes, our days feel long sometimes. But I will blink and she’ll be gone. Driving. Married. I will blink, I know, and I’ll wish I’d held her longer.
I’m oh-so-glad for the fall-asleep-on-their-own method. I’m thankful for consistent discipline, for helpful parenting books and blogs. And today I’m thankful that when we establish consistency it makes it that much sweeter when we throw it all to the wind and fall asleep together.
We wouldn’t know grace if there hadn’t been the law.
The Father ran to His prodigal son because it wasn’t time for a spank, it was time for extravagant love, displayed through a hug, a coat, a party.
Do I throw enough parties for my kids? Celebrate them? Run to them?
Be sure to pepper our days with wild undeserved grace?
And I don’t mean stuff, I mean the wild grace of our presence. The grace of falling asleep in her arms, of an hour spent repairing a Lego Starfighter so Jedi Dutch can fly again?
I’m learning.
{How can you show extravagant grace by giving your presence to someone today? Perhaps the person who least deserves it is the best place to start. 🙂 Thanks for reading…}
My own Christmas boy.
“When are you due?
“Christmas Day.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
—
That’s how almost every conversation would go. When someone heard I was due Christmas day they inevitable said how sorry they were for me. Then, usually a story would come, about their cousin Jake or Aunt Martha who had a Christmas birthday and hated it. They’d finish by giving me tips on how to make sure all the presents didn’t get blurred together. (By all means use different kinds of wrapping paper!) I usually waited quietly until they were done then simply responded, “I’m actually glad I have that due date.”
And it’s true. I was glad. And, I’ll admit, I prayed that God would let Dutch be born on December 21st so that I’d have a day or two at home before my whole family came over for Christmas. On the 19th my doctor checked me: “No progress at all. This baby isn’t coming anytime soon.” The 20th my water broke, and sure enough, on December 21st we welcomed Dutch William Patterson into our world.
We’ve never been the same since.
The weeks of Advent 2006 broke me in two. I’d never before identified so much with Mary. With the emotions, the waiting, the anticipation, the tears. Even though my soon-born son was not the Son of God, I still had a strong sense that my Christmas son was special, destined, called for something great.
I still believe he is.
He came on the very day I’d asked my gracious Father for. He came with a spirit stronger than any I’d ever known — certainly stronger than my own. He broke me, brought me to my knees, made me weep and made me melt. And strangely, the nearness of his birthday to Christ’s only reminds me, every single year, of the nearness of my boy to the Father’s Heart.
I know He has plans for my son.
Every mother knows this, does she not? As Mary pondered the angel’s words and treasured them in her heart, so every mother sees glimpses of and hears from God the destiny on her child’s life, and she believes God for that destiny. Trains Him for that destiny. Pours out her soul, her life, so that that child will be raised as an arrow in the hands of our God.
Isn’t that what mothering is?
I have never cried over any boy as much as I’ve cried over Dutch. God has used this man-child to expose my areas of weakness, of insecurity, of people-pleasing. He’s toughened me, strengthened me, pounded into my mind and heart what must be done to love, train, and disciple this boy. He’s sharp and he’s strong — an arrow that must be pointed in the right direction.
{And today, Dutch, on your 5th birthday, I want to celebrate how I already see you growing into the man-child God wants you to be. I see how you yield, how you give to your sister, how you’re sensitive to the things of God, how you think, question, wonder. I see how you intentionally skip over the “yucky” pages in your Star Wars book. I see how you told me we shouldn’t watch a certain kids’ movie anymore because it had magic and spells in it. I see tremendous evidence of the work of the Spirit in your life, my son, and it makes my heart soar.
I see how you’re brave, and I also see how you’re tender, I see how you wobble-walk, wanting to be a courageous man (a Jedi Master!) but also wanting me to snuggle you under the covers when you’re cold. I see you slaying storm-troopers but wanting me, sometimes, to carry you up the stairs.
That’s just right. I think you’re right on track.
I’m so glad you were born near Christmas. There will always be something special about your birth … and about you.}
I cannot imagine all that Mary felt. But I know what it’s like to swell in late December and birth with tears of joy. What it’s like to wonder a little at the special creation that lies in our arms and weep, knowing there’s a weightiness about our boy.
We all who raise a child know this, yes? Bless you, fellow-parent, who cry with the joy-sorrow of raising a man or woman of God. I pray for strength for us all to persevere! And how great is the gift of grace that was given to us in the birth of that baby boy — Jesus Christ, Emmanuel …
God with us.
{Happy birthday, Dutch. And thank you all for reading.}
(A few pics for family reminiscing…)
The Gift of Whatever
I had gotten up early. Everything was ready. The baby Jesus doll was hidden. Gifts were wrapped. Cinnamon rolls were formed, rising, ready to bake.
My 4-year-old son was the first to rise. He shuffled downstairs, carrying his new Lightning McQueen car he’d received for his birthday just four days prior.
I bound over, excited. “Good morning, sweetie! Do you know what today is?”
He rubs his eyes, scrunches up his face. “Can I play with my toys?”
I continue: “It’s Christmas! Isn’t that exciting?! And now you get to look for baby Jesus!”
He runs over to the couch, hides his face in a pillow. “I don’t want to look! I want to play!”
“But … after we find baby Jesus we can open your presents!” My mind races. We’re supposed to be at my parents’ house at 10am. We still have to do baby Jesus, open gifts, and deliver hot cinnamon rolls to a family down the road.
My son starts to cry. “I don’t want to open presents! I just want to play with my toys.”
This is unbelievable. I shake my head. What child doesn’t want to open presents? Why is my family always the one where nothing goes right?
I promise him there are more toys to be had, and we finally get him to the tree. He opens a box, a gift sent from a relative. It’s a package of socks. His face falls. Now I’m irate. Really? Come on people, I’m trying to get my kid excited about Christmas and you gave him socks for crying out loud!
“Mommy, I don’t want socks I just want to play with my toys!” Now he’s crying and I’m on the verge.
Eventually we make it out the door. My dear husband, wanting to cheer me up, suggests we stop at Starbucks. He runs in while I stay in the car. It takes him another fifteen minutes because the line is so long. Seriously, people, it’s Christmas! Go home and be with your families! By now we’re an hour late and it shows on my face. I know I’m being ridiculous, but I’m on the verge of tears. Why am I so irrational? It’s Christmas!
Eventually, we make it to the family’s house to deliver the cinnamon rolls. We’ve been doing the Twelve Days of Christmas and it’s our day to reveal ourselves. Their whole family comes out on the porch, all hugs and laughter and genuine joy. I notice they’re all still in jammies. I ask about their day, what their plans are, still struck by how happy they all are.
The mom smiles and responds, “Oh we just relax, stay in our jammies all day. We play games or do something fun. You know, whatever.”
Whatever.
That’s what I’m missing.
The gift of whatever. When we give our family our expectations, everybody loses. We wrap up our ideals, our dreams of the “perfect” day, and then expect them to perform according to our plan. When they don’t, we’re frustrated. All in the name of the most wonderful time of the year.
What if, instead of giving expectations, we gave the gift of whatever. If we decided that whatever happened on a holiday, we’d be happy and thankful. That the only expectations we had were for ourselves, expecting ourselves to be kind. Expecting ourselves to be gracious. Expecting ourselves to be willing to go with whatever.
The gift of whatever might be just what our families need. A fun, flexible holiday where the only thing that’s set in stone is the certainty of joy.
{Over with my favorite Frugalistas today at FrugalLivingNW. Come join us! I pray you have the gift of whatever under your tree this year … Thanks for reading…}
F is for Forgetting the one behind "doing it all"
In all our “how do you do it all” discussion I failed to mention the #1 earthly reason why anything is what it is:
My man.
- My man is the one giving the kids a bath right now while I type this post.
- My man is the one who will read them their Bible story, pray with them, and tuck them into bed.
- My man was the one, 4 1/2 years ago, who bought this domain, started this blog, assuaged my fears, and taught me how to click “publish.” I’ll never stop thanking him.
- My man is the one who forced me to go to the Faith and Culture Writer’s Conference and made me take an appointment with a book agent … which is why there now is a book. My man.
- My man is the one who orders me new power cords when mine breaks, and rushes it with 1 day shipping.
- My man is the one who fixes all things electronic — for everyone.
- My man is the one who takes the kids on weekends when I speak or travel.
- My man is the one who does “Daddy Day” every Friday so I can write or read or just catch my breath and take a nap.
- My man is the one reads everything in the world and keeps me halfway up-to-date on life and news and happenings.
- My man is the one who lights a fire every morning so we’ll be warm.
- My man is the one takes out the trash, splits wood, and unloads the dishwasher.
- My man is the one who makes me keep writing when I’m convinced it’s all garbage and want to quit.
- My man is the one who holds me when I’m crying, and reminds me of the gem inside — Christ in us, the hope of glory.
And last: a bit of fun for our Friday … Heidi’s most recent remarks, while I changed her clothes for bedtime: “Mommy, nex’ time can you please give me a peepee in front like bruh-bruh?” Not sure what is more disturbing: The fact that she wants to be a boy or the fact that she thinks I created their bodies.
Happy Friday! Be sure to say “Thank you!” to whoever helps you “do it all.” Bless you, my friends. Thank you for reading.
"How do you do it all?" (3)
You don’t!
I love this quote from Jared Wilson,
“We all know we could use more Bible, but we often forget we could use less of everything else.”
Isn’t it true that making time for what matters is often simply a matter of what we choose not to do. So, here are a few of the things I purposefully don’t do. NOTE: None of these things are bad, they might be the very things you’re trying to make more time for! That’s great! But for me, these are the things I limit, in order to make time for writing and playing.
- I don’t spend much time on Facebook. (A couple minutes at the most, every few days.)
- I don’t surf the web.
- I don’t watch TV.
- I don’t cook elaborate meals.
- I don’t have a spotless house. (love that muddy footprints pic above. That’s my house!)
- I hardly ever shop. (I do a monthly Winco trip/Trader Joe’s trip and use Amazon Prime (free shipping) for gifts, books, etc. Other than that we just don’t shop much.)
- I don’t read lots of blogs. (I know, awful! I totally don’t blame you if you don’t have time to read mine. I consistently read a few, and periodically check others of people I love.)
The secret to doing it all is just NOT doing it all, right?
Living purposefully. Choose wisely. Laying out our days before the Father and asking Him what He would want for our minutes, our moments. We’ll only learn how to “do” when we learn how to “don’t.”
Now, am I 100% satisfied with my daily routine? Of course not! Always in progress. There’s another list of things I DON’T do but this isn’t on purpose, it’s just the things that inevitably slip to the wayside. I really would love to make more time for these things … perhaps you can help by sharing YOUR ideas? I don’t …
- Exercise. That is, during the winter. I love running when the weather is nice. But how to schedule in winter-time exercise? It’s just not working right now. Would love to fit this in.
- Thoughtful gift-buying. I do love buying people gifts but often don’t take the time to really invest in something special. I’d also love to hand-make gifts … Would love to take more time for this.
- Service-volunteering. My “ministry” is heavy on teaching, leading, mothering, etc. but lower on the down-and-dirty service type things. Again, this is a season, but would love to make more time for serving in those ways.
- Decorating. I kinda gave up on house-decorating. In some ways it’s freeing, and I actually love our simple lifestyle, but in some ways it’d be fun to spend more time sprucing things up. It’s just not the season. Someday.
So… What are the things that you purposefully DON’T do and the things perhaps you don’t but really wish you did … Thoughts?
*For the record, no I don’t have a housekeeper or anything like that. BUT, if I became extra busy with a book or speaking engagements (or if I worked full-time like many of you!) this would be the first thing I’d do. Paying a hardworking, honest housekeeper can be an excellent use of finances, if you have the ability, but that’s another topic. For now, I don’t have one.
And by all means I don’t have it all figured out! Would you share with me your own “do it all” and “don’t do it all” tips and thoughts? I would love to hear!
{Thank you for sharing, reading, and giving me moments of your precious time! I take your time seriously and pray not to waste it! By grace, Kari}
PS, Keepin’ it real: Last night before my mentor meeting I felt totally overwhelmed, like I hadn’t had enough time to prepare for the girls, we also had community group in our home while I was gone, and I felt bad for leaving them all because I had two commitments at the same time, I tucked my children into bed at 9:30PM (!), and this morning I woke up to dirty dishes in the icy cold water in the sink. Ha — see when we juggle many balls we inevitably drop them all on the floor and it’s ok! 🙂
"How do you do it all?" (2)
Yesterday we talked about the oft-thought (though not oft-spoken) question, “How do you do it all?” We looked at the comparison trap, but also at how helpful it can be to really share the nitty-gritty how-we-git-er-done details of daily life. As promised, my thoughts: First, very simply — call it good, bad, hugely helpful or completely inapplicable, here’s the nitty gritty of what I do:
- Blogging/Writing/Speaking: I “work” from about 2-4 each day and then sometimes on Fridays. Heidi naps and Dutch has “quiet play time” during this time, so I curl up on the couch and write. It’s not a long enough chunk of time to really work on the book, but I can usually write a post, or at least get caught up on email, plan my study-times, etc. Jeff is off on Fridays, so I try to work Fridays until 4pm. This gives me a longer stretch of time to study or work on the book. For the past few months, though, these Fridays have been hard to come by. Hence the previously-mentioned tears. 🙂 Come January they’ll be reinstated for good. {Note: This is the same habit I’ve had for 5 years, through seminary, etc. It’s morphed with infant sleeping-schedules but always the general afternoon was mommy/quiet time.}
- Quiet times: In the mornings I need Jesus! Again, this is harder now that the kids share a room and get up earlier, and since it’s too cold in their rooms for them to play. So we let them sit in front of the fire and read books or play quietly until 8am. From 6-8am is my own time. Bible, prayer, sometimes shower. Yes, sometimes they’re crawling on me, or asking for a snack, but as they become more independent (can get an apple from the fridge, for example) this is getting easier. {Note: No, there’s no rule that quiet time comes in the morning, but I just have to have to set my compass straight on Jesus first thing or the rest day will be off-course!}
- Reading: Reading is sacred! I save reading for evenings. I try not to blog or write at night since the screen-light isn’t good right before bed (although right now it’s 9pm so go figure), but reading is the perfect wind-down activity. Lately Jeff and I have been reading together at night, even better! {Note: Whether or not you like to read, make time to feed your soul with good input!}
- Meetings & playdates: I really try not to overdo these. Because I’m an introvert (who loves people!) I have to have plenty of alone/downtime or else I get cranky. 🙂 So I’ll have 1-2 meetings and/or playdates a week. Since my kids are in “church” twice a week and we have two community groups with kids each week, this gives them 5-6 interactions with other children (plenty!) and ensures I don’t lose my mind. If I need to meet in quiet, without kids, I’ll just do it during that 2-4 rest time in my home. My kids also cooperate and behave much better when we have plenty of time just us, at home.
- Hubby & Kids: Thursday is date-night with my man. We only go out once a month, but since we’re both homebodies we prefer staying in anyway. This is usually popcorn, scrabble, a movie, or a good book together. Usually just time to talk uninterrupted is the best part. For my kids, because I’m a stickler on my “morning time” and “rest time” space, I really do try to give them my undivided attention the other times of the day. We play, do school, clean together, etc. during the mornings and late afternoons. I don’t check my email or facebook during those other times (unless they’re really engrossed in something or playing together and have forgotten about me. 🙂
- Housework/Cooking: I list this last because it is last! No, I do housework and cook but not elaborately. I clean a bit each day, mid-morning, and have the kids with me or helping. We do laundry together. We make beds together, straighten up together, clean out the fridge together. Today we sorted all the toys together, giving some away. I cook 3-4 times a week, between 4-5:30 and then rely on leftovers the other nights. {Note: Perhaps it’s pathetic how simple our meals are but it’s a HUGE time-saver and my hubby & kids are happy so it works. Today I made potato vegetable soup at noon and ate it for lunch and dinner. Pathetic? Maybe. But it was yummy, filled our tummies, and gave me an afternoon free!}
- Involve the kids! I do almost everything I do with my kids. Sure it takes twice as long, and sometimes I want to tear my hair out, but I really do believe it will pay off in the long run. This year Dutch wrote our Christmas card front, Heidi colored the back, they both helped with stamps. I addressed them while they did that part. We clean up together. Dutch has chores. Even when I “work” I always sit near where Dutch is playing because then he feels like we’re together. Again, it’s not perfect, but I do try whenever possible to involve them in whatever I’m doing.
- Always have tea in the cupboard and cookies in the freezer. Instant hospitality. 🙂
- Always go to bed with a clean kitchen. Nothing worse than waking up to dirty dishes soaking in icy cold water. And, it’s SO much easier to keep a house clean than try to overcome a mountainous mess, right? My friend says just always run the dishwasher at night and always unload it first thing the morn. Another said she wipes down the counter and toilet every time she uses the bathroom. Little habits.
- Establish the five things that fill your cup.
- Work together. I am so blessed to have friends who help a sister out when she’s in need. Friends who pick up carrots and green beans at Costco and drop them on my front porch, friends who watch my kids for 45 minutes while I’m at a baptism, friends who exchange babysitting for datenights. I receive way more than I give, but I am THANKFUL. Figure out some “live life together” friends and help a sister out! There’s no reason why we ALL need to go to Costco every week!
- Ditch the people-pleasing. Certainly not cured of this one, but truly have found that we can get SO much more real stuff accomplished when we quit being paralyzed by trying to impress. My house, kids, and appearance are not perfect. Surprise! 🙂 I can’t tell you how much more productive I am when I remember Who it’s all for. And you know what God sees when He looks at us? He sees Jesus. We are perfect in Christ and being perfected in Christ. As we strive to live lives of wholeness, peace, order, beauty, we do so simply so that we can reflect our glorious God, amen??
"How do you do it all?" (1)
“How do you do it all?”
Apparently I wasn’t the only one with this question in my mind. The well-known speaker and author was live, taking questions from women in the audience on spiritual-life. But interestingly, by far the most common question had nothing to do with “spiritual” life at all. It was this, the echo of my own heart:
“How do you do it all? Raise kids, keep house, be a wife, write books, travel, speak?”
I leaned forward in my chair. What would she say? I must admit I was weary myself. While not even in the same realm as this popular speaker, I was in the midst of a full schedule, attempting to write a book, keep up a blog, move households, and be a wife-mom-friend-daughter-neighbor-disciple-ah! Yes, Mrs. Mom-Wife-Author-Blogger-Speaker, pray tell: How do you do it all?”
Can I just be terribly honest? I felt a little disappointed at the answer. She said something about finding that quiet space in her own heart so that she could be still amidst the chaos and hear from God, in order to write.
Not knocking this. I totally agree. Quieting our hearts to hear from God–yes. But perhaps I wasn’t the only one who wanted to know really, no, really, how on earth do you find the minutes in the day to actually, physically do those things?
You know what I mean?
Another honest confession: I actually cried right after that. I really wanted a fellow mom-writer to share how she really does it. Like, um, who is watching your kids while you’re on TV? You know, those kind of questions. Does she have a housekeeper? Does her mom help her? During what time of day does she write? Would you, just for a moment, open up the windows of your house and let me have a peek at the nitty-gritty?
Hence this post. Now please understand: For goodness sake I’m not saying that I’m some big author-speaker-lady. I have a teeny tiny blog and am struggling to string words together into a book. You who know me well are not impressed. But at least five times this past week I’ve heard, “I don’t know how you do it all…” And because whether we’re writers or volunteers or full-time career-women or full-time moms, we’re all attempting to “do it all” in some capacity. So let’s talk about this. Two things:
1. Beware the comparison-trap. Oh, oh friends — aren’t we so tempted to compare? The truth is we’re all doing a lot. Some of us work more, some have special needs children (I think I qualify, Dutch is quite a character!), some of us homeschool, some of us spend hours quietly counseling others, some volunteer at their children’s schools, some knit shawls by the dozen for the sick and needy, some devote much time to housework because we know it blesses our husbands, some make meals to take to others — we’re all “doing it all” in some capacity, it’s just that some things are more visible than others. We’re each simply responsible for the “good works prepared advance that we should in walk in.” (Eph 2:10) Our own specially-prepared works. That’s all we need attempt.
That said, it can be helpful to share the ways we “do all” we’re supposed to in our own life. Practical things. I personally found it hugely helpful when Angela Davis wrote about her laundry routine on FrugalLivingNW (and shared that she pays someone $5/week to run her loads!). So, take it or leave it, tomorrow I’ll share my own personal “do it all” thoughts. Whether you’re trying to blog or volunteer or make time to read your Bible, perhaps this can help.
{And please, consider sharing with us your own helpful “do it all” tips. I’d love to glean wisdom from the nitty-gritty in your life! I’ll see you tomorrow … thanks for reading.}
F is for Folding {Coolest Homemade Advent Calendar!}
Any other Advent Delinquents out there? Yes, yesterday was December first and we should have been all prepared by then, but please tell me someone else out there got up yesterday morning, looked at the calendar, and thought, Oops! Should have figured it out by now!
I wanted to do the Jesse Tree devotional, but I also wanted some sort of Advent calendar with little pockets so I could tuck little fun activities into each day. However, it was December 1st, I didn’t want to go shopping or spend any money, and, let me make this clear:
I am not crafty.
Hmm… no materials on hand and I’m not crafty. Not sure how an advent calendar can materialize out of nothing. Then this! At 3:45pm, I found this Origami advent calendar online and at 4:29pm it was finished! That’s right, under 45 minutes start to finish. Plus, I didn’t have any festive scrapbook paper, but even with just ho-hum paper it still turned out great! 
Supplies: 3 pieces of scrapbook paper and some glue. That’s it!
All the instructions are here. (I used a hot-glue gun to make it go fast with no dry-time.) This is a truly fun and truly easy way to make an advent calendar. Now, we can do our Jesse Tree devotional, and each day flip down the day’s tab and pull out the fun activity for the day. If you too are an Advent Delinquent, start today and get going on your fun Advent activities!
Happy Folding!
{And Happy Friday! Thanks for reading.}