My Wall
This last week in our Community Group, we talked about how in the book of Nehemiah (which we’ve been studying at church), it only took 52 days to build the wall of Jerusalem, but another 12 years to reinstate true worship of God. Jeff asked the question: What wall has God built in your life? And what is the longer project that He’s at work at? Meaning, what is the “thing” you sense Him wanting to do, that perhaps He’s begun, through some concrete step, but that He’s continuing to work at in your life. People had some great things to share. I knew that mine was prayer. God’s very clearly done some concrete work in my life lately in the area of prayer–mostly just getting me up and out of bed in the morning and then starting this Monday morning prayer group. But that was a definitely start. Along with that, strangely enough, I very clearly sensed He wanted me to pray about… my wall.
Yes, a wall. The wall for Nehemiah was a physical project, by faith, that rallied the people of Jerusalem and marked the first step toward revival and reinstating true worship of God. For us, the wall is a 4-foot stone retaining wall that we need to dig out and build in our backyard, so that a large portion of our yard space is usable. Yeah, I know it seems really ridiculous that I’m spiritualizing our landscape, but I’m telling you this is the real thing.
In natural Kari-fashion, I first faced this wall dilemma with the classic, “Forget it. We don’t need a wall, it’s too expensive.” But the more we looked at our backyard, and the fact that half of it was unusable because of this dirt slope, the more it seemed like a smart thing to do. Plus Jeff said it was a must. So I priced out retaining wall stone and about had a heart-attack. Apparently it was either Dutch went to college OR we built a retaining wall. Grr.
Then, so clearly I sensed that God wanted me to pray for Him to provide a wall. That He would build the wall. He obviously provided for Nehemiah, giving him 12 years paid-leave from his job, supplies for the work, workers, provision, you name it. But I mean, that was for God’s city, this was just for our backyard. It seemed a little arrogant to think that God should build us a wall. Then again, it’s more arrogant to think we can build it without Him…
So I prayed. A lot. Even in our Community Group Tuesday night, when we went around and shared what we sensed God wanting us to pray about, I shared this. Even though it sounded ridiculous while everyone else was praying for unsaved loved ones and orphaned children (I prayed for them too!). But I still felt like I was supposed to share this and pray this.
So yesterday, the day after praying about this in Community Group, as I mentioned before, I finally sat down and did our taxes. To my utter astonishment, the way the cards fell for us (clergy tax laws, having a 2nd child, tuition, buying a house), we got a totally unexpected, and totally huge (in my estimation) tax refund. Let’s just say plenty to build a retaining wall. It seemed too good to be true so I called our business pastor, talked through all the numbers with him to check myself, and sure enough–there you have it. As Nehemiah’s jaw must have dropped to have a pagan king supply him with all the finances and materials he needed to build the wall of Jerusalem, my jaw seriously dropped at the Federal Government giving us back a fistful of money so we can build our retaining wall. God, I’m listening. You are in charge.
So yes, it’s just a wall. It isn’t surrounding God’s Holy City Jerusalem, but you better believe every time I look at that wall I will think of my God, who uses every situation as a means of showing us His infinite power. And, I pray that that wall is the beginning of something far more significant–of an ever-increasing life of repentance, praise and worship to my God–just as it was in Nehemiah’s day. And, like Nehemiah–the wall still has to be built! The provision is there, but we still have a lot of work to do! Hopefully it will take less than 52 days, but it might be close. He had a lot of workers to help him… Anyone have some free Saturdays?
I love this adventure of a life with God. Thanks for reading about My Wall.
New Year's Resolution: The 1950s Housewife
In our marriage, and probably in every marriage, it seems that we cruise a while, then need a course-correction, cruise a while, then course-correction. The course-correction (aka conflict), usually occurs when we’re tired, in transition, stressed, etc. But usually it has a great outcome–it brings issues to a head and causes us to talk through, pray, brainstorm, and be more intentional in our relationship.
Jeff and I have recently had a course correction, and so we’ve related it to our New Year’s Resolutions. Actually, my resolutions aren’t things he’s asked me to do, just this sort of idea that’s been brewing in my brain for a while now.
New Year’s Resolution: I think this is the year I am finally going to acknowledge that I am a wife and stay-at-home mom. Wow, aren’t you impressed by my ambition? Last year my new year’s resolution was to write a book. This year? Acknowledge I’m a wife and stay-at-home mom. So what do I mean by this?
Not to beat a dead horse, but again–our life has been transition up until this point. Truthfully (and this is probably because of pride), I always identified with the seminary/ministry stuff of our life a lot more than the wife/mother stuff of our life. Because of that–often my husband, children, and even house…can get leftovers. I think in fact I probably was even prideful about the fact that I was too busy in seminary & ministry things to spend much time in domestic matters. I’m sure I’ve looked down my nose at moms who busy themselves with reading parenting magazines, clipping coupons (I’ve eaten my words there!), obsessing over cloth or disposable diapers. The result: We rarely sit down as a family and eat dinner together, my son often goes to bed without brushing his teeth, the house is usually a mess when Jeff gets home from work, I haven’t read the parenting books I’ve always said I would, and I haven’t been intentional about teaching Dutch the scriptures or a whole host of other things. Oh, and I hardly ever make the bed. Now, I’m not talking about mommy-guilt or trying to be the perfect wife, blah blah blah. I’m just talking about finally embracing that this season is primarily about being a wife and a mom. And, I’ve been finding the last few days of embracing this that I am WAY happier when things at home are first taken care of. Ya’ll are laughing right now because you’ve known this truth for years.
So what does this have to do with a 1950s housewife? Well I remember this hilarious article Jeff found a few years ago, that was actually published in 1955, called The Good Wife’s Guide. Of course some of it was horrific, including advice to never question if your husband returns home late or stays out all night (!). Some obvious issues there. However, I think maybe there’s something in there, under the ridiculousness of offering to take off his shoes, that’s just right for me. Right now. If I want my husband to be a prince, maybe I ought to treat him like one. If I want him to be the spiritual leader maybe I ought to let him be. If I want our home to be a beautiful haven, maybe I ought to take care of it like it is. If I want my children to grow up to be strong trees, maybe I ought to water them. Just an idea. So this last week “50s housewife” has been my secret motto, just as a reminder that little things like keeping up the house, praying together in the morning, and sitting down to dinner actually do make me a WAY happier lady.
So some of the recent changes (& Resolutions):
1. Taking my kids grocery shopping with me. Now I won’t do this all the time, but I realized I was doing them a disservice by not training them to behave in the grocery store. I can’t just not take them into public and then get all bent out of shape when I finally do and they misbehave. They need some practice. What better place than a grocery store–everyone expects kids to misbehave there. So, today we did it–in fact I was Domestic Diva, because we did Coupon Extravaganza at Safeway ($127 of food for $51), which had some near-disasters but we survived, then a trip to Rite-Aid where I had to leave the store temporarily to discipline Dutch and the security man followed me out to my car and accused me of shoplifting! Ha! Yeah, that was a highlight, I’ve never been accused of that before (I had tucked my coupon into my pocket and so he was suspicious–that’s fair. He was nice about it.) Anyway, we did it!
2. Eating dinner together. Jeff can be squirrely when it comes to his arrival time, so sometimes this is tricky. But he’s making an effort too! Two nights in a row so far and I’m loving it. Dutch even set the table tonight on his own and Heidi contributed by throwing Cheerios all over the floor.
3. Making the bed. Ok how pathetic is it that this is a New Year’s Resolution? Laugh if you want.
4. Have the house straightened up and looking nice when Jeff gets home. Greet him at the door with a hug and kiss (instead of a grunt and a glance at the clock) :).
5. Praying together every morning. This is what we always used to do and I miss it so much. We’re finally back at it, after giving Jeff strict instructions that even if I whimpered and begged to sleep five more minutes, to pull back the covers, slide his arms under me, and carry me down the stairs if that’s what it took (and it did). I’m floored at the difference.
6. Have a plan every day. Not that every day has to be an amazing field trip, but I want to have a plan for something fun or educational or just an experience, each and every day. Monday was the library, then watching excavators. Tuesday was a visiting to my grandma. Today was groceries. Tomorrow, a long walk and “fishing”. My goal is just have one thing on the docket–even if it’s just coloring a picture or baking cookies or learning a new song. One thing for us to “do” each day.
What a funny contrast to my previous year’s resolutions. Of course I’ll keep reading through the Word each year, keep up with Bible study and teaching, do women’s ministry, keep writing, read books that make me think. But, this year, 2010 is the year of the 50s housewife. I like it. Maybe I’ll even wear an apron over my skinny jeans. I could get into this.